 |
Better Late: Repartée Rules At Last Night's Tera Show
 At The Tera Show last night, a discussion in the green room between Chloe, Julie Meadows and VCA publicist Mischa was joined by new VCA contract player Tawny Roberts, breathless from the climb up the stairs, who plopped into a chair and flipped up her top to show off her new boobs. The colloquy was interrupted by Joone yelling "Five minutes!" and the group began to mill into the studio.
Chloe walks into the studio and starts to inspect the wall decorated with posters for Forbidden Tales and Island Fever. "Who's this chick all over the walls?" she asks, before sitting down next to Julie Meadows. A cameraman and a reporter from channel 13 are here, and the cameraman asks if everybody is okay with being photographed. Meanwhile, Chloe is discussing Wuthering Heights with Meadows: "It's supposed to be so romantic. This guy was an asshole."
The pre-show hubbub does not slow down as the clock counts down to 7:00, and Joone calling "30 seconds" doesn't help. If anything, it makes matters worse as people continue to joke with each other and chat. The show gets off the ground at 7:05, with Tera saying "We have two of VCA's hottest contract girls" and getting interrupted with yells of "Three!"
Tera first welcomes her new Digital Playground stablemate Devon, who just signed an exclusive contract. "If you aren't familiar with Devon, she won Best Interactive DVD at the AVN Awards." They both just shot stills for Revolver magazine, Devon with her friend Tabitha Stevens. "Do you get anxious because you haven't shot for a while?" Tera asks, and Devon says she has still been working for her Website and that's been keeping her busy. Tera sends her off with a hug and a "You better make good movies."
Alone again, Tera shows off the new Playboy and last month's Penthouse, both of which featured her on the cover, and points out that she spent last weekend in Florida, in Orlando and... she pauses... "Cape Canaveral?" Tera smiles triumphantly at saying the still-unfamiliar word. She promos the next Tera Show, which will feature the second Empire Awardsfrom Adult DVD Empire on Friday the 22nd with guests Sam Phillips and Nikki Nova.
Before starting the show proper, Tera reads the trivia question: "Name the director who created Hustler's Barely Legal series. I could tell you stories about this guy... Let's bring out Chloe."
Chloe comes in, sits on the couch. "Hi, I'm Chloe. And she hates girls," she says, pointing at Tera.
"I do not," Tera protests, and follows up with "and I can too spell my name." Tera and Chloe were signing side-by-side once, Chloe explains, and Tera started leaving the "R" out of "Patrick" in her autographs and Chloe has never let her forget it. Like tonight.
"You don't do girl/girl either," Chloe says.
"I never have. And anybody who says they have pictures is lying. I don't know what to do."
"Do what you do to yourself," Chloe advises.
"I don't."
"I don't either," Chloe says, explaining that a playground accident desensitized the nerve endings in her clit when she was a child.
The topic moves to fisting, and Tera offers her hand for inspection. "You put your hand like this," Chloe explains, pointing Tera's fingers and tucking the thumb under. "Then you close your hand like this," she says, bending her fingers toward the palm. "And if you move your forefinger like this," Chloe squirms in remembered pleasure.
The question of Chloe's awards comes up, and she reels them off like Pete Rose reciting his stats. "Ten AVN's, six, XRCOs, and one from Adult Stars Magazine for 'Best Actress — Anal.' That's what it says: 'Best Actress, dash, Anal.'"
The ASM awards are voted on by fans. "You know, 'fan' is short for 'fanatic,'" Chloe observes. They postulate what an awards show voted on by the stars would be like and then, by e-mail request, de-top at 7:24. "Do you get little hairs around your breasts?" Chloe asks Tera. "I do!" Tera replies. They start to talk ethnicities: "I'm part Thai, and people walk up to me and start speaking Thai to me," Tera says. "I smile..."
"I'm Italian," Chloe says. "I'm just waiting for the mole with the hair."
Enter Julie Meadows, who drops her top immediately, 7:26 for those of you keeping score at home. She's from Texas, originally, and says where she lived and for how long. They try to add them up when Chloe says "I'm 30. Three-oh."
Tera talks about a recent trip she made to a military base. When she was introduced, a six-year-old girl asked her mother "Who is she?" and the mother said she was a nude model. The little girl wanted to meet Tera, so her mother took her up and introduced her, and the little girl told Tera that she must be a very good nude model, because of all the cheering. Tera said "I signed a picture for her. I said, 'May they all someday cheer for you.'"
They look into the audience. Tera asks Chloe how many people there are here tonight. "There's at least" — she nudges Meadows — "3500 people out there."
On request of an e-mail, they moan to the camera. The request is from a guy who says he's a 19-year-old virgin.
They start talking about things they don't like about the business. "Don't you hate it when they try to cut your rate?" one asks.
"We're all under contract now. We don't have that problem," Chloe points out.
"We're all reminiscing. 'Back in 'Nam...'" Tera says, cracking everybody up. Except Tawny, who looks scared, sitting on the sidelines.
Chloe answers an e-mail. "How do you get on a box cover? Start directing. VCA will offer you a contract."
A guy asks Tera if she'll do a personal video. No. "I sell 'em on my Website ," Chloe says. "So do I," says Meadows
Tera asks Chloe and Meadows, "Do you hate it when you sweat under your breasts?" Chloe says "No, I don't have that problem," flashing her small breasts, then taking her scarf and wiping the sweat from under Tera's breasts. "This is going on eBay!" she grins, brandishing the scarf.
They talk about products they have. "We have air fresheners," Chloe says, indicating herself and Meadows. "And I have this new butt mold from Las Vegas Novelties . I just stuck my finger in it — my own ass — and I pulled it out and it puckers just like my ass does."
An e-mail comes in from a girl who wants to get into the adult business. Chloe takes it: "Know what kind of porn you want to do. I had to prove that I can act, because I was stuck in gonzo. I need people who can act. Otherwise stick to fuckin' gonzo."
Meadows continues: "Don't do it just for the money. Do it because you believe in it. And make sure you are an adult."
Another e-mail: What would you suggest I give my girlfriend for Valentine's Day? While Tera is reading this, Chloe looks into camera, holds her hands about a foot apart, whispers discreetly "A big cock." Nobody laughs, because nobody notices.
Tawny Roberts enters at 8:05. She drops her top, showing off her new boobs, to a round of applause. Meadows sizes her up and names her plastic surgeon. Roberts nods. Meadows called it.
Roberts is from Texas, and has been in the business for five months. She met Dayton through her boyfriend at the time, and Dayton asked her to do a g/g scene with her. "My first girl-girl was on camera," she smiles. Meanwhile, Chloe takes her scarf off and Meadows takes it and figure-8's it around her breasts. Big bucks on eBay.
Tera continues the Virgin Vixen questions. She lost her virginity at 16, she's done about 20 movies. Does she do anal? "...Yes." Chloe notices the pause. "So you're gonna play it by butt?"
Roberts plans to stay in the business for about five years, then she sees herself having a family. "Me too," Chloe says, then adds, wistfully, "I said that five years ago..."
They start talking about their choice of porn to watch at home: "O is for Orgy," Chloe says. "I like to watch gay porn." Meadows doesn't watch porn. "I know everybody in them. And I watch the lighting and go 'Ewww!'"
Tera talks about being in a hotel and watching hotel porn with Stephen St. Croix and all they had was an old Steven St. Croix movie and St. Croix said "I can't believe I'm watching my old stuff on TV."
Next, they start talking about slang for body parts. Tera doesn't like "beef curtains," Meadows has a distaste for "camel toe," Chloe doesn’t like "chowder" as a euphemism for semen.
Meadows sings an e-mail, with Chloe pretending to play bass on Tera's extended leg. "We only plug people who are plugging us," Tera grins, echoing Chloe's line from her last appearance. They high five.
An e-mail asks, "When was the last time you had really good sex?"
"After the last Tera Show," Tera says. "And then he asked me to sign a Penthouse," she snarls, crossing her eyes.
Roberts trumps that: "I had this really hot three-way with my husband and another girl. Just recently."
Tera, eager for the gossip, leans in: "Was it a girl in the business? Was she hot?"
Roberts shrugs. "It was Nikita Denise."
The room resounds with howls of frustration from everybody in the audience. All 3500 of us, perhaps excepting the channel 13 people, I didn't notice.
Tera turns to Chloe: "You do know about the five firemen?"
Chloe looks at her, straight-faced, serious. "Tera — I'm not one of your fans." Tera tells the story about her boyfriend the fireman and the time she did him and four other firemen in the firehouse.
As the show winds down, Tera protests that there are e-mails still to be read, so she divides them between the girls on the couch and they all start reading them aloud, very fast, until they lose it laughing.
And another Tera Show is in the record books. Afterwards, the channel 13 people do post-show interviews with the performers as the audience files out through the exit tunnels into the cool evening.
—Tod Hunter
The next Tera Show will be on Friday, February 22, at 7:00 Pacific time, and will feature the Adult DVD Empire's Empire Awards.
|
| |
