Panty Raider © Simon & Schuster Interactive

Everyone has been hit by it eventually. Buying a product that is pure garbage, and that you can't return it. You're stuck with it. There is nothing you can do. And people who buy a lot of games get hit with this problem, and it burns people out. Panty Raider, while intended as a parody, was the biggest load of waste I had ever played. I've played some games that were bad but were given enough time to make the small investment of playing the game semi-worthwhile. This game doesn't even get to that point. I should of been refunded not just for being asked to review this game, but of the time wasted on this game.

Okay, let me take a deep breath. Sorry for this tirade, this is not typical of me in most of my reviews. I usually get to the bad points, then give a conclusion. But this product makes me so upset.

If you need a quick overview of this game, the object is to take snapshots of 3 models in their underwear in 12 minutes for horny aliens, or the Earth blows up. While Simon & Schuster made a parody game before called Deer Avenger, and was a major success (for some unknown reason) to laugh at all the hunting games flooding the market. They even made a sequel to the game Deer Avenger. So now, to make fun of all the big-breasted women in games thanks to Lara Croft & the Tomb Raider series S&S decided to bring this game.

When you start, you see three models that you have to find, and which underwear they have to be wearing. You go to 3 different locations, the woods, the field, or the beach. You use different "calls" to lure models out of hiding, then use "bait" to get hold of the models. You use a modified version of X-ray glasses to find out if the model is wearing the right underwear. If they are, you throw dissolving green goop at the models to get them to remove their clothes until they get to their skimpy lingerie or underwear. You chase after the model under finally they stop, and pose for a picture. Once completed your task of taking three photos, you've finished the game. The only replay value is that you have to find three different models each time. But after you've been so disgusted by this game, why would you bother?

Maybe this would of had a tiny miniscule part of redemption if the graphics were good or the models were good quality. Okay, so maybe I am a bit perverse, but isn't it graphics that made Lara Croft famous? But it is not even close. I've seen better graphics done by a kindergarten student. Some of the jokes in the games would probably only be understood by anyone above 21, with references to the 80's and very suggestive behavior. But the game is meant to be played by anyone under 16 year olds who will probably even remotely appreciate this game, but that is a stretch, a very long stretch.

While the box says "M" for mature audience, it should of been "IM", anyone who has an immature mind. This is a game you'd find at Spencers (a store at malls around the US that sell gag gifts & odd items of junk for an exorbitant amount of money), not at a software store. Just don't bother.


P166, 70M HD, DirectX








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Quick Summary:
Money Waster


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