The Best of

Cajun Humor...

As stated, We love New Orleans, but only WE can make fun of ourselves and get away with it.

Don't try to cross a Cajun, you might find yourself in a Heap O Mess!

Humor Page II Here

Actual New Orleans 911 Call:

(caller to 911) "My friend just had a heart attack and he's unconscious!
;Please send an ambulance immediately!"

(operator) "Ok sir, just calm down now and we'll have an ambulance on the
way. What is the address?"

(caller) "456 Tchoupitoulas Street!"

(operator) "Could you spell that for me sir?"

(caller) ... long pause ... "How about if I drag him over to Camp Street and
you pick him up there!"

Hell or High Water!

Torrential rain recently soaked Southern Louisiana, and the resulting
flood waters came up to about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodeaux,
waiting for rescue to come.  Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap
floating near the house.  Then she saw it float far out into the front
yard, then float back to the house;  it kept floating away from the house,
 then back toward the house.

Finally, her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux,
"Do you see dat dere baseball cap afloatin' away from de house, den back agin?"

Mrs. Boudreaux said,  "Oh yeah, dat my husband;  I done tole dat Cajun man
he agonna cut dat grass today come  hell or high water.

Louisiana Heritage---A few clues to being a true Louisianan

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass
 a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going to the family reunion.
3. You measure distance in minutes.
4. You know several people who have hit a deer.
5. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
6. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
7. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the
same day.
8.   Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
9. You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
10. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store
with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
11. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to
the store.
12. All the festivals across the state are named after a
fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
13. You install security lights on your house and garage and
 leave both unlocked.
14. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork,
beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows
15. You carry jumper cables in your car.
16. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
17. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and
Tabasco.
18. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
19. The local paper covers national and international news
on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
 20. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
21. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
22. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."
23. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still
Summer, and Christmas.
24. You know if another Louisianan is from southern, middle,
or northern Louisiana as soon as they open their mouth
25. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of
1000 or more.
26. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as
 good gumbo weather.

Bumper Sticker Graduation! (actual stickers seen around town)

BOUDREAUX'S JOKES

Boudreaux walked out to the dock, only to find a beautiful blonde woman,
standing there, crying.
He said, "Mais cher, what's wrong?"
She said, "I don't have anything to live for.  I'm gonna throw myself
into the water and kill myself."
Boudreaux said, "Oh, don' do dat.  You're a beautiful woman and you have
plenty to live for.  Tell you what.  I'm gettin' ready to get on dis boat
and go to Europe.  I'll sneak you on and will take care of you and we can be
happy together."
So, Boudreaux snuck his stowaway on board, and hid her in a lifeboat. For
weeks, every day he would take her 3 square meals, making sure she was
taken
care of, and every night he would slip into the lifeboat with her and
they would make mad passionate love.

One day, the  Captain discovered the woman, and asked her what she was
doing there.  She answered, "One of your crew members, a wonderful man,
has
been taking care of me, feeding me and making love to me.  And he's
taking me to Europe with him on this boat.

The Captain replied, "Cher, I'm sorry to tell you, but this is the
Chalmette ferry."

Sayings that only WE understand!

"That car is as quick as a toad on a hot rock!"

"That's about as slick as snot on a door knob!"

OR

"slicker than owl sh*t" (thanks N. Man, this one from N. Louisiana)

"Your clothes are all Catywompus!"

"The tire on your car is all Whoppyjawed!"

"Be careful or I'll be throw'n pebbles at yer ass!"

" That's about as bad as kissing your sister through a screen door!"

"Your 2 sheets and a comforter from being out the window" (Thanks, from Yerp)

 "You don't know if your sh*ttin' or goin' blind" (Thanks, from Yerp as well)

"That's about as useless as a popcorn fart" (Another from N. Man)

"It's colder than a witches tittie in a brass brazier"

"That's about as useless as tits on a boar"

Send in your best Louisiana Saying Here!

and

Send yer CAJUN Jokes Here!