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  • Penguins for Sale?
    Business/Money Posted by Brendon Grunewald on 23 October 2001
    from the Animal Rights dept.
    Penguin Warehouse Inc is offering a number of penguin products available including live penguins. Not sure if this is a joke or not, but I'd sure like to find out. If you know or they visit this site please comment.

    <  |  >


    (Comment on this Article.)

    The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. 70South accepts absolutely no responsibility for them.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Jim Mortier on 25 October 2001
    I have done a reverse lookup search on thier phone# to no avail. I did a business search for Waukesha Wisconsin and found that it comes back to Penguin Spa and Sauna. I may attempt to call them and post the results tomorrow. Mort...

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Jim Mortier on 26 October 2001
    After a little research I have determined that this is a demo sight for They are commercial web site developers. Found this out by calling the Waukesha and Milwaukee chamber of commerce to find out the phone number of journeymilwaukee and calling them. Mort....

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Jim Mortier on 26 October 2001
    Belay my last. I just received a reply from James Knickelbein who's phone number I have been given but asked not to release. He informs me that this is part of his web design portfolio for his resume. I have asked if he was on the Ice but have received no reply. Mort...

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Dean Johnson on 02 November 2001
    Given that they state that they have a working penguin farm on Antartica, I would conclude that its a load of crap. That seems totally counter to the spirit of the treaty.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by James Knickelbein on 18 December 2001
    Hi all. This is my website. I've been wondering where I've been getting my site hits from, so I did a search today. Anyhow, I wouldn't say its a 'load of crap', but it is certainly a fictitious website, made for various reason. I have not ever been on the Ice (though this is certainly also not the only source of penguins, as their are many jungle species). Sounds fascinating though! Thanks for the interest. Thought I'd clear a few things up.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Jay Leonard on 19 February 2002
    YOU PIECE OF SHYT! tell me where I can get a penguin!!!!! I want a freakin penguin! Your site had me all hype ... way to tease the public!!! Damn YOU!

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by lauralie ackels on 06 March 2002
    where are the penguins? i want a male and female. This is a bunch of crap. someone let me know where i can get a penguin. this site said penguins for sale. WHERE ARE THEY?

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by matt on 05 April 2002
    i want a penguin. and i will have one dammit you fools toying with my emotions how excited i was. for shame, for shame.

    Someone tell me were I can get a penguin?
    by Muelldurr Brandumb on 29 April 2002
    I thought this site said real penguins for sale and if any body knows were I can get a Penguin email me at

    I want a penguin!!!!
    by Chuck on 02 June 2002
    I really really really want to have a penguin waddle around my house and bump into walls because I would be to cheap and amused to get it lazer surgery. I've wanted one, or two, or three for like a thousand years, and when i saw Ace Ventura I got jealous. Just tell me where i can get a real pengiun to tote around the block.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by c. on 12 August 2002
    hey, excuse me. i have been searching for penguins forever. i cannot find one for sale. PLEASE stop this crap. if anyone knows of penguins for sale, please email me at and let me know a price.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Justin on 26 September 2002
    I want one so bad, i am a huge linux user, so i thought it would be awesome to have a real live tux in my house, please if anyone knows where i can get one e-mail me at

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Gary A on 30 September 2002
    I would love to but a penguin but i cant find out how so please give me one they are my all time favorite animal.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by niki on 02 November 2002
    Do you have any Snares Island, Rockhopper, or Jackass Penguins for sale for $1000.00 or around at thousand dollars? Pease email me back asap.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by PINGU!!!!!!! on 24 November 2002
    i plan to take over the world with an army of penguins so could someone pleasetell me where to find them im gonn call the leader pingu and theyre gonna peck bad people and eat foyshee i like PENGUINS PEGUIS POLA BURS 2 BLUB BUH!!!!!!!

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Chris Hartzler on 25 November 2002
    I really want a baby rockhopper penguin.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Neal on 06 January 2003
    you can buy penguins they cost like 900 dollars for the cheapiest

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by stuart rayton on 29 January 2003
    If your a good caring person, you should definetly be able to get a penguin. Like who can honestly say they dont want a penguin. If any one gets a name for where you can get a penguin, please let me know.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by stuart rayton on 29 January 2003
    I sayt we all pitch in and rent a boat, we'll go down to antarctica and each of us can get our own.
    Or we can go rob the zoo.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Andrew on 06 February 2003
    Bud Ice should get the penguin back on the bottles

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by (not telling) on 08 February 2003
    I agree, I have already e-mailed them several times but they have not written back to me yet! I don't believe they are real! We also have phoned them but they don't seem to be picking up, But we will keep trying If you want I'll keep you updated! bye

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Amanda on 13 February 2003
    i want a penguin i could build a little house for it and it will hold in all cold air so my penguin could live, there so funny! if you know where find me a FAIRY PENGUIN FOR AT LEAST 1000.OO DOLLARS I WOULD BE SO HaPPY. IF YOU CAN FIND ME ONE PLEASE PUT THE PLACE WHERE I CAN GET IT ON THIS SITE! THANX!

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by The Riddler on 20 February 2003
    Riddle me this Riddle me that. Does a penguin taste like a little Brown Bat?

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Kelli on 20 March 2003
    My love for penguins is deep. I have a penguin tattoo that i designed myself. I can not get enough of penguins. I do not know where to buy one, but I want one so bad. No, penguins do not only live in cold, so if anyone thinks that, they should be hurt for saying that they love penguins. Obviously you can not love penguins, if you know so little about them. That is all for now. If you find out where to buy real live penguins, let me know. thanks have a nice day. kelli.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by bradley on 17 December 2003

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by holly on 17 December 2003
    I am buying a penguin from should go there

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Joe X on 09 May 2003

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by sharon on 18 June 2003
    boy, i hope so, i have been looking for a penguin for the longest time. I have the habitat set up for them and everything, just cant find the penguin.. my friends dying wish is to have one.. or atleast for a day... and i have been looking and looking and looking, so as soon as you find out please tell me :o) hopefully i can make his wish coem true for his birthday june 26th sincerely sharon

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by al lastra on 09 July 2003
    would really like to purchase a penguin........thank you

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Luizinho on 20 July 2003
    Hehe... I went to the website of this Penguin Warehouse crap some days ago, when browsing for some pics o´ penguins... I believed in that penguin selling crap for some moments, but then i saw a Ridiculous Photoshop-made fake picture of the company, in the company info menu. Truth to tell, this gave me an idea... Here in Rio de Janeiro - Brasil, every winter a lot of lost penguins arrive in the beaches... I have a friend on the local Fire Dept. which is responsible to get and care the penguins before they go to the zoo... I think i´ll talk to him to see if i can get a penguin for me! :P

    by Steven on 28 July 2003
    i want a penguin!!!!!! someone tell me where i can get one! is my email

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by kevin on 28 July 2003
    you cant buy penguins you stupid assholes....are you retarted?

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by amanda on 06 August 2003
    i also was thinking that it was a real website. i am really wnating a penguin. if anybody has ANY info on how to own a penguin let me know at thanx!

    i want a penguin!!
    by Mag on 12 August 2003
    you ********! i really want a penguin. i thought i could get one here. but noooo. do a good and stop this.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Jonathan Medford on 16 August 2003
    You do not have to set up cold environments for your penguins. In fact, Wayne Newton has three at his home in Las Vegas. Of the 48 species of penguins in the world only two can actually live in antartica. You would need to setup up a pool and a heated cave area for the winter time so the temp never falls below freezing. Since all species of penguins are on the endangered or threatened list, the only way you can legally buy one is to buy it from a zoo who has successfully breeded them. You better have the right environment set up for them. Does anyone know how much a zoo would charge?? Penguins really love people. They love to be pet, and love to swim with you. They just love being around you. I hoped this gave some of you some insight.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by tara on 16 September 2003
    I was looking for penguins to buy and I was just wondering how you would go about purchasing one from a zoo and how much they would cost, If anyone knows it would be a big help

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by no one likes kevin on 23 August 2003
    Hey kevin who msged on 28 July 2003... we all want a penguin...thats y we are on this if u dont want one...screw off...u stupid asshole...your a retarted... (just givin yea a tast of ur urslef)

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by rego on 05 September 2003
    well a FAKE site really offering penguins for sale really messes up our search. i have searched for penguins -- any species -- for several months to no avail. i havent given up, but in the mean time i am content to be owned by three TOUCANS and various other exotic critters that seem very happy living (and eventually breeding?) in my private captive breeding operation. some of the birds (Pyrrhuras) are nearly endangered, but themselves captive bred, but still very underbred in captivity, so I am sure I am helping cut down the import # sooner or later). one day i look forward to Penguins being experienced and appreciate in living color all parts of the world through greater captive breeding efforts. ... after all, where do all the babies the zoos around the world go after all? most cant go back to the wild, but end up in brokers hands or well sometimes dead. please post real links to real breeders of penguins whenever they do pop up. cheers!

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Jeff Pfaff on 16 October 2003
    I have wanted a penguin all my life, but never knew where to get one. I just want to know if you can really get one from the zoos. If anyone really knows if I can get a penguin, or if I an get one at the zoo, please let me know. Oh, and by the way, If you dont like penguins, don't come to this site. The only reason I want the penguin is so it can be my sex slave and bring me beer and such all day and all night. I will rip that fucking penguin a new asshole. I would rather marry a penguin than a human woman. I will then take it back to a distant universe where i will create a family of super penguins, which are half penguin half human. Please, i need a sex slave very badly. Help me please. Im jerking off to penguin porn as i am writing this and my keyboard is getting sort of sticky. please help. Thank you. Sincerely, Jeff (Hartwick) Pfaff

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by William Shanley on 16 October 2003
    I dont prefer penguins, but i do fuck all different types of turtles. I also like hamsters and small cats and dogs. This Jeff Pfaff character is very unrealistic. Penguins are hard to find. Dogs and cats are easier to manuveur and they can keep quiet. Anyway, be like me and concentrate all your efforts on domesticated animals. The males are much more fun to fool around with. Sincerely, Billy Bob Shanley

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Jeff Pfaff on 16 October 2003
    im sorry for my comments from before...i really didnt mean what i said about the penguins. im really attracted to little boys ages 3-7. i like em ripe and in the prime of their youth. oh and before i forget i have a really bad hair cut and i think i can punch a shark right in his face. "fuck you shark" oh and by the way...i really hate cotton, if i touch it i picture the 7 year old boys asses. sincerely jeffrey michael pfaff aka hartwick from oneonta college

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by will several fridges on 16 October 2003
    i too also like the feel of a penguins behind. i agree with jeffrey and admit to also being a penguin lover. but the difference is, i already have a penguin in my room right now... but iam HIS sex slave

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by RA Kyle of 6 long in Hulbert Hall on 16 October 2003
    I dont know about penguins and all that, but i do enjoy the company of other boys around my own age. I live across the hall from Jeff Pfaff and i frequently interrupt, then join in his little escapades with the little children and blow up dolls. I also want Hartwick to blow my mother fucking back out. Thank you. Hartwick, while you read this, I am in my room waiting for you, legs spread wide open. I smell like rotten dead fishies.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Rob Regan on 30 October 2003
    I bought a penguin from that site, it had rabies so i ate him. I cooked him with potatos n onions with a side of macaroni and cheese. I then ordered 2 more, yum. I am gay.
    Click to download attachment Sample.jpg
    9KB (9894 bytes)

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by birthday gal on 11 November 2003
    hi, i'm birthdaygal. my daddy's birthday is coming up, and he loves penguins, and i really want to get him a penguin..(but where would i keep it???) well, i hope you can tell me if there is any penguins for 100 dollars cause that's all i have.
    thanks, and please help me
    p.s.:i really am 11

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by J to the P-Faff on 19 November 2003
    Yea i love the penguins! I go to school and get no ass, so i am really gonna need that penguin we talked about. Listen, I have alot of problems. My haircut has gotten far worse, I tried to punch the shark and am now the pround recipient of a brand new plastic left arm. Anyway, I want the penguin, and if possible, the ressurrection of Fatty Patty, my one true love. I am going to the Carribean in a week and am gonna get shit-faced and look for penguins there as well. I really need to fix my haircut, and will now move on to attempting to punch Killer Whales. I love Oneonta, where there are many willing gay men with hampsters. These hamsters do things that are far too graphic to put on the web. I have to go now, my ass itches and my haircut is getting worse by the3 minute. Thank you for your time and please let me know if there are any gay men who wanna have fun. Thanks. Lovingly gay, Jeffrey P-Faff

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Will Selfridge on 19 November 2003
    Hartwick, That's not at all how it goes!! You rwally need to get over these penguins ma, seriously. You have to realize that penguins are not 5 feet tall, like in Billy Madison. STick to the dogs and cats dude. You suck in Madden and are not at all good at doing an Irish accent. you just bought a 718 hat, but I just realized that I live in a 607 area code. Yea your a genius. Fix your fucking haircut you douchebag blowjob.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by billy shanley on 19 November 2003
    hartwick, apparently you think that college is a vacation...but it really isnt...o i guess that is why you will finish this semester with only 9 credits...for some reason the 49ers are absolutely crushing you in madden even though you just created 3 characters that have a 96 rating...good luck with your never ending search for that special someone *the 4 ft penguin* im sure she....him...shim will find you oneday...oh my god you really suck at this football game....

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Cooch Windgrass on 24 November 2003
    To all you penguin lovers who would like to have one of the cute fellows as a pet: you would not like it. 1. All penguins are protected species. Owning a penguin would be like using an Elephant's foot as umbrella stand or a Gorilla's hand as ashtray. 2. 99% of you would try to maroon a penguin on some remote car park after the first week, because a penguin's not what you see in Walt Disney Movies or Coke adds, because: 3. Penguins only feed on live fish, if the fish's dead you have to force feed it. At least twice every day. Not to mention that after a week you would be at the brink of financial breakdown as you would have to get fresh, unsalted fish. Force feeding isn't nice either (it's the reverse of making someone puke). 4. Penguins have a nasty bite. They might look cute on TV. They aren't when you get too close. 5. You can't house train a penguin. It would shit on everything that gets in its way. And, mind you, they blast their stuff up to 2 meters wide. 6. You would have to be a looney, if you'd believe that there is such a thing as a 'Penguin Retailer' or a 'Penguin Farm'. And while I'm in an enlightening mood: 7. There are no penguins in the Arctic. There are no penguins in the jungle either. Penguins live in the Antarctic, in temperate rainforest of New Zealand and Australia, as well as in coastal desert regions of South Africa and South America. 8. Penguins do not get eaten by polar bears (there are less polar bears in the Antarctic than in there are penguins in the Arctic). 9. The Antarctic is also called the South Pole of our planet (that's the funny ball your standing on, yes believe me the earth is round you just can't see it from where you're standing) and the Arctic is the North Pole. 10. For Americans: the South Pole is somewhere beyond Texas and Mexico, The North Pole is somewhere beyond Canada.

    Re: Penguins for Sale?
    by Scott Sundstrom on 12 December 2003
    So is this site fake?

    by dave hill on 12 December 2003
    hi, my name is dave hill and i have been trying to buy a penguin for my christmas dinner for about three months, however, i cannot find any penguins big enough and i was wondering whether you had any abiut 6ft 5 and a bit called kevin. regards, Dave hill p.s. i think the idea of selling penguins is great!?!
    Click to download attachment magic lantern.jpg
    18KB (19102 bytes)

    i have the SAME problem yes yes YES!?!?
    by Charley rogers on 12 December 2003
    hi, my name is charley rogers and as dave hill, i too cannot find a penguin big enough for my christams dinner. However, i was wondering, how are there vegetarien penguins?? do they taste good with yellow snow? or salt? i was also wondering if you can marinade them in a spicy mexican sauce. can i keep a baby one in my sock drawer?? Also, i was wondering, how do you fit a very big penguin a microwave...PING! with regards, charley rogers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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