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07.08.03
a chile pepper day = hot
my nervous system is electric. fidgeting a lot. can't sleep. (so what else is new?)
part of it feels okay... i'm going through a big transition, and it's normal that my system would be askew. no
need to make my spirit more frantic than it is. i'm up. it makes sense. okay.
we got the house we wanted, and we're very relieved. lots of work ahead of us, but we think we can give a new life to
this old ranch house. and the yard... yay! totally unformed and waiting for us.
so i went outside a couple of hours ago (1 am) and smelled something earthy like peat or hay. really a wonderful, comforting smell
to experience in july. it made me think of compost and gardens and walks in fertile places and just the wild growth that can
come in a tangle of weeds or from spreading manure over fragile hopes.
"why a peat smell in july?" i wondered. "oh, the weather guy said there is a chance of rain tomorrow. maybe that?"
i investigated the air. no rain, no noticeable moisture. hmmmm...
i wondered if maybe the earth knows when it might rain. i wondered if the earth reaches up to the sky to entice the rain,
trying to meet it halfway in difficult circumstances (like july). i wondered if i was smelling the ground and weeds celebrating the sky --
doing their own rain dance, emitting scents and other bits of themselves in anticipation.
it's almost 3 am now. i just went outside to take some stuff to the garbage can (our 16-year-old dog has become incontinent... and in
the middle of the night she wandered through several rooms of the house to greet me happily, peeing innocently as she traveled) and noticed
a wonderful, encompassing fine mist in the air. ah! relief! and the peat smell was even stronger.
being out there in the middle of the night, i wondered if i was intruding on an intimate moment between lovers. in july, the earth and sky
are so separate, so full of their own energy. but in the softness of the night... maybe they give in to one another.
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