One Year Ago on RAW: Yokozuna *demolishes* Crush, culminating in
four buttdrops, and only Randy Savage can save him from any
further punishment. The Head Shrinkers knock two more guys
unconscious, Tatanka pins the Brooklyn Brawler, Mr. Hughes receives
a black wreath but still wins his squash, as does Adam Bomb. MOM
with another video, oh boy.
WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to you from the Fernwood Resort
in Bushkill, PA 11.7.94 (but taped...when?) and broadcast, close-
captioned and on two audio channels, on the USA Network.
Retrospective of the 1-2-3 Kid's career. Win over Razor Ramon, win
over Ted DiBiase, tag team champion (with who? hahaha), win over
Nikolai Volkoff for the title shot. Tonight, that title shot, against
WWF Champion Bret "Hitman" Hart. Hart, at the Hall of Fame
ceremony, praised the 1-2-3 Kid...how *ironic*.
Your hosts are Jim Ross and Randy Savage. Savage says the Kid has
"everything to gain, and nothing to lose."
Bret Hart v. the 1-2-3 Kid for the WWF Title - Cue Owen and Jim,
who come out after the entrances. Owen wants the belt, you know.
Referee "Blind" Dave Hebner won't start the match until the pair of
Harts leaes. Two more refs come down to ringside and escort the
gentlemen out. Does this mean we WON'T get a screwjob? I can only
hope. I mean, this ain't the WCW (see last Saturday Night). Lockup,
the Kid takes him down. Hart is surprised. Test of strength lockup,
nothing. Repeat, Hart with arm wringer. The Kid coutners into a
wristlock and armbar. Hart counters with a slam. Kip up by the Kid
(Is that a Kid up?). Lockup, Kid with headlock into hammerlock
(thank God Ross knows all the names of these moves). Hart tries to
throw the Kid over, but he rolls with it and keeps the hammerlock
on. The Kid with an arm wringer, and Hart elbows the Kid in the jaw
off the ropes. Hart snaps him over and applies a headlock. The Kid
gets up and powers out. Hart with a shoulderblock. Leapfrogs. The
Kid with a sunset flip. Hart catches the Kid, so the Kid gives him a
ghetto blaster, and follows it up with another thrust kick. Hart goes
outside, and we take an ad break.
When we come back, the Kid has Hart in an arm bar. Make your own
Steamboat joke. The commentators speculate on whether the pair of
Harts will make a return appearance. The Kid has a counter for
every one of Hart's attempts to get out of the arm bar. The Hitman
pushes out and after going off the ropes, Hart drives a knee into the
Kid's stomach. Hart plants a boot to the abdomen. Hart with scoop
slam followed by a legdrop (not o' doom though). The Kid struggles
to get up. Elbow by Hart...or is it a forearm? Ross calls them
European uppercuts, and they look pretty painful. Hart delivers
about five of them. Hart with...well, something. Elbow to the back of
the head. Another elbow. And a kick. All these moves are legal,
sayeth Ross. Swingin neckbreaker by Hart for 2. Hart goes to the
reverse chinlock. Elbow to the temple by Hart. Head into the
turnbuckle. Repeated kicks. (all legal!). Back to the European
uppercuts. Whip into the corner, and the Kid lands hard. Whip into
the ropes, Hart misses an elbow, and the Kid manages a high cross
body for 2. Hart with a headbutt. Whip into the corner, the Kid was
supposed to try a victory troll, but it didn't work, so Hart sat on him
for 2. Hart whips him into the ropes, the Kid goes under and tries a
crucifix. Again Hart sits on him. 1, foot on the ropes, 2, 3. Hart tries
to tell Hebner that there was a foot on the rope. Referee "Blind" Tim
White comes out and tells Hebner the same thing. Apparently, Hart's
an idiot, he wants the match to continue. He gets his wish. Let's take
an ad break.
Segunda caida - Well, it didn't work for Jeff Jarrett last week, but
maybe Hart knows something. When we come back, they're at it.
Let's go to the double feature. During the break. The Kid tried a
sneaky rollup and got 2. Meanwhile, Hart gets a 2. Hart has a
chinlock on the Kid, whose arm falls twice. The Kid somehow gets up
and elbows out. Backslide by the Kid for 2. Hart with an elbow to
the back of the head. Legdrop for 2. Hart with a DDT! 1, 2, no! Hart
with a bodyslam, and he climbs the ropes. Hart meets up with a boot
for his troubles. Hart comes back first, and kicks the Kid in the ribs.
Hart misses a clothesline, and the Kid lands a martial arts kick. The
Kid manages to get up, and kick Hart on the way in. BIG martial arts
kick. Whip into the corner, BIG dropkick with Hart having nowhere
to go and absorbing ALL of it. The Kid climbs the ropes and lands a
quasi-moonsault for 2. The Kid with a powerbomb (Ross calls it a
jackknife, ick). The Kid climbs the ropes again and drops a leg, from
the top, for 2. Both men get up and the Kid clotheslines the Hitman
over the top to the outside. The Kid tries a moonsault from the top to
the floor, but doesn't quite make it. They're both down. Hart gets in
the ring first, and the Kid goes in, and climbs to the top AGAIN. He
misses ANOTHER moonsault when Hart rolls away. Hart manages to
get up and apply the Sharpshooter, but the Kid is too close to the
ropes. Hart goes back to the European uppercuts. Hart sits the Kid
on the corner. Superplex city...no! The Kid lands on Hart for 2! The
Kid whips Hart into the ropes, and misses a victory roll start. Hart
drags the Kid by the hair into a corner. Bulldog for Hart. Hart
decides he'd better go up to the top, too. The Kid grabs him and
throws him into the centre of the ring. Then the Kid goes up. Hart
blocks the dropkick and puts on the Sharpshooter. The Kid gives up.
Wow. This is my #2 match of the year (behind the ladder match, and
AHEAD of Bret vs. Owen). What makes it especially gratifying to
watch is that they didn't screw us over like WCW would, with a
crappy ending. My faith in the WWF gets restored, and grows
Promos: ICOPRO (Narcissist), GI Joe, Super Street Fighter 2 game
Todd Pettengill with *your* SummerSlam Report, sponsored by
Domino's. Here's your first report: SummerSlam '94 will take place
at the United Centre in Chicago, Illinois on the night of Monday, 29
August. The huge main event is: Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Todd's
confused. Paul Bearer interview attempts to shed some light on the
situation. You know, considering what they just gave me with that
title match, I am willing to give the WWF the benefit of the doubt on
this one...for now...
Crush (his friends call him Kona) v. Matt Hardy - Crush is
accompanied by Fuji, and not Cornette. YOu tell me why Hardy has
"HV" tights. Savage repeatedly does his Andres Cantor
impersonation (make your own joke here). Crush with a quick 360
backbreaker for the pin.
Next week's big matchup: Lex Luger vs. Diesel for the
Meaningless shot of Razor Ramon in the locker room. I guess he's
coming up next.
rRazor rRamon v. the Greatest Wrestler Alive, Barry Horowitz -
Promos: Champions World Class Soccer game carts, Slim Jim
(Savage), Mortal Kombat game carts
Big "Razor" chant--this crowd has no taste. This is your tasteless joke
warning: skip the next sentence if you're easily offended. Hey, look!
Referee "Blind" Joey Morella! He's back from the dead! He...ok, that's
enough. I guess that would place this taping before or on 4 July. I
would further speculate that we won't see any news of Morella's
death (if we get any) until this taping is over (which would be 25
July). Anyway, Razor cheats, 'cause that's the only way you can
defeat Horowitz, and he does. Razor doesn't even go to the Razor's
Edge, he pins him with a small package.
The King's Court, pre-taped from one of the offices of the
Multimillion Dollar Man. Is he really going to purchase Lex Luger?
DiBiase: "Well, I'm no longer trying to purchase Lex Luger....HE'S
MINE!!!!" Apparently, Ted made Lex an offer he couldn't refuse.
Luger hasn't signed the contract, though...
The commentators are skeptical. Apparently, we'll all find out next
week if DiBiase accompanies Luger to his big title match.
Irwin R. Schyster v. Ray Hudson - After an eternity, Irwin gets the
submission with the Penalty.
Next week: Mabel, Owen Hart, IC title match.
The commentators interview Hart, who's backstage. He does the
whole "respect" business and says that he is "lucky" he held onto the
title. Savage asks Hart about Owen, and Bret now says that Owen's
pin was "a fluke," and promises to have one of his brothers in his
corner to counteract Jim Neidhart.
See ya next week!