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jblackwood

Saint Barthelemy
824 Posts
Posted - 09/09/2003 :  23:12:25  Show profile  Reply with Quote
Well, the internet is abuzz with talk about Marquis-Phillips wines so when I was picking up a couple wines to take to may folks' house for Labor Day, I couldn't resist the allure.

The Marquis-Phillips 2002 Shiraz, which I opened the night before, was what I expected. Plush, rich, fat fruit, vanilla, chocolate, and sugar. Well, maybe slightly worse than expected. Horrific. My folks liked it (though they debated whether or not it was better than Yellow-Tail Shiraz). I opted for the iced tea.

The Marquis-Phillips 2002 Sarah's Blend, which I also opened the night before, was something other expected. It was so fat, flat, smooth, seamless, rich and so chocolate-vanilla-and-strawberry like that I had a wine-marketing epiphany. This wine borders on wine product, in much the way Velveeta is related to cheese. It is so milky, sweet and chocolate-like that it is only a hop, skip and jump to the idea of Sparky Choco-Berry Wine Drinks at the 7-Eleven, made from grapes anywhere in the world but made to taste like melted ice cream flavors. And then a whole line of candy-bar flavored drinks with a little wine juice in them - Heath Bar Crunch Shiraz, M&Ms; Cabernet, etc. Who cares if wine tastes like Pauillac or Chambolle-Musigny or some other old-fashioned falvors when it can taste like CANDY or ICE CREAM! And you can make it by blending overripe grapes from across a continent, which means case production amounts are no limit for mass marketing? Plus you can label all those that don't want candy-flavored wine as hopelessly out of date snobs that are just behind the curve.

I'm not interested in drinking the wines, but I am interested in co-investing with Sparky (where do I find a prospectus?). So I can earn more money to buy more wine, the most universal of life impulses (or second most common).


Edited by - jblackwood on 09/10/2003 13:00:07

Joe Dressner

France
1371 Posts
Posted - 09/09/2003 :  23:55:58  Show profile  Visit Joe Dressner's home page  Reply with quote
Who can ever forget Stuart Yaniger's wonderful description of the Sparky wines!

Apparently, he took a bottle to some restaurant, where he was dining with some pals, and reported the following:

quote:

Nathan pulls out an odd-looking bottle, a present from Dan Phillips, the infamous 2000 Marquis Phillips Shiraz. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, but at the same time, no need to stick your face in its butt. Black as night color, showing plently of signs of over-extraction, despite the huge syrup-like content, both free and bound, not to mention an interesting mix of wood, vanilla, fake fruits and phony tannins.

Imagine, if you will, shoving an M-80 up the hind parts of a skunk, shoving the skunk up the hind parts of a sweaty shepherdess with a yeast infection and on her period. Now the explosion ensues- catch her week-old thong (a gift from Brad Kane) as it flies by. Give it a good hard sniff and contemplate the layers of aroma. Voila! A fruit bomb!
You have the Marquis-Phillipa.

It was all I could do to actually taste it. And I''m (gag!) pleased to report that (gag!) the flavor was consistent with the aroma. Well, at least if you mix in some volatile acidity. A wine too dense and too fake for me to enjoy- contemplate that and be very, very afraid.

This Marquis Phillips Shiraz says a lot about Dan Phillips. Some clever guy would taste this and buy a bottle as a gag gift. Dan, ever the man truly committed to humor, actually bought this in quantity, imported it, and sells it for money. Not only that, the critics rave about it!

THAT is the kind of dedication and willingness to go the extra yard for a laugh that sets him apart from his fellow Man. Many thanks, Dan!


Frankly, I always though that Stuart went too far. Maybe it was just a bad bottle? Anyhow, it is odd that a taster of Stuart's depth hasn't tried another vintage and written it up on the internet. I think he is waiting for Dan Phillips or Sparky Marquis to send him a free bottle.

Edited by - Joe Dressner on 09/09/2003 23:58:37Go to top of page

SFJoe

USA
1381 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  00:06:14  Show profile  Reply with quote
Oh, Joe, get over it. Everyone had forgotten about Stuart's pan of the Marquis du Sparky portfolion until you disinterred it.Go to top of page
Joe Dressner

France
1371 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  00:09:45  Show profile  Visit Joe Dressner's home page  Reply with quote
quote:
Oh, Joe, get over it. Everyone had forgotten about Stuart's pan of the Marquis du Sparky portfolion until you disinterred it.

Actually, Stuart's review has been revived on both RobertMark ParkSquire's Board and the West Coast Wine Network. Robin removed the post on the grounds of repetitive shrillness and to not alienate the newbies.Go to top of page

KevinO

Djibouti
404 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  00:36:26  Show profile  Visit KevinO's home page  Reply with quote
The Sparky note has always been my personal fav and actually inspired me to seek the wines out. I have never experienced the depth of this TN though. I quite like them.

KevinGo to top of page

Chris Coad

South Sandwich Islands
2314 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  07:02:51  Show profile  Visit Chris Coad's home page  Reply with quote
I've never heard of any of these wines. I must be off the A-list these days.

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Jeff Connell

Saint Pierre and Miquelon
944 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  10:32:14  Show profile  Reply with quote
It's just that you lead such a sheltered life - that protects you from such things.

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Jean Fisch

Belgium
1388 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  12:02:04  Show profile  Reply with quote
quote:

quote:

Nathan pulls out an odd-looking bottle, a present from Dan Phillips, the infamous 2000 Marquis Phillips Shiraz. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, but at the same time, no need to stick your face in its butt. Black as night color, showing plently of signs of over-extraction, despite the huge syrup-like content, both free and bound, not to mention an interesting mix of wood, vanilla, fake fruits and phony tannins.

Imagine, if you will, shoving an M-80 up the hind parts of a skunk, shoving the skunk up the hind parts of a sweaty shepherdess with a yeast infection and on her period. Now the explosion ensues- catch her week-old thong (a gift from Brad Kane) as it flies by. Give it a good hard sniff and contemplate the layers of aroma. Voila! A fruit bomb!
You have the Marquis-Phillipa.


Frankly, I always though that Stuart went too far.



It is a mild disagreement tasting notes by Stuart's standards.Go to top of page
jblackwood

Saint Barthelemy
824 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  12:50:04  Show profile  Reply with quote
quote:
Imagine, if you will, shoving an M-80 up the hind parts of a skunk, shoving the skunk up the hind parts of a sweaty shepherdess with a yeast infection and on her period. Now the explosion ensues- catch her week-old thong (a gift from Brad Kane) as it flies by. Give it a good hard sniff and contemplate the layers of aroma. Voila! A fruit bomb!

I'd describe the 2002 as much less skunky and thongish than the 2000. It's more Nestle-ish.Go to top of page

Jon Cook

Nepal
668 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  13:19:06  Show profile  Reply with quote
It's all lies.

jc

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Dog Hind Parts

Pakistan
805 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  13:57:06  Show profile  Visit Dog Hind Parts's home page  Reply with quote
Rumor has it that I didn't go far enough in my description.

I'm delighted to see that The Yeast Guy is still keeping a Yaniger File. It makes me feel warmish and loved. Therapy can be a wonderful thing.

Canine Naughty Bits, Esq.Go to top of page

mcriden

Kyrgyzstan
232 Posts
Posted - 09/10/2003 :  20:01:43  Show profile  Reply with quote
quote:
Therapy can be a wonderful thing.

Profitable, too, for the makers of condensed wine.

MarkGo to top of page

vulgar little monkey

Iceland
1266 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  08:33:31  Show profile  Reply with quote
Got to try the 2002 Shiraz last night. Easily the most offensive wine I've had this year. In fact, I'm not sure it's wine at all. It tasted like a blend of Bailey's Irish Cream and Godiva Chocolate Liquer.

In a way, it is an amazing thing. If they started with fruit, how did they get it to taste like this? Alchemy. Cool.

Go to top of page

jblackwood

Saint Barthelemy
824 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  12:17:11  Show profile  Reply with quote
quote:
Got to try the 2002 Shiraz last night. Easily the most offensive wine I've had this year. In fact, I'm not sure it's wine at all. It tasted like a blend of Bailey's Irish Cream and Godiva Chocolate Liquer.

The Sarah's Blend is even more like Bailey's Irish Cream, believe it or not. I almost used that exact description. It really is amazing in that sense. At some point, maybe they can cut out the grapes in the Sparky process.

jb (who, yes, drank his fair share of Bailey's Irish Cream while in college)Go to top of page

Zul

Borneo
1531 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  13:38:52  Show profile  Reply with quote
on the Squires' BB the local resident wine experts recommend to flash-decant [??] 2002 Marquis-Phillips Shiraz, and to let it age...

---------------

Florere AudeGo to top of page

Chris Coad

South Sandwich Islands
2314 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  14:11:09  Show profile  Visit Chris Coad's home page  Reply with quote
What's this 'Squires BB' that everyone seems to be talking about? Do you have an URL?

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Jay Winton

USA
3 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  15:06:02  Show profile  Reply with quote
FWIW, I thought the 00 and 01 shiraz and SB wines were a good buy and drank through a couple of cases. Guests liked them as well and a pop and pour wine is ok sometimes; I'll agonzise over the Bordeauxs. That said, the 02 shiraz was too hot for me (up over a percent ABV from 01) and the SB was flabby and overly sweet though I put a few away to see if some cellar time will improve the structure. IMO,the 02 CENSOREDne Clark Shotfire wines are better at this price level but they need some time as well. Uhh.. when I preview I see T...has been censored. Why?Go to top of page
Jonathan Loesberg

USA
308 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  16:24:24  Show profile  Reply with quote
quote:
[Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent, you know.

but... hey... wait, wait a minute, wasn't perhaps "Whereof one can speak, thereof one must be silent"? Hmmm....

still uncertain which one of the two versions of the famous sentence does cover that dreadful Blob better.



"But we must climb the ladder before we may kick it away."

Consider also the response of his mathematician friend: if you can't say it, you can't whistle it either.Go to top of page

mcriden

Kyrgyzstan
232 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  16:48:59  Show profile  Reply with quote
Speaking of ladders:

Now that my ladder’s gone,
I must lie down where all the ladders start,
In the foul rag-and-bone shop of the heart.
--W.B. Yeats,
“The Circus Animals’ Desertion”

Yuk a minute, that Yeats. Must've been sucking too hard on the Marquis Phillips.


MarkGo to top of page

Futornick

USA
175 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  17:41:38  Show profile  Reply with quote
Indulging my passion for rubbernecking at major accidents, I immediately ran over to my local wineshop to get a bottle of this magic elixir. I visited not one, but four separate shops, each of which had none of the Shiraz. Although a nice person at one of them did offer me the Cabernet. Which I almost bit on, but decided it wasn't worth the extra 3 bucks worth of risk. Dammit!Go to top of page
Joe Dressner

France
1371 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  23:21:02  Show profile  Visit Joe Dressner's home page  Reply with quote
I'm at a dinner party in Manhattan's swank Upper East Side as I write this on my wi-fi enabled IPAQ. The hosts, knowing that my wife and I are wine importers, went to a local shop and bought a bunch of Sparky Shiraz' because the retailer told them they were all the rage in the wine press.

Yellow Tail better look out!

I've decided to drink a bottle of 2002 Sparky Shiraz every night for the next 60 days. Someone on Robin Garr's board once did this with a wine, but I forget what the wine was and what the results of the experiment proved. Nevertheless, I'm certain that 60 days of Spark Shiraz 2002 will bring interesting results.

Keep posted here on Therapy.

Edited by - Joe Dressner on 09/12/2003 23:23:13Go to top of page

Chris Coad

South Sandwich Islands
2314 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  23:28:33  Show profile  Visit Chris Coad's home page  Reply with quote
Sparky Shiraz?

Is that by any chance akin to Whoop Whoop Shiraz? Can we expect a Pooky-Wooky Shiraz sometime soon?

If this wine is all the rage in the wine press, how come no one has heard of it?

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Joe Dressner

France
1371 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  23:41:52  Show profile  Visit Joe Dressner's home page  Reply with quote
quote:
If this wine is all the rage in the wine press, how come no one has heard of it?


Jay Miller is having a Sparky party on Sunday.

See you there.

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Chris Coad

South Sandwich Islands
2314 Posts
Posted - 09/12/2003 :  23:53:32  Show profile  Visit Chris Coad's home page  Reply with quote
I'll bring some Hello Kitty Shiraz™.

She has no mouth! How can she drink shiraz?!

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SFJoe

USA
1381 Posts
Posted - 09/13/2003 :  00:07:09  Show profile  Reply with quote
I have new "Goodbye Kitty" refrigerator magnets. I'm very fond of them.Go to top of page
Futornick

USA
175 Posts
Posted - 09/13/2003 :  01:42:49  Show profile  Reply with quote
You know, my 2-1/2 year old daughter has a whole slew of Hello Kitty paraphernalia- dishes, purse, t-shirt, etc. Which is why it really disturbed me to see Hello Kitty plastered on certain female pleasure items. Bad freaking form.Go to top of page
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