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April 1, 11:58 JST
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April 1, 2003
Brunch with the Pope [ Po-Blogging ]
Fscking Blue Screen of Death!

Had brunch with the Pope this morning at St. Peter's in Rome. I set him up with a Movable Type blog and started to explain how blogging could possibly replace the sacrament of confession, if we could somehow just arrange a trackback ping to God.
He was a bit unconvinced, but after seeing a few blogs, he realized that more sins are confessed on a typical blog than in any confessional booth.
I started to explain that the Apostles were a lot like bloggers but he just kept bugging me to ride my Segway. When I finally let him take a spin around the square, he wound up crashing it into a statue and DENTED it.
It's like 3 days old and the old geezer dented it. (Oh, I think he may have broken a hip, too.)

Comments (1) | last comment by il-papa
Posted by Joichi Ito at 10:00 AM JST Permalink | TrackBack (666)
April 1, 2003
Rollerblading in the Amazon [ Waterblogging ]

Larry Lessig sent a text message to my Iridium satellite phone while I was brunching with His Holiness to point out an error in an earlier post I made - it seems that "Amazon" is also the name of a little-known river in South America. (Who knew?!?) To make matters worse, Jeff Bezos has just gotten a patent on "A method of transporting large amounts of water through a jungle..." Larry and I flew down there to check it out and do a bit of rollerblading, but unfortunately we couldn't find much pavement and Larry was eaten by some piranhas (Apparently part of Bezos' legal team,) when I had him wade into the river to fetch the cellphone I dropped. (Never did get that cellphone back...)

Comments (0)
Posted by Joichi Ito at 03:07 PM JST Permalink | TrackBack (0)
.ITO TLD Approved [ Blogging about Joi ]

I just got out of a meeting with JPNIC and they have agreed to establish ".ito" as a new top-level domain. Of course, I'm the only one who gets to use it, since I have been given total control of all .ito registry functions. Since none of the members of JPNIC actually understand anything about the Internet, it was an easy persuasion, especially once I pointed out that the cumulative bandwidth savings of four bytes every time someone visited my page would be over a terabyte of data each day.

Comments (5) | last comment by Joi Ito
Posted by Joichi Ito at 02:49 PM JST Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Introduction of the SmartHanko [ Blogging about Tech ]
One of the great things about being in the Venture Capital business is that you get to see all of the new gadgets before anyone else. Our latest gadget is one that's sure to take Japan by storm, the SmartHanko(TM).

It combines a thousand years of Japanese tradition with the latest encryption technology to produce a portable device capable of verifying your every transaction in both analog and digital form. The external SmartCard chip and 512 MB of non-volatile RAM let you carry your PGP key, medical history, bank information as well as up to eight hours of CD-quality music in either MP3 or Ogg Vorbis format.

Comments (1) | last comment by InkanGuy42
Posted by Joichi Ito at 01:05 PM JST Permalink | TrackBack (0)
March 25, 2003
Dean Kamen's Human Transporter [ Gadgets ]

Dean Kamen just popped in to say hi. I mean, he literally just appeared out of thin air in my office. It seems he's perfected his latest invention.
The Segway, of course, was just a diversionary tactic; his real "Human Transporter" is just that -- a Human Transporter, capable of transporting matter over great distances, just like on Star Trek. Unfortunately, while testing a prototype, there was a fly in the chamber with him and now he has to wear these huge Yoko Ono sunglasses to cover his giant compound bug eyes. (I am *so* jealous. I want giant compound bug eyes, too!)

Anyway, we're going to make a surprise visit to William Shatner now. (I wonder if I can stay connected to my WiFi and make the first blog entry from the 5th dimension.)

Comments (13) | last comment by Wil Wheaton
Posted by Joichi Ito at 04:56 PM JST Permalink | TrackBack (1)
I was mentioned in the New York Times again:

"...said Joi Ito..."

Comments (3) | last comment by Gregor Mendel
Posted by Joichi Ito at 02:58 PM JST Permalink | TrackBack (0)
My meeting with Raël [ Cloning | Aliens ]

I met with Raël, the Canadian cult religious leader who is also the founder of Clonaid, which is a series of concerts, I think, featuring Willie Nelson and John "Cougar" Mellencamp. No, wait, that's something else... Anyway, I went for a demonstration of his cloning business and had myself cloned. Wow - with the extra 3 Joi's running around, I will finally be able to get a bit of sleep now and then. Neoteny will be sponsoring a chain of cloning kiosks on JR platforms, starting with Shibuya and eventially every stop on the Yamanote line. Though this will help boost Japan's sagging economy, it may cause problems in the housing market. Raël also showed me his UFO, which was Raëlly cool, but not as cool as my Segway

I got a white suit just like Raël, but when I wore it back to the office, Jun said I looked like Elroy Jetson.

Comments (4) | last comment by jane_his_wife
Posted by Joichi Ito at 02:25 PM JST Permalink | TrackBack (0)
My Eggroll [ Blogging about Eggrolls ]

How do you like my new random face eggroll? I used to have a random face roll displayed there, but I decided I'd rather see pictures off eggrolls than a bunch of ugly bloggers' faces.

Comments (5) | last comment by Harumaki Ayumi
Posted by Joichi Ito at 09:32 PM JST Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Happy April Fools Day from [ Wirefarm ]

I hope you've enjoyed this little bit of fun I had with Joi's site.
It's an homage, really - I am always amazed at his site and admire his tremendous energy in putting together such a blog *and* actually go out into the world and do all the stuff that he does. Please understand that no disrespect was intended.
There's just so much bad news lately, I wanted to do something that didn't involve the war, the death and destruction and all of the sadness in the world right now.
I hope it made someone chuckle a bit...
(Joi - if you don't find it funny, say the word and I will 'rm -Rf' the site.)