Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000 episode 204:
"Sonic Fights Robotnik 6: The Final Chapter" by SONIC FAN

----------------

episode 204 of SFT1B

Turn down your lights...(if you want to.)

In the not-too-distant future,
In a castle near Iran,
Pearl Forrester and her two sidekicks
Were hatchin' up a nasty plan.

They bought some pizza from a guy named Jim,
Just a dope who obeyed their every whim.
Pearl thought that he was way off base,
So she stuffed him in a rocket ship and shot him into space!

(JIM:  When do I get paid!?!)

"I'll send him cheesy stories,
The worst I can find.(lalala)
He'll have to sit and read them all,
And I'll monitor his mind!"(lalala)

Now keep in mind Jim can't control
Which fanfic she'll send him next.(lalala)
He'll try and think of a way out
With the help of his robot friends!

ROBOT ROLL CALL
CAMBOT("Hit it!")
GYPSY("Oh, my!")
TOM SERVO("Buck up, newmeat!")
CROOOOOOOOOOW!("You know you want me, baby!")

If you're wondering how they work and play,
And other science facts,(lalala)
Go get a degree in physics,
Or really just relax!

for Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000!

1...2...3...4...5...6...

[SOL int.]  Jim, Servo, Crow and Gypsy are all behind the counter.

JIM:  Hey, welcome to the Satelite of Love.  I'm Jim Whaley with my robot companions
Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot and Gypsy... [whispering to Gypsy]  What's your last name?
GYPSY:  Gypsy.
JIM:  Then what's your first name?
GYPSY:  Gypsy.
JIM:  Middle?
GYPSY:  Gypsy.
JIM[loudly, to camera]:  Gypsy G. Gypsy!
GYPSY:  -sigh-  [shakes head]
JIM:  Anyway, we were just having a little discussion on self insertion.  Servo, what do you
think of it?
SERVO:  I think it's a terrible way to put yourself in a fanfic purely for the joy of being
a character who has super powers and is undefeatable.
JIM:  What if I told you it was happening right now?
SERVO:  Huh?
CROW: You mean you're...-choke, gasp- *writing* this MiSTing?!?
JIM:  Yes.

[The 'Bots panic]

JIM:  Now calm down, guys.  I have no powers, you guys disrespect me, and I haven't escaped yet!
If I was doing the classic self-insertion, I would be stronger than anyone and have telepathic
powers far greater than Observer.
GYPSY:  But you *do*!  You just aren't using them!
JIM:  I do?
CROW:  Of course!  Don't you see?  You're the writer!  You can do *anything*!
JIM:  Okay, I'll try to lift this counter, okay?

[Jim closes his eyes and concentrates.]

SERVO[as Yoda]:  Feel the force flowing through you.
CROW:  Like gas.
SERVO[as Yoda]:  Exactly.

[The counter begins to rise, then Jim flings it to the left where it creates a huge hole in the wall
and it contunues to fly into space.]

CROW:  Wow!  You're really getting the hang of it!
JIM:  Watch!

[The counter and wall are restored to normal]

SERVO:  Cool!
JIM:  Awesome!  This means I don't need you guys anyomre!  [Jim disolves the robots]
SERVO:  What the-?
CROW:  Jim!  Noooooo!!!
JIM:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
MAGIC VOICE:  Warning!  Unauthorized use of self insertion!
JIM:  Cram it, you talking tin can!
MAGIC VOICE:  You're out of line, mister--eep!
JIM:  Hahahahahaha!  I'm invincible!

-commercial sign-
[Jim points at the yellow button and it explodes]

JIM:  Ah, hahahahaha!

[planet logo, commercials]

[SOL int.]  Jim and the 'Bots are behind the counter.  Everything's back to normal.

JIM:  Sorry about warping you and the rest of reality out of existance, you guys.  I couldn't help myself.
CROW:  That's okay, Jim.  It's just a phase all self-insertion authors go through.
SERVO:  Surprisingly, it took you only twelve seconds.
JIM:  But, you know, I *can* get us all out of here.  Time and space seem easy enough to warp...
GYPSY:  Try it!

[Jim concentrates hard.  Everything goes white.  No sound, only a white screen.]
[Soon, it fades to reveal the SOL has changed, the dog bone on the door has become a Sonic
silhouette.  Sonic, Sally, and Tails are on screen.]

SONIC:  And then I said to Robotnik, "Up yours!  I'm going to go back in time to Earth where
you can never find me!
SALLY:  Nice move, genius!  We're stuck up in this spaceship reading bad fanfiction!
TAILS:  I wanna go home, Aunt Sally!
SALLY:  I'm sorry, Tails, but we can't.

[Tails starts crying]

-mads' sign-

SONIC:  Pearly Girl is calling.

[Castle Forrester]

PEARL:  Alright, 'toons, let's make this one short:  Today's experiment is one of your own little
fanfictions called "Sonic Fights Robotnik 6:  The Final Battle!"  Eat death!  [to the left]  Hey, 
No-Brainer!  Send them the fanfic!
OBSERVER[os]:  Immediately, madam. [that sound]

[SOL] -movie sign-

ALL:  We got SONIC SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!

6...5...4...3...2...1...

[Tails, Sonic, and Sally fill in the center, right center, and right seats, respectively]

SONIC:  Who would dare to write a Sonic fanfic without us knowing?
TAILS:  Or at least contacting DIC, SEGA and Archie Comics!

>Subject: FANFIC: Sonic Fights Robotnik 6: The Final Chapter! 

SALLY:  Does this mean it's only one chapter long?
SONIC:  If it is, it would probably be pretty long.

>From: soniciscool@yahoo.com (SONIC FAN)
>Date: 9/27/1998 7:32 PM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: <MPG.10786ac9ee13daaf98969e@news.istar.ca>

TAILS:  Hey, look!  SONIC FAN starred in something!
SONIC:  "CA"?  Must be an independent film.

>
>THE BEST SONIC STORY OF THE DECADE!

SALLY:  The 40s!
TAILS:  -chuckle-

>
>Author's Note: This story replaces "UNcle Bob Returns" in the continuity.

SONIC:  We probably needed to read the other five parts to this.
SALLY:  I don't want to, and don't make me do it.

>
>This is it! The story that will end it all! You're not gonna belive what
>happens this time!

TAILS:  They said the same about Endgame and look how that turned out.
SONIC:  Uh, Tails...that was actualy a*good* story.

>
>----Other story;s in this seres----
>Sonic Fights Robotnik

SALLY:  The plot right there, ladies and gentlemen.

>Sonic Fights Robotnik 2: The Next Battle

TAILS:  Obviously it would be the next battle.

>Sonic Fights Robotnik 3: Too Fast For the Naked Eye

SONIC:  Sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it...

>Sonic Fights Robotnik 4: Meet Dr. Quack

ALL:  Hi, how are you?

>Sonic Fights Robotnik 5: The Good Snivley

[All break into an episode]

>----Download themm from http://members.xoom.com/SONIC_FAN/

TAILS:  Is that an extra "M" or is it supposed to be another letter?

>
>Send all question, 

SALLY:  Only one?  Good, less to answer.

>comments, job offers, and requests to make this story 

SONIC:  The worst crapfest in history!
[BAM! Tails hits Sonic with an iron glove]
TAILS:  Sorry Sonic, but it had to be done.

>into a comic book to soniciscool@yahoo.com

SALLY:  Well, it couldn't be any worse than the ones that are already out now...

>
>And now, THE LEGAL SDUFF

SONIC:  oog

>Hey you know sonic is copyright archie, all other companies and things 

TAILS:  Yup, that sure covers everything.

>copyright their respective owners, all characters copyright their 
>respective fanfic owners, like Packbell, Chris Pettrucii and others SONIC 
>FAN does not claim and ownership of anything or anycharacters in this 
>story so you can distribute it for free but DO NOT try to sell it for 
>money. Unless we can work out a book deal with archie, sega, and a 
>ppublisher, hey it would be cool man ;)

SALLY:  Hey, SONIC FAN is Sylvester the Cat!
TAILS[as Sylvester]:  Spho, come on down to Ppheter's Pphublishers!

>THAT"S ALL OF THE LEGAL STUFF

SALLY:  No, "legal sduff".

>
>Now lets get onto the story, it's about time isn't it?

SONIC:  oog
TAILS:  Sonic, you okay?
SONIC:  oog
[Tails slaps him]
SONIC:  I'm up!  I'm up!
TAILS:  Don't say "crap" again.
SONIC:  Sorry, but it just makes me mad that someone is writing a series about me.
TAILS:  Then go after Ken Penders.
SONIC:  Hey, you're right!  Get Archie on the phone.

>
>Uncle Chuck says:

SALLY:  "You could already be a winnner!"

>"Hey how's it going, I'm uncle chuck and you're reading the FINAL CHAPTER 

ALL:  YAAAAY!

>of Sonic fights robotnik! In our last EXCITING, ACTION-PACKED episode, 
>sonic had recently left on some sort mystical quest because the oracle 
>told him too. 

SONIC[as Oracle, nagging]:  Go on a mythical quest and then come back here and do the dishes, young man!

>I wonder what will happen to him , and to ALL OF MOBIUS for 
>that matter! Stay tuned folks, it's gonna be one excitin' ride!"

SALLY:  Sonic, did Uncle Chuck really talk like that?
SONIC:  He was even worse *before* the robotization.

>
>LET THE FINAL BATTLE BEGIN!

TAILS:  To be continued in Sonic the Hedgehog #47!

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SONIC:  Give me a ramp, I could jump all those hurdles.

>SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK 6
>The Final Chapter!
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

TAILS:  It's the top of Wilson's fence!
SONIC[as Wilson from Home Improvement]:  Howdy, neighbor!  Just flaming a wild turkey.
[Sally makes a turkey squaking sound]
TAILS[as Tim]:  Isn't it supposed to be dead?
SONIC[as Wilson]:  Noooo, noooo... Keeping the turkey alive is an old Navajo tradition.

>
>By: SONIC FAN
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SALLY:  SONIC FAN just loves these.

>
>Robotoropolis: A dark day

TAILS:  Why is it always dark whenever Robotnik hatches a plan?
SONIC:  Those things are way beyond you or me, little buddy.

>Inside the dewath egg LABORATORY something EVIL is going down!

SALLY:  I've never really wathed an egg LABORATORY before, much less de-wathed one.

>
>"BwhahahhahhahahahaAAA!" said Robotnik "My it is a dark day today! 

SONIC[as Robo]:  Later expect thunderstorms and heavy rains with temperatures ranging in the
mid-thirties.  Now let's go over to the 
Acu-Weather forecast...

>What a 
>perfect day to unthaw the evil Dr. Quack! 

TAILS:  Doctors are pretty evil as they are.

>Sonic thought he beat him. THE 
>FOOOOL! HHAHAHahhH!!!!! 

SONIC:  Hey!  Look who's talkin'!

>Grounder! Scratch!"

SALLY:  Why are they named after sports goofs?

>"Huhuhuhuhuh" said Grounder
>"Heheh HEH HEH" said Scratch

TAILS:  Are you sure you didn't ask for Beavis and Butthead, Dr. R?
SALLY:  No, Tails, *Furry* Beavis and Butthead.

>"HA HA HO HO prepare the Unthaw-cryo-matic!" said Robtnik

SONIC[as Robo]:  Rename the flame thrower and hand it to me!

>"Huhuhuh....uhhhhh.....ok" said Grounder

SALLY:  How much grass would someone have to take before they start talking like that?

>Grounder pushed the button. 

[PWOOSH!]
[The screen flatens and disappears]
[commercials, planet logo says Freedom Fighter Theater 3000]
[adds for Volkswagon and Document Center]
[back from commercials]

>The machine went HONKA SNORT KALNG FOOM!

ALL:  Hunka-hunka-burnin' foom!

>"uhHHUh hUHH hUH hUH" said  Grounder
>"HEHWHEhehhehehehhehehhehehehehehehhehhehehehhehehehheheheheheheeeeeeeeee
>ehehehehehhehehehehhehehehhehehehhehehehehhehehhehehehehehhehehehhehehehe
>hehhehehehhehehehhehehhe" said Scratch

SONIC:  Oh, Lord have mercy on us.

>"Silence!" said Robotnik

SONIC:  Thank you.

>"HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH...umm.ok, sorry about that" scratch 
>said.

SALLY:  I can't take this much longer, and it's barely started!

>A couple of SWAT bots tossed the frozen Dr. Quack into the machine.

TAILS[as Robotnik]:  Dang!  I forgot to pre-heat it.

>Robonik smashed the button with his fist 

SALLY:  That's kind of counter-productive.

>"BA-BA-BA-DOOM! It's EVIL time!"

SONIC[announcer]:  Are you ready for eviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil????
SALLY and TAILS:  -crowd cheers-

>w00p w00p w00p wnet the machine

TAILS:  It's a Curly machine!
SONIC:  Woop!  Woop!  Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

>Dr. Quack stepped out of the machine

SALLY:  period

>"What.......hap........pened" said Quack

TAILS:  period

>"Oh, you just got forozen by sonic, he used the anti-mega gem on you. 

SONIC:  Why don't you just say "Red Chaos Emerald", oh sorry, wrong author.

>Sorry to inform you of this but your mega gem blew up. bummer. 

TAILS[as hippie Robo]:  Like, dude, come on in for some smokes, man.

>But 
>anyways you're in luck. It's time for the Robotnik Show!"

[All "do-da" the Dick Van Dyke theme]

>"My...qUACK??? 

TAILS:  You can't show that on public television!!!

>MEGA??? GEM???????" said Quack "But.....QUAAAK! 

SALLY:  You okay there, doc?

>It took me 
>10 years to forge that gem! Carefullly *QUAkC!* i made it in my lab for 
>10 QUAKC focking years! 

TAILS[as Tails]:  "FOCK YOU, SALLY!"
SALLY:  Now, Tails...

>10 years of my life wasted...NOOOOOO!!! *sob* 
>QUUUUUAAAAAACCCKKK"

SONIC:  It's fun to read about people who are mentaly challenged and delusional.

>"Uhh.... 5 minutes to air time" said Robotnik "We'd like you to do a 
>little monologue, think you can handle it"

TAILS[as Quack]:  Well *QUACK!  Oky, qUACk!'!

>"eh, sure" said Quack
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SONIC: Meanwhile, on Picket Fences...

>
>Knothole Villiage
>Sonic's Hut
>

TAILS:  SONIC FAN threw in some X-Files scene guiders.

>A TV remains unwatched. A can of mountain due remains undrinken. For 
>Sonic is not here. So where could he be?

SALLY:  Over at Rotor's house watching TV and drinking Mountain Due.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SONIC:  At least the fic's got good vital signs.

>
>The Great Unknown

TAIlS:  Do we ever *not* use the word "great" in a title?
SONIC:  It's a union rule.

>
>Sonic had just completed the final part of his mystical journey, the 
>misty mountain hop. 

SALLY:  That sounds like fun.
SONIC[rubbing his butt]:  Actualy, it smarts.

>Sonic ran up the steps to the great monument. 

TAILS:  That realy annoys me.

>The 
>Oracle was there!!!!

SALLY:  No, the *Great* Oracle.

>THE ORACLE SPEAKS....

SONIC[as Oracle]:  Get me a Q-tip!

>"SONIC!"
>"Yo man, don't have to talk so laud" said Sonic

SONIC:  I laid off some of the gangsta' words in that scentence.

>"sorry" said the Oracle

SALLY[as Oracle]:  it's just that my caps lock and period keys are broken

>The Oracle continued "You have completed the mysticl journey of mobius. 

TAILS:  Wish we could have been there to actualy *see* him go on it.

>You have proven to be a worrthy keeper of this object THE MASTER CHAOS 
>EMERALD!"

TAILS:  Isn't it suposed to be on the Floating Island?
[Sonic whistles, indicating the falling Island]
SONIC:  CRASH!

>The emerald appeared
>"Its...so.....beutiful" said sonic

SONIC[as Sonic]:  duhhhhh......

>"USE IT WISELY hedgehog" 

SALLY:  No, not "wisely hedgehog", "wiseguy hedgehog".
SONIC:  Hey!

>said Oracle "THis emaerals, 

TAILS:  scrws up youR dialoug

>when used with the 
>other chaos emeralds, has the power to overcome all of the greatest 
>evils"

TAILS:  Except for Enerjak, Ixis Nagus, Robotnik, David Kintobor, Ken Penders...

>Sonic took the emerald "Cool man, i'll kick robotniks chubbo butt! Gotta 
>JUICE!"

SONIC[as Sonic]:  Later, Oracle dude!

>Sonic zooOOOOOOoooms away.

SALLY:  Sonic, do you zooOOOOOOooom away or ZOOOM! away?
SONIC:  How should I know?

>BLUE STEAK SPEEDS BY!

TAILS:  Rock it!  Cool super dude theme song, man!
SONIC:  Tails, you're getting a little too into the atitude of the story.
SALLY:  Uh, Sonic, he's always like that.
SONIC:  Oh, right.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SONIC:  Oh, I guess we talked through the rest of the song.

>
>Robotropolis

TAILS:  And why does every single city have to end in -opolis?
SONIC:  Section 34 of the Stupid Mobius Pact for All Inhabitants.

>
>Robotnik bounds on stage

SALLY:  Breaking it.

>Robotnik: Doo doo doo doo doo IT'S THE ROBOTNIK SHOW!

TAILS: It's the MY show, staring ME!

>SWAT bot band plays music

SONIC:  All they have to do is hit the "demo" button on the keyboard.

>Robotnik: Know what tiiiiiime it is?!??!

ALL:  Noooooooo, we don't!!!

>SWAT bots: NO SIR
>Robotnik: It's time to HIT THE BUTTON!

SONIC:  Push the button, Robotnik.

>Robotnik jumps up in the air and brings his fist down on the SWAT missle 
>launcher button

TAILS:  ...breaking it to peices.

>Robotnik: Oh yeah!

SONIC:  But nothing happened.

>SWAT BOTS clap. "clap........clap..........clap"

SALLY:  They said "clap, clap, clap"?

>SWAT BOTS: YAY

ALL[monotone]:  Yaaaaaaaaaaaay.

>Robotnik: Hmmm.....I wonder where those missles go....

TAILS:  So, no pre-programmed coordinates or anything?!?

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SONIC:  They're going to that mountain range!
ALL:  Arrrrggghhhh!!!

>
>Knothole
>Lookout tower
>

TAILS:  LOOKOUT, TOWER!

>Tails is on lookout

SALLY:  Oh, we're in trouble.
TAILS:  Hey!

>"Oh no! incoming SWAT missle!" he sceeams into the walkie talkie

TAILS:  I do not sceeam!  I yuell!

>"Akk Ack! Zee not speek zo lout miseur PrOw-WER!" 

SONIC[sarcastic]:  Gee, I wonder who *this* is?

>Antoiness voce said 

TAILS:  I didn't know Antoine had a voce.  I wish he told me.

>over the walkie talkie
>KABBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!

SALLY[as Antoine]:  I love making weird sounds over the walkie-talkie, yes-no?

>Sonic's hut is destroyed by the missle
>!!!

SALLY:  Unfortunatley Sonic was away on a quest...
SONIC:  Well, looks like it's back to Antoine's house for me.

>"CoooL man!" said Tails

SALLY:  You would say that, wouldn't you Tails?
TAILS:  Well, yeah.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SALLY:  Several sets of incisors later...
SONIC:  Now that's pushing it.

>
>Sonic's Hut

TAILS:  But it's gone!

>
>Everyone ran to sonics hut
>
>"Sonic's hut is destroyed" said Tails

SALLY[as Tails]:  CoooL man!

>"Hmm...well it was a good hut." said Jackerey Prower

TAILS:  My father, uncle, son...?

>"Yeah" said Tails
>Everyone goes back to doing stuff. 

ALL:  WHAT!?!
SONIC:  My hut just blew up and nobody cares???

>Rotor is polishing sprokets in his 
>hut. Tails and Bunnie walk in
>"We all was practicin' king-fu" said Bunnie

TAILS[as Tails]:  Yeah, an' ol' Bunnie's been teachin' me some good ol' fashoned Southern lingo!

>"waaaaah" said Rotor

SALLY:  Huh?

>"Now what you-all is wrong" said Bunnie

SONIC:  Wrong, wrong, WRONG!

>"waaah i miss my family" said Rotor

TAILS:  What the hell does this have to do with anything?!?

>"Well yall yer birthdays coming up and.....err....oorrr" said Bunnie

SALLY:  Oh, please.

>"waah" said Rotor
>"uuhhh uh oh" said Tails

SONIC:  Pronunciation key, please.

>"You all, did you forget to buy him a present too?" said Bunnie
>"Yeah" said Tails

TAILS:  Finaly, some intelligable dialect!

>"Uhh...YOU ALL RoTOR! Heck Y'all we'll be right back!" said Bunnie
>"waah *sniff* waaaaah" said Rotor

SALLY:  ...and back to cromagnom speech.

>Bunnie and Tails run out of the hut. On the way out tails knocks over one 
>of rotor's inventions

TAILS[as Tails]:  I'll break one of his toys for his birthday!

>"oops" said Tails
>Bunnie and Tails kick down the door to Sally's hut!

SONIC:  Let's not worry about the contraption of the door, okay?

>"AHhhhh SALLY!" said Tails
>"AHHHHHHH!" said Sally

SALLY:  We're being eaten by Unicorn!!!

>"Uh Sally sorry about breaking into your hut but we forgot to buy rotor a 
>present!" said Tails

SALLY:  So they kick down my door just to ask for a present?  Nice friends.

>Sally gives tails 50 bucks "GO but a present"

SONIC:  Moon a present?  Isn't that embarasing?

>"Ok" said Tails
>They leave.
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SONIC:  A bed of nails!

>
>The Garage

TAILS:  Of whose house?

>
>Tails and Bunnie get on the hoverbikes
>"I hope you got these to work right aunt bunnie, i don't like it when 
>they blow up" said Tails

TAILS[as Tails]:  They splatter by guts in too many ways when that happens.

>"Heck all y'all, to the mall we w'all!" said Bunnie

ALL:  Huh???

>VRRROOOM VRRROMMM SSSSCCCCCCCRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

SALLY:  The only scentence so far that I can't argue with.

>They zoom to the mall.
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

TAILS:  It looks like a zipped-up fly if you turn your head.

>
>Mobius Mall
>
>They park the hoverbikes
>But THE SECURITY CAMERA SEES THEM

SONIC:  They can't park there!  It's a yes parking zone!

>"Ahh!" said Tails "The security camera saw us!"
>"Heck y'all neednt be worried, it's not evil like them spy eyes" said 
>Bunnie

SALLY:  Wasn't there a sub-plot that had Robotnik and Dr. Quack, and another with Sonic in the Great
Unknown?
SONIC:  Um... I can't remember.

>"Yeah I guess you're right" said Tails
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
>

SONIC:  And the scenes just switch every five lines?

>Robotropolis
>
>Robotnik: And now here's DR. QUACK!

TAILS:  Bah, dump bump bum, buuuum, ba dah da da de dee!

>SWAT BOTS: YAY (clap.........clap........clap)
>Dr Quack: Hey hey! Quack! What's the deal with lightbulbs? They're bright 
>and all but gee, what's the deal with em?

SONIC:  Mobius' Jerry Seinfeld.

>Robotnik throws a garbage can at Dr. Quack
>Dr Quack gets hit in the head with the garbage can
>Quack: OWWW! (falls down) arrrgaaarrrgaaarrrr

SONIC:  Pointless dialogue and violence.  How unnerving.

>Robotnik: Touchdown!
>SWAT BOTS: HA......HA........HA.......HA
>Robotnik: Now here's a segment I like to call, THE ROBOTNIK PARKING LOT 
>CAM!

SALLY:  What a coincidence!  Tails and Bunnie are being watched by one right now!

>On the robotnik show the scene of the parking lot is being shown on the 
>big veiwscreen

SONIC:  How conveeeeeeinent!

>Quack: Ack.....arr.......what? where am i. last thing i remember i was on 
>the ship and then some alies did a mind experiment on us...huh whats 
>happening

TAILS:  Dude's trippin'.

>Robotnik: Uhh....are you all right Dr. Quack?

SALLY[as Quack]:  Quack?  There is no Quack, only.....DR. EVIL!

>Quack: I ... uhhh... don't remember who i am......i am.....dr. 
>quack....now a remeber

SONIC:  His nose is broken.
TAILS[as Quack]:  But by node id broken, I can'd remeber.

>Robotnik: That's good. Now let's go to the commercial break.
>(cut to commercial breka)
>

ALL[as they leave the theater]:  Gimmae a breka!  Gimmae a breka!  Breka me off a pieec of that
Kit-Kat bar!

1...2...3...4...5...6...

[SOL int.]  Sonic, Tails and Sally are on screen.

SONIC:  Wow, what a story.  Mispellings, plot devices, obscure happenings, punctuation errors,
capitalizing mishapps, and a QUACK every three seconds!  What a thril ride!
SALLY:  It's not that bad!

[Sonic and Tails look at Sally]

SALLY:  What?
NICOLE:  10 seconds to commercial sign.
SALLY:  What?

[the same bright flash as before.  Jim, Servo, Crow and Gypsy, dressed as carnival barkers, are
behind the counter]

JIM:  Wow, what a skit!
CROW:  We really outdid ourselves this time!
MAGIC VOICE:  Commercial sign in 5...4...3...2...commericial sign now.

-commercial sign-

JIM:  We'll be right back. [hits the button]  To bad we can't to that again.
SERVO:  That was perfect!

[Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000 planet logo]
[commercials]

[Jim, Servo and Crow enter the theater]

>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO:  A knife blade!

>
>Backstage
>
>"Hey Quack" said Robotnik "I want you to find out where all those SWAT 
>missels go after I fire them"

JIM[as Quack]:  Next time you fire them, or is it just in the wrong tense?

>"Uhhh...ok" said Dr. Quack
>Robotnik goes back to the robotnik show. He sings "Walkin' on the sun"

CROW[singing]:  Might as well be walkin' on the CRAP!

>Meanwhile Dr .Quack goes through the computer systems.

SERVO:  Is he a ghost?

>"Oh no!" said Quack "Dr. Robotnik is evil! 

ALL:  What gave you that impression?

>And look! These missles are 
>aimed right at knothole villiage. And one of them has hit it's target, 

JIM:  But it never had a target!

>the hut of sonic has been destroyed. OH NO!"

CROW:  So, nobody in Knothole cares about the hut, but EVIL DR. QUACK does?!?

>Robotnik walks backstaghe during the next commercial break.
>"Hey quack, where do the missles go?" said Robotnik

SERVO[as Quack]:  Oh, you know...places.

>"Ummm....well, they go.....nowhere" said Dr. Quack

SERVO:  I was close...

>"Nowhere, huh" said Robotnik 

JIM[as Robo]:  Isn't that in Tennesse?

>"I guess I wasted more than a few missles. i 
>wonder why those missles were aimed at nothing"

CROW:  PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T AIM!!!

>"Beats me" said Dr. Quack

JIM:  Is that a proposition?
SERVO:  I can't even tell which are the right words anymore.

>Robotnik goes back on stage
>"Commercial breaks over!" said Robotnik
>Robotnik runs back out on stage

CROW:  But he already *was* on stage!

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

CROW:  Uh... upward force!
JIM:  Bad, Crow.

>
>On stage

SERVO:  So he used those zig-zags for nothing?

>
>Robotnik: Hey! Hey! Hey-hey! We're back

CROW:  to the Fat Albert Show!

>SWAT BOTS: woo...........hoo
>Robotnik: Now here's our guest, WALT WHITMAN!

JIM:  Hey, my distant uncle!
CROW:  Suuuuure, Jim.
JIM:  No, really!

>JUST THEN DR. QUACK RUNS OUT ON STAGE FIRING AT ROBOTNIK WITH A LASER 
>RIFLE!

CROW:  The real Walt Whitman graphicaly potrayed.

>Quack: Die evil feind!

SERVO:  Hello!  You're evil, too!

>Robvotnik grabs quack by the neck

JIM:  The Sweedish version of Robotnik.

>Quack: urk
>Robotnik: You betrayt me! I will have you robotocized! (robotni kthrows 
>quack to some bots) Take him away!

SERVO:  Jim, can I correct those lines?
JIM:  No.  Too much pain.

>Robotnik: Oh carp! 

CROW:  On purpose so he won't swear.

>Now i need a new assisistant!
>Walt Whitman walks on stage

JIM:  One, he's DEAD!  Two, he's DEAD!  Three, he's ON EARTH!  Four, he's DEAD!

>Walt: Hi
>Robotnik: Fock off Whitman! Turn off the camera, the shows over!

JIM:  Fock you, Robotnik!
CROW:  Jim, I think you need a rest.
JIM:  No, I'm fine.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO:  Downward force!
JIM:  That doesn't count.
SERVO:  Darn.

>
>Death Egg control room
>
>Robotnik drags a dusty old machine out of the closet.

CROW[as Robotnik]:  It's called a "Cotton Gin"!

>"This" said Robotnik "Is the resurrect-o-matic. It will resurrect Snivley 
>fore me!"

JIM:  But first, some golf.

>"huhuhhh I want some nachos!" said Grounder
>"HEHhehHe me too!" said Scratch

SERVO:  Can we please kill them?

>"Shuddup!" said Robotnik. Robotnik plugged in the machine and hit a few 
>buttons. THe room is illuminated with light. When the lights dissapers 
>Frank Sinatra is in the room

CROW:  Off by just a little.
JIM:  His first name is Frank,
SERVO:  Frank is Dr. Forrester's assistant,
CROW:   Snively's Dr. Robotnik's assistant.

>"What the fock?" said Robotnik
>"Hi there, I'm TV's Frank Sinatra" said Frank

JIM:  Another connection.

>"Cool. Can you sing a song for us?" said Robotnik
>"Sure!" said Frank
>Frank sang the Death Egg Battle song

SERVO: All the punch of that cheesy "Adventures of Sonic" TV show.

>"Sonic was on a mission dark (hoo yeah)
>to defeat the evil doctor (ba-boom)

JIM:  A rhyme, Mr. Sinatra?

>but he beat him (yeah)
>like he did (yeah)
>and no one was asunder (bow)
>thunderrr... (kra-kow)
>SONIC! SUPER SONIC! (wah wah)
>he is the hero of our day  (may may!)

CROW:  Wait, have we heard this before?

>SONIC! SUPER SONIC! (wah wah)
>let's all say hooray
>(HOOOOO-RAY!!!!)
>lets all say hooray
>(HOOOOOOOrAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!)"

JIM:  Is this the Death Egg Battle Song that has no mention of the Death Egg?
CROW:  Oh, yeah.  The other version is chock full of eggs and death.

>Robotnik dances.
>"Oh yeah thats a smooth jive!" said Robotnik, snapping his fingers in 
>time to the beat "Now sing the Robotnik Show theme song"

JIM:  It's the Robotnik Show!  The end!

>Frank sang
>"Dooby dooby doo doo dooby dooby dooo....It's the Robotnik shooooow! hey! 
>He's Doctor Robotniiik! And his assistant Snivley is koo-koo! koo-koo! 
>koo-koo oh yeah! dooby dooby doooo"

SERVO:  Jim, I'm just going to go over here and kill myself, okay?
JIM:  Alright.
[Servo gets up and leaves]

>Robotnik GRoundr and Scratch clap.
>"ok, let's bring snivley back to life" said Robotnik. He hit more 
>buttons. The light illuminated the room and snivley apperared.
>"Hi sir" said Snivley
>"It's time for the robotnik show again!" said Robotnik

CROW:  Jim, I'm going to go, too, okay?
JIM:  Okay.
[Crow gets up and leaves]

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM:  Hey!  He messed up!

>
>Mobius Mall
>
>"hey Bunnie look at what I bought rotor" Tails said, showing bunnie the 

JIM[as Bon Vila]:  Craftsman robo-lock pliers from Sears.

>coffee mug he bought.
>"Heck y'all I bought him sum of these here crystals, you all know, some 
>of em are red and some of em are blue..." said Bunnie

JIM:  ARRRRRG!  [covers his ears]

>"ARRRRRG!" said Tails covering his ears
>Then Tails saw uncle bob walking through the mall
>"Hey Uncle Bob!" said Tails

JIM:  No, *UNcle* Bob!

>"Aye there laddy" said Bob "Whats up with ye?"

JIM:  "Lady" or "Laddie"?

>"Hey Uncle Bob how's it going?" said Tails
>Bunnie said "Some of em are cyan and some of em are rouge"
>"Focking bad" said Bob "A bunch of bots blew up me trailer"

JIM:  The fock is understandable since he lives in a trailer.

>"Want to live at Knothole?" said Tails
>"Ok!" said Bob
>"And..." said Bunnie "HECK ALL Y'ALL SOME OF EM AREN'T EVEN CYRSTALS AT 
>ALL!"

JIM:  This must be a tradition or something.

>"Really..... THEN WHAT IN THE NAME O' FOCK ARE THEY????" said Bob

JIM:  Jim, I'm going to go kill myself, okay?  Okay. [leaves right]
[Servo and Crow enter left]
CROW:  I told you, Servo, we don't breathe, so how will smothering do the job?
SERVO:  I don't know.  Hey, where's Jim?
CROW:  Probably went to kill himself, too.

>"Well heck y'all" said Bunnie "Some of em are potato chips"
>"Oh" said Tails and Bob.
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO:  Bart Simpson's hair style!
CROW:  Good one!

>
>doo doo doo
>yo yo yo
>sang dr. quack, in his cell at the robototization complex.

CROW:  Hey, you'd be singing too if you were about to be stripped of all your personality!

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO:  The path of skipping rocks on a pond!

>
>The Robotnik Show (yet again)

BOTH:  Do, do, dooooo!
SERVO:  How do you pronounce that?
CROW:  I don't know.

>
>Robotonik: Hi friends, once again it's.....

BOTH[bland]:  The Robotnik Show.

>(waits for 30 seconds)
>Robotnik: THE ROBOTNIK SHOW!!!!

CROW:  Was that for suspense?
[Jim enters right]
JIM:  Hey, guys.  I tried to get the nanites to strip my main processor out, but they said I didn't
have one.

>SWAT bots: YAY.........clap........clap.......clap
>Robotnik: Doo Dee doo dah doo dum dee doo! bo bop bee bop bow wow doo doo 
>dee doo dah day! The one! The only! The stale spumoni! The Robotnik 
>Shhoooooooooowww!!!
>Robotnik jumps on the desk and crushes it.

JIM:  I should have told them to remove my brain instead.
CROW:  Oh, definetly.

>SWAT bots: 
>HA.......................................................................
>.........................................................................
>....................................................................HA

SERVO:  Oh, I can go longer than that.

>Robotnik: Now here's Snivley and the SWAT bot orchastra!
>Snivley: Hey man
>Robotnik: So Snivley, I hear something interesting happened to you just 5 
>minutes ago.
>Snivley: That's right Ivo, I was just resurrected 5 minutes ago.

CROW:  So he was resurrected for the sole purpose of leading the SWAT bot orchestra?

>Robotnik: Wow, cool. Speaking of resurrected people, Heeeeere's frank 
>sinatra!

SERVO:  For crying out loud!  We don't want good people in bad fanfics!

>Frank: Hi it's grat to be here. 

CROW[as Frank]:  But definetly not great.

>Here's a little tune you might know.

ALL[singing]:  It's not unusual to be loved by anyone...
JIM:  Wait, wrong artist.

>Snivley and the bots start jamming on the guitars and drums
>Frank Sinatra sings "Walking Contradiction" by Greenday

JIM:  Why not one of *his own* songs!?!

>Robotnik: Thatnks Franks! 

SERVO:  The hell?

>Now it's time for THE PARKING LOT CAM!

ALL:  Again.

>SWAT bots: ALL............RIGHT
>Snivley and the band play the Parking Lot Cam Song

CROW:  Oh, it's a musical fanfic.

>Snivley: (sings) OH YEAH YEAH YEAH ITS IN A PARKING LOT! THERE'S A LOTTA 
>CARS YOU JUST GOTTA SEE OH YEAH ON THE PARKING LOT CAAAAAM!!!!!
>Everybody looks at the big screen
>Robotnik: Hmmm....there's a car over there.....another car over 
>there....and another one...this is exciting huh?

SERVO:  To them, probably.

>SWAT bots: YES
>Robotnik: Hey what's that? It looks like.....zoom in.....ah ha! I do 
>beleve it is .... freedom fighters!

JIM:  A feckle of ferocious freedom fighters!

>Snivley: Freedom Fighters sir?
>Robotnik: Yeah, freedo fighters. 

CROW:  But then the sentence would have to be "*No*, freedo fighters."

>Hey ...... LET'S GO GET EM 
>YAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
>Snivley and the bots play the pee-wee herman song, also know by it's real 
>name "Tequila"

SERVO:   Wasn't that in Eegah?

>Robotnik runs off the stage and out the door. The SWAT bots clap and 
>cheer.

JIM:  It's so great that Robotnik ran out on his own show!  We've just got to clap!

>Snivley and the bots follow Robotnik, still playing music.
>(cut to scene of death egg launching pad)

SERVO:  So they're not going after them after all.

>Robotnik Snivley and the bots get into a stealth-hover. Snivley and the 
>bots continue to play music.
>The stealth-hover takes off. FWOSH!
>

CROW:  Speaking of taking off...

[Jim picks up Servo and they all leave the theater]
[commercials]

[SOL int.]  Jim, Servo and Crow are behind the counter

JIM:  Sorry that little escape thing didn't work, you guys.
SERVO:  Try again?
JIM:  I don't think so.  I almost warped the universe out of existence.
CROW:  Pleeeeeese?
JIM:  No.

[Gypsy comes in]

JIM:  Hey, Gyps.  Anything bad happening?
GYPSY:  No, but I found these crystals.  You want them?
JIM:  What crystals?
GYPSY:  Some of 'em are red, and some of 'em are blue, and some of 'em are green...
[Gypsy continues to sound off colors]
JIM:  Uh, Gyps?
GYPSY:  ...and some of 'em are turqouise...
CROW:  Gypsy, don't you think that-
GYPSY:  ...and some of 'em are navy, and some of 'em are plaid...
SERVO:  Uh, oh.  Don't you see what's happening here?
JIM:  Yeah, Gypsy's been tampered with by some unknown force!
GYPSY:  ...and some of 'em are black, and...
CROW:  But who could have done such a terrible thing?
JIM:  Only one explanation:  [close up]  Pearl Forrester.

[Castle Forrester]

PEARL:  No, it wasn't me.  I've been down here with those two knobs trying to construct a flow
chart for the opening scentence of the fanfic.

[SOL]

GYPSY:  ...and some of 'em are magenta...
JIM:  That's gotta be tough work.

[CF]

PEARL:  I'll say.
[off screen we hear Bobo ooking softly and Observer weeping in pain]
OBSERVER[os]:  Oh, the agony!  This is too much of a strain on my already weakened brain!
PEARL:  Anyway, I'd just like to say something real important that you should know...

[SOL]
CROW:  And what is that?
GYPSY:  ...and some of 'em are bluish-greenish-yellow...

[CF]

PEARL:  GET BACK INTO THAT THEATER OR I'LL CUT YOUR THROATS AND CRAM TWIGS UP YOUR--

[SOL]  -movie sign-

JIM:  Oh, we got FANFIC SIIIIGN!!!
GYPSY:  ...and heck y'all, some of 'em aren't even crystals at all!
SERVO:  That's nice, Gyps.  AAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!  STORY SIIIGN!!!

6...5...4...3...2...1...

[Jim and thems guys enter the theater.  Now he's got *me* doing it!]

JIM:  Maybe Gypsy's hard drive needs dusting...?

>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO:  Hey, a cold front!

>
>Mobius Mall
>
>"let's buy rotor's birthday cake" said Tails. They go to the grocery 
>store.

JIM:  Oh, yeah.  Buy him a really cheesy grocery store-bought cake to show him
how much he's loved.

>Tails walks up to the cake counter. "One way past cool cake please" he 
>says

CROW[as vendor]:  Sorry, Sonic ate them all.

>The worker says "Uhh  sorry, we don't sell way past cool cakes, we only 
>sell 'moderately neet-o' cakes"

SERVO:  Hey!  That cake sounds neat-o!

>Tails jumps up on the counter and yells at the worker "Don't fock with me 
>man! I said I want a way past cool focking cake now you better get me 
>that or i'm gonna...."

JIM:  And Tails is...eight years old?
CROW[as Tails]:  I accuse my focking parents that I say fock all he time.

>CRRRAAASHH!!! A STEALTH-HOVER FLYS THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE GROCERY STORE 
>AND LANDS IN THE AISLE! FOOD FLYS EVERYWHERE!!!

SERVO:  Oh no!  Food flies!  I'm allergic to food flies!

>Robotnik, Snivley and the bots get out of the stealth-hover. Robotnik 
>steals some food and puts it in his pocket.

CROW:  But those were the chocolate-frosted brownies!
JIM:  eew!

>"I like cookies" says Robotnik.

SERVO[as Robotnik]:  They keep me thin.

>Robotnik sees the freedom fighters "GET THEM!!!" he yells.
>The freedom fighters make a run for it! Bots and robotnik are chasing 
>them. They jump over food! Tails knocks over a shelf of cereal boxes! 

JIM:  He doesn't leave out *any* detail, does he?

>Robotnik slips on some froot loops! Tails Bunnie 

CROW:  Who is Tails Bunnie, is that a new character?

>and Bob jump in a 
>shopping cart! Bots shoot at them! Pop cans are hit by laser fire! KABOOM 
>KABOOM KABOOM! The grocery cart goies flying out of the store and crashes 
>into the ground! Robotnik is in hot pursuit he rolls past the checkout 
>counter after them!

JIM:  Tails ties his shoes!
SERVO:  The neat-o cakes go on sale!
CROW:  Someone eats a peanut!

>The casheir says "Uhhh could I get a price check on a big fat guy?"

JIM:  That'll be twenty cents.
SERVO:  You get what you pay for.

>The freedom fighters run into a golf store! They steal a golf cart, Tails 
>drives!

CROW:  They don't sell golf carts in a golf store!  You need to go to a motor vehicles place!

>Robotnik runs into the store too, he jumps into a golf cart and 
>all the tires go flat. He steps into another one, snivley gets in too. 
>The bots get into another cart.

JIM:  All the 'Bots in one cart?
SERVO[as 'Bot, singing]:  Move over, move over...

>Robotnik says "Snivley, lets have some appropriate music for this 
>situation"
>Snivley plays the sax as robotnik drives the cart after the freedom 
>fighters. The bots follow Robotnik's cart, playing the other instruments.

CROW:  All the antics of any given Fox cartoon.

>SCCRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PUTT PUTT! VROM SCREEEEE PUTT PUTT PUTT!!!!!
>They hit a corner! Robotnik almost tips over! The freedom fighters run 
>over a hot dog vendor, robotnik steals a hot dog on the way by
>"Good hot dog" says Robotnik.

SERVO:  Robotnik's so fat he keeps hitting the horn.

>The freedom fighter drive through The Gap! 

[Servo's head explo-]
JIM:  Let's not go there yet.

>The knock over clothes racks 

CROW:  -is annoyingly loud.

>there's gap clothers everywhere 

JIM:  Gee, why do you think that is, hmm?

>Robotnik is hit by denim shirts and 
>kahikis! Robotniks cart crushes the Gap worker. "This is an original" 
>says the worker.

SERVO:  This is "Hobgoblins" plus "Blood and Metal"!

>Then they drive down the escalator! bumpity bump bump bump bump CRASH 
>some people get knowcked of teh escalator, bump bump bump bump tey rech 

CROW: Yeah, tell me about it.  I can't keep my breakfast down either.
JIM:  I don't think that's what he meant.

>the bottom PUTTT PUTT PUTTT vrooom!!!!!!!!!!!!

CROW:  Hey, the golf cart puts!  Hahahaha.

>They drive through the arcade and knock over arcade machines! 

SERVO:  As opposed to apple dumpling machines.

>They drive 
>through starbucks! Tails grabs a pot of coffee and throws it at robotnik. 
>It misses and hits Snivley!

JIM:  At least it's going fast.

>"ARRRRRG HOT HOT HOT!!!!" says Snivley.

ALL:  HOT, HOT, HOT!

>"Keep playing the music snivley!" says Robotnik.

CROW[as Snivley]:  If you don't mind, I'm having a very bad time with some hot pants!
SERVO:  eew.

>Robotnik wasn't looking where he was going and he drives right thorough a 
>pile of coffee cups! KRRRAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!! BROKEN GLASS ALL OVER 
>THE PLACE!

JIM:  Then they'd be coffee *glasses*.

>They drive out into the food court IT'S A DEAD END! SCCRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!! 

CROW:  They *could* try the door at the end.

>The freedom fighters try to turn around but Robotniks cart stops in front 
>of them. Robotnik Snivley 

SERVO:  And again, a new amalgamed character.

>and the bots get out. The bots fire on the 
>freedom fighters cart, turning it into scrap. 

SERVO:  Therefore killing the Freedom Fighters insde, right?
JIM:  Nope.

>They capture the freedom 
>fighters. A hoverunt blasts through the roof and picks up Robotnik and 
>bots andf sniovley and freedoms fighters.

JIM:  It can actualy hold them *and* Robotnik?

>"Oh mah stars" says Bunnie.

CROW[as Bunnie]:  Some of 'em are green, and some of 'em are purple...

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM:  These ancient dinosaur bones once belonged to a race of deadly carnivors.
SERVO:  That's re-using an old joke.

>
>Knoyhole

ALL:  Huh!?!

>
>Sonic runs into knothole, and into sally's hut.

SERVO[as Sonic]:  Ouch!  That hurt!  Next time I'll look for the door!

>"Yo Sal" says Sonic
>Then Sonic looks outside.

CROW[as Sonic]:  Hey, you remodeled my hut!  Great!

>"AHHHH! MY HUT!" he says
>"Hey Sonic your hut blew up" says Sally

JIM[as Sally]:  Just thought you should know.  Cybersex?

>"Yeah I know. Want to have cybersex?" says Sonic

ALL:  Aaaaggggg!
JIM:  I was *kidding*!

>bow-chicka-womp-bow-bow-chicka-chicka-mop-bop-wom-bow-chika

CROW:  Heaven save me.

>"Sonic stop playing that disco music" said Sally "And no I won't have 
>cybersex with you"

ALL:  WHEW!

>"You are beutiful" says Sonic.
>"oh....well......ok i'll cybersex but just this once..." says Sally

ALL:  NOOOOOOOO!!!

>JUST THEN A ROCKET BLOWS A HOLE THROUGH THE WALL OF THE HUT!
>ROTOR JUMPS THROUGH THE HOLE INTO THE HUT, CARRYING A ROCKET LAUNCHER!
>"JUst testing" said Rotor. He took a sip of coffee.

JIM:  So, no one really cares about the unlawful destruction of anyone else's things?

>"Yo rote, wassup 'alrus dude?" said Sonic

CROW:  Ack.

>"This just in!" said Rotor "We have just recieved word from the mobius 
>mall that Bunnie, Tails and Bob Prower have been captured by Robotnik!"

SERVO[as Rotor]:  I turned myself into a news channel!  Cool, huh?

>"Let's go save them!" says SOnic
>"Godo plan" says Sally

CROW:  Oh, great, so Sally sits at home sipping tea while Sonic endagers himself again.

>"Good coffee" says Rotor. Rotor dunks a donut!

SERVO:  Uncalled for exclamation!

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

CROW:  Just a reminder to sharpen your pencils daily.

>
>The Mall
>
>They walk into the mall.

JIM:  Who?

>"Oops" says Sonic "I think we were supposed to go to the Death Egg, not 
>the mall"

SERVO:  Sonic gets 2 stars for inteligence in my book.
CROW:  2??
SERVO:  Out of a million.
CROW:  Oh.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\


JIM:  Hey, it's shorter!

>
>Robotropolis
>
>Bot fighting action!

JIM:  Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, by Milton Bradley.

>Sonic spin dashes bots! KAPOW 7 bots die!

CROW:  Well, better then half a million, I suppose...

>Hoverunits shoot at sonic! 40 hoverunits! Sonic jumps into a dumpster!  

SERVO[as Sonic]:  Waaah!  Go away!

>Rotor throws a grappling hook at a hoverunit, ROtor and Sally pulls the 
>hoverunit to the ground. *CRASH* Sonic dashes the swat bot KABOOM!
>"No time to drone Mr. Bot" says Sonic

JIM:  Actualy an okay joke.
SERVO:  You feeling okay, Jim?
JIM:  No, why?

>"Here is the plan" says Sally 

SERVO[as Sally]:  We shut down one of the power generators like we always do.

>"Sonic, you go into the death egg while 
>rotor and I distract the bots outside"

CROW and JIM[as Sally and Rotor]:  Hey!  You 'bots!  Look at us!  Hey!  Woooooo!!!  Go Packers!
Distracting!!!  HAHAHA!

>"JUCIE TIME!" says Sonic he zooms into the death egg.
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM:  Oh, and look, some orange juicers.

>
>Death Egg, Robotocizer Prisoner Cells

SERVO:  Why would a roboticizer be in the Death Egg?

>
>Tails is thrown into a cell. "oof" he says. Dr . Quack is in the cell!

JIM:  Is it the nice/evil Dr. Quack, or the nice Dr. Quack?

>"AHHH!" says Tails

CROW:  Are we going to keep on the "ahhh..." jokes, Jim?
JIM:  Nah, we ran 'em dry last month.

>"I am good now" says Dr. Quack

SERVO[as Quack, maniacly]:  I'm good now!  heheheh, hee hee hee,  ha, hah hah!  AH, HAHAHAHA!!!

>"Probably why you're in this cell" says Tails
>"Can I join the freedom fighters" says Quack

JIM:  It's that Snively defection thing all over again!

>"Ok" says Tails "If we get out of here"

CROW[as King Acorn]:  I'm going to press you against the wall and imprison you!  Call me Max!

>1 minute later sonic dashes in!
>"Yo yo?" says Sonic
>"Hey Sonic!" says Tails
>"Yo lil bro, I will save you!" says Sonic

JIM[as Tails]:  No, that's okay.  Being chained up is neat-o!

>Sonic spin dashes a power cable. He gets electrocuted!
>"ow" says crispy sonic

SERVO[as boozed KFC customer]:  I'll have some extra crispy hedgehog, and some bufallo wings on
the side.

>The alrms go off! WAAAH WAAH WAAAAAH!!!

JIM:  The alarms must be real upset over something.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
>

CROW:  Nike treads.

>Robotropolis
>
>Sally and Rotor are in a hoverunit being chased by stealth bots! They 
>drive thru an alley! KABOW POW POW laser fire and grabage can exploding 
>all around!

JIM:  I'm surprised Robotropolis even *has* garbage cans with the "disrespect nature" attitude.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO:  Enjoy our decreasing and increasing number of roadway cones, for the home or office!

>
>Prison cells

CROW:  This fanfic has more editing than Devil Fish!
SERVO:  Too bad the coast guard isn't in this, they could really help out.

>
>SWAT bots storm the area! But Sonic pulls out a power ring!

JIM: From where?  His butt?

>"DRRRROOONNNEEE" go the bots "MUST KILL SONIC, MUST KILL SONIC"

SERVO:  Sonic'll download Windows 98 into their systems in the blink of an eye and watch the fun.

>The bots attack! Sonic flashes in a beam of light and he's SUPER 
>SONIC!!!!

ALL:  But he needs 49 more rings and 7 chaos emeralds!!!

>Sonic fights SWAT bots!
>FYOOO!
>ROP!
>CORK!

SERVO:  "Cork"?

>WARG!

CROW:  Son of Morg!

>DRROOONNNE!
>ZAP ZAP DIDDy!
>MOP!

SERVO:  Oh, I get it, Sonic's "mopping" the floor with them!  Hee, hee.
JIM:  Bridge on the River..what?

>KWAI!

JIM:  Thank you.

>32 SKIDOO!

CROW:  My friend has only 28.  How can you have that many snowmobiles?

>BANG BANG BANG BANG!
>BA-ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
>SKREEE!

JIM:  We're in the world of BATMAN!
'BOTS:  Dadadadadadadada BATMAN!!!

>ow
>WOOOOOOAAAAAH!
>BOOOMITY!

SERVO:  Is this the internet IM of Sonic and Sally's cybersex?

>The electric cable sparks! SPAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRKKKKK!!!!! Bots gewt hit by 
>sparks and die!

JIM:  But technicaly they were never alive to begin with.

>The bars to the cells go down! Bob kicks the SWAT bot that had his 
>shotgun! 

CROW:  Great, instead of lazer pistols they use six-shooters, huh?

>Tails kung-fus bots! Bunnie beats bots!
>"Fock ye!" says Bob, blasting bots.

JIM[singing]:  People say I fockye around!
SERVO:  PLEASE, JIM!
JIM:  Sorry.

>WAAIIIII SSSPPPEAAKKKK WOOOOOOOOH!
>says Tails, kicking bots

SERVO:  Tails said that?  I thought it was the squeaking of the robots' joints.

>Bunnie jump kicks a bot but another bot jump kicks Bunnie! 

ALL[singing]:  Isn't it ironic?

>Bunnie falls 
>down!
>"Ah get knocked down, but ah get up again!" says Bunnie. Bunnie gets up 
>again and fights mor bots!

JIM:  STOP THE INSANITY!!!!  AAARRRRRGGGHH!

>900 bots walk into the room, single file. 

SERVO:  Ever heard of "attack in force"?

>Sonic revs up his spin dash.
>Bots say "WE KILL SONIC, PRIORITY 1"
>Sonic spin dashes the bots, killing them all.
>"Y'all killed the bots!" says Bunnie

JIM:  WHERE'S THE OUTRAGE???!!!
SERVO:  Jim, you okay?

>JUST THEN TANK BOT IV DRIVES THROUGH THE WALL AND RUNS OVER SONIC!

JIM:  ON THE DEATH EGG???  AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

>Tails kicks the bot! No use, the bot fires a missle at Tails!
>"This is the baddest TANK BOT yet!" says sonic.
>Dr. Quack pulls a wire out of tank bot. TANK BOT IV falls over and dies!

SERVO:  Wow!  What a daring way to stop the "baddest TANK BOT yet!"

>"Nice work Dr" says Sonic
>"Now let's JUCIE TIME" says Quack

JIM:  DOCTOR QUACK SAID THAT???  AAAAAAAAAAAK!
CROW:  Let's beat it.
SERVO:  Okay.

>"First I need a chili dog" says Sonic. He fills up his backpack with 
>chili dogs from the vending machine.
>

JIM:  A VENDING MACHINE ON THE DEATH EGG???
[Jim colapses on the floor.  Servo and Crow leave the theater]

[commercials]

[SOL int.]  Servo, Crow, and Gypsy are behind the counter.

GYPSY:  Hey guys!  How are you?
SERVO:  Feeling terrible.
CROW:  Yeah.  Jim's fainted in the theater.
GYPSY:  What?!
SERVO:  He's still in there, sprawled across three theater seats.
GYPSY:  We've got to help him! [rushes through door number seven, which closes after her]
SERVO:  Hey, how come we never go that way?
CROW:  I don't know.

-mads' sign-

SERVO:  Uh, we can't hit the button.
CROW:  Cambot, can you fall on the button, please?
CAMBOT:  Fine, it's not enough I have to actualy film you guys watching a movie, I have to do
your dirty work, too.

[The camera moves closer to the counter, then falls down fast.  The screen goes snowy]

[CF]  Pearl, Observer, and Bobo have made a confusing flow chart on a dry-erase marker board.
It's filled with arrows, boxes, and scrambled words.

PEARL:  No, no... I think the Death Egg is actualy a warehouse somewhere in Robotropolis, not
some big foating fortress... and look!  The Great Forrest is spelled "knoyhole forest"!
OBSERVER:  Maybe if I put in the fact that Tails and Uncle Bob say "fock" every three lines may give us
something to go on...
BOBO:  Maybe if we put Frank Sinatra in the TV studio...
PEARL:  How about Evil Doctor Quack?  [takes red marker and draws a line from what looks like Robotnik's
headquarters to the Great Forrest]
BOBO:  Let's see...I know!  The chili-dog vending machine!  That may be the missing peice!
OBSERVER:  No, no!  We need to put Tank Bot IV here! [draws a big black dot]
PEARL:  But what about Sonic's hut?  [scribbles lines in the Great Forrest]
BOBO:  How about the golf store that sells golf carts?
OBSERVER:  And the food court!
PEARL:  Here, I'll draw a way past cool cake.  [makes a bad drawing of a cake at the bottom near
the words "Mobius Mall".

[SOL]  Camera is fuzzy.

SERVO:  Looks like we're more sane than them from this, at least.

[camera picture clears.  Gypsy, pushing Jim, enters through door 7]

GYPSY:  Okay, I got him.

-movie sign-

CROW:  Put him back in the theater, Gyps!  It's FANFIC SIIIIGN!!!
GYPSY:  SCREW YOU ALL!  [falls over]
JIM:  Ow!

6...5...4...3...2...1...

[Jim, Servo, and Crow enter]

>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM:  Stalagtites!
SERVO:  No, stalagmites!

>
>Robotropolis
>
>ACTION-PACKED, EXCITING, EXPLOSIVE, HOVER-UNIT CHASE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

CROW:  Is this a preview of coming attractions or something?

>Sally is driving the hover unit, Rotor throws a donut at the pusuing 
>hover-bikes!

JIM:  It's the Mos Isley stage in Shadows of the Empire!

>"look out SALKY!" says Rootir.

SERVO:  The hell?
JIM:  It's time for another host segment.
CROW:  No, Jim.

>CRASH!!! The hovrunit flys right through a SWAT-House!

CROW[as SWAT wife]:  Honey!  What the hell are you doing crashing through my newly-cleaned house?

>"EEEEK" drones the bot in the shower. Then it rusts from being in the 
>shower.

SERVO:  Then why was it in the shower to begin with?!?

>KABOOW FLUSH, THE hoverunit goes down the toilet!

JIM:  So a toilet is a black hole, shrinking everything to swallowable size?
SERVO:  Sure, Jim, I have proof.

>IT's in the sewer tunnels now, being chased by SWAT boats! SWAT boats 
>jump in the air, TOO HIGH, it's hit the ceiling and blow up!

CROW:  Third person insane singular, right?

>Justy then a SWAT bot shoos a missle at the hovrunit KABBBBOOOOOMMM! 
>Sally and Rotor bail out SPLASH!!!!!

SERVO[as Ryder]:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  [jumps off and rolls across the floor]

>Rotor swims!
>"Arg" says Sally "I am droning ahhhhhhh glup glib!"

CROW:  I'll say.  SHUT UP!

>SWAT boys are closing in!

JIM:  Then the Beagle Bots will show up...

>Jus then the sewer lid above them opens. SONIC AND THE GANG!

SERVO:  Oh, fack, they survived!

>"Attention ye!" says Bob "GRab onto the shotgun" bob lowers down the 
>shotgun.

CROW:  Just shoot the stupid SWATS!

>Sally grabs on, Rotor grabs on! 

JIM[as Sally]:  Don't get any ideas.

>The SWAT bots miss them by half a inch! 

SERVO:  Would it be considered wrong to just have them killed?

>Then the SWAT bots drive over the edge of a waterfall!

ALL:  WHAT??!!
CROW:  They're in the sewer!
SERVO:  Above a manhole!
JIM:  They're not at the edge of a sewer pipe!

>"AHHHHH" drone the bots.
>"Phew 

CROW[as Sally]:  Did you let one?  Oh, it's the sewer.

>we made it" says Sally

JIM:  When I say

>BOOM BOOM BOOM

JIM:  you say "BAM BAM BAM",
CROW:  No pause in between,
SERVO:  Come on, let's JAM!

>A HUUUGE SHADOW APPEARS OVER HEAD!

SERVO:  Oh, no!  Rosanne!

>"Hmmm" says Sonic "I think tubbo-chub is here"

SERVO:  So it *is* Rosanne!

>Sure enough, Dr. Robotnik was behind the freeddom fighters.

SERVO:  Oh, so I was wrong.

>"Good guess" said Tails.

SERVO:  Why thank you, HEY!
JIM:  Give it a rest, Servo.

>Just then GHrounder and Scratch show up.
>Snivley jumps out and scrweams "WAAAHHHHH HAAAIIII!!!!" 

CROW:  He's a black belt...?

>thus initiating 

JIM:  a crappy fight scene.

>the fight scene.
>SAlly fights Snivley BOOM BOOM BOOM!

SERVO:  But it's supposed to be Sonic Fights Robotnik!

>Rotor fights Grounder "Huh huh ow"

SERVO:  Sonic Fights Robotnik!

>Bunnie fights Scratch "Heh heh this is cool"

SERVO: SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK!!!

>Sonic fights
>yeah
>you guessed it
>SoNIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK

SERVO:  Finaly!  The title premise pays off!

>"6" says Scratch
>Tails fights robotnik too, as does Bob.

JIM:  Now hang on!
SERVO:  Jim, you should know that Robotnik is too much man for Sonic alone!

>Sonic spin dashes at Robotnik spinnnnnn zooooM OW!
>"HAI KARATE!" yells Tails.
>"Hye ding dong day!" says Bob

CROW[Minnessota]:  Isn't this just a darling fanfic, Ethel?
SERVO[Minnessota]:  Oh, yes it is, don't 'ya know?

>Shotgun shells, Laser fire, ACTION!
>Grounder is defeated! Scratch is defeated!

JIM:  Like that's a big acomplishment.

>But then, Sonic gets shot by robotnik, but not shot dead.

ALL:  WHY THE HELL NOT?!?

>The freedom fighters are surrounded!
>"Ha ha ha" says Robotnik "ATEENTION ROBO-BRIGATE! FORWARD MARCH!"

JIM:  Robotnik switched over to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade directing?

>100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 
>SWAT bots surround the freedom fighters

SERVO:  Knowing Sonic, he'll defeat them with a pop gun.

>"We are finished!" said Sonic

CROW:  Sonic finaly catches on.

>"Darn tootin'" says Robotnik.

JIM:  Huh?

>Just when things looked their bleekest, one SWAT bot falls over, causing 
>a domino effect that makes all the other bots fall over! 

CROW:  WHAT!!!
JIM:  Come on!
SERVO:  What a crappy plot contrivance!
JIM:  Couldn't you please just KILL THEM???

>Sonic and 
>friends escape!
>"Oh well" says Robotnik "We'll get them next time"

JIM:  No!  A sequel!!!
'BOTS:  AAAAAAARRRRGGGH!

>Then Snivley climbs out of a dumpster "You bloody idiot!" he says
>"I told you time and time again you've got to upgrade the fricking 
>artificial intelligence chips in those bots! But NOOOOOOO lets go get 
>sonic, sure with 100000000000000000000000000 bots it'll be easy 
>ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!! And why don't you RUST PROOF THEM?? HUH 
>MAN!?!?!??!?!" says the Sniv.

CROW:  Hey, he's doing our work for us!

>"Well I would but the Robotnik show is taking up most of our budget." 
>says Robotnik "Those parking lot cams aren't cheap you know"


SERVO[as Robotnik]:  I'm a greedy TV-loving lump of lard who thinks with his stomach.

>"ARRRGAGARRRRRRRR!!!" says Snivley, kicking himself in the head.

JIM:  Man, if you can do that you could be considered an Olympic competitor.

>"But we CAN upgrade our fighting force!" says Robotonik "Let's rebuild 
>Packbell! That will be fun! 

CROW[as Robotnik]:  Especialy if we put the Intel Pentium II Processor in him this time!
JIM[Intel theme]:  Ding ding dong ding!

>HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHZHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"

SERVO:  Hey!  He misspelled the easiest scentence in the fic!

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM:  And one more time!
ALL:  THIS WAY TO HEAVEN!
SERVO:  That wasn't so bad after all!
JIM:  Come on, we've got to go!

[All leave the theater]

>
>Knothole

[All re-enter]

JIM:  I don't bileve this!
SERVO:  I wanna go-ho-ho!
CROW:  Please have mercy!

>
>"Hey what is Dr. Quack doing here" says Sally
>"He is a good guy now" says Sonic
>"ok" says Sally

JIM:  We have to trust him completely so he can betray us later in Endgame.

>"OH NO MY HUT!" says SOnic

SERVO:  Hasn't he gotten past that?

>Sonic walks to his hut. "Hey the fridge is still here" says Sonic. He 
>takes out a mountain due and drinks it.

CROW:  Five sequels and he *still* can't spell it right.

>"Ah, refreshing" says Sonic "Oh yeah, I suppose I should mention..."

JIM[as Sonic, anouncing]:  Mountain Due is very refreshing.

>Sonic tells everbody about the master emerald.

JIM:  Which had absolutely no help with the fanfic.

>"So that's where you were!" says Tails
>JUST THEN A SWAT MISSLE BLOWS UP THE KOSHER DELI!

CROW:  No!  Not our only source of salad accessories and condiments!

>"Oh no!" says Tails "Uncle Rabbi!"
>

SERVO:  What's a rabbi doing working at a Kosher Deli?
CROW:  And how many uncles does Tails have, anyway?

>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM:  An all-terrain unicycle has been through here...
SERVO:  We're just running the jokes through again.

>
>Rabbi Prower's funeral
>
>"He was a good fox" said Sally "A religious fox, and most of all, our 
>friend fox"

SERVO[as Sally]:  But he's owned by another company and billions of light years away, so why are we worried about
McCloud?

>"Amen" said Rotor
>Chris Pettrucii sings a few metallica songs. Then they bury the Rabbi.

JIM:  So no funeral music, just some *ROCK*?
CROW:  Yeah.

>"waaah" said Tails (sad)
>"Yo it cool to cry at funrals tails it help cope the loss and stuff" says 

SERVO:  Mobie the mono-sylabic cave bear.

>Sonic comforting tails
>Then sonic gives an inspring speech "Let's get those chaos emeralds. FOR 
>RABBI PROWERS SAKE!"

JIM:  Why chaos emeralds?

>"Yaaay" says the crowd.
>"Aye LET'S GIT 'UM!" says Bob, loading his shotgun.
>

SERVO[as Bob]:  We all's gona go emerald huntin!

>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO:  The shortest one yet!

>
>5 minutes later, knothole defense coordinations
>
>Sonic spins around in a chair "WHEEEEEE!"
>Tails swings on a lighting fixture "WOOOHOOOO!"

JIM:  Ah, hilarious pre-war antics!

>"Order order!" says Sally
>"I want a cheeseburger" says Sonic (joke)

SERVO[sarcastic]:  Thanks for letting us know that.

>"I'll have a large coffee" says Rotor

CROW:  Can Uncle Bob shoot me?
JIM:  Anything's possible.

[Uncle Bob walks in, shoots Crow and leaves]

CROW:  I didn't mean it!
JIM:  Don't play jokes with a self-insertionist.

>"Now get serious about this let's find the emneralds" says Sally

SERVO[as Sally]:  Let's talk in running scentences to fool the reader I'm going to leave.

>"OK" says everbody
>"zoogy" says Antoinne

SERVO:  "Zoogy?"  Even Antoine wouldn't say "Zoogy"!

>"Wher are the chaos emeralds" says Sally

JIM:  A highly efective way of finding them.  Just ask around!

>"Uhhhhh Knuckles has some" says Sonic

CROW:  And why do you think that is, hmm?

>"LEt's go to the floting istland and get them!" says Sally

SERVO[as Sally]:  But first help me get my scentences straight!

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM:  It's back and it's longer then ever!  The new 1998 zig-zag!

>
>Robotropile

CROW:  Now that's just pathetic.

>
>"Doo  doo doo, buildin' a robot!" sings Roboytnik
>Robotnik slaps some robo parts togetther. Snivley throws grounder and 
>scratch in the garbage.

ALL:  Yaaay!

>FInally, robotnik is finished. He flips the switch, hits the button and 
>turns the dial.

SERVO[as radio]:  And now, the Del Airs!

>"Yawn, oh hello there" says Packbell
>"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" says Robotnik
>"Uh sir, there were some parts left over so I made a bot too" says 
>Snivley

JIM[as Snively]:  It's called the Wuss-Mac 2000.

>"Cool man!" says Robotnik
>Snivleys bot is a monkey. It gets up
>"HI i am COCONUTS!" says the bot "WOOOO HAAAA! IT'S DISCO TIME!!!!!"

CROW:  I wanna DIE!  Waaaah!
JIM:  Really?  [Begins to snap his fingers]
CROW:  NO!  NO!  I was kidding!

>bow-chicka-bow-chicka-womp-wow
>Robotnik and snivley and packbell disco, the siren on coconuts head acts 
>as a disco light.

JIM:  Meanwhile the Freedom Figters sneak in, steal Robotnik's Darth Vader coffee mug and return to
Knothole triumphantly!

>
>/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

CROW[as Natile from Werewolf]:  That's skooed up!

>
>The Floting Island
>
>Sonic walks up to Knuckels house and rings the doorbell. Knucles walks to 
>the door.
>"Hey mon, what up?" says Knuckles.

JIM:  Okay, stop the fanfic!  Everyone go back to their regular accents!

>"Hi we need to borrow the chaos emeralds" says Sonic
>"Ok mon" says Knuckles "I'll go get them"

SERVO[as Gesture Proffessor]:  As he does this the Floating Island falls down, down, down,
CROW:  SERVO!
SERVO:  Sorry.

>Just then robotnik and forces attack
>"WO-HA!" says Packbell
>"Mooga meek moo!" says Tails

JIM:  They're the only ones fighting?

>NINJA FIGHTS
>WAI HEE SPAK!
>In the middle of the fight robotnik and the robo-brigade attack.

SERVO:  But that would *begin* the fight, wouldn't it?

>BOOM BOOM the run!

CROW:  The 20-yard dash!

>they run away!
>SOnic runs!
>Then a huge ship shoots the floting islaland with a huge lazer. KABOOOOM!

JIM:  The Death Egg, finaly!

>The island faLLS out of the sky!
>"We are going down mon" says Knuckles

SERVO[as Knuckles]:  Heavy.  GET IT???  Hahaha!

>Then Ken Penders pushes Sally off the edge of the island!

ALL:  We love you, Ken Penders!

>"AHh!" says Sal
>"no" says Sonic
>They jump off the island, SOnic has the 3 emneralds!
>KABOM! THE ISLAND HITS THE GROUND AND BLOWS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SERVO:  Unless I miss my guess, the Island should just break up.

>Then they see Ken Penders!

JIM:  But the island's blown up!

>"HA HA HA!" says the evil Ken "I have captured Sally! You will have tro 
>come to my fortress of evil to save the princess!"
>"LETS JAM!" says SOnic

JIM:  Sonic Jam, for your PC console.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO:  Sonic steps on this part of the rake and hits his nose!

>
>The Fortress of evil
>
>Dark Passge.

CROW:  "Rights of Passage" and "Dark Vengance", two Knuckles stories combined in one!

>"EEEP" says Antoinne
>"Dont be a scardy" says Sonic

JIM[as Antoine]:  I can't help it, I'm the comic relief!

>They walk into a room, traps and robo-soldiers, very action packed 
>battle.

CROW:  Very descriptive battle, too.

>They see ken penders atop his throne of comics

SERVO:  Look, Ken, just because you write the stories doen't make you king of the Sonic unvierse...
oh, wait...

>Sonic and Ken sword fight!
>THE FINAL BATTLE BETWEEN SONIC AND KEN PENDERS IS TAKING PLACE!

CROW:  Sparing us the sequel "Sonic Fights Ken Penders", SONIC FAN gives it to us now.

>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Touche!" says Ken
>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Yo yo" says Sonic

SERVO:  Odd choice for a weapon.

>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Ha ha!" says Ken
>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG

JIM:  And now, the Sonic Cheerleaders!

>"Go sonic!" says Tails
>Sonic slices Ken in half, but Ken explodes in a blast of light. POOF!
>"Hooray!" says ROtor, Sally, bob.
>"Hmmm Ken where'd you learn to sword fight, the sword fight of loser 
>  school?" says Sonic

SERVO:  Huh.

>  "hahaah" laugh the crowd
>  "Look at what I found!" says Tails
>  "A chaos emerald, cool!" says Sonic

JIM:  Uh...okay.

>  
>  /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
>  

CROW:  I'm leaving.
SERVO:  I second the motion.
JIM:  Agreed, then?  Meeting adjourned.

[all exit]
[commercials]

[SOL int.]  Jim, Servo and Crow are behind the counter.  Splayed across the counter are Sonic comics.

JIM:  Okay, Servo, it's time for your Sonic Fights _______ project.
SERVO:  Alright, Jim.  [Jim holds up a comic with Sonic fighting Spawn]  I had Sonic Fights Spawn.
Since it's an inevitability in the Archie series, I figure why not?
JIM:  Sounds cool.  Who wins?
SERVO:  [pause]
JIM:  Servo, who wins?
SERVO:  Uh...I was supposed to actualy *write* a story, wasn't I?
JIM:  Yep, that's the whole point of the project.
SERVO:  Okay, then... Speed wins.
JIM:  Who?
SERVO:  Speed Racer.
JIM:  But it's Sonic Fights *Spawn*.
SERVO:  Oh, right.  [pause]  Speedy Alka Seltzer.
JIM:  Servo, Sonic Fights *SPAWN*.
SERVO:  Um... Keanu Reeves from Speed.
JIM:  Crow, what's your Sonic Fights _______ comic?
CROW:  I made Sonic Fights Robotnik!
JIM:  But that's what we're reading.
CROW:  Exactly!  So, in a sense, my project is already done for me!
JIM:  Okay, look you guys...

-movie sign-

JIM:  Oh, forget it!
SERVO and CROW:  FANFIC SIIIIGN!

6...5...4...3...2...1...

[All re-enter]

SERVO:  Speedy Gonzalez wins!
JIM:  Alright, enough!

>  Knotohoel kvilioge

CROW:  I'm seriously begining to wonder about the condition of his typing skills.

>  
>  Just as they arrive at knothole it is under attack!
>  "What?" says Quack
>  "Ha hah ha!" says Robotnik "You think you fooled me?"
>  "Yes" says Quack

JIM:  You can't fool him!  It's not alowed!

>  "Well you didn't!" says Robotnik "I didn't need to find oput where those 
>  missles were firing too! I attacked Kntohole in the first story!"


SERVO[realizing, sarcasticaly]:  That's riiiight!

>  " http://members.xoom.com/SONIC_FAN/ " plugs Tails

JIM[as Tails]:  Don't ever stick my tails in the sockets again!

>  ROBOBRIGADE ATTACKS
>  OOOM!
>  ROP!

CROW:  The failed fusion of rap and rock.

>  FIGGY UIGGY!

JIM:  I don't even wanna know the inspiration for *this* sound effect.

>  BOOM BOOM
>  SOIN
>  "YOU SOINIC!"

SERVO[as voice, gangsta']:  You owe me big time you moise!  Yo, Soinic!

>  FGRA!
>  JFKSALDJ!
>  GERRRR!

CROW:  Now come on, these are typing exerscises!

>  2 PIE!
>  HOK NOB!
>  AOU AEEEUIIRII!
>  NEE NI NI NI NI!!!!!!

JIM:  Now they're going to go get a shrubery come back and fight with it...

>  WOI WOI!
>  8327!

SERVO:  Go, Species 8327!  You took the Borg down!  You can take them down!  Go!

>  ONE BILLION!

JIM:  Can we please be able to forget about that little event from SFR1?

>  BAM
>  KRASH
>  BANG
>  BOOM

CROW:  And now back to the real sfx.

>  "Urg what happened" said Unconciuos Sonic

JIM:  A brand new Sonic ability!

>  "Knothole is in Ruins!" says Sally

SERVO:  And where's that?
CROW:  Doing!

>  "NOOOOO!" says the crowd

ALL:  "YAAAAY!" says us

>  They weep for the loss of the villiage.
>  "WOAH SONIC!" yells Tails
>  "Wha?" says Sonic
>  "I JUST THOUGHT OF WHERE THE OTHER CHAOS EMERALDS ARE!" says Tails (loud)

SERVO[as Tails]:  How convenient of me to remember where they are right *after* we needed them!

>  "Woh, talk down lil bro!" says Sonic
>  "Remember when Bunnie was in the crystal mine and said heck all yall some 
>  of em arent even cystals at all!" says Tails
>  "Ya" says Sonic "So wha?"

JIM[as Tails]:  That means that Bunnie shoud be taken to a mental hospital!

>  "Well she meant that some of em were potato chips! And Robotnik has a 
>  machine that sounds like potato chips, it's the chaos emerald finder!"

CROW:  A statement that cannot be reckoned with.

>  "WE GOTTA FIGHT THE CRYSTAL MINE!" said Sonic

JIM:  That'll be hard, cuz mines can't fight.

>  Then Sonic said "It is....JAMMA WAMMA BAMMA HOP SAMMA LAMMA KAMMAM GAMMA 
>  HAM N CHEESE WITH A PICKLE ON THE SIDE LARGE ORDER OF FRIES EATIN SOME 
>  PIES BOT SLAMMIN SOT BLAMMIN WORT CORT JUUUUUIIICCEEEEE 
>  TIIIMMMMMEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>  !!"

SERVO:  I'm losing mental integrity.  Total anihilation of sanity is 40% complete.

>  They juice. Everybody in knothole goes to the 

CROW:  Orange grove of Tropicana.

>FINAL FIGHT!
>  
>  /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM:  Remember to indent your fence when starting along a sidewalk.

>  
>  The Robotik Crystal Mine
>  

SERVO:  Then wouldn't it be "robotic"?

>  The freedom fighters arrive at the mine.
>  They are greeted by....

SERVO:  Janet Reno, who is having the government tear the mine down.

>  THE BIGGEST BOT IN THE WORLD
>  "Oh no the biggest bot in the world has been rebuilt!" says Sally
>  "Let's fight it!" says Sonic

CROW:  BLAST IT!

>  THe bot attacks!
>  "Beeeeg bot! zes is beeeeg bot!" says Antoinne

JIM:  And you steeeeeeeupid person!

>  Sonic and Sally kill the bot

SERVO:  Technicaly you can't kill a bot.
CROW:  Impressive fight time for the fight against the BIGGEST BOT IN THE WORLD.

>  YAAAAHHHH WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>  They go into the mine. They are in a huge room of crystal. 

JIM:  Plurals, SONIC FAN?

>Just then
>  ....

CROW:  The cave colapses, burying the entire Freedom Fighter resistance!

>  ROBOTNIK!
>  And EVERY SINGLE ROBOT ON MOBIUS HAS COME TO FIGHT!

SERVO:  Including the BIGGEST BOT IN THE WORLD, which has been rebuilt again.

>  "HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" sais 
>  Robotnik "I have the crystals you're looking for! HHAHAHHAH you'll never 
>  get them from me HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!!! I'll 
>  DESTROY YOU NOW HEDGEHOG! 
>  AGHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!"

SERVO:  Can he at least be creative with his laughter?

>  Snivley jumps out! Packbell jumps out!

JIM:  I probably shouldn't ask from where.

>  Robotnik gets into the SUPER-MEGA MECH WALKER!

ALL:  SUPER-MEGA TEXAS MECH RANGER!

>  THE BATTLE BEGINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>  AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
>  IT's bot fighting time!!!!! WHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAA!!!
>  Dulcy fireballs bots! 

CROW:  Hey!  Dulcy finaly gets some time in this fic!

>  Sonic spin dashes bots! Tails kung-fus bots! And 
>  everybody else fights bots left right and center!
>  The ARMY bots attack bunnie! Bunnie crusches them GAGRGAGRGAGAA!!!

SERVO:  Arent' those COM-BOTs?
CROW:  Fanboy!
SERVO:  There's a phrase I haven't heard in a while.

>  Snivley attacks sonic with 2 uzis! 

JIM:  Sure.

>  But sonic is jumpin and spinnin you 
>  can't even see where hes goin he so FAST!!!!!!!!
>  ratatatatatattatattatata!

JIM:  You don't say.

>  Bob fires the Shotgun! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

SERVO:  Quick firing time for a shotgun.

>  Tails looks at Packbell. They get into battle stance.
>  (The Mortal Kombat Song plays)
>  (doo doo doo dee doo doo doo doo dee doo doo doo dee dee doo doo..doo dee 
>  doo dee doo doo do doo doo de doo dee doo doo -  MORATAL 
>  KOMBAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

CROW:  Please, this was in Blood and Metal!

>  "WAIIII!" says Tails
>  "HOOOIIIIII CHOUUUU!!!!" says Packbell
>  FLYIN SPIN KICK KRAK ABOOOM!
>  Tails does a "HA-DOO-KEN!!!!!!!!!!!"

JIM:  Ah, the yell for the imortal Ken Penders.

>  Packbell dodges and spin-kick "HAITASSHMARUTSUET!!!!!!!"
>  Tails "SHOYROUKEN! SHOYROUKEN!"
>  pAckbell got hit by the second shoyrouken! 

CROW:  No dictionary definition?  Well okay, I guess we could pretend to know what's going on.

>  Bolts and robot blood spray 

SERVO:  Just call it oil.

>  all over the place!
>  "Fock this!" says Packbell. He pulls out a rocket launcher and a flame 
>  thrower. FWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  KABBBBBOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!

JIM:  Therefore killing Tails.

>  "WWWWAAAAAGGHHHHEEEE-YO-YO!" says Tails. HE flys away!

SERVO:  Who flys away?  HE flys away!

>  Meanwhile the freedom fighters are fighting bots, bots fighting freedom 
>  fighters, sonic fighting bot-nik and Dr. Robotnik killing everything all 
>  over the place!

CROW:  But somehow missing all the main characters!

>  SMASH SMASH CRASH!
>  Robotnik stomps bots and freedom fighters under MIGHTY MECHANICAL FEET!
>  Just then hover units fly into the mine and fire down from above, 
>  complete chaos ensues.

JIM:  It's chaos over the chaos emeralds!

>  Bob fires the shotgun. CRACK CRACK CRACK!
>  Rotor walks over to a control panel and puts in a Greenday CD.

ALL[singing]:  I hope you have the fight of your liiiife...

>  Antoinne dodges bots while jamming to greenday!
>  "Walking Contradiction" plays
>  BOTS ARE FIGHTIUNG SONIC IS FIGHTING!

SERVO:  That's been established!

>  BOOOMMMM! Sally kicks down 20 bots!

CROW:  I'm too weak to contradict that.

>  Some SWAT bots are jamming to Greenday now!

JIM:  What a highly effective and origional strategy!

>  Rotor shoots down hoverunits with a rocket launcher THEY FALL TO THE 
>  GROUND!
>  "Look out Jackerey!" says Dulcy.
>  "Whu?" says Jackery Prower just before he is crushed by a falling hover-
>  unit.

SERVO:  Fine, just kill off the non-descript relative of a main character!  Learn from Ratliff!

>  JUST THEN COCONUTS FALLS INTO THE BATTLE
>  Coconuts says "Yo yo yo, don't dis mah funky fro"

CROW:  His "fro" consists of a light bulb.

>  A disco ball appears on the ceiling. The floor turns to a disco floor. 

JIM:  The crystals are melting to better acomidate the music.

>  EVERYBODY IS DISCO DANCIN!
>  Especially Coconuts!
>  Sonic kicks down Snivley!
>  "I beat you, and I beat you good, Snivley" says Sonic
>  "No *CHAOKE* arrrg *YOU HEDGEHOG* ugghhhhh" says Snivley

SERVO:  I'd like to just say something and get it off my chest... -ahem-  FOCK YOU, FANFIC!  YOU
LAME-ASS PIECE OF SHIT!!!  I'M GONNA GO UP THERE AND SHOVE FLAGPOLES UP YOUR-

[Jim grabbs Servo and stuffs him under the theater seat cushon.  Muffled screaming is heard.]

JIM:  Servo!  Get a hold of yourself!  You aren't thinking!
SERVO[muffled]:  Sorry, Jim, I just got carried away.

[Servo emerges from the seat]

>  Tails and Packbell get down to a funky disco beat!
>  SOnic FIGHTS ROBOTNIK!!!!!!!!!!!

CROW:  Why is that happening *here*?  This fanfic isn't "Sonic Fights Robotnik"!
JIM:  Crow, stop the sarcasm.  It's not helping.

>  KABOOM!! THE WALKER IS FIGHTING SONIC DOGEDS MISSLES!!!! 

JIM:  He learned English from those kids in "Prince of Space".
CROW[as kid]:  Sonic is fighting look at that rabbit eat I love Green Day.

>  ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
>  BANG BONG!!!!!!!!!

SERVO:  No!  They blew up Big Ben!

>  BOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!
>  SOnic Spinswaws WALKER LEG!!!!!!!! RIGHT THRU IT!!!!!
>  Robotnik says "NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"!!!!
>  REEE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!! Robotniks walker tips over 
>  Robotnik jumps out and strts shootin! HE ACCIDENTALY BLOWS UP 
>  COCONUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JIM:  Well, yup.
CROW:  I guess.

>  "YOOOOOoooooo" goes Coconuts
>  Rotor walks over to the control panel and puts in a CD. "What is Love" 
>  starts playing.

CROW:  Nobody better start bobbing their heads to this.

>  Robotnik and Snivley dance to the song!
>  Sonic kicks snivley down again!
>  All the bots and freedom fighters  are lying in a heap of metal on the 
>  floor. The only 2 left standing are SONIC AND ROBOTNIK!

JIM:  Alright, now maybe finaly we get the title fight!
CROW:  Yeah!
SERVO:  Go!  Go!  Go!

>  "ARRG!" goes sonic
>  "GRRR!" goes Robotnik
>  In a climactic battle, Sonic defeats robotnik!

ALL:  The hell!!!???
JIM:  We read *six* freakin' fanfics, go through all this trouble, spend our time to riff them
very nicely, and THE MAIN FIGHT IS OVER IN THREE LINES??????
SERVO:  AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! [head explodes]
JIM:  Ack!

>  "YES!" says SOnic "This is the most juicin' past cool moment of my entire 
>  life"

CROW:  Just wish we could have seen it!

>  Sonic takes the chaos emeralds from robotnik. He throws all the emeralds 
>  up into the air.
>  The emralds make a circle.

JIM:  Hold on, Servo, I think I can get you another head...

[Servo's globe appears on his head]

SERVO:  Freaky!

>  "ahhhhhh" sings the angelic choir
>  A white light eminates from the emeralds. A FLASH OF LIGHT! Everyone on 
>  mobius is derobotocized!

JIM:  And if they weren't roboticized, then they are now!
CROW:  D'oh!

>  But....
>  Robotnik shoots the master chaos emerald!

SERVO:  So he's *not* dead?!

>  "Yo buttnik why you do that?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!" says Sonic

ALL:  Because he's evil!  EVIIIIIL!

>  "BEcause I'm the bad guy HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA!!!!" says 
>  Robotnik
>  "You are a tub o' chub!" says SOnic
>  JUST THEN THE LIGHT TURNS TO BLACK!!!

JIM:  Then it wouldn't be light anymore.

>  THE CHAOS BEAST APPEARS!!!!

SERVO:  This fanfic has more plot twists than an entire season of Voyager!

>  it says:
>  ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
>  HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG
>  GGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
>  NNNNRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>  RRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CROW:  Somebody get him Immoduim AD!

>  "Hmmm maybe I shouldn't have done that" says Robotnik
>  The beast drills down the the core of the planet!
>  It reaches the core and......

JIM:  Mobius blows up?

>  KKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM
>  MMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>  MOBIUS EXPLODES, THEY ALL DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL:  Horay!
CROW:  Finaly, some payback!

>  
>  T H E   E N D
>  
>  /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
>  >>>>>>><<<<<<<<<
>  <<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>
>  {{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}
>  ((((((()))))))))
>  [[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]

JIM:  I'm soooo happy now!
SERVO:  I'm filled with more joy than Joyce Joy Joycee!
JIM:  Huh?
SERVO:  Forget it.

>  
>  CAST
>  ----
>  

CROW:  All losers!

>  Sally
>  "Here is the plan. We sneek into the death egg and blow it up."

JIM:  Briliant!

>  
>  Bunnie
>  "Heck all y'all some of em arent even crystals at all!"

SERVO[sarcastic]:  When did she say *this*??

>  
>  Tails
>  "FOCK YOU SALLY!!!" 

ALL:  Horay!
JIM:  The exact moment Tails became a man.

>  
>  Rotor
>  "WOOOOOBOOOGIE!!!! (sound of rotor falling through roof)"

SERVO:  Yuck!

>  
>  Antoinne
>  "Ah oui es ees STEEEEEENNNNNNKKKKKKKKAAAAYYYYYYY"

CROW:  Eep!

>  
>  Dulcy
>  "budda dont wanna do homework!"

JIM:  Ack!

>  
>  Uncle Chuck
>  "As y'aLl knows, Sonic fights Robotnik and fights him good."

ALL:  But we never got to see it!

>  
>  Bob Prower
>  "Fock ye!"

CROW:  I can see where Tails gets it from.

>  
>  Rabbi Prower
>  "Now either buy something or get the fock out of my deli"

JIM:  This almost makes me want some pickles.
CROW:  Really.

>  
>  Dr. Robotnik
>  "Doo doo doo doo doo IT'S THE ROBOTNIK SHOW!"

ALL[bland]:  Horay.

>  
>  Snivley
>  "what a fat"

SERVO:  A fat what?

>  
>  Packbell
>  "oog"

JIM:  Huh.

>  
>  SWAT bots
>  "DRRRRROOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNEEE"

CROW:  They had the easiest lines.

>  
>  TANK bot
>  "BEEP BEEP KILL FREEDOM FIGHTERS ARRR BEEP BEEP BEEP"

JIM:  Yup.  Windows 98.

>  
>  Vision, LORD OF PEZ
>  "What did you call me you want to fight me blueboy wimphog"

CROW:  And what was Sonic's quest all about, anyway?
JIM:  No one knows.
SERVO:  No one cares.

>  
>  Chis Pettruci
>  "SONIC! SUPER SONIC! he is the hero of our day"

SERVO:  Walt Whitman and Frank Sinatra are gonna be shown saying something really stupid.

>  
>  Geoffry St. John
>  "Oh well look at this. If it isn't the villige buffooon."

CROW:  So?  He says that all the time.

>  
>  Grounder
>  "Ow! huh huh!"

SERVO[as Beavis]:  Hey!  Heh, heh, gimme some of that weed!  Heh, heh!

>  
>  Scratch
>  "Heh heheh hehhe nhehehh nehehehehehheheh hneheheneheh ummm yeah"

JIM:  He's named after the drug he's on.

>  
>  Dr. Quack
>  "QUAAKAKK QUAAACKK QUAAAAAAAACK HA HA QUACK!"

SERVO:  Can we please kill him?

>  
>  Coconuts
>  "Yo yo yo, don't dis mah funky fro"

CROW:  We can't because you don't have one.

>  
>  Ken Penders
>  "i hate sonic because i draw his comics."

JIM:  Then don't draw his comics!

>  
>  Frank Sinatra
>  "Dooby dooby doo doo dooby dooby dooo"

SERVO:  You don't say.


>  
>  Robo-Prower
>  "heh heh that's right in there....*DRONE*....er i  mean..."

CROW:  Surprisingly, no one noticed that.

>  
>  Jackerey Prower
>  "Help me, I am in danger!"

SERVO:  ...Will Robinson!

>  
>  and....
>  
>  Sonic the Hedgehog!
>  "It's ORANGE BANNANA WHAM BAM SLAM FLAM BING BHAM BOOM BOOM BOOGALOO 
>  ROCKEM SOCKEM ROLLY POLY WHAK DANG DING DANg WALLA WALLA JUICE TIME!!!!"

ALL[bland]:  Yaaaaay.

>  
>  
>  CREDITS
>  -------
>  
>  Story..........SONIC FAN
>  
>  Original Music......SONIC FAN
>  

JIM:  What music?

>  Director...........SONIC FAN
>  
>  Producer...........SONIC FAN
>  
>  Special Thanks to:
>  
>  All the fanfic authros whose characters appeared in this sotry
>  

SERVO:  No thanks to: David Gonterman, Ken Penders, Stephen Ratliff...
CROW:  Servo, Ratliff does Star Trek.
SERVO:  ...right.

>  Archie and SEGA
>  
>  and THE READER!
>  

ALL:  You're never welcome!

>  -------------------
>  
>  Uncle Chuck says
>  

SERVO[as Chuck]:  Here, son, have some speed!

>  "Thanks for readin this here story! See y'all later!"
>  
>  Frank Sinatra sings
>  
>  "It's the end...of this stoooory.....so goooodbye....and so-
>  long.....GOOOOOODBYYYEEEEEE MOOBIUSSSS!!! Oh JUUUUICY JAMMIN 
>  GOOOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!! It's THEEE EEENNNNNDDDD!"

JIM:  Say, Walt Whitman wasn't in the credits!

[all leave]

1...2...3...4...5...6...

[SOL int.]  Jim and them are on the bridge.

JIM:  So how do you like that?  The main fight lasts only three seconds!
SERVO:  That sure is a pain in the aspahalt.
CROW:  But at least the story wasn't longer.
JIM:  Yeah, there is that one good point...

-Mads' sign-

JIM:  Hey, Chaos Pearl is calling.

[Castle Forrester]  Pearl rises up to the screen holding Mike Nelson's head by the hair.

PEARL:  Look who *I* found!
MIKE:  Hey, guys.  I got a job at Torgo's Pizza and came here to deliver a couple anchovy pizzas to
Bobo, and they caught me again.
PEARL:  Brainiac!  Send him up! [pop] [Mike disappears and Jim appears in his place]
JIM:  Oh, hi.  If you don't mind, I'll just be going now...

[Bobo and Observer grab him]

PEARL:  Not so fast, Jimmy boy!  I'm going to keep you here for a long, long time.  Take him to the
dungeon!
OBSERVER:  Uh, Pearl, we don't have a dungeon.
PEARL:  What!?!  What kind of castle doesn't have a dungeon?!?
OBSERVER:  This is a fairly *old* castle...
PEARL:  Well... make a dungeon and then put him in it!
OBSERVER:  Right!

[Bobo and Observer carry Jim off]

JIM:  No!  No!  Noooooooo!!!
PEARL:  Alright, Nelson!  I'm sending you a real good homecoming present!  It's called "Sonic Fights
Robotnik 6: The Final Battle!"  Enjoy!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[fade to black]

'BOTS:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[love theme]

written by:  Jim Whaley
co-written by:  Brian Feulner
"Sonic Fights Robotnik 6: The Final Battle!" written by:  SONIC FAN

featuring:
Jim Whaley:  James A. Whaley
Crow:  Bill Corbett
Tom Servo:  Kevin Murphy
Gypsy:  Patrick Brantseg
Magic Voice:  Beez McKeever

also featuring:
Pearl Forrester:  Mary Jo Pehl
Observer:  Bill Corbett
Professor Bobo:  Kevin Murphy

with:
voice of Cambot:  Michael J. Nelson

and:
Sonic
Sally
Tails
Nicole

and re-presenting:
Mike Nelson:  Michael J. Nelson

All MST3K characters and situations are trademarks of Best Brains, Inc.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original
copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

No insults are intended to anyone refered to in this MiSTing

MST3K created by:  Joel Hodgson

special thanks to:
Best Brains, Inc.
SONIC FAN
All you people who love to laugh

e-mail tjats@aol.com for comments, etc.

c1998 by Jim Whaley

[stinger]
>  In a climactic battle, Sonic defeats robotnik!

This has been a Mystery Usenet Theater 3000 production

-----------------

other episodes of Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000:

101:  The Cartoons Combined
102:  Off-Road Brawl
103:  The Odyssey
104:  The New Season
201:  Total Turbulence
202:  The Ultimate Celebrity Deathmatch
203:  Are You Ready to Get $40,000 in 6 Weeks with Only 8 Bucks???!!
204:  Sonic Fights Robotnik 6: The Final Battle!

All can be found easily on Web Site Number Nine,
located at http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k !