I Was Spanked By Linda Ronstadt!
The Chris Reann Story
It's true; Linda Ronstadt really did spank me. A claim that very few people can truthfully make. But before I tell you that story, let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I was born and raised in Tucson Arizona and got a start in show business at a very young age. In fact when most other kids were starting first grade I was staring in my very own television western. You might remember me as Dusty in the 1959 short-lived made for TV western "My Little Buckaroo."
That's me (in the picture to the left) on my trusty and faithful horse Toiss. I still have very fond memories of those days. Although, it didn't last long, it was in some ways the best nine months of my life. I didn't get to see any of the money that I made from the show. In fact, all I have now to show for it is my 40-year-old love for chewing tobacco, a faded pair of chaps, and that tiny cowboy hat.
The series was cancelled in its first year and it was time for me to move on. I did how ever land a fair number of small roles in other TV shows in the years that followed. But nothing that compared to my glory days as Dusty.
Eventually I dropped out of school and took to the rodeo circuit in an attempt to return to the cowboy way of life. I tried my hand at bull riding but just had no talent for it. I was eventually reduced to taking work as a rodeo clown.
As you can see from the picture on the right, you have to be pretty damn fast to stay alive in that line of work. So it wasn't long before I decided I'd had enough of dodging bulls and dressing like the wild west village idiot. This was no life for a real cowboy.
In one last desperate attempt to return to the glamorous life of movie making, I entered the adult movie business. It was an exciting life at first. I tried to develop a character named Woodsman who always wore chaps, a cowboy hat, and boots. But the directors never thought it was a very good idea. So I always ended up the same way in every movie... butt naked, bootless, and always at the wrong end of a whip. Again this was no life for a true cowboy.
I drifted from odd job to odd job after that. Eventually settling into the profession of an electrician. Not a glamorous life, but an honest one. I will always treasure my childhood memories. Oh yes... like the time I was spanked by Linda Ronstadt.
As a very young child I lived in the same neighborhood as Linda. In fact she would baby sit my sister and me. I was always beating up on my little sister. Unbeknownst to me, my mom had given Linda permission to spank me if I didn't behave. So Linda gave me a whack on my bottom one day with a rolled up newspaper. It worked! I turned my attention away from my sister and focused then on how to get even with Linda. Be sure to watch for my next webpage entitled...
I Bit The Streamers Off Linda Ronstadt's Bike!
or e-mail me if you want to know more
hosted by funnybone.com