Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jim Cornette.
- Tennis. Now here's an elitist sport. It's not like you can just go out in
your backyard and play a game: not unless you have a tennis court handy.
You're stuck going to a community court (in a park or school grounds), or
better yet, a private club. It is a sport invented by college guys who
wanted to impress chicks, and it's best players are pasty-legged fleebs
who were more interested in scoring on the court than with girls. (What
about women's tennis, you ask? One word: lesbians). It's primarily a city
sport (though definitely not "inner city"). The reason it's as big as it
is today is because "Corporate America" embraced the sport as yet another
way in which to shove their merchandise down our collective throats. (I
mean c'mon .... you know guys like Agassi and Sampras weren't "getting
any" until they got their shoe contracts!)
Maybe I'm being too harsh, though. After all ... any sport with women in
tiny skirts, and one in which a player could get stabbed in the back at
any time can't be all THAT bad. (Not to mention the lesbians ... )
Michaels Chang's match with someone I never heard of before runs more
than a half hour over, delaying the start of the show by almost forty
- They kick the show off by showing the Undertaker chairshot more times
than they played the Zapruder film in "JFK". (Too bad they couldn't have
gotten Oliver Stone to come in and use some of that Hollywood magic to
remove the Undertaker's clearly visible blade-job). They then run an
intro cobbled together from dozens of bits and pieces of miscellaneous
WWF footage (including a shot of the Undertaker's bloody forehead taken
as he was walking up the ramp following last Monday's match).
- Shawn Michaels comes out for an interview with Jim Ross. Shawn still has
the chair which he waffled the Undertaker with. Shawn says it's the WWF
and the fans which have driven him to the point he's at now. He runs down
the Undertaker a bit until interrupted by another "Shawn is gay!" chant.
Shawn tells the crowd that if he has to come out there, he may just
(*censored*) their sisters and mommas. He wraps things up by beckoning a
honey out of the crowd and laying one on her.
- BRET "HITMAN" HART vs. VADER
Being this is late night, Bret is able to say "I'm gonna kick your ass!"
without being censored.
Not much of a match. The action spills briefly to the floor, then back in
the ring just before they cut to a commercial. Once back, Bret retrieves
a steel chair. Vader pulls up the rope-crotching Bret as he enters the
ring. Vader then picks up the chair, but is immediately jumped by the
rest of the Hart Foundation. Bret and the British Bulldog pull Vader
over to the corner and Bret applies the Figure Four around the post. The
Patriot runs out to make the save. In a quickie interview the Patriot
says he has no connection with Vader, just that he won't stand by and
watch Bret Hart injure someone.
- Sunny comes to the ring, then to the announcer's desk. Sunny and Jim
discuss the Brian Pillman/Marlena situation. A highlights package
- GOLDUST (w/ Marlena) vs. SALVATORE SINCERE
Goldust has little trouble putting away the talented (yet woefully dull)
Sincere. There's a memorable spot where Goldust has Sincere trapped in
the corner and is laying in the fists. The crowd counts along, counting
to ten (though Goldust stops at nine). Goldust waves a finger at the
crowd, rubs himself, smooches Sincere, then nails him for the tenth time.
Goldust finishes him off with the Curtain Call.
After the match Brian Pillman taunts Goldust from the crowd.
- They replay the Steve Austin interview from last week in it's entirety,
except this time it's slightly less edited (meaning the word "pissed"
doesn't get bleeped). Next week's show will have an official announcement
from the WWF regarding Austin's status with the company.
- DUDE LOVE vs. ROCKABILLY
How can you watch Dude Love and NOT be reminded of Jimmy "Boogie Woogie"
Dude nails Rockabilly with the "Sweet SHIN Music", which involves him
stomping in the corner, then kicking Rockabilly in the shin. He then puts
him away with a double arm DDT. After the match he tells Jim Ross that
either he and Austin will defend the World Tag Team Titles at Ground
Zero, or they will forfeit them as a team. Dude is again jumped by
groupies at ringside.
- Sunny tries to score an interview with Bret Hart in the lockerroom, but
he kicks her out. Owen Hart squeezes in a quick comment begging
Commissioner Slaughter to allow Austin back so that he can put him away
- They replay a portion of Shawn's interview from the start of the show.
The Undertaker then comes out for his interview sporting a large bandage
on his forehead. Jim Cornette compares the phenomenom of the Undertaker
to that of the late Andre the Giant. The Undertaker says the reason he
never faced Shawn before in the past was because he had left him
untouched to "tell the tale" of the Undertaker's legend. He announces
that he will face Hunter Hearst Helmsley on next Friday's show.
- Sable models the "Austin 3:16" t-shirt.
- Clips from the earlier shown Hart/Vader match.
- ROAD WARRIOR HAWK (w/ Animal) vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG (w/ Owen Hart)
An okay match at the start, as Hawk looked in pretty good form. The
Godwinns come out a few minutes in and they cut to a break. The match
ends in a DQ when Owen nails Hawk with the European Title belt, earning
Hawk the win.
- Sunny interviews Savio Vega and Los Boricuas. Is it just me, or has
Savio's accent gotten worse?
- FAAROOQ/ROCKY MAIVIA (NOD) vs. CRUSH/CHAINZ (DOA)
The hugest crowd reaction yet is heard as almost the entire crowd chants
About what you'd expect from a match with these guys involved. The match
ends in a "no contest" when Los Boricuas stroll in. The rest of the DOA
and NOD come out and the expected huge brawl ensues. During the melee
WWF official Dave Hebner gets bodyslammed. Sgt. Slaughter and his crew of
officials come out to clear up the mess.
- TAKA MICHINOKU vs. JERRY LYNN
Lynn is best known as "Mr. J.L." in WCW. Not any more, I guess. Jim
Cornette offers a run-down of Lynn's career, totally omitting any
reference to his time under the mask.
A tie-up and Lynn armdrags Taka to the mat. Back on his feet, Taka moves
in and takes Lynn down by the leg. Lynn, on the mat, hooks Taka's chin
from behind. Taka maintains the pressure on the leg as Lynn works on a
chinlock. Lynn brings his other leg around and maneuvers Taka into a
headscissors. Taka escapes from the rear and applies a side headlock.
Both men get back to their feet and Lynn breaks the headlock with an
elbow to the midsection. Lynn applies a headlock of his own, but Taka
whips Lynn into the ropes. Lynn catches Taka with a shoulderblock,
sending him to the canvas. Lynn hits the ropes and hops over Taka. Taka
gets to his feet and leapfrogs over Lynn. Lynn rebounds and comes back
with a clothesline. Into the ropes again and Taka ducks a clothesline. He
then throws one of his own, which Lynn ducks. Off the rebound Lynn goes
up and applies a flying headscissors. Taka is sent skidding out of the
ring to the floor. Lynn follows up with a somersault plancha which barely
connects (Lynn flying over Taka's head and sliding down his back).
This enough detail for ya?!
Lynn is the first to his feet and he whips Taka into the rail. Taka
reverses the whip and Lynn smashes into the steel. Taka is the first back
into the ring and he waits for Lynn, catching him with a kick as Lynn
climbs through the ropes. Taka snap-mares Lynn to the mat, then catches
him with a pinpoint drop-kick to the back of the head. Another snap-mare,
then Taka goes into the ropes and nails a drop-kick to Lynn's face. Taka
plays to the crowd as Lynn rolls around in pain. Taka moves in again, but
Lynn stops him with a series of fists. He scoops Taka up for a slam. Lynn
climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Taka is up quickly an pops him one.
Taka takes him off the top with a huracanrana. A quick cover for the pin,
but Lynn gets the shoulder up at two. Taka measures Lynn and blasts him
with a spinning heel kick, sending him to the floor. Waiting for Lynn to
get to his feet on the floor, Taka launches into the running springboard
plancha. Lynn sells the move for several seconds, which allows them time
to replay the move via split-screen. When Lynn finally does climb back in
Taka throws a kick, but Lynn catches it and whips Taka to the mat. Lynn
applies a single leglock to Taka's right leg, which Taka breaks with an
old fashioned fist to the eye. Taka slams Lynn to the mat, then goes up
the top. Taka tries a high arching moonsault, but Lynn moves, causing
Taka to flop to the mat like a flapjack hitting the floor. Lynn hoists
Taka up and slams him down with a Tigerbomb. Taka gets the shoulder up
before the three count. Lynn kicks Taka in the midsection, then whips him
into the corner, following with a drop-kick. He tries another whip, but
Taka reverses it, then follows in with a flying knee as he vaults over
the ropes and onto the apron. He then climbs to the top and delivers a
drop-kick. Taka signals for the Michinoku Driver. He tries to scoop him
up, but Lynn works his way loose and lands a fist. Lynn then hoists him
up into a Tombstone position, but Taka rolls through it, lays in a fist
of his own, and nails the Michinoku Driver. Taka hooks the leg and gets
the three count.
Good match. Ross compares Michinoku to Tiger Mask, which shows you how
significant his push may just be.
- Sunny interviews the Commandant and his Truth Commission. The Commandant
calls Sunny a "trollop" and ends the interview.
- THE HEADBANGERS vs. RECON/SNIPER (w/ The Truth Commission)
*Ugh!* Did they really need to use this special occasion to push the
Truth Commission? Recon pins one of the Headbangers after the seven foot
tall Interrogator interferes.
- Sunny comes out once again as they end the show. They close the night out
with a package of highlights (like they do sometimes on their PPV's).
This would have been a nice touch had the show been all that spectacular.
- Next week: The Undertaker vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Owen Hart vs. the
Patriot. Steve Austin announcement.
Okay show, but I'm not sure it was worth waiting the extra five days for.
This was a lot like the "Saturday Night's Main Events" of old in that it
started off with the main event, then went downhill from there. My guess is
that the WWF assumed they would lose a great many viewers as it got later
and later, so they put the important stuff at the top. This was really
unfair to the Michinoku/Lynn match, which deserved a higher spot on the
Michaels/Undertaker could be a hell of a match if both their knees hold out.
It looks like a Michaels/Dude Love feud could be on tap, meaning we might
see the debut of Kane as soon as next Sunday at the PPV. I myself am betting
they'll save it for the RAW the next night.
They should really have Vader dump Paul Bearer to help sell the face turn.
Look for the WWF to announce next Friday that Austin and Love will forfeit
the Tag Titles, and plug the Headbangers into the "Fatal Four Way" match
at Ground Zero. I'm assuming the LOD will finally win the belts again.