Mike Nelson and Bill Corbett
Moderator: Bill, are you with us?
January 29, 1998
MJNelson: I am here, my
Moderator: Welcome! Any words of greetings for the
BCorbett: Mike is making some
snacks for us
BCorbett: Welcome MSTies across
MJNelson: I would like to welcome
everyone who is naked tonight. Also those who brought banana
BCorbett: And from that fine
country of Europe!
Moderator: <Sampo> to <Moderator>: Hi guys!
There have been a lot of rumors about season nine. What can you tell us
about the new season?
Moderator: Please send questions to Moderator - /msg
MJNelson: It's thicker. We use
tapioca as the thickener. Also there are new sets. It's fun!
BCorbett: I dress as a fey pale
guy a lot! It'sfun!
Moderator: <TServo> to <Moderator>: Could
there be a chance that you could do some anime in Season 9?
BCorbett: Not likely. I think
the idea of doing cartoons has been consideed and rejected before. By
those more powerful than myslef.
MJNelson: We plan to do a lot of
superviolent Japanamation. But that means i'll have to actually watch
it, so nevermind.
BCorbett: Madeline Albright that
Moderator: <Zaphod42> to <Moderator>: Why
did you change the movie for ep 905?
BCorbett: Madeline Albright,
again. Damn her!
MJNelson: Because it was
wet...wait, i don't understand the question.
Moderator: <Atrus> to <Moderator>:
"Bill, the last time you were here, you mentioned that it took some
getting used to Crow...how are things going now?"
* MJNelson getting an anvil
dropped on his shin. *
BCorbett: Crow seems to like me a
little more now. Though he can still be insufferably rude.
Moderator: <Paxton> to <Moderator>: Hi,
guys... I've been a fan since 1991, and I think the show has gone from
strength to strength. My prayers were answered when you did
"Horror of Party Beach" this past season. Was that a fun one
to write for?
BCorbett: Yeah! Until the
Del-aires left the movie in the middle.
MJNelson: H of PB was one of my
favorites. I actually loved the music in it, which tells you a lot about
BCorbett: Then it was just a lot
of bad actors in latex.
Moderator: <Delfin3000> to <Moderator>: Are
there going to be new characters for Season 9?
BCorbett: Yes. Tv's perrenial
kooky neighbor, Bill Daly.
BCorbett: Actually not per se.
MJNelson: There certainly will be
appearances by new characters, but as far as any long running things,
i'd say, prolly not.
Moderator: <invincor> to <Moderator>: Will
BBI officially celebrate the 10th anniversary in some way? And do you
count it as this year (the KTMA birthday) or next year (the national
BCorbett: You're stuck with us!
Ha ha HA HA HA HA!
BCorbett: Good question.
BCorbett: I hope we make it to
ten on network.
MJNelson: Besides getting a lame
song sung to us at Chili's, we have no special plans for our tenth
birthday. unless you've got something up your sleeve
BCorbett: Then we might achieve
the fame of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.
Moderator: <Gypsy> to <Moderator>: Is
Patrick going to continue to be Gypsy's voice?
Moderator: <BuckFifty> to <Moderator>: Hi
guys, since is seems that just about everyone misses the shorts, ever
think of doing an episode that is just short subjects?
MJNelson: Patrick does what ever
the HELL we say! And i say, YES!
BCorbett: One is under
BCorbett: It's really more about
MJNelson: We are working on
getting a short for one of our upcoming movies, but there are no details
as of yet.
Moderator: <Jamie> to <Moderator>: Brains,
since MST premiered in Europe, have you received any threats from psycho
Eurpean B-movie cineastes?
BCorbett: Trying to do Sci-Fi --
there aren't a lot of Sci-Fi shorts
BCorbett: And we've had long
enough movies so far
BCorbett: There are a dozen angry
guys with baguettes and berets outside my door every day
MJNelson: We've gotten a couple
of stuffy pieces of fan mail, it's actually pretty cool. I'm looking
forward to getting some complimentary pudding from the Brits.
BCorbett: Send lager!
BCorbett: Steak and kidney
pie!...No, forget that.
Moderator: <quickdraw> to <Moderator>: Is
BBI considering any NON-MST projects, (TV pilots, movies, obscene coffee
table books, etc.) or are you afraid you might be spreading yourselves
BCorbett: Thank you for calling
me thin. I don't hear that much.
BCorbett: And yes, you'll be very
happy with our dirty coffe table books.
MJNelson: If we told you, we'd
have to kill you. So can we?
BCorbett: Actually, some of us
are working on a screenplay together, but it's at a very early
* MJNelson receiving my package
from Xandria. *
BCorbett: And it's your color,
* MJNelson losing his motor
* BCorbett Hiting Mike with a
Moderator: <bilby9> to <Moderator>: Will
ther be another Summer Blockbuster Reveiw?
* MJNelson bleeding and crying.
BCorbett: I hope so.
BCorbett: One thing is very
MJNelson: We think there's
interest--from us anyway.
BCorbett: There WILL be more
stinky big-budhet movies!
BCorbett: Um, budGet.
BCorbett: Not buddhist
Moderator: <invincor> to <Moderator>:
Former BBI Prod. Manager Wendell Andersson has a movie debuting soon I
believe. Do you know precisely when and where?
* MJNelson crawling out from
under dust and rubble. *
BCorbett: I'm not sure.
BCorbett: He came by the office
and showed the trailer recently.
MJNelson: Wendell was in not long
ago with a trailer for it, and mentioned that it might premiere at the
L.A. film Festival.
BCorbett: I do know that Trace
and our own Beez McKeever are in it.
BCorbett: As well as Bill
MJNelson: So is Ed "Too
BCorbett: and Madeline Albright.
she's EVERYWHERE! ARGGHHH!
Moderator: <ZaphodB42> to <Moderator>: any
plans for more celebrity guests?
BCorbett: Linda Tripp will be on
the first five shows.
BCorbett: Actually, we're talking
to some BIG names.
MJNelson: The search goes on:
There is extreme interest from Boyd Gaines brother Ray. And possibly
BCorbett: And getting some BIG
restraining orders slapped on us.
MJNelson: People shout the word
"no" at us.
BCorbett: Ray Dennis Steckler's
former paper boy showed some interest.
Moderator: <bowleg> to <Moderator>: Any
possibility of excommunicated BBIers showing up in bit parts during
BCorbett: again, I hope so.
MJNelson: Excommunication takes a
long time, and has not been granted yet.
Moderator: <Mr13> to <Moderator>: Have
either one of them taken a good long look at Caption This! and if so,
who are their favorite captioneers?
BCorbett: We think you're ALL
MJNelson: Actually, we've had
some extremely tenative talks, but Frank demanded $800,000,000 dollars,
which we're trying to get.
BCorbett: Is that diplomatic
BCorbett: Frank insists on
bringing that cat from SABRINA with him.
MJNelson: I have not seen Caption
This! I am sorry. i will resign my post effective immediately.
Moderator: <Iorek> to <Moderator>: How do
you feel about recieving that Ace nomination for best comedy series?
* MJNelson resigning. *
BCorbett: Good riddanc --- I
mean, NO Mike!
MJNelson: It feels dirty.
BCorbett: I was the only nerd in
the group who was excited about it.
MJNelson: Actually, it's always
fun to go out there and crash their party. good vodka bar!
BCorbett: Everyone else has had
their clock cleaned by Sanders too many times before.
Moderator: <BrainGuy> to <Moderator>: we've
seen some good story arcs in season 8 (the planet of the apes, etc) ,
what do you have planned for season 9?
MJNelson: We'll out last the
BCorbett: More tepid
BCorbett: No - I mean, lots of
MJNelson: Kate Winslet, Kate
Winslet, Kate Winslet!!!
BCorbett: Pearl and her henchmen
find a real cool place at the beginning of the season
BCorbett: But Kevin has promised
to "break my %^&$#* thumbs" if I tell.
* MJNelson getting whipped with
palm fronds. *
Moderator: <JakeTheFake> to <Moderator>: [I
beg you for God's sake to give them my question] I got my copy of the
"Clowns in the Sky" CD recently, and it's great; but I was
wondering who wrote the liner notes.
MJNelson: That would be my sorry
BCorbett: Dah Hammarskjold, I
BCorbett: Um, DaG.
MJNelson: Unless you really hated
it, then bill did it.
Moderator: <ThaFog> to <Moderator>: Does
BBI have any intention of shutting down the MST3K fan web-sites for
using scripts and such without permision?
BCorbett: Yes! I -- hey!
BCorbett: We're sending our goons
Moderator: If you have a question for Mike & Bill,
MJNelson: We plan on
exterminating, with extreme predjudice. But first, we take out The
BCorbett: The script thing was a
weird little interlude.
BCorbett: I'm not sure exactly
MJNelson: Look, i'm sorry i sold
the script, Bill.
MJNelson: I needed a new
BCorbett: Well, enjoy the five
bucks it made you.
Moderator: <Nanite> to <Moderator>: What
can you tell us about the MST Graphic Novel and when can we expect to
BCorbett: you and your damned
HATS! Everything is HATS withyou!
BCorbett: At the risk of sounding
like an ignoramus again
MJNelson: I don't know when it'll
be out, but i do know IT WILL BE GRAPHIC!!! WHEW!
BCorbett: (Let's face it, I AM
BCorbett: I don't know
BCorbett: Excpet that the guy
who's doing it came by
MJNelson: You're finding out how
little power Nelson and corbett wield around here.
BCorbett: and showed us. It
looked pretty good!
BCorbett: They make me cleanthe
bathroom and stuff here to get my paycheck.
Moderator: <DanHarkless> to <Moderator>:
Have you guys seen the new Josh- and Trace-driven America's Funniest
Home Videos? What's your opinion of it?
* MJNelson telling Nelson to
shut his puny mouth. *
BCorbett: I haven't seen it
BCorbett: It's just been on for
two weeks, right?
MJNelson: I admit, I have not
seen it--And i'm the hugest Daisy Fuentes fan in the world!!
MJNelson: DAISY, DAISY, DAISY!!
BCorbett: I'm busy catching up on
old tapes of SAVED BY THE BELL.
* BCorbett Hosing Mike down.
* MJNelson is hosed. *
Moderator: <ProTH> to <Moderator>: At the
very end of each episode, the authors of the first amendment are no
longer Specially Thanked... why?
BCorbett: I'm sure it's funnier
if those guys are writing for it.
BCorbett: Because Kevin hates the
MJNelson: What did they do that
was so cool? (heavy sarcasm) Oh, thanks for the country, I'm having a
BCorbett: Freedom! Big
MJNelson: It's time to thank the
man who made the new Bigger Cheez Its.
BCorbett: Yeah! A REAL american
BCorbett: Mike, have you tried
MJNelson: You can fit things on
them, it's great.
Moderator: <DCboy> to <Moderator>: Any
plans to do a 6-million dollar man or woman movie?
BCorbett: We get pretty excited
by cheese around here.
MJNelson: Can someone e-mail me
some cheez? Or cheese. Whatever.
BCorbett: I doubt it.
MJNelson: Only if we get the
bionic dog thrown in the mix.
BCorbett: It would be fun, but
it's amazing what is NOT available for our MSTing pleasure.
* MJNelson Chumbawummbaing.
Moderator: <Spoons> to <Moderator>: We're
MSTies from the UK and we'd like to know if everyone will be coming to
the UK to plug the show.
* MJNelson getting knocked down,
but he gets up again, they're not ever going to keep him down. *
BCorbett: YES! YES! YES!
BCorbett: Hear that, Sci-Fi
MJNelson: PLEASE PLEASE YES,
PLEASE MAY WE.
BCorbett: They want us to come
MJNelson: Could you warm a couple
of pints for me?
BCorbett: Meet you at the Bull
and Pig Pub.
MJNelson: Get me some proper
MJNelson: And some eggs
BCorbett: PS I lived in London
for a few months. so I speak the language and everything.
BCorbett: Hear that,
BCorbett: I want to meet Lord
MJNelson: Parlez vous English,
Moderator: <FlamingHat> to <Moderator>: Did
you know there was actually a SEQUEL to Riding With Death?
* MJNelson going to enland on
sci fi's dime. *
BCorbett: I did not know that.
I am horrified.
MJNelson: It's actually the Tv
series Gemini Man.
* BCorbett Waking Nelson up.
MJNelson: There is a big fan of
it right in the offices of Sci Fi Channel. Scary huh?
BCorbett: He has Ben Murphy
posters all over his office.
BCorbett: And Jim Stafford music
blaring day and night.
Moderator: <MrCrowT> to <Moderator>: Aren't
you worried of the UK seeing "The Devil Doll?"
BCorbett: Um -- heh heh --
MJNelson: I'm worried that anyone
see the Devil Doll.
MJNelson: I wasn't worried when
the U.S. saw Manos the Hands of Fate.
BCorbett: Actually we have a few
Brit movies from the 60s coming up this season that will certainly
cement our doom with the UK.
Moderator: <Barto> to <Moderator>: Will we
see Mike in Drag again anytime soon?
BCorbett: Yeah, after all th ebig
chunk-headed american guys MST has razzed over the years, it's hard to
say we're pciking on anyone.
* MJNelson worrying he might not
get to go to the U.K. *
MJNelson: If you were here now,
you'd see me in drag.
BCorbett: More accurately, we're
picking on EVERYONE.
* BCorbett I am here. Lucky me.
MJNelson: Like Gene Kelly in
Singin' in the Rain, it's always dignity first with me.
BCorbett: Mike's slogan:
"Dignity first, then pants."
MJNelson: Why don't we just have
me oil wrestle a pig next? That's what it's all leading to.
Moderator: <monkey> to <Moderator>: what do
you think of the spice girls new movie? any chance of getting it, or is
it to horrible for you?
BCorbett: Speaking of Devil Doll,
does anyone remember if the puppet ever got the ham he wanted or
MJNelson: I like Anemic
MJNelson: And Bacon Spice, she's
BCorbett: I prefer Pedantic
MJNelson: RopeBurn Spice is
BCorbett: Revolving Spice is cool
BCorbett: and Poultry
MJNelson: Don Knotts Spice is
BCorbett: We'll getthat movie in
the year 2157.
MJNelson: Rondo Hatten Spice i
could do without.
BCorbett: I prefer Fran Tarkenton
MJNelson: Jerry Orbach spice is
one hot tomato.
BCorbett: As well as Mr. T and
Tina Spice. Yum!
Moderator: <JakeTheFake> to <Moderator>:
We've noticed a lot of repeated musical references through the season;
your opinion of Paula Cole is quite obvious, but what's the staff's
general opinion on Beck? Lots of references to him, but are they homage
MJNelson: Puncture Wound Spice
makes me tingly.
BCorbett: And Clam Spice - yum!
OK let's stop now.
BCorbett: I like what I know of
MJNelson: I never want to stop
hitting Beck, personally. But Kevin, that big dumb yahoo, likes the
twisted little punk.
BCorbett: More his music than his
MJNelson: Beck Spice is neat,
BCorbett: But Anson Williams
Spice is better!
Moderator: <HaLLoSpAcEgUrL> to <Moderator>:
what are your ideas on the Clinton scandal?
MJNelson: Burr DeBenning SPice
BCorbett: There's NO WAY he did
it! He's proven that he would never -- ! Oh no wait, that's the
MJNelson: Um....I think...that
people who do that...shouldn't instantly be condemned...heh
* MJNelson sweating profusely.
* MJNelson turning all red.
* MJNelson lightly whimpering
like Dustin Hoffman in the graduate. *
* MJNelson passing out from
* BCorbett Doing his imitation
of William Daniel in the Graduate. *
Moderator: <Delfin3000> to <Moderator>:
Will you do any more Cameos on Talk Soup?
* BCorbett noticing people are
MJNelson: We love it there. Any
time they ask us, we'll be back. They're very nice folks, and very
BCorbett: Not unless Senor Sock
MJNelson: There's been hints of a
guest host thing, but maybe i'm just dreaming.
* MJNelson dreaming, big time.
BCorbett: INext I want to skip
the middle man and actually be IN a fight on Jerry Springer.
MJNelson: I could hit you now,
BCorbett: Thanks, you're a
* MJNelson hitting Bill.
Moderator: <Elroy-L> to <Moderator>: any
chance of brain-guy scoring with pearl ?
BCorbett: Again, thanks.
BCorbett: Ewwww! I'm
MJNelson: OH MY...hey...that's
BCorbett: Brain Guy is -- well,
MJNelson: Thanks Elroy-L. Where
do i send the check?
Moderator: <Manos> to <Moderator>: I'm
still curious as to the legal implications. How do your guys go about
getting permission to use these terrible films? What kind of rolayties
do you have to pay their "creators?"
BCorbett: We have to clear the
rights in every country in the world.
MJNelson: We offer them whiskey
and they all seem to pipe down.
MJNelson: But I kid the creators
of terrible films.
BCorbett: Good old-fashinoed
MJNelson: Someone owns them all,
that's what's hard to fathom.
BCorbett: Um, fashioned.
Moderator: <Jinx> to <Moderator>: any
chance of Mike suckering Pearl or her henchmen into the theater?
MJNelson: Wretching Spice, that
was a bad idea.
MJNelson: There's no way that
will ever....hey....not a bad idea. Thank Jinx. Where do I send the
BCorbett: We did that in the
Blockbuster review, and it got a BIT crowded.
* MJNelson crying over Titanic.
BCorbett: We probably will paly
with it again, but hopefully not at the expense of the movie
* MJNelson falling for Leo
BCorbett: paly = play in my
* MJNelson watching Spawn for
the 47th time. *
Moderator: <Violet-rain> to <Moderator>: I
heard a rumor about introducing a new "bot" to the show is
BCorbett: Yes. A Tim Daly-bot.
MJNelson: I categorically don't
MJNelson: No. There will be no
new bot. I think. Wait? No. Ye...No.
BCorbett: I'm Daly-obessed today.
what's next, TYNE?
BCorbett: Probably no new
MJNelson: Roto-Tiller Spice is
Moderator: <Gypsy> to <Moderator>: I
noticed MST3K's mention in yesterday's USA Today. Do you think you're
getting more publicity since you moved to Sci-Fi?
BCorbett: Fritz Hollings spice,
not my fave.
BCorbett: I think we now
officially RULE THIS STINKING PLANET.
MJNelson: I think we've gotten
some decent press. I'm waiting for the big story in The Advocate,
BCorbett: Sorry, I had a
seizure...I meant to say, "I think so."
* MJNelson ruling the stinking
BCorbett: BIG expose in The
Nation coming up.
Moderator: <DeusEx> to <Moderator>: Hey, is
there going to be another Convention?
BCorbett: About Kevin's nursing
BCorbett: I'd love another
Convention -- I was a mere infant at the one in '96.
MJNelson: Thank you for your
interest in conventions hosted by small town puppet shows. There will
not be one in the near future.....
MJNelson: But there is a We've
Got it Maid convention in Webster Wis, this fall.
BCorbett: But the schedule makes
another one like that very tough.
BCorbett: Velcro Spice? Pretty
Moderator: <HaLLoSpAcEgUrL> to <Moderator>:
What is your opinion of Bill Gates?
* MJNelson calling Hot Pepper
Spray in the Eye Spice. *
BCorbett: I resent the microchip
he planted in my hinder.
BCorbett: Cardinal Richelieu
Spice is wonderful.
MJNelson: Bill Gates is a fine,
upstanding, hard working...MONSTER!!! IT'S SATAN...SATAN DO YOU HEAR ME?
WIPE HIM OUT. STOP HIM!!!!
Moderator: <MST3kCommander> to <Moderator>:
Do you guys ever screw up your lines when your in the Theater? And if
you do how do you fix it?----> Going over all the lines again?
MJNelson: Screw up our
liiines...noh, i do'ont thinkls so. notet me. anywey.
* BCorbett Again, training the
hose on Mike Nelson, beloved host of TV's Mystery Science Theater 3000.
And enjoying it! *
BCorbett: We have line screw-ups
in every taping.
MJNelson: We do, actually,
occasionally, fluff things up. We can go back and fix them afterwards.
hint. Kevin is the worst. The WORST.
Moderator: <Atrus> to <Moderator>:
"Can you tell us about any funny "behind the scenes"
BCorbett: We fix them through the
magic of Brad Keeley, our wonderful editor.
BCorbett: Paul trying to catch
that greased muskrat. that was rich!
Moderator: We only have a few minutes left. Please
send your final questions to the Moderator (me)
MJNelson: All behind the scenes
stuff relates to puppets exploding and falling apart. or now and then,
me exploding and falling apart.
BCorbett: PS re the lines: look
at Crow's beak during the shop sometime.
MJNelson: During the
BCorbett: Every now and then it
doesn't sync with the line.
MJNelson: Ferrier Spice,
BCorbett: The SHOW,
OK,&*^#$%@^& beloved TV host?!!?!?!?!
BCorbett: Hosni Mubarak Spice,
Moderator: <Tom> to <Moderator>: How did
the Packer's loss effect your lives?
MJNelson: Jicama Spice, what's
* MJNelson shooting himself in
the head over person mentioning Packers loss. *
BCorbett: It made me realize I
want to be a priest.
BCorbett: Please, don't be cruel,
Mike's from "that" state.
MJNelson: It made me wonder why I
ever bought that Chihuahua.
Moderator: <BuckFifty> to <Moderator>: Will
there be a Home Game at the start of this upcoming season and if so,
what will the featured movie be?
BCorbett: The movie will be
"Blame it on the Bellboy."
MJNelson: We haven't heard
anything about, but then our knowledge is very limited.
MJNelson: about "it"
BCorbett: Glass Shard Spice, not
Moderator: <JimL2> to <Moderator>: Are you
ever recognized by people on the street? \
MJNelson: Of course there's the
very real possibility I am, but people just choose to run.
BCorbett: Yes -- they say, you
look like a guy who is often under a puppet and /or dressed as a
popmpous albinoalien with a hood.
MJNelson: Curly Fry Spice, don't
BCorbett: At least she's better
than Jim Nabors Spice.
Moderator: <dprevett> to <Moderator>: Will
Mike get to be a puppet again?
MJNelson: Ball Peen Spice,
BCorbett: Actually, I've never
been recgonized re the show, and I'm fine with that.
MJNelson: By simply becoming more
and more wooden i'm attempting to organically change into a
BCorbett: AK-47 spice, a bit
Moderator: <telefan> to <Moderator>: Will
there be a Servo or Crow virtual pet on the market
MJNelson: The beautiful puppet
that Patrick built is sitting right in back, waiting to be used
BCorbett: In some sense, Kevin
Murphy IS a Servo Virtual Pet.
MJNelson: He's a
BCorbett: You have to feed him
every ten minutes or he cries.
* MJNelson consoling a wet and
crying Kevin Murphy. *
BCorbett: Is he wet AGAIN?
BCorbett: I just changed
MJNelson: Wait, now I am.
Moderator: Did you see the new Observer T-Shirt?
BCorbett: I don't like this job
Moderator: It's available exclusively at the Sci-Fi
MJNelson: I did the new shameless
plug. It's very cool. Or scary. I can't decide.
BCorbett: (Said shamelessly:)
Why, yes I did! It's nifty!
MJNelson: did "see" I
meant to say.
Moderator: Thank you so much for chatting with us!
BCorbett: Three fey white drag
queens, on your VERY SHIRT! Lucky you!
Moderator: Any last comments for our chatters?
MJNelson: It's been great (for me
anyway). i hope i haven't hurt anyone.
BCorbett: Thank you for
supporting everything the Spice
BCorbett: Girls do.
MJNelson: Just to thank them for
coming out for this. It's always a pleasure.
BCorbett: Except Pork Loin Spice
-- stop encouraging her!
Moderator: We will now make the room unmoderated.
Don't forget to buy your t-shirt.
BCorbett: Thank you, everyone!
It's been great!
CoSMiC-RaiN: Holy WOW
monkey: WE LOVE MST3K!!!!!!!!!!!
MrMSTy: MODERATOR BLOWS!!!!
Sampo: Thank you very much, guys!
Zaphod42: The MODERATOR IS A KNOB!!!
BrainGuy: moderator blows!!! posting stupid questions
from the same 5 people! MODERATOR IS A K-N-O-B
SwiftEagl: Great job on the new season, guys! The
planet-hopping and new characters have all been excellent.
uNi-T: hey trent
RoofPig: now comes the flood from the lame people. im
Paladin5: MADISON MADISON MADISON MADISON MADISON!!!!!
BrainGuy: moderator blows!!! posting stupid questions
from the same 5 people! MODERATOR IS A K-N-O-B
Laurelyn: Bice, how the hell are you?
MST3kCommander: MST3k Moon Base: A *New* HOT! MST3k Web
Site! ?:-) http://www.kersur.net/~mkosciak/Index.html
Bolting: hey guys! hello from Columbus!
captain: EXTREME CHATING
Moviesignar: MSTies inc. & mst3k rules bye