Archives: 1984 1978 : 1979 : 1980 : 1981 : 1982 1983 : 1985 : 1986 : 1987 : 1988 1989 : 1990 : 1991 : 1992 : 1993 1994 : 1995 : 1996 : 1997 : 1998 1999 : 2000 : 2001 Eddie Murphy was a "strategic guest star" in the Dudley Moore dud "Best Defense." The 1984 Stinkers Bad Movie Awards Nominees: Best Defense (Paramount Pictures) Director: Willard Huyuk Starring: Dudley Moore, Eddie Murphy, Kate Capshaw, George Dzundza, Helen Shaver When Eddie Murphy became an "overnight sensation" after the Christmas 1982 release of "48HRS," Paramount knew it needed another "Eddie Murphy" project in theaters right away to capitalize on his fame. But during the next year, he was only able to complete one film due to his hectic "Saturday Night Live" work schedule. That film, "Trading Places" co-starring Dan Aykroyd, was a worldwide smash when it was released in June 1983. Desperate to keep striking while the iron was hot, greedy Paramount execs pressured the comedian to keep the projects coming as quickly as possible. He quit "Saturday Night Live" to concentrate on his film career and soon chose as his next project, "Beverly Hills Cop," a script that had originally been developed for Sylvester Stallone, but had been collecting dust at the studio for several years. Not content to wait until the Christmas 1984 opening of "Cop," the studio begged Murphy to appear in a film that would keep him visible during the summer months of 1984. He repeatedly declined until executives made him an offer he couldn't refuse: a reported one million dollars for just a few days work. The most suitable film in production at Paramount that Murphy could slip into turned out to be Dudley Moore's alleged comedy, "Best Defense." To his fans' outright dismay, Murphy's involvement would total less than 12 minutes of screen time. Seriously, a quick trip to the concession stand or the restroom during this movie and you'd miss half of Eddie's scenes! The film plot revolves around a defense industry technician (Moore) who discovers that a newly designed tank doesn't work. Moore's storyline takes place in 1982 and Murphy's scenes take place in 1984. Confused? You're not alone. Murphy is the tank driver who (under fire) discovers Moore is right. More of an endurance test than a comedy, the studio's biggest blunder was promoting Murphy as a "strategic guest star" on posters and in newspaper ads. The comedian's one- and two-minute segments were haphazardly dropped in every half hour or so to break up the monotony. Fans who blinked and missed Murphy literally booed this film off the screen. By Christmas 1984, the stench of "Best Defense" was a distant memory and Murphy's first starring vehicle, "Beverly Hills Cop," was setting box office records around the world. DVD/VHS Bolero (Cannon Films) Director: John Derek Starring: Bo Derek, George Kennedy, Andrea Occipiniti, Ana Obregon, Olivia d'Abo Boring sex fantasy fails miserably to capitalize on Bo Derek's sensational breakout performance in "10." A real bust. And in her motion picture debut, British actress Olivia d'Abo (who would later play the rarely seen older sister in the TV series "The Wonder Years") gives one of the most over the top supporting performances of the decade. This film is SO BAD, it must be seen to be believed! VHS only. Dune (Universal Pictures) Director: David Lynch Starring: Kyle MacLachlan, Francesca Annis, Brad Dourif, Jose Ferrer, Linda Hunt, Virginia Madsen, Sting, Dean Stockwell, Max Von Sydow, Patrick Stewart, Sean Young Incoherent adaptation of Frank Herbert's sci-fi novel takes us to the year 10,191 and an intergalactic struggle to control a life extending spice found on only one planet. When it was determined that the film's opening narration and visuals (meant to set up the premise of the film) left audience members scratching their heads in bewilderment, Universal Pictures had ushers at theaters running this overlong piece of junk hand out cheat sheets to filmgoers in the hopes of better explaining the storyline. It didn't help. VHS Widescreen/DVD The Gods Must Be Crazy (Mimosa/Trimark) Director: Jamie Uys Starring: Marius Weyers, Sandra Prinsloo, N!xau, Louw Verwey, Michael Thys Filmed in 1981 and released internationally in 1983, "The Gods Must Be Crazy" became a critical darling and fan favorite around the world. "Godsmania" hit the United States in 1984 with critics and the public flocking to theaters to catch a glimpse. It is the only occasionally funny escapades of an African bushman who discovers a Coke bottle falling from the sky and assumes it is a gift from God, intertwined with a less funny (and totally unrelated) plot featuring an annoying couple. The dismal production values and director Uys' irritating manipulation of the film in the editing room (in Keystone Cops fashion he speeds up or slows down the action, and jarringly cuts frames to make the action jump on screen), plus the lazy English dubbing and the tedious parallel plot of a bumbling microbiologist and a schoolteacher derail any charm this film might have had. It is not nearly as funny, charming or watchable as many die-hard "Gods" fanatics would have you believe. An additional subplot involving a group of gun-happy terrorists that kidnaps schoolchildren also isn't very funny. The basic premise is clever and there is a nice parable about "modern civilization" being too modern for its own good, but this DVD belongs in the drama section of your local video store, not on the comedy shelf. Going into this with any kind of expectations will leave you bitterly disappointed. DVD Rhinestone (20th Century Fox) Director: Bob Clark Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Dolly Parton, Richard Farnsworth, Ron Liebman, Tim Thomerson A country singer (Dolly Parton) bets she can turn anyone - even a New York City cabbie (Sylvester Stallone) - into a country singer. There are no laughs, but there are some awful songs. VHS only. The worst film of 1984: Dune (Universal Pictures) About the 1984 ballot picks: 1984 was a profoundly bad year for movies. Other titles that almost made the final ballot were: Beat Street Body Rock Breakin' Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo Cannonball Run II Cheech & Chong's The Corsican Brothers City Heat Exterminator 2 Give My Regards To Broad Street Hard To Hold Hot Dog ... The Movie The Ice Pirates Irreconcilable Differences Joy of Sex The Lonely Guy Oh, God! You Devil Red Dawn Sahara Sheena, Queen of the Jungle Silent Night, Deadly Night Slapstick (of Another Kind) Supergirl Teachers Top Secret! Where The Boys Are '84