Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic
Violence
www.cpsdv.org
Publication Date: Not Available
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Sexual and Domestic Violence
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"Have pity on me, O God, for I am in distress
with sorrow my eye is consumed;
my soul also, and my body.
I am like a dish that is broken...
But my trust is in you, O God;
I say, 'You are my God' "
Psalms 31:10-15
Q: What is domestic violence?
A. Domestic violence refers to a pattern of violent and coercive behavior exercised by one adult in an intimate relationship over another. It is not "marital conflict,""mutual abuse,""a lover's quarrel," or "a private family matter." It may consist of repeated, severe beatings, or more subtle forms of abuse including threats and control.
Q: Who are the victims of domestic violence?
A. Statistics reflect that 95% of domestic violence victims are women, although men may also be victims. But regardless of who is being victimized, domestic violence is a serious problem that needs to be addressed by religious communities.
Q: How prevalent is domestic violence?
A. Surveys from the U.S. and Canada indicate that domestic violence occurs in 28% of all marriages. Researchers believe this estimate is too low since most domestic violence incidents are unreported.
Q: What are the four basic types of domestic violence?
Q: How do I know if someone is a victim of domestic violence?
A. Women who are being battered are as different from each other as non-battered women. They come from all walks of life, all races, all educational backgrounds, and all religions. A battered women might be the Vice-President of your local bank, your child's Sunday school teacher, your beautician or your dentist. Anyone experiencing any of the patterns of abuse listed above is a victim of domestic violence.
Q: Why does she stay?
A. She stays because she is terrified that he will become more violent if she leaves, that he will try to take the children, that she can't make it on her own.
Q: Who are the batterers?
A. Just as with battered women, men who batter fall into no specific categories. They also come from all class backgrounds, races, religions, and walks of life. They may be unemployed or highly paid professionals. The batterer may be a good provider, a sober and upstanding member of the community, and a respected member of his congregation.
Q: What can I do to be helpful if an abusive situation is revealed?
Q: How does religious doctrine address domestic violence?
A. Religious teachings can serve as either a roadblock or a resource in addressing domestic violence. There is nothing in Jewish or Christian teaching which can rightly be used to justify abuse. However, there are teachings which can be misused and distorted to suggest domestic violence may be acceptable or even God's will. When these teachings or interpretations of scripture are misused, they become roadblocks to ending the abuse.
For example, an interpretation of Shalom Bayit , the Jewish teaching about peace in the home, which places sole responsibility on the woman to "keep the peace" and obey her husband, would be a serious roadblock to addressing domestic violence for battered women. An understanding that the Shalom Bayit is everyone's responsibility offers help for the woman and accountability for the abuser.
Likewise, the Christian teaching that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church is a challenge to husbands to treat their wives with respect and love, not with violence and control. This teaching can serve as a valuable resource to challenge and prevent domestic violence.
As religious communities, our mandate is to minimize any roadblocks facing abused members of our congregations and to maximize the resources that exist within our religious traditions.
Q: What can the church or synagogue do to prevent domestic violence?
Q: What should I do if I believe I am a victim of domestic violence?
Q: How do I know if I'm a batterer?
If these are true for you, then you are probably hurting the people you love and you should get help from someone who will hold you accountable. Acknowledge that the abuse is your problem and have the courage to seek help.
Q. Where can I find more information?
For services for victims in the U.S. or Canada, look under "Abuse" or "Community Services" in the front of your phone book.
For services for victims in the U.S.:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800)799-SAFE (24 hours)
(800)787-3224(TDD)
Resources &technical assistance in the U.S.:
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
(800)537-2238
For services for victims in Canada:
Assaulted Women's Helpline
(416)863-0511 (24 hours)
For French-speaking women in Canada:
SOS Femmes
(800) 387-8603 (in Canada, 24 hours)
For educational materials in Canada:
National Clearinghouse on Family Violence
(800) 267-1291(within Canada)
Information on religious issues and domestic violence:
CPSDV
936 North 34th Street, Suite 200
Seattle, WA 98103
http://www.cpsdv.org
Reading Material:
A Christian Resource: Keeping the Faith: Questions and
Answers for the Abused Women
by Rev. Marie M. Fortune
(Harper San Francisco, 1987)
A Jewish Resource: Shalom Bayit: A Jewish Response to
Child Abuse and Domestic Violence
by Ian Russ, Sally Weber and Ellen Ledley
The Shalom Bayit Committee,
6851 Lennox Avenue, Panorama City,
CA 91405, 1993
This document was not developed by Violence Against Women Online Resources. The document's author or sponsoring organization granted VAWOR permission for placement on this site. Points of view in this document are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the official position or policies of the U.S. Department of Justice.
This web site is a cooperative project of Office on Violence Against Women and Minnesota Center Against Violence & Abuse at the University of Minnesota and is supported by grant number 98-WT-VX-K001 awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice.
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©Copyright 1998-2004 Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse ( MINCAVA )
File Last Modified on: Mon Sep 15 11:29:16 2003