on a bet

hell test


disclaimer: i apologize for nothing. i believe mind (not necessarily yours) creates energy & matter and as much as this is labeled by the majority as idiotic, i think i'm believing it well, because it allows me to be happy here & now. read from the bottom up, time is irrelevant here. leave if it fills you with hate.

note: if you dig deep enough & on many levels you will find nothing. read now!

2003-03-16 - 7:22 p.m.

> the few <

i ponder suicide all the time,
mostly from an aesthetix point
of view. if i'll ever do it, i
hope i'll do it symmetrically,
2 x 357's on each side of this
skull, webcast over the net so
"i'm not alone" - hehheh. i've
no reason to do it tho, so any
webcast you might see, is only
a copycat. anyhoo, i was gonna
say some other stuff, relating
to the title. fucking survival
instincts. is suicide so taboo
these days that you can't even
name a poetrix after it? it is
making people uncomfortable if
you bring it up, they look the
other way, just like they seem
to do a lot when a handicapped
wheelchair rider shows up. why
you may ask i continue this in
spite of making no point? well
it is because the goddamn size
of the verse doesn't change at
all and i don't care about the
good or the evil as long as it
fits the flow of consciousness
which says just flow and don't
pay attention to what happens.

i am not here to resolve major
issues, i am here to save some
thoughts because i'm afraid if
i put them on my own hard disk
i'll lose them in short order,
for backups i don't believe in
when it comes to technology. i
do believe in them otherwise.*

*note: i am convinced you don't
stop someone from taking their
own life by telling them it's bad
for them or they will go to hell
if they do it or some other stupid
shit i've heard "normal" people
say. i have zero experience with
this tho, so maybe i'm all wrong
and i should just shut up. until
next time, i will shut up then.


downwhen - upwhen