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May 08, 1995
Taped 04/24/95 at Omaha Civic Auditorium, Omaha, NE

Hour 1Hour 2Hour 3Composite

Written by: Kevin Podsiadlik


Date: 5/8/95 Taping date: 4/24/95 Site: Omaha Civic Auditorium,
Omaha, NE. Hosts: Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.

-- "revolutionary force" animation --

Last week: Razor Ramon, a _curtain_ consisting of a _shower_ of fireworks,
and _Psycho_ Sid. It's a long way to go to make a joke out of this
scenario, but it's what it needed. As for Sid, was it cowardice or
courier service? Vince claims we'll know all before tonight is out,
and why should we doubt his word?

-- titles --

Also, we are told we will find out why Bret Hart accepted Lawler's
challenge and agreed to wrestle two matches in one night. I thought
we had covered that ground last week, but whatever. Meanwhile,
Lawler is still wearing the same silly grin he had on at the end of
last week's show. Lawler, you see, has pulled off a coup: he's got
a match with Bret Hart. "Do you realize what that means?" he asks.
Uh, we're going to see you running for your life for most of the match,
until someone intervenes on your behalf and you end up with yet
another Pyhrric victory? Perhaps Lawler is confusing himself with
his namesake look-alike who is the reigning USWA champ.

But anyway, Lawler is happy, and we should be too, sayeth Vince, because
we're about to be treated to: Bart Gunn vs. Owen Hart, Hakushi vs. a
sushi 'n egger, a special interview with Sid, and...

Jeff Jarrett (w/Roadie AND the IC belt) vs. Doink (w/Dink)

Yes, Jarrett wins the match with Bob Holly, and the belt, with what looks
to be a clean pin, if a little botched in the execution. Well, end of
that melodrama.

Now it's back to Doink, who, despite a full year(!) of concentrated
effort ever since Jarrett pulled off the best masquerade prank in the
WWF in recent memory, has repeatedly failed to knock the cocky Jarrett
down even half a peg. If this keeps up Clown College may revoke Doink's

On to the match. Doink comes out on the offensive, nailing Jarrett first
with an elbow, then with a clothesline, then with a shoulderblock. For
those of you who were wondering, this match is non-title, not because
Doink isn't worth a title shot (though that would be true), but because
Jarrett conveniently didn't have the title to put on the line when the
match was signed. On the next pass the Roadie trips up Doink a bit,
a maneuver which Doink is happy to put his stamp of approval on, when
the Roadie carelessly left his hand exposed. Doink now goes into
arm-twisting mode, which Jarrett briefly breaks but after a mishap
involving a turnbuckle, the hold is re-established. Jarrett decides
now might be a good time to re-acquaint himself with his Roadie, but
their effort to shake hands is rudely broken up by Doink. Jarrett
powers out, and then uses one of Doink's favorite moves, the drop toe
hold, on the clown himself, but then misses and elbow drop and its
back into the arm twist again. The Roadie aimlessly polishes the
belt, while Jarrett gets out of his predicament by reversing a cross
corner whip, then following up the safe way by staying several feet
back and attacking with a kick to Doink's ample gut. Doink reverses
a cross-corner whip himself, and then, for contrast, demonstrates an
unsafe way of following up: charging in and catching a boot to the
face. This also serves to illustrate why Jarrett has so thoroughly
dominated Doink over the past year. Then, while the referee is
distracted by a mosquito that has made its way into the arena, the
Roadie cinches up the wandering Doink, and Jarrett moves in to
take advantage. Doink slips out, and is really terribly disappointed
to discover that Jarrett did not accidentally slug the Roadie off the
apron as planned. So Doink takes matters into his own hands, choking
the Roadie on the ropes briefly before slingshotting himself to the
floor. Then, after Jarrett turns around after bragging to the crowd
for the umpteenth time about his intelligence, and stands there
wondering what might have happened to cause the Roadie to fall to
the floor, Doink considers having Jarrett go outside and ask him,
but instead decides a schoolboy might be in order. Not quite, as
Jarrett kicks out. Doink gets Jarrett in a whip, but his timing on
the back body drop is *just* a bit off, and so Jarrett duly applies
the penalty and Doink kisses the mat. The referee is clearly dismayed;
clown white is *so* hard to get out of fabric. Now it's Jarrett's
turn. First, an elbow, then a clothesline, let's see, what's next?
Dink, feeling a bit left out of proceedings so far, decides to bounce
on the ropes a bit to see if he can get any attention. He gets
Jarrett's, but since Doink isn't in a position to capitalize, Dink
morosely jumps off. Jarrett's chain of thought is duly disrupted,
though, so he improvises with a Six-Inch Cross-Corner Whip. It
seems safe to charge in, but Doink's size-sixteen shoe indicates
otherwise. Doink with a scoop and slam, and a missed elbow drop.
Jarrett with a couple of stomps, then a whip which Doink turns
into a sunset flip. Jarrett almost keeps his balance, but not quite,
and so he has to kick out at 2 1/2. Jarrett, more than a little piqued
by this development, tosses Doink around a bit, smears some more
clown white on a nearby turnbuckle, sees the graphic come up, and
duly applies to obligatory rest hold during the

-- ad break --

And Jarrett is banging away at Doink's leg, leading up to the obvious
conclusion. Doink has other ideas; Jarrett seems to be concentrating
too much on Doink's left leg, so how would Jarrett like to take a
look at the right leg? Jarrett ducks the question, and the kick,
and Doink goes a-tumbling. But at least the hold is broken, Vince points
out hopefully. Jarrett calmly continues to bang away on Doink's
knee, eventually improvising a weak variant of a half Boston Crab.
Jarrett tries to improve it with the Roadie's assistance, but that
mosquito has flown away and there is nothing else for the referee to
pay attention to, so that idea is quickly scratched. Jarrett is a bit
miffed, but quickly switches strategy and applies a sleeper hold.
He apparently doesn't apply it well, though, as Doink is easily able
to slip out and give Jarrett a second shot at his bowed head. Jarrett
is so taken at the clown's generosity that he not only contents himself
with a simple kick to the face, but seconds later, offers his head is
return! Doink gratefully accepts the favor and give Jarrett a DDT! But
Jarrett has learned the technique for rolling through a DDT, so Vince's
demands that Doink cover for the pin are a bit premature. A couple of
punches and a power slam, and now Doink judges a cover is in order.
Jarrett just manages to kick out, with the results that for a full three
seconds Vince is the only one in the arena who believes Doink has won.
Doink with a couple of cross-corner whips, whereupon Dink decides it is
time to go for his pound of flesh, and succeeds in getting nearly two
ounces from the buttock area. Unfortunately, the referee saw it, and
decides it his duty to give Dink a stern talking to about his dietary
habits. This is a bit of a shame, as he totally missed Doink's stump
puller, which the Roadie was quick to demolish. But the referee did
get back in time to see Jarrett's figure-four. But Doink won't give
up that easily. Not after a year of frustration, not someone with as much
heart, as much skill, as much dedication to excellence as... on second
thought, ring the bell.

Who are the Body Donnas? Well, these two people seem to be squeezing
in for a better look at them. No, my mistake, they're just whale
watchers, utilizing Zony's picture-within-a-picture technology to
spy on their audience. If you're not willing to put in thirty minutes
a day, you deserve to have to listen to these two. He's Skip, she's
Sonny, no wait, Sonny would be the guy, and she's... well, by the time
we get this straightened out there's just a chance the WWF will have
developed a mixed tag division to accommodate this pair...

Bam Bam Bigelow. Boy, the things that have happened to *his* Citibank
card lately. There's something different about the Beast from the East,
though. Suddenly he's admitting the whole LT thing was his mistake.
His voice sounds totally different, probably due to the fact that for
once he isn't screaming. Bigelow's future in the WWF is going to burn
bigger and burn brighter than ever before, but right now it's just giving
me heartburn. Shawn Michaels as a face I can take, believe it or not.
Bam Bam as a face, not with *that* interviewing style, unh unh. And
what is that image they flashed on the screen? Flame throwers in
the background (well, I don't think Sid will be sneaking up through
*those*...), and some getup vaguely like LOD's, and a little like
Max Moon's. And with your support and your pledges, Bam Bam will
systematically take apart the Corporation, from bottom to top.
Looks like Volkoff chose a good time to leave. First scheduled victim:

-- ad break --

Sid Diesel. This Sunday. Don't miss it, or else... you'll miss it.

And with that, Father McMahon steps up to perform his duty, and
interview the challenger, "not Psycho" Sid. Sid looks grim despite
having that "just stepped out of the shower" feeling, you know,
half-naked, dripping wet, where is that draft coming from?

-- promotional considerations --

First question: "What about it?" I stand in awe of McMahon's interviewing
skills. But it's enough for Ted DiBiase to fill the role of all
good B-movie villains and spill the plot; albeit after the fact.
It turns out Michaels was taking advice all along from DiBiase, on
getting a bodyguard, and then even on choosing Sid to fill the position.
Hrrmph. I guess this means McMahon was right all along. Just goes to
show, it's not always a good idea to bet against the man writing the
script. The shortest distance between DiBiase and the WWF championship
ran straight through "Big Daddy Cool's Little Buddy", and Shawn Michaels
discovered to his dismay that this title was intended to refer to him.
And now it's down to Diesel, yadda yadda yadda. After a rude interruption
by McMahon, Sid proclaims that school is in session and it's time for
some history. And, in keeping with the new history standards, today's
subject is some African ruler whom I had never heard of before, and whose
impact on the modern world is minimal at best, and isn't that just a shame,
and we'd better do something to correct that, etc. etc. Sorry, but for all
I know that might have been what Sid said. I did manage to make out some
sort of promise that Sid would personally piledrive every paying spectator
present through the mat from a height of ten feet, at no additional charge.
Gee, that just might be worth $14.95 to see...

-- ad break --

Hakushi (w/Shinja) vs. Gary "Dred" Scott

So, what was Hakushi doing in Calgary, Alberta, Canada? Inquiring minds
that are willing to pay $1.49 for the first minute, 99 cents each
additional minute, want to know. A bit of foreboding, in that this
secret is revealed on the dreaded Option Six, but exactly whom misfortune
will befall is unclear. Lawler has some sort of major announcement to
make... later. Meanwhile, Lawler offer this poser: "What the one thing
you never thought you'd see in a million years?" Vince tries, "You
[Lawler] defeating Bret Hart." Ooh, I'm sorry, Vince, but we just saw
that less than two months ago. The answer, it turned out, was just another
Hart family insult, but that's a minor detail. Hakushi with the
slingshot body press for the win. Lawler still insists the time is not
right for his announcement, which is too bad, since it means control
passes to...

Todd Pettengill, In Your House, Raiding Your Refrigerator. Thankfully,
he's outta there once he finishes this report. So it's time for the
whole card: Diesel/Sid. Bret Hart/Hakushi. Then invert Bret Hart's
photo so he can face Lawler. Razor vs. Jarrett+Roadie. Jarrett is
considering letting the Roadie carry the match. I hope that's not another
face turn I smell coming on. Gunns vs. Yoko and Owen. Bomb/Mabel,
which it turns out is a lead-in to the *next* PPV, King of the Ring.
I think it's a safe bet neither of these two will be claiming that
lofty title this year. So for $14.95, it's six match, plus a live
drawing for a house. Eh. Oh, and BTW, no encore presentation. It's
going to be that embarrassing, huh?

Owen Hart (w/Fuji and Cornette) vs.

-- ad break --

Owen Hart (w/Fuji and Cornette) vs. Bart Gunn (w/Billy Gunn)

And in the meanwhile, Duckman's blitz on this show is reduced to a mere
promo copy, which Vince reads, then cracks a lame duck joke about concerning
Bob Backlund's major announcement, which is finally going to be made next

Anyway they finally get around to locking up, Bart gets Owen in an arm
twist, Owen bounces all over the place trying to get out, then Bart
pushes Owen down, covers, and actually gets two right there. Owen
scrambles out, and a bit of mat maneuvering yields Owen getting a
hammerlock on Bart. Then march around a bit, and then Bart motions to
slide under the ropes, stops short, and Owen's momentum carries him
straight over Bart and out of the ring. Owen is far more surprised
than hurt by this, though, and while Bart takes time out to watch
Fuji's slow, methodical flag-waving, Owen waltzes back in and knocks
Bart down from behind. Owen takes out a little frustration on Bart,
then whips him into the corner. An attempt to whip Bart into the
other corner goes wrong: Bart grabs the ropes at the other end, flips
himself up and over the ropes onto the apron, when Owen comes in
after he gets a poke in the eye for his troubles, then Bart scales
the turnbuckle and nails Owen with a cross-body block for 2. And
from there it's straight into the rest hold. In the middle of it
Bart executes a weird-looking falling down maneuver which might
have slightly hurt Owen's arm, but only because Owen kindly kept
his arm firmly in the chicken wing position during the move. Maybe
I saw that wrong. He does it again... no, I can't see any reason
why Owen doesn't simply withdraw his arm. At any rate, Owen, fully
rested, now sends Bart for the ride, and leaps straight into a
bearhug, which Bart decides to cash into a slam, followed by an
elbow drop for 2. A slight off-night for the King of Harts,
n'est-ce pas? Vince goes on to claim that this proves Bart is
a better singles competitor than Owen, then a few seconds later
says Owen won King of the Ring last year. The WWF, for over fifty
years, the revolutionary force in self-contradiction. Meanwhile,
Owen gains a bit of an upper hand, elbowing out of a hammerlock,
then knocking Bart down with a shoulderblock, but then proceeding
to run straight into a... well, I don't know that I'd call it a
tilt-a-whirl slam; more like a merry-go-round slam. Bart screams,
indicating a devastating maneuver about to happen, which turns
out to be falling flat on his face, courtesy Mr. Fuji. Bart gets
up to yell at Fuji, but Owen notes that Bart wouldn't have to
yell if the two of them were in closer range, so Owen sends
Bart outside so they can have a nice, quiet discussion of the
matter. Fuji, though, is totally uninterested in further
discussion and walks away, so Owen has to go back outside and
carry Bart back in, which he does, and, oops, that darn ring post
got in the way. Owen gets Bart back inside successfully the
second time, Owen climbs in after, and carelessly leaves
his foot on Bart's throat while he talks things over with
Jim Cornette. Owen then pulls up Bart for a neckbreaker for 2.
Owen sends Bart for the ride, but Bart executes the exact same
sunset flip Doink did earlier in the match, with Owen just
barely unable to keep his balance, and therefore having to kick out
at 2 1/2. Owen is up first, and pulls an old favorite, giving
Bart one foot, then kicking him in the side of the head with the
other. Bart, unlike Jarrett, is not quick enough to duck this.
2 1/2 count.

-- ad break --

And we come in at the tail end of an Owen Hart rest hold. Bart
is performing the ritual Elbowing Out, which Owen responds to
with the very popular Knee To the Midsection After Two Bounces
Off the Ropes. Owen with a Sharpshooter-tease and a stomp to
the breadbasket, a sure sign that the next time the position comes
up Owen will go for the sharpie. Owen with an elbow, then a
cross-corner whip. Bart injects his boot into the mixture, but
Owen nevertheless follows up with a clothesline. In the middle
of all of this, we learn an interesting tidbit: Lawler is
apparently going to insist that Bret Hart start his match
with him immediately after the match with Hakushi is over.
Owen covers for two, and Vince studiously ignores the King's
bragging over how many piledrivers he will nail Bret with
during their match. Owen tries to suplex Bart, but fails.
Bart tries it himself, sees he isn't going to quite get Owen
over either, so he runs over and sets Owen on the top
turnbuckle. After a punch, Bart climbs up to try the suplex
again. At this point Billy absolutely wrenches the referee's
attention away from the scene, allowing Cornette to quietly knock
Bart off the ropes. Owen climbs topside, and Billy, wishing to
make amends for his error, runs over and knocks Owen off.
Of course, the referee might have wondered what might have
caused to so well-trained athletes to both spontaneously lose
their balance like that, but such is life. Owen is first to
rise, but Bart is a close second, and decides to take
advantage with a schoolboy. Amazingly, it works, and just
like that the match is over.

All that is left, then, is another tour of the house, Lawler's
major announcement, and a round of

-- promotional considerations --

Todd Pettengill and Stephanie Wiand positively fawn over the
prize. I won't go into details since I won't win it and neither
will you, but in answer to Todd's question, "Who gives away a
house?", the answer is, someone who can't afford the property
tax anymore.

-- ad break --

As for the King's announcement, it's like this. Since In Your
House is taking place on Mother's Day, Bret Hart decided to
dedicate his match with Lawler to his mother. Lawler decides
to go one better: Lawler will be escorted to the the match
by *his* mother! Yes, incredible though it may seem, Lawler has
a mother!! He then goes on to say that his mom can beat up Bret's
mom. Vince has nothing to add to that, so let's leave it there.

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