My god. If this game had been released at the
height of the PlayStation's popularity, there is no telling the
damage it could have inflicted on the game industry. Just as the
Atari VCS version helped accelerate the video game crash of 84,
this one could have caused multi-media genocide, on par with the
Hale-Bopp comet. Who greenlighted this project? Who even cares
about E.T. at this point in time? The thing is like, twenty years
old already. I admire Speilberg's restraint at not whoring out
E.T. for a halfhearted sequel (but please make one for that adorable
Batteries Not Included where everyone is beaten to death by New
York gangs! I'm there!). But note to Speilberg: If you do make
a sequel to E.T. in the next few months, make sure you get Will
Ferrel to sing the Neil Diamond theme "Turn on Your Heart Light"
along with Chris Kattan's gay Hitler. I will run to the theater
to see that. That's right. I said "run".
control is terrible, the story non-existent and the graphics are
pretty bland and flat. E.T. looks like a Rodney Greenblat reject
from Parappa the Rapper. Actually, E.T. really looks like the
aborted baby-thing from Eraserhead. Great! Now I won't be able
to sleep at night with that vision of that baby in my mind. Thank
you Newkidco and David Lynch.
There is no reason for Newkidco to have made this
game, and directly proportionate to that line of thinking, there
is no reason for you to play it, unless you hate yourself. If
that's the case, then play this one in the bathtub with the TV
and the PlayStation submerged with you. And use an extension cord
that is showing the bare wires. Don't even rent this for the kids,
to give them a piece of nostalgia, they will just think you are
stupid. And well, I can't argue with them there. The coolest thing
you could do as a parent, is NOT rent or buy this game. Case closed.