Ways to get through the day
Some things that I've learnt along the way.
You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their
dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Some Cod-Philosophy & things you can put in a signature file.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. (I think I might get into trouble for this one)
What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Do I look like a people person?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. (Vic Reeves)
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many isresearch.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out
Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance
Never test the depth of the water with both feet
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either; just leave me alone
A closed mouth gathers no foot
The liver is Evil and must be punished.
Hangovers are the Wrath of Grapes.
Pip Trevor Row recommends using pixie dust:
it gives you the highs without the lows.
Side effects could be pointy ears, toes and
a constant impish grin, could also begin to
The New Mathematics - "Standard Mathematics has been recently rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backwards. This has led to a re-evaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean Algebra and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals" - Woody Allen "Getting Even"
Having a bad day? Try this.
Notice of Resignation
Bored of your old CDs?
Try this if you think you can seperate the sides of your brain...
Remember the Mr Men fondly? Try this to make your very own. (It appears that it comes complete with sound effects so you may want to turn the volume down before you try it out.
I guess I should point out that all of these come from forwards of one form or another and obviously these are not endorsed by Exeter Uni or the School of Mathematical Sciences (although maybe uni would be more fun if they were...) }8-P