Editorial: The Pros and Cons of Being a Doormat

 

By

 

TinyOne aka: ChuChu aka: The Veritable Doormat

 

 

If you are reading this, you must be one of the many fans of Elite-Fansubs.  You might be wondering how it came to be that TinyOne aka: The Veritable Doormat has control of this domain among other things.  TinyOne aka: doormat-chan is not sure where to begin, so then she supposes there is no better place to start than at the beginning.  The beginning tends to be a hazy spot, so she skips all the seemingly irrelevant incidents preceding this one and gets to the main point.  It begins with the bright idea someone from E-F had in accepting donations from fans in order to pay for essentials for any group presiding on the internet.  TinyOne thought, at the time, and still does think that this was a wonderful idea.  At this point, doormat-chan is somewhat a fan of a group that provides fansubs for the community.  She decides at this point that she would send in a donation to E-F at the link provided by the topic.  She makes out her donation in the very reasonable amount of $50.  She believes, at this point, that she has done her duty for the time being. 

 

Around the same time she does this, she finds out that her boyfriend aka: the freeloading sponge has a friend in the E-F staff.  She talks to Nox240 and they mutually discover a connection in the form of the freeloading sponge.  They meet in person at an anime convention and TinyOne’s impressions of the Nox240 at that time are…Nox240 aka: The Panda with the Hangdog Cigarette. 

 

A few days have passed since she sent in her donation to E-F.  To her surprise, one day, devilray aka: the antichrist contacts poor doormat-chan.  He tells her that he cannot accept her donation due to a problem with his paypal account.  He then asks for her help with the renewal of the group domain.  He chooses to go with Register.com for domain renewal.  The renewal will cost approximately $80.  TinyOne thinks about this and decides that it is not that much over the original donation price.  She decides to help devilray.  She renews the domain for elite-fansubs.com and inputs all of her personal information required for this transaction.  When she is done with this, she feels satisfaction in helping out the group and believes her part to be finished. 

 

devilray perceiving the extreme doormat potential of TinyOne again asks her for help.  He asks her for an additional donation of approximately $40 to pay for website forwarding or some such service.  TinyOne agrees since she figures she’s already gone as far as renewing the domain and since the domain account is currently under her name she might as well do it.  TinyOne, once again, believes her duty towards Elite-Fansubs to be finished. 

 

Some time passes before once again devilray contacts TinyOne.  He asks her if E-F can use her paypal account as a repository for donations since his is unable to accept payments due its unverified state.  It might be noted at this point that devilray aka: the antichrist has a chronic case of extreme paranoia and has entered false information into his paypal account making it unverifiable.  TinyOne once again decides to accept, already being in the habit of helping out devilray.  Donations begin to pour into TinyOne’s paypal account after much trouble in getting the account to the point of accepting credit card payments.  TinyOne then transfers the money accumulated in her account into devilray’s bogus account. Once again, mistakenly, TinyOne believes her duty is complete and final. 

 

Finally, one day, devilray’s bogus account can no longer take any transfers from TinyOne’s account.  Paypal has decreed that in order to keep using the account, devilray must verify his account.  The reader might also be reminded, at this point, that devilray’s account cannot be verified due to the false information he used to open said account.  At this point, the reader will probably also think that TinyOne is completely insane because she gives devilray the password to her PayPal account so that he can manage his funds.  Her doormat tendencies are so readily apparent that she decides to trust the antichrist with something so easily taken advantage of.  To his credit, TinyOne must say that devilray did not in any way take advantage of TinyOne with this knowledge except to use her account to manage E-F funds.  TinyOne runs into issues at this point due to the fact that since the donations are residing in her paypal account, she cannot make paypal purchases without using the E-F funds.  This renders it impossible for TinyOne to use her account for personal purchases.  TinyOne philosophically copes with this in finding alternate means of payment for purchases. 

 

Now donations are beginning to pile up in TinyOne’s account. devilray comes to TinyOne with another request.  He would like to buy the Argento Soma extra episode DVD for project purposes.  He would like to use the funds from the donations in TinyOne’s paypal account to purchase this DVD from cdjapan.  TinyOne agrees to do this.  She believed it to be a rather simple purchase; however, it quickly became more complicated.  She went to the cdjapan website and purchased the DVD and had it sent to lipton’s address.  To this day, TinyOne does not know if lipton realizes that she has his personal information.  Cdjapan writes TinyOne back that they cannot accept her order unless she faxes all her information including a photocopy of her driver’s license to cdjapan.  Because she is a first time customer and is having the product sent to a different address, they must make sure this is a valid purchase.  Finally, after much difficulty, the order was processed and sent to lipton.

 

Some time passes again…and devilray once again comes to TinyOne asking for help.  This time he would like TinyOne to use the funds in her paypal account to pay for the website hosting.  He tells her to transfer approximately $120 from her paypal account into her bank account to pay for one year of website hosting.  TinyOne does this and thus begins the monthly withdrawal of approximately $10 from TinyOne’s bank account.  Please note this event is occurring in April 2002…the current timeframe is August 2003. 

 

You may now be asking the question…well…what benefit did TinyOne get from doing all this for E-F?  Surely, she wouldn’t do all this for nothing.  It seems that the only benefits she received for doing all this was access to the E-F distro channel….and after a while an autovoice status with the venerable Theology.  Strangely enough, TinyOne was happy with this.  The people on the distro channel were very nice and TinyOne was very happy to know them.  You may wonder now…if TinyOne was so happy with just these few things, what happened that we’ve now come to the point where E-F’s website is this editorial? 

 

As it happens, devilray decided to break up the happy distro channel family due to file leaks.  He makes a preposterous 3 tier distro plan.  He puts TinyOne into his Tier 2 distro channel.  TinyOne finds that she is alone in there with the exception of someone she has never met before.  Her friends from the original distro channel are scattered between Tier 1 distro and the temp channel devilray designated for those people who are still unsorted.  TinyOne is lonely in the tier 2 channel since it is almost empty except for strangers.  She is sad that original channel was broken up.  She decides to quit the tier 2 channel and hangs out in the unsorted distro temp channel with some of her friends.  She waits with them until they get their status.  She waits with them for one week…then two….then three…and finally devilray comes to them one by one and declares that he will not have them in his distro team unless they only distribute for E-F and no one else.  Of course this is unacceptable for most of these people.  So one of these people decides that he would create his own channel and invite all the people from the original distro channel into this channel so that they can continue as they were before.  TinyOne follows this friend of hers and makes his channel her new home. 

 

At this time, many of the staff members leave E-F. Politics within E-F were becoming complicated.  Staff members were not getting along and there was dissatisfaction festering in a few of the staff members and they decide to leave the group.  This upsets devilray and he comes to TinyOne and tells her he’s thinking of quitting the group as well.  TinyOne thinks that he must have told this to other people on staff since it is a big decision when the owner thinks about leaving.  She talks to her friend Nox240 and realizes that devilray has not made his intentions known to his staff.  Nox240 tells everyone of devilray’s intention to leave and several more staff declare that they want to leave as well.  devilray comes to TinyOne angry because she told Nox240 about his intentions in leaving and rants at her about how it is her fault everything is falling apart.  TinyOne is irritated at this point.  If he was telling her in confidence, he should have made that fact clear.  She knows that E-F falling apart has nothing to do with her.  She feels that it is unfair to be blamed for such events and decides to cut ties with E-F.  She tells devilray that she intends to cut ties with E-F and that her paypal account will no longer be available for donations.  She also tells devilray that the domain and hosting will remain the same at this time.  At this time, her autovoice in E-F gets taken away.  This bothers TinyOne.  It seems to remind her that she is just being used and her contributions are unappreciated.  She decides that it is not worth it to continue to go to the channel and be constantly reminded of this fact.   You might ask…why didn’t she just cut off the support of the domain and hosting at this time?   TinyOne’s reasoning in the case was simple.  Nox240 was her friend and out of consideration and respect for her friend, she would continue with the upkeep of the domain and hosting. 

 

Many months pass again.  Then finally it comes time for doormat-chan to make some personal decisions.  In November of 2002, TinyOne decides to breakup with her boyfriend aka: the freeloading sponge who masquerades as a slob.  Everyone who was used to TinyOne’s doormat tendencies were surprised.  How could she possibly do something so un-doormat-like?  Despite expectations that doormat-chan would once again get back together with the freeloading sponge, TinyOne surprisingly shows some backbone and remains firm in her decision.  This event is so surprising that one might even think it was a fluke of nature.

 

Time passes for TinyOne happily in this state of being sponge free.  After a few more months, TinyOne’s friend who is also the friend of the freeloading sponge aka: Nox240 begins to talk to TinyOne more frequently than before.  TinyOne notes that this is a nice change from the usual conversations where Nox240 demands transfers of files without participating in any form of small talk.  Of course, by now Nox240 has noticed TinyOne’s extreme doormat-like nature. 

 

One day, out of the blue, Nox240 declares that he would like TinyOne to be his girlfriend.  TinyOne is shocked.  She had no idea he was even considering this.  She thinks about this proposition and decides that there are several reason to decline.  She tells Nox240 that she must decline for several reasons and lists them to Nox240.  Nox240 feels that those are weak reasons for declining and keeps trying to convince TinyOne for a period of time.  Once again, TinyOne surprisingly remains firm in her decision.  What once seemed like a fluke of nature has become a habit.  After having had so many failed relationships, TinyOne now has standards.  Finally, after many rejections, it seems that Nox240 has given up the chase.  Little did TinyOne know that she was mistaken in this assumption.

 

TinyOne, relieved that Nox240 is content with just being her friend, continues to associate with him on a friendly basis.  Unfortunately, TinyOne soon finds that Nox240 has not given up the chase.  One day, Nox240 aka: the Drunk Panda contacts TinyOne.  He was extremely intoxicated and decides to once again confess his love to TinyOne and tells her that he has not given up.  TinyOne feels very uncomfortable and once again tells him that she cannot accept his proposition.  She tries to do this as nicely as possible.  The next day she talks to Nox240 and he tells her that what he said was not true.  He has indeed given up on her.  TinyOne is very relieved to hear this because at this point, she has begun to have an interest in someone else. 

 

One might think that after this rather embarrassing experience, Nox240 would no longer make drunk confessions to the unwilling TinyOne.  Unfortunately for poor doormat-chan, this was not to be the case.  The Drunk Panda began to make a habit of contacting doormat-chan and making drunk confessions of love to her.  She has to refuse him again and again.  By now, TinyOne is getting very tired of this cycle.  Months pass in this manner.

 

We finally come to almost present day.  In his last drunk confession to doormat-chan, the drunk panda goes a little too far and makes her angry.  The confession can be seen here.  TinyOne who is extremely slow to anger and very patient is now finally angry.  She thinks to herself that she cannot take this kind of verbal abuse.  In the confession, you see TinyOne say that when the drunk panda wakes up, he will find that she is no longer his friend.  After this, TinyOne makes herself unavailable to be contacted by him online.  He then decides to call TinyOne’s home phone and cell phone leaving multiple drunk messages for hours into the night.  TinyOne who is very tired and needs to get up early the next day gets no sleep.  She turns off the ringers on her home phones but since her cell phone is used for work purposes, she cannot turn it off in case there are any emergencies. 

 

The next day TinyOne goes to an event her sister is attending.  During that event Nox240, who is now sober, calls her and leaves her a message inviting her to lunch.  This is very strange because Nox240 has never done that before.  TinyOne can only assume that Nox240 remembers the events of the past night and wants to fix things.  TinyOne ignores this message as well.  TinyOne hopes the Drunk Panda has now gotten the message that she does not want to hear from him.

 

Several days later, the drunk panda once again messages TinyOne while “crab shacked” as he puts it.  TinyOne who still tired from the events of the weekend, had already gone to bed and did not answer.  The next day upon finding the message and seeing Nox240 claim that he does not remember what happened, TinyOne decides to refresh Nox240’s memory of the events, and sends him the log of the drunk confession.  She asks him to stop messaging her and tells him she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore.  Nox240 tells her he will stop messaging her as she wishes.  TinyOne now believes it to be over and that she will not have to deal with the drunk panda again.  She now tries to stop being angry about the situation.

 

A week passes and TinyOne believes herself to be safe from further interaction with Nox240, but she was wrong.  Once again he messages her with apologies.  TinyOne would like to just forget that she knew him and move on.  Since TinyOne did not answer this message, Nox240 takes it into the channel where TinyOne had decided to make her home.  He asks her to message him in the channel.  She also ignores this.  Since he received no reply from this as well, Nox240 also sends her a text message on her phone.  TinyOne gets irritated all over again.  She has expressed the wish to be left alone.  Why can’t he respect that?  She ignores the phone text message as well.  TinyOne hopes that ignoring him would send the message that she doesn’t want to speak to him. 

 

Now events take us to this past Friday.  TinyOne is awoken from her nap by a phone call.  She is irritated that someone would wake her up.  When she realizes that it is Nox240, she gets even more irritated.  She tells him not to call her anymore and hangs up on him.  Feeling thwarted, Nox240 goes into the channel and tells everyone in the channel that TinyOne is mad at him etc… TinyOne finally gets angry again.  She has been trying to keep things private between Nox240 and herself without dragging other people into the situation.  Nox240 apparently has no such scruples.  These events can be read here.  She indicates once and for all her wish to be left alone.  After TinyOne leaves the channel and gives up the place that she had made her home, one of her good friends from the channel shows her what Nox240 wrote to the channel about her.  These comments can be seen here.  TinyOne is angry beyond reason.  In all the events that transpired, she did not call the drunk panda bad names or slander him in front of others.  She feels that he is making himself out to be the victim and that this whole situation is of TinyOne’s making.  TinyOne is absolutely sure at this point that there is no longer any hint of friendship between her and the drunk panda.

 

With the destruction of her friendship with Nox240, she no longer has a reason to continue to support E-F and their website.  She decides to do what she should have done a long time ago.  You might say that she is taking out her personal grievances with Nox240 on the whole of E-F.  On this matter, TinyOne asks you when has she ever been appreciated in her dealings with E-F.  TinyOne would also like to note that if she had been made staff for her contributions, shutting down the website would have never crossed her mind as an option she could take.  She owes no loyalty towards devilray since he never saw fit to ask for it.  This matter is encompassed by all the events that were discussed above.  You might say that E-F is comprised of more than just devilray and Nox240.  Why should she make other people pay as well?  TinyOne feels that it is unfortunate that these people are somewhat affected by these events as well; however, she also notes that they have been getting these benefits for free all this time, do they have the right to complain?  You might say that by shutting down E-F’s website, TinyOne is being a downright bitch.  TinyOne has to only to say that by now, since everyone already thinks of her as a “buttfuking bitch”, shouldn’t she be proof of concept and show people that she can be a bitch to avoid confusing them.  You might also say that in E-F’s defense, this is a biased story based on one person’s side of the story.  TinyOne completely agrees with that; however, if she chooses to tell her story and post it here, then that is also her right.  Whether or not you believe these events to be accurate and true is up to you. 

 

As for the pros and cons of being a doormat, it seems that the cons of being a doormat far outweigh the pros.  You might say that there are no pros based on this story.  TinyOne has found only one pro and that is the fact that she has made good friends while being a doormat.  As for cons, there are so many of those that even this long story cannot encompass them all.  TinyOne is attempting to stop being a doormat and start being three-dimensional for once, and as a result of that, you are reading this story.  TinyOne supposes it takes being hung for doormats to stand upright.