Touch // Chapter 1: Sunday
by: Random1377 > random1377@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Evangelion… Gainax… such wonderful sounding words. They go together so nicely, almost as if… one OWNED the other. In short: I don’t own Evangelion, they do, and I hope they don’t sue me because I’m not making any money off of this. This story takes place sometime after episode 15, but it doesn’t really matter where… it’s more of just a scenario I wanted to try out. Also note that I have deemed this story to carry an R rating due to some sexual situations.

 

 

Shinji was possibly the happiest person in Tokyo-3 at that moment. Setting up the DVD6 system to watch the movie he had purchased, he looked to the couch… where Rei Ayanami sat quietly watching him.

-I finally asked her over for something non work-related… and she said yes!!- he thought happily, as he finished setting up the box and popped the disk in.

“I hope you like the movie, Ayanami… I mean Rei.” He said shyly.

She glanced at him, then back at the TV, “You said you were sure that I would, Pilot Ikari.” She said flatly.

Slightly deflated, he pushed play on the controller and sat down next to her.

Rei watched with something akin to polite boredom, much to Shinji’s disappointment, -Damn…- he thought, -I really thought she would like a good romance move…- he stole a look at her from the corner of his eye, -she is so cute!!-

Sighing internally, Shinji scrapped the notion of telling Rei that he liked her, -probably just stare at me anyway…- he thought dejectedly.

As the movie reached the mid-point, Rei quietly spoke, “This is something I do not understand.” She inclined her head toward the television. Shinji pushed pause.

Looking carefully, he saw the hero leaning in for a kiss, “What? The kissing?” he asked, confused.

She shook her head minutely, “That I understand, it is an expression of mutual physical attraction,” Shinji could only think that it sounded rather boring when she described it, “what I do not understand is why the protagonist is touching the love interest’s face like that.”

He looked at her, “Hasn’t… hasn’t anyone touched you before, Rei?” he asked her, more confused than before.

“I do not understand your question,” She said, “Doctor Akagi touched me when she taught me how to put a plugsuit on. The commander touched me when I still needed help dressing. You touched me when you fell on me in my apartment.”

Shinji blushed at the memory, “Those are all accidents… hasn’t anyone touched you just because they like you?”

She thought about it for a moment, then answered, her voice flat, “No.”

Shinji screwed up all of his courage (even finding a little spare for the task), “M-may I touch you, Rei?” he asked shakily.

She considered the idea for a moment, intrigued, then said, “Yes, you may.”

He turned so he was facing her straight on. Next he slowly reached out his hand, and gently caressed her cheek, sighing slightly with released tension. 

Rei felt a slight tingle at his touch, as if his hand were conducting electricity. She closed her eyes, trying to isolate the sensation, -What is this… feeling?- she thought, -It is merely his hand, touching my face… nothing more…- and yet, somehow, it was. Just that simple, deliberate human contact, so foreign to her, felt so right.

She opened her eyes and raised her hand. Shinji, who had lived with Asuka for too long, flinched and closed his eyes. He opened them a moment later as he felt Rei’s light touch on his cheek. He gasped. 

”Does this hurt you, Pilot Ikari?” Rei asked, watching his face intently as she slowly ran her hand over it. 

”N-No… I was just surprised…” he cast his eyes downward, “I thought you were going to hit me…” 

She tilted her head to the side, “Why would I strike you?” slowly she brought her other hand up, softly exploring both sides of his face, a look of supreme concentration on her face.

”W-Well… I don’t know… but Asuka hits me whenever she thinks I’m being stupid, and you hit me once before.” 

She shook her head slightly, “I struck you because of your lack of respect for our superior, not out of any malice.” She examined his face carefully, slowly sliding her hands down to his neck… noting with some interest his rise in body temperature and change in skin hue. After a moment she said, “Do you enjoy being stricken by the Second Child?”

He looked confused, “No, of course not!” 

”Then why do you allow it?” -his skin is very warm…- she thought. Then a moment later, -mine is as well… this is most enjoyable… - 

”I… I don’t LET her… she just does it.” The feel of her hands on his neck and face was driving him insane. 

She stopped suddenly, “Pilot Ikari… will you not use your other hand as well? I am enjoying this touching very much.”

He tried not to let his surprise show, “Umm… sure…” 

After a few minutes more, Rei slid a hand down his chin and began unbuttoning his shirt.

”W-What are you doing, Rei?” Shinji stuttered, his hands freezing. 

Rei was intent on undoing the buttons one at a time as she spoke, “I am removing your shirt.” 

The thought that he might be able to stop her never entered into his frazzled mind as he said, “Y-Yes… I can see that…” his last button came undone and she pulled the garment from his shoulders, “Rei… why are you doing this?”

Her brow furrowed, “I am doing this because you offered to touch me… should I not touch you in return?”

”That’s…” he took a deep breath as she slowly ran her hands over his shoulders, “that’s not it… it’s just that… just that.” He trailed off as her hands worked their way down do his chest, softly stroking his skin with avid curiosity, -her hands are so delicate, - he thought deliriously. 

”Just what?” she asked, slowly reaching around to touch his back

Shinji’s voice came out as a high-pitched squeak, his thought train derailing with an abrupt mental crash. 

She considered his face for a moment, “Is it because your shirt is off?” she wondered.

He nodded, “Y-Yes… that’s it…”

“I do not understand why this bothers you, Pilot Ikari.” He wished she would stop calling him that, “We are not in public, and you are physically fit as far as I can see,” she ran a hand over his chest, eliciting a shiver from the boy, “I see no reason for you to be uncomfortable.”

His mind raced as he tried to think of a way to explain it. He closed his eyes, feeling her hands leave as he did, -This is not going like I thought it would… I just wanted to tell her that I liked her and ask if she would go out with me, and now I have to explain why I’m uncomfortable with my shirt off in front of the most beautiful girl in the world?? Unfair!!- 

A rustling sound caused him to open his eyes. When he did, they just kept opening and opening until he feared they might leave his head entirely.

“Is this better, Pilot Ikari?” Rei asked innocently.

Shinji could only stare, his mouth hanging open.

Taking his silence as a yes, Rei leaned forward once more and pressed her skin against his, -This is much better,- she thought with a trace of happiness, -Why was I not informed about this before?- As she continued to caress his skin, his clarifying question came back to her, ‘hasn’t anyone touched you just because they like you?’ -This must be something that is only done between people that like each other- she reasoned.

-He must like me, because he asked to touch me,- she went on mentally, not noticing the fact that Shinji was sitting rigid as a fence post, -and I must like him, because I enjoyed his touch so much…- Satisfied with her (slightly flawed) reasoning, she spoke quietly, “I like you, Shinji.”

Hearing his name drew his attention (partially) away from the fact that he had never felt this much skin before in his life – including his own – and he asked, eloquently, “W-What??”

“I said I like you. Since this is the case, I can no longer call you ‘Pilot Ikari’, as this would be too formal.” She leaned back a bit, causing him to stare down and drool slightly, “I believe that I would like to be your ‘girlfriend’, is this acceptable to you?”

Unsticking his eyes from their glued-on position on her chest, he replied with some force, “Uh… O-Ok…”

She gently placed a hand on his forehead, “Are you unwell, Shinji? Your temperature has elevated considerably more than mine, and you seem to be having trouble formulating thoughts.”

Shinji was about to reply with more of his clever repartee (something along the lines of umm, err, well, that is…) when the front door slid open, and Asuka Langley Souryu came into the room.

Taking quick stock of his options, Shinji decided that the best thing to do was remain motionless and hope that his skin tone blended well with the sofa.

He was not so fortunate.

Asuka looked at them, rubbed her eyes, looked at them again, then rubbed her eyes harder. Finally convincing herself that she WAS in fact seeing a topless Shinji with an equally topless Wondergirl clinging to him as if she was trying to get into his skin with him, Asuka responded the only way she knew how.

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?!” she screamed.

Rei (being quite well read, but lacking certain social skills… such as tact) said, “We are touching.”

Asuka (also being well read, and ALSO lacking certain social skills… like tact) said, “I can see that, you idiot! Why? Why are you doing that? And where is your SHIRT?! Have you no SHAME?!”

Rei regarded her calmly, still running her hands over Shinji’s body (while he was terrified of Asuka, he certainly wasn’t complaining about the touching), “Shinji is now my boyfriend, so why should I feel ashamed?”

If not for the fact that it was attached, Asuka’s jaw would have broken through the floor and descended into the street, “Shinji…?” she whispered, incredulous, “boyfriend…?” She shook her head, “What are you TALKING about!??!”

She stomped over to them and grabbed Shinji’s face, causing him to whimper. She brought his face closer to Rei’s, “He’s a BOOB!!! Why would you POSSIBLY want to be with him??”

Frowning, Rei pulled Shinji closer to her, “Because I like him. Now kindly remove your hand from him, I believe you are cracking his jaw.”

Shinji let out a thankful gasp as Asuka released him, “Whatever,” she said throwing her hands in the air, “on second thought, you two are perfect for each other – the hero and the zero.” She leaned forward, smiling maliciously, “I will tell you this, First Child,” her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, “he’s an awful kisser.”

Still smiling, she walked out of the room. “I’m going to Hikari’s where there’s less danger of throwing up… don’t get anything gross on the couch!”

There were several moments of awkward silence after the Second Child left, -She’s going to leave,- Shinji thought sadly, -I know it…-

Rei finally said quietly, “Did you enjoy kissing Pilot Souryu, Shinji?”

Shinji noticed that she was not mad… yet. She seemed to be assessing him.

“No…” he answered truthfully, “she pinched my nose closed… I couldn’t breathe.”

She considered this, then asked, “Why?”

Shinji frowned, “I think… I think she was just teasing me… she said it tickled her. Then she was mad the rest of the night – until Kaji got here,” his frown deepened, “then she was all smiles… I don’t think she ever really WANTED to kiss me… she just wanted to kill time.”

“So you did not do it because you like her?” she asked, curious.

He blushed, not really wanting to tell her, but not wanting to lie, “No… I did. I liked her a lot…” he sighed, “but after that I realized that she didn’t like me… at least, she didn’t like me the way I liked her.”

Rei pondered this for a moment, slowly drawing imaginary patterns on his skin and listening to his tense breathing.

“Shinji?” she finally asked, coming to a conclusion in her mind, “do you want to kiss me?”

Shinji blanched, remembering the last time her had heard those words, “Umm… are you sure YOU want to? I mean, most people wait until they have known each other for a few weeks, and…” he trailed off, as she was shaking her head, “What?”

“Your logic is flawed… I have known you for eight months. Also, in the film you showed me they had only known each other for a few days. Additionally,” she went on, “you kissed Pilot Souryu, whom you have known less time than me.”

“Well…” -Why am I trying to fight this?!- he thought suddenly.

“Do you find me… unattractive?” she asked, eyes downcast.

“No!” he protested, “Not at all, but-“ 

She cut him off, “Mutual attraction is expressed through kissing, correct?”

“Well, yes… but-“

She leaned forward, studying his eyes, and said quietly, “I find you attractive, Shinji…”

He swallowed, but said nothing.

Realizing that he was still too nervous to make the first move, she put her hands on the sides of his face and asked again, "Shinji… do you want to kiss me?”

He let out a shuddery breath, “Oh… more than anything…”

She smiled and he forgot to breathe, -That smile!- he thought, remembering the aftermath of the fight with the fifth angel. His fear fell away.

He leaned forward slowly, staring into her crimson eyes. Their lips met slowly… delicately… awkwardly. After only a moment, Rei broke away, blushing, “I… I must go… it is late.”

Shinji looked at the clock, surprised at how much time had passed since he had pushed pause. Reluctantly, he let her go, looking the other way as she rose and put her bra and shirt back on.

Putting his own shirt back on, he showed her to the door, wishing they had more time. She paused at the threshold, “Shinji… may I… may I come over again tomorrow afternoon?”

Shinji gave her a look that said, ‘you have to ask??’ then nodded vigorously.

Smiling she said, “Very well… I will see you then…”

Frowning he thought, -What about school?-

Monday

“Aren’t you going to walk with me, Asuka?” Shinji whined as Asuka walked out the door for school the next morning. He hated walking alone – in fact, he hated BEING alone in general.

She shot him a withering look, “Walk by yourself, you pervert!” If the door had not been the motorized kind, she would have slammed it.

He sighed deeply, -Oh well… at least Rei will be there when I get to school.- 

He daydreamed all the way, making himself quite late.

As he walked through the door he spotted her and waved. She did not wave back.

Frowning he started to speak, but Hikari Horaki cut him off, “Kindly take your desk…” as he moved past her she whispered, “you big pervert.” He looked at her surprised, and she smiled at him apologetically, blushing slightly as she pointed at Asuka. Asuka looked at the ceiling, whistling.

Shinji frowned, -guess I should have known she would say something to Hikari…- He sat down, hoping she was the only one to know.

On that point, his luck held… but he was entirely unsuccessful at getting Rei’s attention, though he tried all day. –Did I… do something wrong?- he thought sadly as he walked home.


**


Later that afternoon, Misato was surprised by a knock at the apartment door. It being her day off, she was relaxing in the living room with a can of favorite beer and having a soulful conversation with PenPen (well, more like a drunken, one-sided conversation, but anyway…)

“Coming, coming…” she muttered, -who could it be? We were just getting to the good stuff!-

Misato was not a woman who surprised easily, and she was also quick to hide it when she was. So when she opened the door to find Rei standing there, her eyes went wide and she stared over Rei’s shoulder, proclaiming, “That is the biggest mosquito I’ve EVER seen!” (No one said she was GOOD at hiding her surprise, just QUICK).

Rei waited for the woman to get over the shock of seeing a big bug, thinking, -For someone with as high a rank as she holds, she is easily excited.-

Realizing that the young girl would not have cared if there were a swarm of giant mosquitoes, Misato brought her attention back to her, “Something I can do for you, Rei?”

Rei nodded slightly, “Yes. I would like to speak with Shinji, is he in?”

Misato’s eyes widened slightly at the use of ‘Shinji’, but she nodded, taking another drink, “He’s in his room… go right in.”

Rei nodded, “Thank you, Major Katsuragi.”

-Odd girl- Misato thought, going to resume her ‘conversation’.

Having Misato’s invitation, Rei opened Shinji’s door and walked in, closing it softly behind herself.

Shinji was lying on the bed with his arm thrown over his eyes, listening to his SDAT (tracks 25 and 26, naturally), so he did not notice the young lady’s entrance. Her presence became impossible to ignore at she lay down on the bed and rested her head on his chest.

Had he not immediately noticed the blue hair, Shinji may very well have screamed in mortal terror (he WAS a rather tightly wound boy, after all). As soon as he recovered he said in a sad voice, “Why are you here, Rei?”

She looked up at him, “I am here to see you… is this not correct behavior for a girlfriend?”

He stared at her, “I wasn’t so sure that you were after today…” his brow furrowed as he remembered the classroom, “don’t you like me anymore?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

She looked surprised, “Of… of course I still like you.” She said quietly, “Why would you ask that?”

He turned his head, trying to hide his tears, “You… you wouldn’t even talk to me in school today.”

“I… I do not want others to see us touch.” She admitted, blushing slightly.

”Why? Why not?” He asked, rubbing his eyes. He desperately wanted to understand her shift back to her old self.

“Because,” she said simply, “it is for us, Shinji… you and I.” She cast her eyes downward, “You are the only one that makes me feel… like I am special.” When she looked up again, he was surprised to see tears glittering in her eyes, “I do not want others to know my feelings… just you. Will you… will you still be my boyfriend?” A single tear ran from her eye.

Shinji leaned forward and carefully kissed it away, “Of course I will,” he said wrapping his arms around her, “I just… I didn’t know what to think today… it was like yesterday never happened. I thought maybe I had dreamt it.”

She returned his embrace thankfully, “I… I am sorry. I did not mean to upset you.” She rested her head against his neck, once again marveling at the sensation of his skin against hers, “I will… try to be better, but I need some time… is that alright?”

He nodded, gently stroking the back of her neck, “Take all the time you need, Rei…”

She sighed contentedly then sat up and began taking her shirt off. Shinji leaned forward and laid a hand on hers, stopping her. “What is the matter?” she asked, perplexed.

He looked at the door, “Umm… Misato is home.” Noting her blank stare, he continued, “She might not understand if she were to come in and find us with no clothes on.”

Rei tilted her head to the side, “Why should she not? She is grown, and I have observed her several times kissing Mister Ryouji.”

Shinji scratched his head, trying to figure out a way to explain it, “Well, she IS grown, but she doesn’t think that WE are. She’s my guardian, and might find us touching to be unacceptable.”

This, Rei could understand… but she was not to be deterred. Gently she pulled away from him and untucked first her shirt, then his. Pulling each halfway up in the front, she nestled in close to him, her stomach touching his side. She smiled, throwing his sense of balance entirely off, “Now if she should happen to come in, we will still be clothed.” She said reasonably.

He laughed quietly, “Wow… you don’t let anything stop you, do you?”

She ran a hand across his stomach, loving the feel of his skin on her fingertips, “No… I do not.” She looked up at him, “Will you kiss me again?”

He looked at her as if she was crazy for a moment for needing to ask, and then complied.

**
Tuesday and Wednesday passed in the much the same manner… Shinji would go to school and be quietly tormented by Asuka and ignored by Rei (not that he minded the later… well, not TOO much anyway)… he would then return home and wait for Rei to arrive, and they would spend an hour or two just touching and gently kissing. Shinji loved every second, and then Thursday arrived… and things started to change.


Thursday

Rei caught Shinji as he sat alone in his usual lunch spot, -It is fortunate that Mister Aida and Mister Suzuhara are both out sick today,- she thought with some relief. She approached him carefully, “Shinji?” she said, still looking to make sure she was not observed. He looked up at her, surprised.

Brining her hands out from behind her back, Rei presented Shinji a small, black box. “I… I made this for you,” she whispered, blushing brightly, “I am not very good at preparing meals, but I wanted to do this for you.”

Shinji took the box, “Thank you, Rei…” he took it carefully, then looked up at her, “will you eat it with me?”

She looked at her feet, “I… I am still not ready to… to…”

He nodded, smiling, “It’s ok, I understand…” Timidly he added, “Maybe you would like to… come over later…?”

She smiled radiantly, “Have I not come to your residence any time in the last four days?”

He returned the smile, “Then I’ll see you this afternoon.”

She hesitated, torn between her desire to stay with him and her fear of being observed by others, “I will see you later…” She smiled again and walked away.

As she reached the corner, Shinji called out, “Rei?” She turned to face him, “Umm… Misato is… not going to be home until late tonight…” he blushed. She nodded, smiling slightly, -Tonight we may touch as we did on Sunday…- she thought happily.

**

She came into his room as she always did, pausing briefly to observe him as he quietly listened to his music. He had asked her repeatedly to tell him what time she would come, but she had flatly refused, never letting herself be pinned down. As a result, he had promised to leave the door unlocked for her. The true reason for her reluctance to give a time was simpler than he would have believed: she merely wanted to watch him breathe without him knowing she was there – nothing more.

She walked to his bed and lay down next to him, watching his face as his eyes opened and he smiled, -This smile is so open… this smile that he gives only to me…- the thought made her feel warm inside. She would have been surprised to know that her smile had the same effect on her.

She laid her finger against his lips as he tried to speak, shaking her head. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, -I only want to touch this day,- she thought, hoping he would somehow recognize her wish, -tomorrow… tomorrow will bring more…- She ran her hands through his hair, parting the strands one by one with her fingers. 

Easily picking up on her desire for quiet (her lips against his also making it difficult to speak), Shinji kissed her back for several minutes, exploring her face with the tips of his fingers… running his nails gently across her cheeks. -So she wants silence, does she?- he thought, amused and intrigued at the same time, -fine… I won’t say a word…-

He reached down and pulled her school shirt up, then slowly unbuttoned it and drew it from her shoulders, still kissing her. He broke away from her gently, watching for any sign of resistance as he slid his right hand slowly up to her bra clasp and began to unfasten it.

Rei, who had never really had a problem with being naked (especially with her boyfriend), watched his eyes with a vague sense of amusement. She knew that he was as fascinated with her body as she was with his, and the notion of his skin touching hers in places he had previously deemed ‘forbidden’ while his guardian was home excited her.

As her bra fell away, she reached down and began to pull his shirt up, but he stopped her with a touch, smiling. Still unwilling to break the silence, Rei arched an eyebrow in question. He smiled nervously and held up a hand… she noticed it trembling. She waited for a moment, not quite understanding his intent.

Frustrated, he began to speak, but she immediately kissed him, forestalling any comment he might have, and taking several minutes to make sure her message was clear. –No, Shinji…- she thought as she pulled away, -do not ruin this quiet…-

Now looking a little frightened, he stared into her eyes thinking as hard as he could, -Is this ok?- After a moment’s hesitation, he reached out and laid his hand lightly on her breast.

Her eyes widened as she finally understood his unanswered question, but she made no move to dissuade him, -He is becoming bolder,- she thought happily, -I enjoy this side of him.- She leaned forward and kissed him again, reassuring him, then leaned back to see what he would do next.

Swallowing, Shinji carefully explored her breast, -She is so soft…- he marveled, gliding his fingers across the smooth tissue as delicately as he could.

Rei closed her eyes, -This is… very nice…- she thought, -I did not know that this would be so pleasurable.- she realized she was holding her breath, and let it out in a small sigh.

Taking this as a signal to continue, Shinji gently rolled over so he was resting on top of her and carefully caught her nipple between his fingers. She drew in a sharp breath, then bit her lower lip gently, -She like this…- he thought ecstatically.

Greatly encouraged, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers once more, still caressing her gently. He opened his mouth and gingerly ran his tongue across her lips. 

Rei moaned softly and parted her lips, allowing him access to her mouth, -This is… incredible!- she thought as his tongue clumsily roamed across hers, -he is so gentle with me, and his touch is… is so warm…- she brought her hands up and embraced him, trying to create more pressure on her breast.

Her moans intensified as his other hand found her other breast, -yes…- her mind cried out, -like that…- unconsciously, she began to gyrate her hips against him, her body trying to seek release for a tension she had previously be entirely unaware of. 

Though he did not mean too, Shinji hit the right combination of spots at just the right time… and Rei Ayanami achieved her first sexual orgasm by his hand. It was not a spectacular one by any stretch, but as first times go it was not bad. He was exploring the roof of her mouth with his tongue and gently caressing both of her breasts when her body suddenly arched against his and she moaned louder than before, crushing his body against hers. She felt like lightning was running through her veins.

Then it was over. She released him and slumped against his bed, her smile the only indication that she was ok. He tried to ask her what was wrong, but she shook her head, still smiling, and kissed him softly. She broke away and rose from the bed. Obviously disappointed, he tried one last time to speak, but she gave him one last, long kiss and pointed at the clock. His jaw dropped as he realized that they had been kissing and touching for two hours.

She refastened her bra and kissed him on the cheek, then mouthed, ‘I will see you tomorrow,’ and left without a word.


Friday

Rei’s heart was beating fast, -I have never been late before- she thought as she stepped into the classroom. Her heart was outright racing as she thought of why she was late, -I want everyone to see…-

She was not disappointed, as every eye focussed on her. Calmly she walked to where Shinji (also staring at her) was sitting and whispered to him, “I have had enough time now, Shinji…”

So saying, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him gently.

As the classroom tried to recover from the shock, Rei broke the kiss (to Shinji’s disappointment) and whispered in his ear, “I… I would like you to come to my apartment later, will you?” He just nodded dumbly, grinning from ear to ear.

She smiled one more time, then took her seat and began starring out the window, ignoring the immediate eruption of cheers and catcalls. 

**

They walked to her apartment in the silence of the sunset, neither of them wanting to break the peaceful reverie of the afternoon. Halfway to Rei’s apartment, Shinji shyly took her hand in his.

As they entered the apartment, Shinji noticed something out of the ordinary, “You cleaned!” he said, blushing as he realized how surprised he sounded.

Rei looked at the floor, embarrassed, “Yes, after you cleaned for me that day, I… I wanted to keep it clean.” 

She pulled him over to the bed and sat down, motioning for him to sit beside her. “Major Katsuragi is not here…” she began timidly. 

He swallowed, “No… she isn’t…”

“Shinji… I… I want to feel your skin against mine… all of your skin…” she got to her feet and slowly undressed, watching him the entire time. 

As she got to her underclothes, Shinji said, “Rei… are you… umm… sure you want to… umm… what exactly DO you want to do, Rei?”

She paused, her hands on the clasp of her bra, “I… I want to be one with you, Shinji… in soul and… and in body…”

He blushed, -Yeah, that’s kind of what I thought…- “But… but don’t you think we are a bit too young to be… well… to be doing THIS?”

“No.” she said, then her hands fell to her sides, “Do you… do you not want to?”

Shinji jumped to his feet, “That’s not it at ALL!!”

She looked at him closely for a minute, the nodded as if to herself. She stepped closer and embraced him, whispering against his neck, “You do not have to be afraid, Shinji… I will not leave you.” His body tensed as she went on, “That is your fear, is it not? That I will leave you alone?”

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. She softly kissed his neck, “I will not leave you… I love you, Shinji.”

Quietly he began to cry, “I… I love you too, Rei…” he whispered, holding her tight against him.

She sighed, “Be one with me, Shinji… since you first touched me, I have wanted to unite with you…” she carefully pulled his shirt up over his head, letting it fall to the floor, then stepped back and removed her bra and panties. After pulling his pants and underwear off she led him to the bed.

Sliding between the covers, she pulled him down on top of her, embracing him slowly. She pressed her lips to his. “I… I want you to make love to me, Shinji…” she said breathlessly as she broke away.

He frowned as a thought occurred to him, “Rei… we can’t. I… I don’t have any protection…” he looked embarrassed. 

She reached up and caressed his cheek, a look of terrible sadness crossing her face, “Do not worry, Shinji… I… I am not capable of bearing children.”

Shinji whispered, “Oh Rei… I’m… I’m so sorry…”

“Do not be… it is not your fault.” She pulled him down and kissed him gently, “That is one more reason I want you to be one with me… I want to feel another inside of me… I want to feel YOU inside of me…”

He nodded and gently leaned forward, pressing against her. She closed her eyes as he slowly slid himself into her, then winced in pain as he pushed against her maidenhood. “Are… are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, concerned by her expression.

She opened her eyes, “Yes… I do not expect it to be pleasant the first time… but there will be other times.” She kissed him once more, “There will be MANY other times…I love you.” She closed her eyes and waited.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed forward, feeling the barrier stretch, then finally give way. As it did, Rei cried out in pain.

“Are you ok?” he asked, concerned, -I’m hurting her…- he thought. He began to pull out.

“NO!” she said quickly, wrapping her arms around him, “Do not leave me…”

“But… but it’s hurting you…” he started crying, “I… I don’t want to hurt you…”

She just lay there breathing for a moment, her eyes closed, before replying, “Yes… it hurts… but I do not want you to stop.” She opened her eyes, tears falling onto her cheeks, “I want you all the way inside of me…” she closed her eyes again.

Shinji nodded then began to slowly continue, crying harder at every gasp of pain his progress brought from the poor girl. Finally, his hips pressed against hers.

She opened her eyes, her breath coming in short, ragged pants, “Is… it… all the way inside?” she gasped.

“Yes,” he said, practically overcome with sorrow, -I should have told her no when she asked for this…-

She nodded, “Please… take it out now…”

As he withdrew, she held onto him and wept.

“I’m sorry Rei… I’m so sorry…” he said, clinging to her tightly. After a few moments, their tears subsided.

Shinji tried to rise from the bed, “I… I should go… I…” he trailed off, unsure of how to apologize.

Rei’s breathing had almost returned to normal. She held him in place firmly, “No… do not leave me…” she looked into his eyes, “Shinji… I still love you…”

His breath caught, “You… you do?” he broke eye contact, “Even… even though I hurt you…?”

She nodded, smiling slightly, “Yes… I do. I WANTED you to make love to me, and I knew that it would hurt the first time… you do not have to feel bad.”

Shinji looked doubtfully at the small spot of blood on her sheets, then back up at her. She put her hand on his cheek, “Really, Shinji… it is alright.” She kissed him gently, “Next time, it will not be so painful… and we can truly become one… would you like that?”

He wiped away his tears, “Yes… I would… but only if it didn’t cause you pain…”

She smiled, then gently extricated herself, grimacing slightly as she stood. He sat up (away from the stain) and watched as she went into the bathroom. He could hear running water, then she emerged several minutes later, looking more together. She walked right up to him and knelt, wrapping her pale arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest, “Shinji… after I change the sheets, will you spend the night with me?” She looked up at him, her eyes glittering, “I… I do not wish to sleep alone.”

Shinji stared into her deep crimson eyes, marveling at his luck, -I must be the luckiest man on earth, to have a girl this special call herself mine…- He smiled and folded her in his embrace, “Of course I will, Rei… I love you…”

As Rei changed the sheets, Shinji called Misato, “Yeah, uhhh…. I’m spending the night at a friend’s house… I’ve got my cell phone if there’s an emergency… ok… see you tomorrow…” 

He hung up and turned around to find Rei already in the bed, the covers halfway pulled back. She smiled tiredly and said, “Come to bed now… I want to feel you next to me.”

He carefully got into the bed, taking her in his arms. Her eyes immediately slid shut, and she pressed every bit of herself against him that she could. She sighed, “This is as it should be…” she whispered, “I am glad that you are mine, Shinji Ikari… and I believe that tomorrow morning we should try to make love again…” she opened her eyes and looked at him innocently, “is this acceptable?”

He smiled, “Of course…” he kissed her tenderly, “anything for my girlfriend…”

She smiled and closed her eyes, “I love you, Shinji…” she whispered.

“I love you too, Rei…” he said, kissing her forehead, “I love you too…” he slowly drifted off to sleep, smiling as he thought of what the morning would bring… and of the beautiful creature sleeping so peacefully in his arms.

 

 

The End

Author’s notes: What I wanted to capture with this story is the importance of touching, especially to people like Shinji and Rei. Just that simple, basic, person to person touch that so many of us take for granted, and yet is so important. I tried to imagine what it would be like to never have anyone touch me… and what I came up with was Shinji and Rei. Then I tried to imagine what would happened if, after such a long time with no contact, someone finally DID make that first, gentle contact… I imagined that I would want more… and more… and more… which is the motivation for both characters in this piece. With the scene at the end, I wanted to come as close as I could to a realistic depiction of the first time. No, it isn’t always good… no, it isn’t always painless… and no, it does NOT always turn into a festival of never-ending orgasms :). However, I DID want to suggest that things would improve after this (hence Rei’s decision to have him sleep over and try again in the morning.) If the end seems like an abrupt change from the idyllic feeling of the rest of the story it’s just because, well, life is like that sometimes… sorry. Also (as any author will tell you) sometimes a story can take on a life all it’s own. Originally I tried to write it with earth-shattering sex at the end… the kind you write home about because it’s so damn good… but it sounded phony and unrealistic. This just fit better in my mind. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story.

Feedback is always welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com.


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