Songs for Swinging Celibates

  • Sodom Tonight
  • Very Naughty Party
  • Galway Bay
  • Black Contact Lenses
  • Goodbye to Berlin
  • Love theme from "Yeats:The Movie"
  • Still Life with Girl
  • Bouncing off the Boulders
  • The Best things in Life are Mine
  • 1988 Recorded on 4-track at the Burnt Stakehouse (Neils living room)

    Sodom Tonight

    It's so nasty out there it's perfectly horrid
    People walk around with numbers on their forrid
    All of the prophets are moving out of town
    The lambs are being slaughtered 
    As the abattoire falls down
    Well we'll have to spend tomorrow in Gomorrah
    But baby Sodom tonight
    Oh all the dirty bookshops are full of revelations
    They're crucifying winos in the railway stations
    Mouths full of dust they've got eyes full of mud
    Deep down town they're turning whiskey into blood
    A guy with holes in his hands, waving a Bible
    Runs under our window naked screaming 'Libel!'
    The whore on the corner has her red dress on
    back from a weekend with her mother in Babylon
    Well the breads turned to rock in the breadbin
    It's getting dark awful early, shall I turn on the light?
    Well we're gonna have to spend tomorrow in Gomorrah, begorrah
    but baby Sodom Tonight 

    Very Naughty Party

    Ah weirdos and thickos & bigots & wackos
    Smakk on cracks & Balkan tobaccos
    Giving hand jobs in toilets & head on the stairs
    wall to wall mattress and there arent any chairs
    They haven't any Pepsi and I've lost my comb
    This is a very naughty party and I think I'll go home
    This is a very naughty party
    and I wanna go home
    The music is loud and dreadfully depressing
    Young ladies in black are slowly undressing
    Young boys mumble lines like "I've nothing to lose"
    Sniff Ajax and sneeze and then puke on their shoes
    I can't bear to see scenes of such degradation
    So I turn my attention to the girl and alsation...
    Children these days just don't understand
    As I'm trapped by a girl who drums in a band
    I merely asked quite politely for a small glass of water
    She must have misheard if she were my daughter
    What on earth is she doing. The excesses of Rome 
    Have nothing on this, Christ I'd better go home
    How she can do that with only one hand
    Is something I'll never ever ever understand
    And what on earth is he doing why he could be my double
    Oh dear it's a mirror, I'm in serious trouble
    The floor is unspeakable, the ceiling is scummy
    I can't take any more, beam me up mummy!! 

    Galway Bay

    Well, I'm in the bay city and I'm sitting pretty pretty
    And you're pretty pretty and your sitting on me
    And I'm pretty witty and your itty-bitty
    And isn't it a pity the city can't see
    The Sun goes down on Galway Bay
    The daughter goes down on me
    Her dad's not due till one or maybe two
    And I'm as happy as I'll ever be
    You're so cute in your birthday suit
    And I'm so cool in mine
    I could play all day with your exotic fruit
    If you didn't have school at nine
    I'm the kind of boy that fit's into your bed
    You give me everything I ever wanted
    Your the kind of girl that fits into my bed 
    I'll give you everything you ever wanted
    And I'm as happy as I'll ever be.

    Black Contact Lenses

    All you ever wanted was to write a song as perfect as
    "Take the skinheads bowling" but of course you never did
    Ah you would have settled for a lifetime in that lover who swapped you for
    another and much inferior kid
    You lost most of your money and your tan and your muscles
    On your last trip to Brussels with your Italian pet
    And you didn't get laid and you didn't get paid
    And you havn't even made a good song of it yet
    All the words she worte to you were spelt wrong or were lies
    And she bought black contact lenses when you said you liked her eyes

    Goodbye to Berlin


    Love theme from "Yeats:The Movie"

    Put another pint of acid in the battery of hate
    You're the one I really want to mutilate

    Still Life With Girl


    Bouncing Off the Boulders

    She waited for me once, beneath a dead tree
    To tell me by moonlight, she'd never loved me
    I was surprised, though I should have suspected as much
    Since she'd stolen my wheelchair, and broken my crutch
    And as she dumped my body, over the cliff
    I said to myself, "I wonder if..."
    I said to myself, as I began to descend
    "I wonder if this could perhaps be the end"
    I wondered aloud as I bounced off the boulders
    "Has the burden of love been removed from my shoulders
    I pondered aloud as I bled on the sand
    "What she's trying to say here I dont understand"
    I said to myself as my blood stained the sea
    "Now what could it be that she's saying to me?"

    The Best Things in Life are Mine

    The spirit is weak so she adds a little vodka
    Goes to bed perchance to sleep
    Count the men whove been there then she counts the cost
    Pretty cheap
    She murmurs "Everything I touch turns to me and says
    'Can I stay'"
    She says "I feel fine
    The best things in life are mine"
    She says "Gosh I'm wrecked"
    She is perfectly correct
    She says
    "And sometimes I feel so young
    And sometimes I feel like this
    But the best things in life are mine
    Oh yes.."

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