So long hidden
Your eyes from mine
Had I heard and refused to listen?
Had I been so unaware?
This knowing sinks within me now,
grounding me
giving substance
I had been so unprepared
never conscious
always suspicious, hunting underwater

To discover
I was never a solitary creature
though I walked my path
independent, and sometimes cruel
always touching, reaching out
stumbling in the grey darkness, skinning my knees
Willful
brushing up against my sharp edges, bleeding
colliding, caught by my own stone barricades and barbs
taking care to dab red-soaked rags at my wounds
tending the scars
challenging the pain
until I had learned its lesson

Strong-willed, stubborn
I am no gentle partner
but a steady companion, constant
unafraid
I will not waver
This much I know

So much that I know
Dark, shadowy corners randomly scattered
Only seeing clearly particular pieces of the puzzle
Keeps things interesting, keeps me curious

My journey, my life, my thoughts, my words

And now, sudden surprise
A twin, tethered through the same essence
walking an alternate path
slight deviation
a separate flesh
I see this face
and I question
my own sensibilities
this new reality
this new realm
This partnered vibration has entered my secret world
become a part of my journey
shared experience
Spirit made flesh, in separate pieces
inextricably, unavoidably linked
an astral fact, certain as lightning breath

So here I stand
Apart
Aware of this brother, so strangely connected
Echoes of truth over drumbeats
we appear to each other this way
Thought to thought, mind to mind, truth to truth

Breathing through water, returning to my element
Making the crossing under a starfield
pulled along silently, under the power of guardianship
this river so wide, mother ocean
I peer over the edge, into depths unknown
resigned, I have chosen this path, and it has chosen me
When do I reach the other side?

What might await there?

Separated by both time and space
I feel your call still
telling me I am a beacon to you, a guiding light
Joined at the core
we must be One
What sense is there to be made?
Hearing such a voice, such pathworking
the same roads chosen, similarities in symbols and self-expression
the same passion, no denying the creative drive
and wondering at the influence

My twin
essence as mine
a resonance which delves down into my body
matching and enhancing my own rhythm
so much more than the sum of our parts
I want to melt myself down,
seep through your pores
and permeate you
Prove to us both that we are made of the same material
Break through the barrier of the body machine
is this one mind?
is this one heart?
How to reconcile the individual, a reflected image with unique experience

To break through the mirror, to touch

To understand the connection, what to do with it
if there is anything that must be done

One source, two souls
the same eyes
blue, piercing, ageless light
siblings, of a sort
partners, in a sense
Dual essence, two bodies

Broken apart, on a mission of sensual adventure
perspectives in learning and discovery
Marking our time in spaces away, divided
gather up what we can
filling this one traveling basket of light
two handles
From different directions
Two paths leading to the same plateau
for the soul's vision quest

We keep colliding, no escaping
in altered states
both conscious and subterranean
Again, I question
significance
sanity
sensibility and sensation

I reach out, from my inner being
searching for your eyes
acknowledgement
Just once
to gaze deeply, to see myself, this same flame
present and burning bright
Bring to light this shared knowing
Complete this bond, a next step in the process

There was a partner all this time
twin soul
asking the same questions
pursuing the same revelations I seek
joint epiphany, divided
These two halves can never be truly made whole again
as we walk our paths
four feet, one vision
We will retire this carbon clothing we wear
abandoning these eyes, doorways by which we recognize one another
drifting back to collect ourselves, each other
joining then, into the solitary soul
Integrated experience and wisdom
one heart, at last

jsw
16 February 1997