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A Little Night Music
Music: Stephen Sondheim
Lyrics: Stephen Sondheim
Book: Hugh Wheeler
Premiere: Sunday, February 25, 1973
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1.Now
2.Later
3.Soon
4.Now / Later / Soon
5.The Glamorous Life
6.Remember?
7.You Must Meet My Wife
8.Liaisons
9.In Praise of Women
10.Every Day a Little Death
11.A Weekend in the Country
12.The Sun Won't Set
13.Interludes
14.It Would Have Been Wonderful
15.Perpetual Anticipation
16.Send In the Clowns
17.The Miller's Son
18.Send In the Clowns (Reprise)


1.Now

FREDRIK:
Now, as the sweet imbecilities
Tumble so lavishly
Onto her lap,
Now, there are two possibilities:
A, I could ravish her,
B, I could nap.
Say
It's the ravishment, then we see
The option
That follows, of course:
A,
The deployment of charm, or B,
The adoption
Of physical force.
Now, B might arouse her,
But if I assume
I trip on my trouser
Leg crossing the room...
Her hair getting tangled,
Her stays getting snapped,
My nerves would be jangled,
My energy sapped...
Removing her clothing
Would take me all day,
And her subsequent loathing
Would turn me away,
Which eliminates B
And which leaves us with A.

Now, insofar as approaching it,
What would be festive
But have its effect?
Now, there are two ways of broaching it:
A, the suggestive,
And B, the direct.
Say
That I settle on B, to wit,
A charmingly
Lecherous mood,
A,
I could put on my nightshirt or sit
Disarmingly,
B, in the nude.
That might be effective;
My body's all right--
But not in perspective
And not in the light.
I'm bound to be chilly
And feel a buffoon,
But nightshirts are silly
In mid-afternoon.
Which leaves the suggestive,
But how to proceed?
Although she gets restive,
Perhaps I could read.
In view of her penchant
For something romantic,
De Sade is to trenchant
And Dickens too frantic,
And Stendhal would ruin
The plan of attack,
As there isn't much blue in
"The Red and the Black."
De Maupassant's candour
Would cause her dismay,
The Brontes are grander
But not very gay,
Her taste is much blander,
I'm sorry to say,
But is Hans Christian Ander-
Sen ever risque?
Which eliminates A...

Now, with my mental facilities
Partially muddied
And ready to snap,
Now, though there are possibilities
Still to be studied,
I might as well nap.
Bow
Though I must
To adjust
My original plan,
How
Shall I sleep
Half as deep
As I usually can,
When now I still want and/or love you,
Now as always,
Now, Anne?



2.Later

HENRIK:
Later...
When is later?
All you ever hear is "Later, Henrik, Henrik, later."
"Yes, we know, Henrik,
Oh, Henrik,
Everyone agrees, Henrik,
Please, Henrik!"
You have a thought you're fairly bursting with,
A personal discovery or problem, and it's:
"What's your rush, Henrik?
Shush, Henrik!
Goodness, how you gush, Henrik!
Hush, Henrik!"
You murmur:
"I only--
It's just that--"
"For God's sake, later, Henrik!"
"Henrik...
Who is Henrik?
Oh, that lawyer's son, the one who mumbles.
Short and boring,
Yes, he's hardly worth ignoring,
And who cares if he's all dammed--"
I beg your pardon--
"Up inside?"
As I've often stated,
It's intolerable being tolerated.
"Reassure Henrik,
Poor Henrik.
Henrik, you'll endure
Being pure, Henrik."
Though I've been born, I've never been!
How can I wait around for later?
I'll be ninety on my deathbead
And the late, or, rather, later, Henrik Egerman.
Doesn't anything begin?



3.Soon

ANNE:
Soon, I promise,
Soon, I won't shy away,
Dear old--
Soon, I want to.
Soon, whatever you say.
Even now,
When you're close and we touch,
And you're kissing my brow,
I don't mind it too much.
And you'll have to admit I'm endearing,
I help keep things humming,
I'm not domineering--
What's one small shortcoming?
And think of how I adore you,
Think of how much you love me.
If I were perfect for you,
Wouldn't you tire of me
Soon,
All too soon,
Dear old--



4.Now / Later / Soon

ANNE: HENRIK: FREDRIK [asleep]:
Soon, Later... Now,
I promise. When is later? As the sweet imbecilities
Soon, All you ever hear is Trip on my trouser leg,
I won't shy away, "Yes, we know, Henrik, Stendhal elimanates A...
Oh, Henrik,
Dear old-- Everyone agrees,
Henrik, please,
Henrik..."
Soon, As I've
I want to. Often stated,
Soon,
Whatever you say. When? But when?
Even now, Maybe Maybe

When you're close Soon, soon, Later,
And we touch, I'll be ninety When I'm kissing your brow
And you're kissing And dead.
My brow And I'm stroking your head,
I don't mind it I don't mind it
Too much. Too much. You'll come into my bed.
And you'll have to Since I have to And you have to
Admit Admit Admit
I'm endearing, I find peering I've been hearing
I help Through life's All those tremulous cries,
Keep things humming, Grey windows
Impatiently Patiently
I'm not Not Not
Domineering-- Very cheering. Interfering
What's one Do I fear death? With those tremulous thighs.
Small shortcoming? Let it come to me Come to me
And think of Now, Soon,
How I adore you,
Think of Now, Soon,
How much you love me.
If I were perfect Now, Soon,
For you,
Wouldn't you Now... Soon...
Tire of me
Later? Come to me soon, Come to me soon,
We will, If I'm dead Straight to me,
Later. I can wait. Never mind how.
We will, How can I live Darling, now--
Soon... Until later? I still want and/or
Later... Love you,
Soon...
Later... Now as always,
Now...
Desiree!



5.The Glamorous Life

FREDRIKA:
Ordinary mothers lead ordinary lives,
Keep the house and sweep the parlor,
Cook the meals and look exhausted.
Ordinary mothers, like ordinary wives,
Fry the eggs and dry the sheets
And try to deal with facts--
Mine acts!

DESIREE:
Darling, I miss you a lot,
But, darling, this has to be short,
As mother is getting a plaque
From the Halsingborg Arts Council Amateur Theatre Group.
Whether it's funny or not,
I'll give you a fuller report
The minute they carry me back
From the Halsingborg Arts Council Amateur Theatre Group.
Love you.

QUINTET:
Unpack the luggage, la la la,
Pack up the luggage, la la la,
Unpack the luggage, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

MR. SEGSTROM:
Ice in the basin, la la la,

MR. ERLANSEN:
Cracks in the plaster, la la la,

MRS. ANDERSSEN:
Mice in the hallway, la la la,

QUINTET:
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!
Run for the carriage, la la la,
Wolf down the sandwich, la la la,
Which town is this one, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

MADAME ARMFELDT:
Ordinary daughters ameliorate their lot,
Use their charms and choose their futures,
Breed their children, heed their mothers.
Ordinary daughters, which mine, I fear, is not,
Tend each asset, spend it wisely
While it still endures--
Mine tours!

DESIREE:
Mother, forgive the delay.
My schedule is driving me wild.
But, mother, I really must run--
I'm performing in Rottwig, and don't ask "where is it,"
Please...
How are you feeling today?
And are you corrupting the child?
Don't.
Mother, the minute I'm done
With performing in Rottwig, I'll come for a visit
And argue.

QUINTET:
Mayors with speeches, la la la,
Children with posies, la la la,
Half-empty houses, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life!

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Cultural lunches,

QUINTET:
La la la,

MRS. ANDERSSEN:
Dead floral tributes,

QUINTET:
La la la,

MR. LINDQUIST:
Ancient admirers,

QUINTET:
La la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life.

DESIREE:
Pack up the luggage, la la la,
Unpack the luggage, la la la,
Mother's surviving, la la la,
Leading the glamorous life.
Cracks in the plaster, la la la,
Youngish admirers, la la la,
Which one was that one, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous life.

DESIREE & QUINTET:
Bring up the curtain, la la la,
Bring down the curtain, la la la,
Bring up the curtain, la la la,
Hi-ho, the glamorous...

DESIREE:
Life!



6.Remember?

MR. LINDQUIST:
Remember?

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Remember?
The old deserted beach that we walked--
Remember?

MR. LINDQUIST:
Remember?
The cafe in the park where we talked--
Remember?

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Remember?

MR. LINDQUIST:
The tenor on the boat that we chartered,
Belching "The Bartered Bride"--

BOTH:
Ah, how we laughed! Ah, how we cried!

MR. LINDQUIST:
Ah, how you promised, and ah, how I lied.

MRS. NORDSTROM:
That dilapidated in--
Remember, darling?

MR. LINDQUIST:
The proprietess's grin,
Also her glare.

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Yellow gingham on the bed--
Remember, darling?

MR. LINDQUIST:
And the canopy in red,
Needing repair.

BOTH:
I think you were there.

MRS. NORDSTROM:
The local village dance on the green--
Remember?

MR. LINDQUIST:
Remember?
The lady with the large tambourine--
Remember?

MRS. NORDSTROM:
The one who played the harp in her boa
Thought she was so adept.

BOTH:
Ah, how we laughed! Ah, how we wept!
Ah, how we polka'd--

MRS. NORDSTROM:
And ah, how we slept!
How we kissed and how we clung--
Remember, darling?

MR. LINDQUIST:
We were foolish, we were young--

BOTH:
More than we knew.

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Yellow gingham on the bed,
Remember, darling?
And the canopy in red--

MR. LINDQUIST:
Or was it blue?

MRS. SEGSTROM:
The funny little games that we played--
Remember?

MR. ERLANSEN:
Remember?
The unexpected knock of the maid--
Remember?

MRS. ANDERSSEN:
Remember?
The wine that made us both rather merry
And oh so very frank--

ALL:
Ah, how we laughed! Ah, how we drank!

MR. ERLANSEN:
You acquiesced--

MRS. ANDERSSEN:
And the rest
Is a blank.

MR. LINDQUIST:
What we did with your perfume--

MR. ERLANSEN:
Remember, darling?

MRS. SEGSTROM:
The condition of the room
When we were through...

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Our inventions were unique--
Remember, darling?

MR. LINDQUIST:
I was limping for a week,
You caught the flu.

ALL:
I'm sure it was...you.



7.You Must Meet My Wife

FREDRIK:
She lightens my sadness,
She livens my days,
She bursts with a kind of madness
My well-ordered ways.
My happiest mistake, the ache of my life:
You must meet my wife.
She bubbles with pleasure,
She glows with surprise,
Disrupts my accustomed leisure
And ruffles my ties.
I don't know even now quite how it began.
You must meet my wife, my Anne.
One thousand whims to which I give in,
Since her smallest tear turns me ashen.
I never dreamed that I could live in
So completely demented, contented a fashion.
So sunlike, so winning,
So unlike a wife.
I do think that I'm beginning
To show signs of life.
Don't ask me how at my age one still can grow--
If you met my wife, you'd know.

DESIREE [speaking]: Dear Fredrik, I'm just longing to meet her. Sometime.

FREDRIK:
She sparkles...

DESIREE:
How pleasant.

FREDRIK:
She twinkles...

DESIREE:
How nice.

FREDRIK:
Her youth is a sort of present--

DESIREE:
Whatever the price.

FREDRIK:
The incandescent--what?--the--

DESIREE [offering a cigarette]:
Light?

FREDRIK:
--of my life.
You must meet my wife.

DESIREE:
Yes, I must. I really must. Now--

FREDRIK:
She flutters.

DESIREE:
How charming.

FREDRIK:
She twitters.

DESIREE:
My word!

FREDRIK:
She floats.

DESIREE:
Isn't that alarming?
What is she, a bird?

FREDRIK:
She makes me feel I'm--what?--

DESIREE:
A very old man.

FREDRIK:
Yes--no!

DESIREE:
No?

FREDRIK:
But--

DESIREE:
I must meet your Gertrude.

FREDRIK:
My Anne.

DESIREE:
Sorry--Anne.

FREDRIK:
She loves my voice, my walk, my mustache,
The cigar, in fact, that I'm smoking.
She'll watch me puff until it's just ash,
Then she'll save the cigar butt.

DESIREE:
Bizarre, but
You're joking.

FREDRIK:
She dotes on--

DESIREE:
Your dimple.

FREDRIK:
My snoring.

DESIREE:
How dear.

FREDRIK:
The point is, she's really simple.

DESIREE:
Yes, that much seems clear.

FREDRIK:
She gives me funny names--

DESIREE:
Like?

FREDRIK:
"Old Dry-as-Dust."

DESIREE:
Wouldn't she just?

FREDRIK:
You must meet my wife.

DESIREE:
Yes, I must, yes, I must.

FREDRIK:
A sea of whims that I submerge in,
Yet so loveable in repentance.
Unfortunately still a virgin,
But you can't force a flower--

DESIREE:
Don't finish that sentence!
She's monstrous!

FREDRIK:
She's frightened.

DESIREE:
Unfeeling!

FREDRIK:
Unversed.
She'd strike you as unenlightened--

DESIREE:
No, I'd strike her first.

FREDRIK:
Her reticence, her apprehension--

DESIREE:
Her crust!

FREDRIK:
No!

DESIREE:
Yes!

FREDRIK:
No!

DESIREE:
Fredrik!

FREDRIK:
You must meet my wife.

DESIREE:
Let me get my hat and my knife!

FREDRIK:
What was that?

DESIREE:
I must meet your wife.

FREDRIK: DESIREE:
Yes, you must. Yes, I must.



8.Liaisons

MME. ARMFELDT:
At the villa of the Baron De Signac,
Where I spent a somewhat infamous year,
At the villa of the Baron De Signac
I had ladies in attendance,
Fire-opal pendants...

Liaisons! What's happened to them?
Liaisons today.
Disgraceful! What's become of them?
Some of them
Hardly pay their shoddy way.

What once was a rare champagne
Is now just an amiable hock,
What once was a villa, at least,
Is "digs."
What once was a gown with train
Is now just a simple little frock,
What once was a sumptuous feast
Is figs.
No--not even figs--raisins!
Ah, liaisons!
Now, where was I? Where was I? Oh, yes...

At the palace of the Duke of Ferrara,
Who was prematurely deaf but a dear,
At the palace of the Duke of Ferrara
I acquired some position
Plus a tiny Titian...

Liaisons! What's happened to them?
Liaisons today.
To see them--indiscriminate
Women, it
Pains me more than I can say,
The lack of taste that they display!

Where is style?
Where is skill?
Where is forethought?
Where's discretion of the heart?
Where's passion in the art?
Where's craft?
With a smile
And a will
But with more thought,
I acquired a chateau
Extravagantly o-
Verstaffed.

Too many people muddle sex
With mere desire,
And when emotion intervenes
The nets descend.
It should on no account perplex,
Or worse, inspire;
It's but a pleasurable means
To a measurable end.
Why does no one comprehend?
Let us hope this lunacy's just a trend.
Now where was I? Where was I? Oh, yes...

In the castle of the King of the Belgians,
(We would visit through a false chiffonier)
In the castle of the King of the Belgians
Who, when things got rather touchy,
Deeded me a duchy...

Liaisons! What's happened to them?
Liaisons today.
Untidy! Take my daughter, I
Taught her, I
Tried my best to point the way.
I even named her Desiree.

In a world where the kings are employers,
Where the amateur prevails
And delicacy fails
To pay,
In a world where the princes are lawyers,
What can anyone expect
Except to recollect
Lia....

[She falls asleep.]



9.In Praise of Women

CARL-MAGNUS:
She wouldn't...therefore they didn't...
So then it wasn't...not unless it...would she?
She doesn't...God knows she needn't...therefore it's not.
He'd never...therefore they haven't...
Which makes the question absolutely...could she?
She daren't...therefore I mustn't...what utter rot!
Fidelity is more than mere display;
It's what a man expects from life.
Fidelity like mine to Desiree
And Charlotte, my devoted wife.

The papers...he mentioned papers,
Some legal papers which I didn't see there.
Where were they, the goddamn papers she had to sign?
What nonsense! He brought her papers,
They were important, so he had to be there.
I'll kill him!...Why should I bother? The woman's mine!
Besides, no matter what one might infer,
One must have faith to some degree.
The least that I can do is trust in her
The way that Charlotte trusts in me.

Capable, pliable
Women, women...
Understanding and reliable,
Knowing their place.
Insufferable, yes, but gentle,
Their weaknesses are incidental.
A functional but ornamental
Race.
Durable, sensible
Women, women...
Very nearly indispensable
Creatures of grace.
God knows the foolishness about them,
But if one had to live without them,
The world would surely be a poorer,
If purer,
Place.

The hip-bath...about that hip-bath...
How can you slip and trip into a hip-bath?
The papers...where were the papers?
Of course, he might have taken back the papers.
She wouldn't...therefore they didn't...
The woman's mine!



10.Every Day a Little Death

CHARLOTTE:
Every day a little death
In the parlor, in the bed,
In the curtains, in the silver,
In the buttons, in the bread.
Every day a little sting
In the heart and in the head,
Every move and every breath
(And you hardly feel a thing)
Brings a perfect little death.

He smiles sweetly, strokes my hair,
Says he misses me.
I would murder him right there,
But first I die.
He talks softly of his wars,
And his horses, and his whores.
I think love's a dirty business.

ANNE:
So do I!

CHARLOTTE: ANNE:
I'm before him on my knees So do I...
And he kisses me.
He assumes I lose my reason,
And I do.
Men are stupid, men are vain,
Love's disgusting, love's insane,
A humiliating business.

ANNE:
Oh, how true!

CHARLOTTE:
Ah, well... ANNE:
Every day a little death
Every day a little death
In the parlor, in the bed,
On the lips and in the eyes,
In the curtains, in the silver, In the murmurs, in the pauses,
In the buttons, in the bread. In the gestures, in the sighs.
Every day a little sting
Every day a little dies
In the heart and in the head. In the looks and in the lies.
Every move and every breath,

BOTH:
(And you hardly feel a thing)
Brings a perfect little death.



11.A Weekend in the Country

PETRA:
Look, ma'am, an invitation,
Here, ma'am, delivered by hand.
And, ma'am, I notice the station-
Ary's engraved and very grand.

ANNE:
Petra, how too exciting!
Just when I need it!
Petra, such elegant writing,
So chic you hardly can read it!
What do you think?
Who can it be?
Even the ink--
No, here, let me...
"Your presence"--just think of it, Petra!
"Is kindly"--it's at a chateau!
"Requested"--etcet'ra, etcet'ra,
"Madame Leonora Armf--" Oh, no!

A weekend in the country--

PETRA:
We're invited?

ANNE:
What a horrible plot!
A weekend in the country--

PETRA:
I'm excited!

ANNE:
No, you're not.

PETRA:
A weekend in the country, just imagine--

ANNE:
It's completely depraved.

PETRA:
A weekend in the country!

ANNE:
It's insulting.

PETRA:
It's engraved.

ANNE:
It's that woman, it's that Armfeldt!

PETRA:
Oh, the actress?

ANNE:
No, the ghoul!
She may hope to make her charm felt,
But she's mad if she thinks I would be such a fool
As to weekend in the country.

PETRA:
How insulting!

ANNE:
And I've nothing to wear.

ANNE & PETRA:
A weekend in the country--

ANNE [hands the invitation back to Petra]:
Here! The last place I'm going is there.

[Later]

PETRA [to Fredrik]:
Guess what? An invitation!

ANNE:
Guess who? Begins with an "A."
"Armfeldt"--is that a relation
To the decrepit Desiree?

PETRA:
Guess when we're asked to go, sir?
See, sir, the date there.
Guess where? A fancy chateau, sir!

ANNE:
Guess, too, who's lying in wait there,
Setting her traps,
Fixing her face--

FREDRIK:
Darling, perhaps
A change of pace--

ANNE:
Oh, no!

FREDRIK:
A weekend in the country
Would be charming,
And the air would be fresh.

ANNE:
A weekend with that woman?

FREDRIK:
In the country--

ANNE:
In the flesh.

FREDRIK:
I've some business with her mother.

PETRA:
See, it's business.

ANNE:
Oh, no doubt!
But the business with her mother
Would be hardly the business I'd worry about.

FREDRIK & PETRA:
Just a weekend in the country--

FREDRIK:
Smelling jasmine--

ANNE:
Watching little things grow.

FREDRIK & PETRA:
A weekend in the country.

ANNE:
Go!

FREDRIK:
My darling, we'll simply say no.

ANNE:
Oh.

[Later]

ANNE [to Charlotte]:
A weekend!

CHARLOTTE:
How very amusing.

ANNE:
A weekend!

CHARLOTTE:
But also inept.

ANNE:
A weekend; of course we're refusing.

CHARLOTTE:
Au contraire! You must accept!

ANNE:
Oh, no!

CHARLOTTE:
A weekend in the country--

ANNE:
But it's frightful!

CHARLOTTE:
No, you don't understand.
A weekend in the country
Is delightful
If it's planned.
Wear your hair down, and a flower,
Don't use makeup, dress in white.
She'll grow older by the hour
And be hopelessly shattered by Saturday night.
Spend a weekend in the country.

ANNE:
We'll accept it!

CHARLOTTE:
I'd a feeling you would.

ANNE & CHARLOTTE:
A weekend in the country--

ANNE:
Yes, it's only polite that we should.

CHARLOTTE:
Good.

[Later]

CARL-MAGNUS:
Well?

CHARLOTTE:
I've an intriguing little social item--

CARL-MAGNUS:
Well?

CHARLOTTE:
Out of the Armfeldt family manse.

CARL-MAGNUS:
Well, what?

CHARLOTTE:
Merely a weekend, still, I thought it might am-
Use you to know
Who's invited to go,
This time with his pants.

CARL-MAGNUS:
You don't mean...

CHARLOTTE:
I'll give you three guesses.

CARL-MAGNUS:
She wouldn't...

CHARLOTTE:
Reduce it to two.

CARL-MAGNUS:
It can't be...

CHARLOTTE:
It nevertheless is.

CARL-MAGNUS:
Egerman!

CHARLOTTE:
Right! Score one for you.

CARL-MAGNUS:
A-ha!

CHARLOTTE:
A-ha!

CARL-MAGNUS:
A-ha...

CHARLOTTE:
A-ha?

CARL-MAGNUS:
A weekend in the country,
We should try it.

CHARLOTTE:
How I wish we'd been asked.

CARL-MAGNUS:
A weekend in the country,
Peace and quiet--

CHARLOTTE:
We'll go masked.

CARL-MAGNUS:
A weekend in the country...

CHARLOTTE:
Uninvited?
They'll consider it odd.

CARL-MAGNUS:
A weekend in the country,
I'm delighted.

CHARLOTTE:
Oh, my god.

CARL-MAGNUS:
And the shooting should be pleasant
If the weather's not too rough.
Happy birthday, it's your present.

CHARLOTTE:
But--

CARL-MAGNUS:
You haven't been getting out nearly enough.
And a weekend in the country--

CHARLOTTE:
It's perverted!

CARL-MAGNUS:
Pack my quiver and bow.

CHARLOTTE & CARL-MAGNUS:
A weekend in the country--

CARL-MAGNUS:
At exactly 2:30, we go.

CHARLOTTE:
We can't.

CARL-MAGNUS:
We shall!

CHARLOTTE:
We shan't!

CARL-MAGNUS:
I'm getting the car
And we're motoring down.

CHARLOTTE:
Yes, I'm certain you are,
And I'm staying in town.

CARL-MAGNUS: ANNE:
Go and pack my suits! We'll go.

CHARLOTTE: PETRA:
I won't! Oh, good!

CARL-MAGNUS: FREDRIK:
My boots! We will?
Pack everything I own that shoots!
ANNE:
CHARLOTTE: We should.
No! Pack everything white.

CARL-MAGNUS: PETRA:
Charlotte! Ma'am, it's wonderful news!

CHARLOTTE: FREDRIK:
I'm thinking it out. Are you sure it's all right?

CARL-MAGNUS: ANNE:
Charlotte! We'd be rude to refuse.

CHARLOTTE: FREDRIK:
There's no need to shout. Then we're off!

CARL-MAGNUS: PETRA: We are?
Charlotte!
FREDRIK: We'll take the car!
CHARLOTTE:
All right, then-- ALL THREE:
We'll bring champagne and caviar!

ALL:
We're off on our way,
What a beautiful day
For a weekend in the country,
How amusing,
How delightfully droll.
A weekend in the country,
While we're losing
Our control.
A weekend in the country,
How enchanting,
On the manicured lawns.
A weekend in the country,
With the panting
And the yawns.
With the crickets and the pheasants
And the orchards and the hay,
With the servants and the peasants,
We'll be laying our plans while we're playing croquet
For a weekend in the country,
So inactive
That one has to lie down.
A weekend in the country
Where--

HENRIK:
A weekend in the country, the bees in their hives,
The shallow worldly figures, the frivolous lives.
The devil's companions know not whom they serve,
It might be instructive to observe.

CARL-MAGNUS: FREDRIK: HENRIK:
Charlotte! We're off! A weekend in the country,
The bees
CHARLOTTE: PETRA: In their hives...
I'm thinking We are?
It out.
FREDRIK & ANNE:
CARL-MAGNUS: We'll take
Charlotte! The car.
MRS. SEGSTROM & MRS.
CHARLOTTE: FREDRIK, ANNE, PETRA: ANDERSSEN:
There's no need We'll bring champagne We're off! We are?
To shout. And caviar! We'll take the car!
We'll bring
MRS. NORDSTROM, MR. CARL-MAGNUS, Champagne
ERLANSEN, MR. LINDQUIST: CHARLOTTE, And caviar...
We're off on our way, FREDRIK,
What a beautiful day, ANNE & PETRA: HENRIK:
We're laying our plans We're off on The bees in
While we're playing croquet, Our way, Their hives...
Controlling ourselves What a
While strolling the lawns, Beautiful
Confiding our motives Day...
While hiding our yawns...

QUINTET: THE REST:
The weather is spectacular! We're off on our way,
What a beautiful day!

ALL:
With riotous laughter we quietly suffer
The season in town, which is reason enough for
A weekend in the country,
How amusing,
How delightfully droll.
A weekend in the country,
While we're losing
Our control.
A weekend in the country,
How enchanting,
On the manicured lawns.
A weekend in the country,
With the panting
And the yawns.
With the crickets and the pheasants
And the orchards and the hay,
With the servants and the peasants,
We'll be laying our plans while we're playing croquet
For a weekend in the country,
So inactive
That one has to lie down.
A weekend in the country
Where
We're twice as upset as in
Twice as upset as in
Twice as upset as in
Twice as upset as in...

CARL-MAGNUS: CHARLOTTE: ANNE, PETRA: FREDRIK: QUINTET:
Charlotte, We're A weekend! Are you sure Twice as upset
We're going! Uninvited! A weekend! You want to go? As in
Charlotte, We're A weekend! Are you sure Twice as upset
We're going! Uninvited! A weekend! You want to go? As in
Charlotte, We're A weekend! Are you sure Twice as upset
We're going! Uninvited! A weekend! You want to go As in
Charlotte, We're A weekend! Away and leave, Twice as upset
We're going! Uninvited! A weekend! Go and leave As in
We should A weekend! Twice as upset
Stay in... In As in

ALL:
Town!



12.The Sun Won't Set

MRS. ANDERSSEN
The sun sits low,
Diffusing its usual glow.
Five o'clock,
Twilight...
Vespers sound,
And it's six o'clock,
Twilight
All around.

QUINTET:
But the sun sits low,
As low as it's going to go.

MR. ERLANSEN:
Eight o'clock...

MR. LINDQUIST:
Twilight...

WOMEN:
How enthralling!

MR. ERLANSEN:
It's nine o'clock...

MR. LINDQUIST:
Twilight...

WOMEN:
Slowly crawling
Towards--

MR. ERLANSEN:
Ten o'clock...

MR. LINDQUIST:
Twilight...

WOMEN:
Crickets calling...

QUINTET:
The vespers ring,
The nightingale's waiting to sing,
The rest of us wait on a string.
Perpetual sunset
Is rather an unset-
Tling thing.

The sun won't set,
It's fruitless to hope or to fret,
It's dark as it's going to get.
The hands on the clock turn,
But don't sing a nocturne
Just yet.



13.Interludes

MRS. NORDSTROM:
The sun sits low
And the vespers ring,

MR. ERLANSEN:
And the shadows grow
And the crickets sing,
And it's--

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Look! Is that the moon?

MR. ERLANSEN:
Yes.
What a lovely afternoon!

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Yes.

MR. ERLANSEN:
The evening air
Doesn't feel quite right...

MRS. NORDSTROM:
In the not-quite glare
Of the not-quite night,
And it's--
Wait! Is that a star?

MR. ERLANSEN:
No.
Just the glow of a cigar.

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Oh.

MR. LINDQUIST:
The atmosphere's becoming heady,
The ambiance thrilling.

MRS. SEGSTROM:
The spirits unsteady,
The flesh far from willing.

MR. LINDQUIST:
To be perpetually ready
Is far from fulfilling.

MRS. SEGSTROM:
But wait! The sun is dipping.

MR. LINDQUIST:
Where?--You're right! It's dropping.
Look! At last it's slipping.

MRS. SEGSTROM:
Sorry, my mistake, it's stopping.

QUINTET:
The light is pink
And the air is still
And the sun is slink-
Ing behind the hill.
And when finally it sets,
As finally it must,
When finally it lets
The moon and stars adjust,
When finally we greet the dark
And we're breathing amen,

MRS. ANDERSSEN:
Surprise of surprises,
It instantly rises
Again.



14.It Would Have Been Wonderful

FREDRIK:
I should never have gone to the theatre.
Then I'd never have come to the country.
If I never had come to the country,
Matters might have stayed as they were.

CARL-MAGNUS:
Sir...

FREDRIK:
Sir...

If she'd only been faded,
If she'd only been fat,
If she'd only been jaded
And bursting with chat,
If she'd only been perfectly awful
It would have been wonderful.
If...if...
If she'd been all a-twitter
Or elusively cold,
If she'd only been bitter,
Or better, looked passably old,
If she'd been covered with glitter
Or even been covered with mold,
It would have been wonderful.
But the woman was perfection,
To my deepest dismay.
Well, not quite perfection,
I'm sorry to say.
If the woman were perfection,
She would go away,
And that would be wonderful.
Sir...

CARL-MAGNUS:
Sir...

If she'd only looked flustered
Or admitted the worst,
If she only had blustered
Or simpered or cursed,
If she weren't so awfully perfect
It would have been wonderful.
If...if...
If she'd tried to be clever,
If she'd started to flinch,
If she'd cried or whatever
A woman would do in a pinch,
If I'd been certain she never
Again could be trusted an inch,
It would have been wonderful.
But the woman was perfection,
Not an action denied,
The kind of perfection
I cannot abide.
If the woman were perfection
She'd have simply lied,
Which would have been wonderful.

FREDRIK:
If she'd only been vicious...

CARL-MAGNUS:
If she'd acted abused...

FREDRIK:
Or a bit too delicious...

CARL-MAGNUS:
Or been even slightly confused...

FREDRIK:
If she had only been sulky--

CARL-MAGNUS:
Or bristling--

FREDRIK:
Or bulky--

CARL-MAGNUS:
Or bruised--

BOTH:
It would have been wonderful.

CARL-MAGNUS:
If...

BOTH:
If...

FREDRIK:
If she'd only been wilful...

CARL-MAGNUS:
If she only had fled...

FREDRIK:
Or a little less skillful...

CARL-MAGNUS:
Insulted, insisting--

FREDRIK:
In bed--

CARL-MAGNUS:
If she had only been fearful--

FREDRIK:
Or married--

CARL-MAGNUS:
Or tearful--

FREDRIK:
Or dead--

BOTH:
It would have been wonderful.
But the woman was perfection,
And the prospects are grim;
That lovely perfection
That nothing can dim.
Yes, the woman was perfection,
So I'm here with him!

CARL-MAGNUS:
Sir...

FREDRIK:
Sir...

BOTH:
It would have been wonderful.



15.Perpetual Anticipation

[The three parts are sung simultaneously.]

MRS. NORDSTROM:
Perpetual anticipation is good for the soul
But it's bad for the heart.
It's very good for practicing self-control,
It's very good for morals, but bad for morale.
It's very bad.
It can lead to going quite mad.
It's very good for reserve and learning to do what one should.
It's very good.
Perpetual anticipation's a delicate art,
Playing a role,
Aching to start,
Keeping control
While falling apart.
Perpetual anticipation is good for the soul
But it's bad for the heart.

MRS. SEGSTROM:
Perpetual anticipation is good for the soul
But it's bad for the heart.
It's very good for practicing self-control,
It's very good for morals, but bad for morale.
It's too unnerving.
It's very good, though, to have things to contemplate.
Perpetual anticipation's a delicate art,
Aching to start,
Keeping control
While falling apart.
Perpetual anticipation is good for the soul
But it's bad for the heart.

MRS. ANDERSSEN:
Perpetual anticipation is good for the soul
But it's bad for the heart.
It's very good, though, to learn to wait.
Perpetual anticipation's a delicate art,
Keeping control
While falling apart.
Perpetual anticipation is bad for the heart.



16.Send In the Clowns

DESIREE:
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.
Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.
Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.
Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want--
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.



17.The Miller's Son

PETRA:
I shall marry the miller's son,
Pin my hat on a nice piece of property.
Friday nights, for a bit of fun,
We'll go dancing.
Meanwhile...

It's a wink and a wiggle and a giggle in the grass
And I'll trip the light fandango,
A pinch and a diddle in the middle of what passes by.
It's a very short road
From the pinch and the punch
To the paunch and the pouch
And the pension.
It's a very short road
To the ten thousandth lunch
And the belch and the grouch
And the sigh.
In the meanwhile,
There are mouths to be kissed
Before mouths to be fed,
And a lot in between
In the meanwhile.
And a girl ought to celebrate what passes by.

Or I shall marry the businessman,
Five fat babies and lots of security.
Friday nights, if we think we can,
We'll go dancing.
Meanwhile...

It's a push and a fumble and a tumble in the sheets
And I'll foot the highland fancy,
A dip in the butter and a flutter with what meets my eye.
It's a very short fetch
From the push and the whoop
To the squint and the stoop
And the mumble.
It's not much of a stretch
To the cribs and the croup
And the bosoms that droop
And go dry.
In the meanwhile,
There are mouths to be kissed
Before mouths to be fed,
And there's many a tryst
And there's many a bed
To be sampled and seen
In the meanwhile.
And a girl has to celebrate what passes by.

Or I shall marry the Prince of Wales,
Pearls and servants and dressing for festivals.
Friday nights, with him all in tails,
We'll have dancing.
Meanwhile...

It's a rip in the bustle and a rustle in the hay
And I'll pitch the quick fantastic,
With flings of confetti and my petticoats away up high.
It's a very short way
From the fling that's for fun
To the thigh pressing un-
Der the table.
It's a very short day
Till you're stuck with just one
Or it has to be done
On the sly.
In the meanwhile,
There are mouths to be kissed
Before mouths to be fed,
And there's many a tryst
And there's many a bed,
There's a lot I'll have missed
But I'll not have been dead
When I die!
And a person should celebrate everything
Passing by.

And I shall marry the miller's son...



18.Send In the Clowns (Reprise)

DESIREE:
Isn't it rich?

FREDRIK:
Are we a pair?
You here at last on the ground.

DESIREE:
You in mid-air.
Was that a farce?

FREDRIK:
My fault, I fear.

DESIREE:
Me as a merry-go-round.

FREDRIK:
Me as King Lear.
Make way for the clowns.

DESIREE:
Applause for the clowns.

FREDRIK & DESIREE:
They're finally here.
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