Look, I KNOW my feed sucks. I'm too lazy to bang my head on FreeNet's
door until it opens for me, and I'm also an optimist when it comes
to UCR's feed problem solvers. So, here it is, 2243 PDT, and I'm putting up
the RAW report. As is now usual, I'd appreciate any feedback as to when YOU
read this. Hopefully, you'll reply to a machine that's working.
"All-American Wrestling" match of the week: Rick Martel defeats the "1-2-3"
Kid by submission (Boston Crab) after the Kid misses a flippity floppity
move. This episode featured Ross and Monsoon discussing the Rock 'n' Roll
Express coming to the WWF, James E. Cornette's history (Midnight Express
mentioned!), and the fact that on Radio WWF, Mr. Perfect guaranteed that he
would be WWF Champion within six months. Make of that what you will.
Fowler and Heenan also hyped a Rock 'n' Roll Express vs. Well Dunn match on
NEXT Sunday's show, so set your VCRs.
Monday Night RAW, coming to you from the New Haven Colesium in New Haven, CT
4.10.93 (but taped 27.9) and broadcast on the USA Network.
Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Bobby the Brain Heenan, who provide most
commentary. Vince hypes the 20 man, over the top rope battle royale for the
intercontinental title match, claiming that there will be 5,795 pounds of
WWF Superstars in the ring. As we join the proceedings, Tatanka is being
introduced. While the commentators chatter, Adam Bomb, Razor Ramon, and the
Quebecers are introduced. We take an ad break, and hopefully, when we come
back, we might start this match.
When we come back, the Giant Gonzales enters. One competitor is left, and
it's the Macho Man. The response is somewhat tumultuous. Savage climbs the
ropes and double axehandles Gonzo, starting the match. Once again Savage
climbs the ropes and double axehandles the Giant. Six or seven guys get
together with Savage and toss him in the first ten seconds. Harrrumph. Not
much happens for the next couple of minutes. The next man to leave is
Mabel, presumably the other favorite. He does get to demolish a lot of
other fan favorites before he's tossed, however. Razor ducks, and out flies
IRS (Feud! Feud!) He turns and gloats, and nearly gets tossed himself, by
Jacques. Booger eliminates the Kid, who gets one of those cool glassy-eyed
looks coming up from the mat. We take another ad break.
When we come back, Backlund is falling....and gone. Martel ducks and
Superfly is gone. Bigelow throws out Perfect. Bomb ducks and Jannetty
flies. Bigelow ducks for Tatanka (Feud! Feud!...maybe) Savage tosses
Booger, no mean feat. Oh yeah, Heenan is still claiming Savage kept Crush
out of the contest. Razor is clotheslines THROUGH the ropes by Bigelow,
angering him enough to come back in and clothesline HIM over the top. We
take one more ad break...
Now, eight men are left. Vince, who has been namedropping "the MVP" every
chance he gets ("...whoever he is"), finally quiets down when the Rocket
eliminates him. A Quebecer follows up and out goes Hart. With six men
remaining, the heels form an alliance (four) against Savage and Ramon, who
don't really trust each other (see last week). The Quebecers gang up on
Ramon, while Bomb and Martel take Savage. Of course, the Quebecers have
great continuity. The fact that Polo manages three of those remaining is
brought up, as well as the fact that there are three French Canadians
remaining. Martel joins his countrymen in teaming up on Ramon while the
commentators talk about how the Boston Garden sold out in an hour for the
Survivor Series. Harrumph. Amazingly, Savage tosses Adam Bomb, but the
Quebecers take care of him soon after. Simultaneous triple missed dropkick
by the heels. Ramon hulks up and does the houseafire bit, until Martel
grabs him from behind. Vicious tripleteaming, with each man taking turns
while the other two hold Ramon down. "Razor" chant. Ramon fights back,
prompting some more Quebecer doubleteaming. Finally Jacques holds him while
Pierre goes for the clothesline...guess what happens, can you see it coming?
Right, Pierre clotheslines his partner, then stands there in shock so Ramon
can toss HIM. Fortunately, all four WWF refs are in attendance, and prevent
Martel and Ramon from going at it ("They don't want to wait until next week!
They want to go at it RIGHT NOW!").
The WWF: Unbelievable!
The Heavenly Bodies v. Mark Taylor and Scott Thomas - Hey, they're still
around! Vince and Bobby, amazingly, hype the Rock 'n' Roll Express matchup
on AAW. Mark Taylor actually resembles the Red Rooster, anyone know
anything about this? Oh yeah, Bodies win.
Promos: ICOPRO (Luger), GI Joe, The Return of Electronic Hot Shot
Battleship ("Yeah!") Hmm, must be October, the Christmas ads have started
Let us take you back to last weekend's Superstars, and the whole
Doink/Bigelow/Luna fracas (McMahon, Savage, Lawler commentary). Doink dumps
a pail of confetti, a pail of water. Bigelow demolishes Eric Freedom when
he can't catch the Clown. Doink hits Bigelow with a broom, and then trips
him up. Huh. Y'know, when he did that to the Big Boss Man, Vince didn't
like it AT ALL. Lawler and Bigelow are are possible feuds for Doink.
Heenan is cut off in the middle of a threat.
"Mr. Nanny" ad. Huh, guess You Know Who signed up WWF time for those promos
WAY in advance...
Doink (The Clown) v. Cory Student - Doink's good guy music is brought up for
the first time, fully completing the face turn. I guess it's time for me to
finally jump on that I-hate-Doink bandwagon that's roaming around r.s.p-w.
Doink throws goodies to the crowd and douses Heenan with a bucket
of...popcorn. The finisher is the cannonball. Out comes Bam Bam Bigelow
and Luna Tunes. Unfortunately, Rene Goulet is there to promise heavy fines
and suspension for Bigelow if he starts anything. Instead, Bigelow destroys
Doink's little red wagon, which is pretty cool to watch. I wish Doink was
still a bad guy, I wish, I wish, I wish...
Promos: "New" WWF Figures, The Return of Electronic Hot Shot Basketball,
Bart's Nightmare game carts
Next Week: rRazor rRamon vs. The Model (no feathers) for the
We relive the last few minutes of the Battle Royale, because we need to fill
some time. Vince tells us that, oh thank heavens, no one was injured in the
"What happens when machismo meets magnifique? See you next week!"
Christopher Robin Zimmerman, that RAW guy