Your hosts are Vince McMahon, the Macho Man Randy Savage, and Bobby the
Brain Heenan, who provide all commentary.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Shawn Michaels for the Intercontinental Title - This
crowd is so great, Hacksaw doesn't even have to pump them for the USA chant,
they do it on their own. Duggan chases Michaels out of the ring. Hacksaw
quiets the crowd down and starts up the chant again. Michaels (to ref):
"Tell him to keep it down!" Heenan starts up with the "on any given night"
spiel as if we're going to see a title change. Finally, they lock up.
Hacksaw with three consecutive clotheslines, and out goes Michaels. Ho.
USA. Michaels grabs the 2x4 but lets go when Duggan swarms over. Heenan
asks how people can complain about a steel plate in Luger's forearm when
Duggan carries his pet piece of wood to ringside. Hacksaw with punches, and
out goes Michaels. Ho. USA. Maybe there's a reason this is his first (?)
title match, 'cause NOTHING is happening in this match. Duggan goes outside
the ring to catch Michaels, who is heading back to the locker room.
Michaels goes over the shoulders of Duggan, who tromps back to the ring to
beat the 10. Michaels gets to do his flop as we take an ad break. I can
already tell you this match is going to set records for most description of
least moves. When we get back, Michaels is outside the ring yet again, but
this time he goes to Duggan's face when coming back in. Michaels with
punches, choke on the rope, knees to the chest (with the added leverage,
natch), foot to the neck with the leverage. Rake to the eyes and Duggan is
blinded. Duggan tries to punch his way out, but misses wildly as Michaels
backs up. Michaels climbs to the top and hits the double axe handle.
Headlock. Duggan gets up and elbows his way out. Michaels is whipped into
the corner, but puts up a boot for Duggan to run into. Michaels drops his
elbow repeatedly, the poses so he can only get a 2. Headlock resume.
Duggan gets up thanks to some defeaning crowd noise. Duggan uses Michaels
for a punching bag. Shoulderblock. Michaels manages to knee Duggan in the
gut coming off the ropes, so out goes Duggan. Michaels go out and pounds on
Jim, then gets back in the ring. Luckily, Hacksaw hears the crowd and
returns to the ring. Michaels introduces Duggan's face to the corner, then
to most of the top rope, and for an encore slaps on the headlock AGAIN.
Fortunately, the arm falls twice. Duggan with elbow, Duggan takes Michaels
to the corner and introduces HIS face to the post. Duggan with punches,
including the obligatory ten-punches-while-standing-on-the-middle-rope (and
we all count along). Duggan with helicopter slam (which is the closest
thing to a wrestling move we've seen out of him this match). And the good
ol' bull run. Michaels is out of the ring, and he's had enough this time,
boy. He makes for the locker room while Duggan poses for the crowd. Duggan
takes off to get Michaels, and succeeds, but Michaels gets out of the hold.
They brawl a bit on the outside, and the climax is Duggan clotheslining
Shawn over the steel barricade. Shawn makes a hasty escape, and Duggan
can't believe he only won by countout (well, I couldn't believe it either).
Duggan takes the mic and makes a plea to the world. Then he throws two
chairs into the ring and sits down in one while the crowd works a "take the
belt" chant. We take an ad break. I give a 50-50 chance Shawn comes
During the break, the LA house show is hyped, including Hart/Luger, on the
14th. I'm not going. The card is brought to you by ICOPRO, God bless 'em.
We come back and Duggan is still in his sit down strike. The "Shawn is gay"
chant is now working the room.
Mean Gene Okerlund brings you the King of the Ring Report, sponsored by
ICOPRO (Crush). Bret Hart, you may already know, has been give the #1 seed
"for obvious reasons." Lex Luger qualified last weekend, but Perfect/Doink
went the time limit. A rematch is rumoured. The main event, just
announced, is You Know Who vs. Yokozima. Mean Gene tells us Duggan is on
the phone with Jack Tunney. This week's qualifiers are: Santana/Ramon (on
Superstars) and Duggan/Shango (on Challenge). Later in the program, we'll
learn that Bigelow/Typhoon on Next Week's RAW is also a qualifier.
Doink (The Clown) (II) v. The Kamikaze Kid - This is the Kid's 'debut,' as
evidenced by the fact that he doesn't have new tights (they have lightning
bolts and say L. KID), or maybe when he stops jobbing...? Anyway, Doink
jumps him so he gets no offense. The main point of this match is to show
off Doink's fake tongue (no, that can't be it). Ah! It's to see if anyone
notices it's Doink II (apparently, no one did). II's version of the Kunze
stump puller is a bit different from I's, though. Submission.
WWF Mania ad.
Bob Backlund v. Dwayne Gil (sic) - Much of the commentary revolves around
Luna Vachon, who apparently was on Mania last Saturday (I missed it - damn).
We learn the Jack Tunney has scheduled a rematch between Duggan and Michaels
(guess we won't see 'Zima after all...THIS week) in, get this, a lumberjack
match (and it's about time we had a good gimmick match). For those of you
who don't know, a lumberjack match is one where wrestlers surround the ring,
ensuring the two participants stay in it. Gill and Backlund take turns in a
pretty good, pretty even match, with Backlund pinning with the Heenan
cradle, which must've made that annoying guy with the DIY Backlund T shirt
Promos: ICOPRO (Tatanka), GI Joe, Slim Jim (Savage)
Vince interviews Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Apparently, Duggan's good friend Sgt.
Slaughter (Duggan's name dropping, I'm telling) got Tunney on the phone,
and, yes, there will be a lumberjack match next week on RAW. Duggan,
thinking the belt a mere seven days away, says "tough guy" a couple thousand
times. I guess Yokozuna will be on the outside? Sure.
Another look at Bart and Billy, the Smoking Gunnz, who are going in as good
guys (at least, they only mentioned bad guys in their bit). My, but they
can sure wave those pistols around. Lance Cassidy is NOT mentioned.
The Fink introduces Cap'n Lou Albano, who joins the commentators at
The Headshrinkers v. Jay Sledge and Jim Someone - Vince mentions that Lou
managed Afa and Sika to the tag belts three times, and when Vince mentions
the past, you know something's up. Sure enough, Afa recognizes Albano and
has some words for him, on cue. Albano calls them the Headhunters, the
Samoans, everything but what they're supposed to be called, so about half of
the match has redone commentary pasted over the original commentary (which
you can hear in the background, kind of like the Perfect/Flair match). Lou,
apparently, is back for a goodly amount of time (which should be about three
weeks). Lou does his entire shtick twice, and that's before the overdub.
We learn the indeed, 'Zima is going to be one of the lumberjacks.
Apparently, all three of the Samoans have words for Lou, luckily none of
them are in English. After the Headshrinkers finish off the designated
loser, they rip up his singlets.
Courtesy "Smack 'Em Whack 'Em," the new Colesium opus, available now, or
soon, or whenever (I didn't pay attention), the Bushwhackers do some house
rebuilding. I nearly bust a gut laughing. That was sarcasm, Marv.
Plug for Miracle House, one of the WWF's charitable causes. Phone number
Kamala v. Rich Meyers - The only offense the HNE gives is the offered
handshake. Mr. Perfect will be a lumberjack. Slick is explained away with
"Slick feels he isn't needed, he's counting on the fans" to get the jobber
Next Week: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon in a KotR qualifier, Shawn Michaels
v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan in an Intercontinental title, lumberjack match.
Promos: WWF Figures (finally, a new ad, with no Bulldog!), Load Hugger
Cargo Nets, "Super High Impact Football" cartridges
Bobby Heenan is in the locker room interviewing Shawn Michaels, who has a
plan. Whinefest. Vince promises the first ever lumberjack match...nah, I
must've heard that wrong. Maybe the first lumberjack title match? Yeah, I
like that better.
Not too bad...must be sweeps month. Usually show 2 of a 2 show taping is a
dog, I can't wait for next week. I hope they get this crowd back, they were
If there were any justice in the booking world of the WWF, Duggan would win
the title, and 2:07.9 later lose to a heel Mr. Perfect. Sigh...
Christopher Robin Zimmerman, that RAW guy