So, You want to be a librarian?!

So, you want to be a librarian,
And manage lots of books?
Just go and tell your friends that
And imagine all the looks

How dull they'd think or even say
Putting books on shelves each day
Or checking them out or date-stamping
- Couldn't imagine nothing - so boring!

Or your great maiden aunt would whisper
"That's nice dear", in a curious sort of way
Rememberin' days when books was books
And the Mechanics Institute opened every other day

But no matter how you protest
And tried to explain
You'll find it hard to convince 'em
That librarianship has changed

It's not just books and catalogues
Of little cards so neat
But the power of electronics
And miles of cables 'neath your feet

There's CD-ROMs and OPACs
- the wizardry of our age
Just to help you locate the stuff
Upon the written page

You'll use E-mail and Internet
Be linked into the world
- an EX - PLO - SION of knowledge
But like wisdom - very little pearls

You'll have a job that's varied
And manage books at times that's true
Though a myriad of other tasks
In a library there is to do

You may battle with a budget
And fight dwindling council funds
Cursing the skinflint old b...'s,
(who'd rather a brand new footpath
than a library copier - at least a working one)

Some days you'll work the reference desk
And there you're bound to meet
Customers who are friendly, or arrogant,
Demanding, or meek

At times you'll be stressed to overload
When the phone is running hot
The queue will seem a mile long
A spare minute - you haven't got

Your demeanor may be swaying
Frustration is setting in
Another inane question
Another As-pi-rin

You'll try 'ard to be the professional
And wished the public 'd see
That there's more to your calling
Than the stereotyped imagery

"Thas not a li - brair - ee - um"
"ll say a five-year old who knows
With one hand in 'is mums
And a finger up 'is nose

Then come one day before a mirror
You'll meta-morph-a-size
A frumpy, bun-haired matron
Appearing before your eyes

You'll try to blink the image away
Although knowing all too well
It's how may may perceive you
- the librarian - from HELL !

SSSSHHHHH !!!!!