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August 2003

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Pictures taken during the Not In Our Name rally, October 6th, 2002, Central Park, NYC

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Just sick of the World...

I am so sick of living in this woeld.  I'm so sick of it, that if I weren't carrying a child
I would seriously consider commiting suicide.  This world has some seriouse problems, and being able to see them as clearly as I do, it's very difficult to deal with.  Is it so wrong to want what every other animal naturally has?

Is is so wrong to just want to be free, happy and healthy?  Why is it so wrong that ones own parent'swill turn their backs on you?  Should I really just get some lame job that I will slave at to barely survive and get absolutely nothing to show for it, while some war mongering, capitalist pig becomes even more rigch off of my skill as my precious life is wasting away?  Why?  Why should I have to do that?  Why should anyone?  Why can't we live as peacefully and happily as the rest of life on this planet?  I don't see monkeys commiting suicide in the jungle.  I've never heard of a bear get drunk and beat his wife and kids in the free forest.  I have never seen the need for money or oil of clothes in any other siciety but ours...  and I'm sick of it.  Why should I not be able to to spend every night sleeping next to my childs father?  Is it really so difficult to see a better life and just go for it? 

Money is the worst kind of drug.  Because everyone, from the moment they are born to the moment you die, is always trying to convince you that you need it for one thing or another.  If it wasn't forced on you, you wouldn't know about it, and wouldn't need it.  A Dollar?  Looks like just another piece of paper to me...  But no, money has become even thicker thatn bloor.  Some would sell their own child just for a few pieces of paper now a days.  Why?  We are so addicted to it we can't even fathom going off and being happy living for free.  Because even though we might have food and shelter we wouldn't have our BMW's or PlayStation II's  or even that cute new top at Macy's.  I just don't get it though, and I am really tired of it.  As much clothes as I have had in my life, none had ever made me happy.  No game, or car, or appartment has ever made me happy.  Because in this society, no matter how much we have, we always want more.  That is why money IS a drug. 

I do know what will make me happy now though.  Living freely with my baby and my husband.  Living off of nothing but the land, and knowing that my child doesn't need to worry about mommu or daddy going off to work and getting fired one day, because they are provided for by mother earth and god, not some rich fuck who couldn't give a shit about my family.  That's all I really want, and who ever thinks that it's too much to ask for can go fuck off and die miserably.  Those of you who are as sick as I am of this world are invited to join me on my adventure to Belize, where life can be free and filled with joy and health.

Alexandra Jadovski



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Published on: 2003-04-07 (32 reads)

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