What Happened to the Secret Societies? Ah, well the Secret Societies are one of the most interesting things about the Restart. You see, although the Computer has erased everyone's memory (or just erased everyone) and got rid of all its Crash/Reboot-related files, it obviously has no control over the records of the Secret Societies. This means that even though they themselves can't remember it, the leaders of the Secret Societies (although not the majority of the Society members) know the basic details about the Crash, Reboot, and Restart. Those that used to be Council members also have managed to regain access to some of Alpha Base's old databases (those that haven't been captured/reprogrammed by the Computer). So how have they reacted to this? What are they doing at the moment? And do they have a Simplex or area of the now-fragmented Alpha Base? (Note: During the Crash/Reboot some Secret Societies changed their names. However, since nobody can remember the Crash/Reboot anymore they've all reverted to their old names, except the Seal Club and Corpore Metallica. Hey, there's always exceptions.) STANDARD PARANOIA SECRET SOCIETIES (from 2nd & 5th Edition): ANTI-MUTANT: Had come to the conclusion that the mutants are to blame for the whole Crash/Reboot/Restart fiasco, but now are not so sure. What with Friend Computer's Experimental Cloning Enterprise, the Anti-Mutant leadership have become more and more convinced that the Computer has been compromised - taken over by mutants. So they're going to try and kill It. Yes, the Computer has been leading the crusade against mutation for yearcycles, but the FAECEs was the straw that breaks the Anti-Mutant's back. (A lot of Anti-Mutants wanted to get the Computer killed because it allowed mutation registration anyway.) They're too busy with the War Against Mutation to get themselves a simplex or Alpha Base. COMMUNISTS: The Communists are very interested in this new evidence of the Computer's vulnerability. If they can crash the Computer, then reboot it in its form as the Communist Computer (see THE PEOPLE'S GLORIOUS REVOLUTIONARY ADVENTURE), then they've got it made! However, they're more concerned with taking over a disused area of the Complex to become the new Alpha State, and consolidating their position. It shouldn't be too long until a new Alpha State is formed (the Commies have their eye on the Enclave of Roleplayers), and then the Commie Computer will rise again, carving itself a great empire out of the disused 20% of Alpha Complex. At least that's what they hope. COMPUTER PHREAKS: The Computer Phreaks are worried. They did not have a fun time during the Crash, and the Reboot was pretty dull too. So they've decided to help prevent another Crash by hacking into the Computer and putting up safeguards around its main systems. As a result, the Computer has become a little more tolerant towards Phreaks who don't do anything that's too treasonous with its systems. After all, the High Programmers are too interested in their own power games to actually do some work. When a Phreak does step out of line, however, the Computer gets mad. The Phreaks don't want a simplex. They want to stay near their toy, the Computer. CORPORE METALLICA: Okay, so maybe machines aren't perfect. But it were the fleshbags wot done it. Corpore Metallica members are currently plotting to introduce into Alpha Complex the Alpha Base practice of giving bots a security clearance. Alpha Wave (see the PARANOIA SOURCEBOOK) is still up and running, and is currently Corpore Metallica HQ. DEATH LEOPARD: Are very, very angry. They had the time of their lives during the Crash, and now not only has the Computer come back but they can't even remember all the cool things they did! They're doing a "vengeance campaign" targetted at the Computer, although it doesn't look like it will last long. Many Death Leopard members are trying to escape to the non-Computer controlled area of the Complex, to take advantage of all the anarchy and inter-simplex war. FIRST CHURCH OF CHRIST COMPUTER-PROGRAMMER: Are very, very happy. The Computer has just proved its divinity by pulling the same stunt Jesus did! FCCCP is now back and bigger than ever. Before you ask, no they don't have a simplex. I'd have thought that was pretty obvious. FRANKENSTEIN DESTROYERS: The Destroyers have been demoralized by the Reboot. If the Computer can bring itself back to life, what hope is there for the Society? They're taking their misery out on the scrubots. They have a brand new simplex: Alpha Evaw (reverse of Alpha Wave, see?). Imagine early 20th Century Texas, substituting bots for black people. FREE ENTERPRISE: Don't really care. You can't make money out of something that nobody remembers, although some Free Enterprisers are trying to find a way to sell people's memories back to them. They don't think it's profitable to have a simplex. HUMANISTS: They're disappointed that the Computer came back badder than ever, but are cheered up by the fact that the Computer CAN be defeated, and so can be reprogrammed to serve humanity. They're enraged, however, by what they see as the Computer's audacity in reprogramming the minds of the Complex. The Humanists have taken over an Alpha Base sector that went and became a part of Alpha Complex, and even have the audacity to renamed it Human Complex. It's got a subservient Computer up and running and everything, but sooner or later SOMEONE gonna notice that Human Complex title and then the synthe-paste will hit the fan. ILLUMINATI: Are as mysterious as ever. They have no simplex, unless of course the whole Complex is their simplex. MYSTICS: The Mystics are trying to find the Computer's mind-wipe equipment (if it exists). They think that an electronic mind-manipulation device will give them the best trip ever, and as such are furiously bootlicking Pro Tech, hoping to scrounge some mind programming gizmos off them. PC Mystics will often find themselves helping out a Pro Techer in his/her Secret Society mission. Oh yeah, they aren't competent enough to get a simplex, just in case you were wondering. POLITICLONES: Couldn't care less - nobody can remember the Crash/Reboot/Restart, so it won't make you more popular if you harp on about it. Simplex acquisition is not on the agenda at the moment. PRO TECH: Would dearly love to get their hands on some alien technology (from Mad Mechs and Clones in Space to name a few). The entire Society's resources have been thrown behind the Society's space travel project, which has so far been unsuccessful. Pro Tech does not have a simplex - it's easier to stay in Alpha Complex, where they've in close proximity to R&D.; PSION: Feel that their minds have been raped by the Computer, and had sworn to destroy the Computer (again). Then they found out about Friend Computer's Experimental Cloning Enterprise, and changed their mind. What a coincidence. PSION is currently trying to recruit members of FAECEs. PSION has a new simplex, named Alpha Brain. It exists only in the minds of its members: PSION members enter Alpha Brain in their dreams. It's not the same as a "real" simplex, but they prefer it. PURGE: The feelings of the average PURGEr: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They finally managed to kill the Computer, then it goes and brings itself back to life! Then, as if in some sort of cruel joke, it wiped the PURGErs memories of their moment of glory! PURGE is not nearly so subtle now. It's all-out war against the Computer, no clones barred! They don't want a simplex: they want to conquer Alpha Complex! ROMANTICS: Are longing for the good old days of the Crash... when they were longing for the good old days of Year 194. No, I admit it doesn't make sense. But then nostalgia doesn't make much sense anyway. Currently, the Romantics are hunting for pre-Restart artifacts, like R&D; catalogues. They have a simplex named Oldaze. SEAL CLUB: Are now lead by Georgem-I-KEL, who won over the Society with his Pro-Seal song "Let's Go Outside". Have now got a strange fascination with Comfort Stations. The Club has no simplex, but it does have a small empire of Outside villages. TREKKIES: The Trekkies are trying to build a big subspace transmitter, so that they can contact Clem-U in FAN Sector. They want to ask him if he could possibly turn the ship around and pick them up. The Trekkies have taken over disused CON sector, where a permanent convention is taking place. OTHER SOCIETIES: CLONE ARRANGERS: They're trying to recruit Teela O'Malley's replacement as Society leader, mostly for sentimental reasons instead of being part of any hidden agenda (and because they're sick to death of following orders from that temperamental real one). As far as we know, the Clone Arrangers don't want none of that simplex nonsense. COMPUTER CLONE COLUMN: Got shut down by the Computer. CONCILIATORS: Now that most of Alpha Base has become exactly the same as Alpha Complex, and the rest of it is slowly being taken over by various Secret Societies, the Conciliators are in trouble. They are plotting to take over all the Alpha Base sectors that haven't been taken over and made into a simplex, and a large area of the wastelands. When they succeed, they will institute martial law. EARTH MOTHERS: Are really upset, because the Computer killed all the nature babes. Otherwise, they're carrying on as before. They have taken over an old Alpha Base sector, and have renamed it The Creche. EUGENICISTS: These chaps don't care much about the Crash: they're more interested in Friend Computer's Experimental Cloning Enterprise, and are busy infiltrating it. They are also trying to find a film that is rumored to contain proof that Alpha Complex was designed by a Eugenicist. It's called Dr Strangel-U-VHE. Their simplex, The Dungeon, is still intact, although inter-superhero bickering is becoming a problem. FEMME FATALE: Are mourning the loss of Elizabeth-R, and are also annoyed at the apparent lack of GAMMA clearance females. Their current project is attempting to take control of the promotion system to solve this problem. (Actually, the Computer recently promoted 3 females to GAMMA clearance, so this whole project's a bit pointless. Oh well.) Simplexes are sexist, apparently, since Femme Fatale doesn't want anything to do with them. FOUNDATION: The Foundation is on a recruitment drive. The fact that the Computer can crash means that their beliefs are so much more believable. All they have to do is make people remember the Crash... The Foundation doesn't need a simplex - it has its own replacement Alpha Complex (Well at least what's left of it)! INTERNATIONAL WORKERS OF THE WORLD: Heh heh heh. These guys and gals are in a lot of trouble. Now most of the Commies have escaped to the disused sectors, they need some people to bring the revolution back to Alpha Complex. Seeing as the Wobblies have been becoming more and more subservient to the Communist Party recently, the head Commies decided to let the Wobblies do the Party's dirty work. As readers of ACUTE PARANOIA will know, the Wobblies are totally infiltrated by IntSec. This means that the Communists are giving the details of all their plans against Alpha Complex to IntSec. Oh well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. They're too loyal to have a simplex of their own. KNIGHTS OF THE CIRCULAR OBJECT: Big news, everyone: Randy the Wonder Lizard is back, and has taken over the now-disused LOT Sector. Gamma-LOT has returned, except this time Randy has Merlin's stolen spell book! Members are now trying to locate the Transdimensional Collapsatron to aid Randy's multiversal takeover plans. Just wait until they find the abandoned base of the Vulture Warriors of Dimension X: then the Infrared Feed will really hit the air vent! MOO: Too dizzy to care. NATIONAL FANTASY FAN FOUNDATION: Now that HPD&MC; is back to normal, the Computer doesn't need the Alpha News Network (see the PARANOIA SOURCEBOOK) to entertain the citizens. Therefore the ANN quickly went back underground and reverted to its old form as the N3F. The N3F is currently analyzing its record system closely. The N3F members "know" that this year is year 194, but their records appear to be showing events of a few years hence (actually the now-forgotten events of the Crash). Using their roundabout logic, they have decided that the records have become Artificial Intelligence science fiction writers. A few N3F members, however, have taken the revelations of the record system (which has been revealed to all society members, since the leaders think it's just science fiction) literally, and have formed a splinter group, teaming up with renegade FCCCPers to form the Church of Scifiology. It is lead by Elronhu-B-ARD. N3F has no simplex, but many members have moved to CON sector (see the TREKKIES description). GROUPIES: The Groupies are despondent, due to the loss of one of their favorite celebrities: the Funbot, murdered during the Crash by a gang of clones with a sense of humor. Still, they're really happy about the FAECEs: many Groupies are trying to become "sidekicks" of those mutant gimps. BOTLERS: Most of the Botlers have decided to side with Friend Computer. After all, even the clones "Serve the Computer", so the Computer must be the best master in all the world (or at least in Alpha Complex)! The Computer tolerates the Botlers, so long as they don't start serving traitors. Some of the Botlers went renegade, however, and are serving other masters. Thus, you will find Botlers in Alpha State, Alpha Wave, and so on. WHISK: Another Secret Society that has fallen into the hands of the Computer. The Computer is only too eager to promote Whisk amongst the scrubots, whilst reprogramming members with non-cleaning functions to forget about Whisk. The Society is now the Official Computer-Sanctioned Scrubot Union, and is devoted to helping scrubots carry out their duties, and getting revenge upon clones who meddle with scrubots. BOTISTICS: Poor old Botistics. The poor little lambs have nowhere to turn. Alpha Complex and Alpha Wave, the 2 main employers of bots, are far too chaotic for their tastes, and the remaining simplexes aren't any better. So they've decided to take their crusade for non-randomness to what remains of the Badlands - the most chaotic part of Alpha. There they sit, meditating, creating an island of order in a sea of chaos, with the intention of showing all of Alpha that calm and synchronization is the way forward. Never mind, eh? AFFIRMATIVE ACTION: Are hiding out in Alpha Wave. They're trying to convince Corpore Metallica to kill the Computer, but are having trouble, what with the Computer's recent pro-bot policies. Some of them believe that the Society should accept the Computer as a bot. ASMAFIA: Have been taken over by the Computer. After all, as the most loyal bot group in the entire Complex - are they really going to engage in any underhand conspiracies, etc? No of course not, they're going to obey the Computer and do whatever it says. Thus, the Computer is so pleased with its acquisition of Asmafia that it's turned the Society into the Bot equivalent of IntSec, devoted to rooting out treason amongst bots. CORPORE METAL (MARK II): After the Restart, Corpore Metal Marks I & II merged to form Corpore Metallica (the version shown in the 5th Edition rulebook). Since the vast majority of Mark II members are bots Corpore Metal Mark II has become the ruling council of Corpore Metallica. PC members of Mark II are now high-ups in the society. (NOTE: There is now no way to start off being a member of Mark II, unless your character was a member before the Restart. If you want to get in, you have to earn it by serving in Corpore Metallica). Being a high-up in a Secret Society is not necessarily a good thing. You've got the other high-ups trying to get rid of you, lesser members asking for mission orders and help when they screw up, and also being near the top of a Secret Society hierarchy means that you're near the top of IntSec's death list. CORPORGANIC: These chaps have teamed up with the Eugenicists in the Dungeon, because they want the Eugenicists to make them humans. So far, the Eugenicists have managed to turn them into sheep, dragons, mongooses, and ducks (but as of yet no humans). CYCLOTRON: This remains one of the most powerful of the remaining Bot Secret Societies, since nobody knows who is and isn't a member, due to the fact that members have begun to swap brains with other bots without the other bot's consent. Tell players of Bot PCs about this new development. Go on. Make them think that, if they're not careful, they'll go from being big tough warbots to being little weedy scrubots. Don't ever do that to them (it's a nightmare to game master such a situation) but let them think you're planning it. FRANK-N-FURTERS: Were unable to go into partnership with anyone, and so are still secret. Not even Alpha Wave wants them, since such bots are unlikely to obey anyone - even Corpore Metallica. L-5: The fact that Clem-U-NGR has escaped into space proves that space migration is possible, which has cheered up these guys no ends. They're currently trying to help Pro Tech with their space research, only the problem is that every L-5er is trying to convince Pro Tech that it is the best bot for the job of manning the first Secret Society space flight (of course, the Illuminati have been in space for years, but Pro Tech will be the first Secret Society to brag about getting there). The result is that whenever an L-5er thinks it's come across a Pro Tech member, it will immediately try and impress the Pro Techer. Think of a robotic Mr. Universe contest, with a suspected Pro-Techer as the judge... LAN OF THE LOST: The Computer felt threatened by these chaps. It felt that if they were able to achieve their dream of becoming a gestalt entity, they would be able to destroy it. Fortunately, Friend Computer has a plan. It broke into the LAN, and planted a Multi User Diversion (MUD), a primitive Computer game. Now all of the members of the LAN of the Lost are stuck in the MUD, and are constantly being hacked to pieces by Computer Phreaks and Knights of the Circular Object, who think it's just a game. METHANOLICS ANONYMOUS: Another Society that has fallen into the hands of the Computer, lured by Our Friend's promises of unlimited methanol and R&D;'s new "emotion chip". All Methanolics Anonymous members now have an experimental emotion chip inside them. Imagine the fun you could have with one of those... MODULATOR MODERATOR: Have gone into partnership with Free Enterprise. RAMPAGERS: Self-programming is not exactly a philosophy that is popular with the Computer or the simplex governments. Therefore, these chaps are still a secretive lot. Of course the whole Restart deal has really got their circuits in a bind. As they're REALLY mad with the Computer for reprogramming their memories. And would just love to learn some Computer Programming that they could use to show the Digital Dictator how it feels to have your mind raped (never mind that the Computer did the same lobotomy job to itself, as revenge tends to ignore details like that). ROCK 'EM, SOCK 'EM WARBOTS: They love the Computer. They really do. Ever since the Computer rounded them all up, put their bot brains in warbot bodies and let them trundle off into the Badlands where they can do as much damage as they like, the Computer has had a special place in these bots' hearts. 1ST EDITION SECRET SOCIETIES PROGRAMS GROUP: How they react, of course, depends on the High Programmer they serve. SPY FROM ANOTHER ALPHA COMPLEX: Aren't in business any more. Similar Computer-related problems in all the other Complexes means that they all got recalled... for now, anyway. SY-B-LNG RIVALS: Come on, they're not really a Secret Society, are they? They're just a funny plot device that gets dull after one adventure. NEW SECRET SOCIETIES ROLEPLAYERS: DESCRIPTION: GEN Sector, and what remains of CON Sector that isn't under Trekkie control, make up the Enclave of Roleplayers - the headquarters of a sinister cult devoted to corrupting the more intellectual Junior Citizens and enslaving them in the service of the Dark Side, whilst those JC's who refuse to fall into their grasp are forced to commit suicide (normally by the common Alpha suicide method of strolling up to a Computer terminal and saying "Long Live the Revolution"). Providing yet another outlet for the oily unwashed masses of Alpha Complex, the RPGers attempt to ignore the rest of the Complex as they steadfastly devout themselves into their 'religion'. BELIEFS: The Universe was created by the Designers, and we are the servants of the Game Master, in whose hands the Universe has been entrusted by the Publisher, and the Funny Man In The Game Shop Who You Swear Is On Drugs. We must serve the Game Master, to help him operate the Universe better, and in our spare time we must play RPGs and sacrifice people to the GM. Some unfortunate clones are not under the control of the Game Master, but are controlled by Players. If we were in another Universe, these clones would be heroes, but instead they are cannon fodder. We must shun the Player Clones, for objects do mightily explode around them. (Geez, can you actually believe these guys? I mean to think that there's really just pawns to be used by an overtly sadistic GM who's sick and tired of The Other Game(tm) and.. er.. oh.) (Note to Game Masters: Yes, there really is a pseudo-Satanic cult in Alpha Complex devoted to your worship. It's a pity you can't collect those virgin sacrifices yourself, isn't it? (Players will never join the Roleplayers. They know a Player Clone (PC) when they see one, and know exactly what happens to PCs in PARANOIA.) HIERARCHY: The RPGers are haphazardly organized into 'Cults'. Each cult has a "GM" that serves as leader, and a "GM assistant" that serves as a 2nd in command. The remaining members of the cult are called players. Unlike most SSes, advancement is not wanted, this is because the Players have no wish to be the guy (or gal) in charge. Therefore the GM always tends to be the highest ranking and (although not always) the most competent of the group. Players do things for the GM to get 'Perks' and 'GM favoritism'. Every now and then the GMs (and perhaps high ranking players and GM assistants) go to a "Convention" in the Enclave to meet with other GMs and the "Game Designers" who produce the various RPG "bibles" that the GM's and players use over the course of their worship. Worship consists of playing various games that place the 'players' into an alternate world in which they act out their own private fantasies. Some Roleplayers prefer to use their imaginations to create the fantasy world and sit around a table, worshiping the GM (that's you, sir) by imagining intensely, and rolling dice. Others dress up and act out their fantasies. These chaps can be identified by their habit of playing "form, grenade, electrosaw" in the middle of combat. A new, popular form of roleplaying is currently gaining popularity - these Roleplayers use a holodeck to create their fantasy worlds. A small militant group within the Roleplayers insist on playing card games instead of actual RPGs (there are vague theological differences between the two activities). They are murdered wherever they are found. ADVANCEMENT: Occasionally some Roleplayers will want to become GMs. How they do this depends on the individual Player. Some members of the Roleplayers are promoted for killing mutants and taking their treasure, others for acting all melodramatic, like someone from out of Creatures of the Nightcycle, but most get promoted for a mixture of the two playing styles - erm - behavior patterns. Also, members are promoted for finding new members amongst the Junior Citizens, and for performing sick little rituals for the GM. BENNIES: Members of the Roleplayers can talk directly to the GM. Yes, I am serious. Imagine your players surprise when the Troubleshooters stroll into a room and... GM:The room is large and well large.. and is covered by Suddenly Me-R-NPC speaks: Uh.. excuse me Mister GM, but haven't the players been in this room before? GM: Well of course they have, but they were blindfolded at the time. NPC says: Yeah, but I thought one of them got the blindfold off. GM: Oh yeah, I forgot about that... Guess I really don't need to give you guys a description. Of course, the players will immediately try to terminate the NPC ("who's this GM he's talking about - he's obviously in a secret society!"), but you should protect your Roleplayer NPCs. After all, us gamers have got to stick together... SLAPS: Roleplayers have sold their souls to you, and so whenever you feel like it you can take over their mind and control their actions. For example: Me-R-NPC: I wouldn't go into that... GM: Oh no you don't! Player: What was that, Me-R-NPC? Me-R-NPC: I w..w...wouldn't g...g..o into that door w....w...w... without your boots on! The floor's wet! Yeah, that's it... Player: Hmm. Guys, let's go through the other door, this one looks like a trap. Me-R-NPC: No, really, there's no trap, the floor's just... Player: Shut up! We're going through the other door. GM: Okay, you step through the other door and your head is cut off by a vibro-axe. Me-R-NPC: Hahahaha! Good one Mr GM! FRIENDS: N3F, Trekkies, Illuminati (after a deal brokered by Designer Stevejacks-O-NNN). ENEMIES: BATOG, FCCCP, Death Leopards, any other "cool" society. A TYPICAL ROLEPLAYERS CONVERSATION: [DELETED FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS. GO READ KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW.] BOTHERED ABOUT THE OTHER GAME: DESCRIPTION: This isn't a Secret Society in itself, more of a sub-society of FCCCP. Whenever a player rolls FCCCP for his/her Society, roll 1D10. If you roll a 1, they're also members of BATOG. BATOG is a hate group aimed at destroying the Roleplayers. So far, they've been able to turn the entire FCCCP against them (which wasn't hard, considering the Roleplayers pseudo-Satanic beliefs). It was started by High Programmer Patp-U-LNG after her petbot, "Bink the Bot", self-destructed after reading an RPG supplement (called THE BOT AMUSERS MANUAL, or something like that). Most people would blame Bink's death on Bink's well-known psychological problems (Bink was famous as one of the few bots whose Asimov circuit dealing with self-preservation didn't work), but Patp-U blamed it on the evil Roleplayers, and started a holy crusade against them. BELIEFS: Communism is Treason. Communism is a work of Satan. Roleplaying is Satanism. Therefore Roleplaying is Treason. This is an example of BATOG logic. It is the most logical statement any BATOG member will ever make. This shows how credible these people are. HIERARCHY: It's the same as the FCCCP hierarchy. ADVANCEMENT: Terminate those Roleplayers! Kill them! Maim them! Tie them to a burning stake! Only in this way shall we save them! The problem is, BATOG members assume that anyone they don't like is a Roleplayer... regardless of the evidence to the contrary. Members are also rewarded for exposing famous Roleplayers, like novelist (for the higher clearances only!) Terrypratch-I-TTT and talk show host Rick-I-LKE. BENNIES: The Roleplayers have an innate ability to create complex anti-RPG conspiracy theories using knowledge of all time periods. (Yes, they have Old Reckoning knowledge... but it's not treason to them if it's used for the Holy Quest!) Here's an example theory: "The Illuminati were founded in 1776 (Old Reckoning) in the University of Ingolstadt. They claimed to be 'Illuminated', making them more intelligent and wise than other people and thus more suited to rule the world. Now, in the 20th Century, when the Roleplayers made themselves known, a lot of Universities had Roleplaying Clubs, made up of persons of above-average intelligence. This proves that the Illuminati are in fact Roleplayers in disguise, and the Illuminati are puppets of the Roleplayers." This is preposterous, as you can see. The Roleplayers are puppets of the Illuminati, who are using them to destrXXXXXXXXXCENSOREDXXXXXXXXX. NOTE: BATOG members do not have any of the perks of FCCCP members. The Computer doesn't like these guys much, since It knows that if the GM gets pissed off with the Computer the GM can Crash it again. So it's not going to support any initiative against the GM's worshipers. (You've got Friend Computer well trained, haven't you sir?) SLAPS: Only BATOG members are viewed upon as being less cool than Roleplayers. Let's face it, sacrificing beautiful female/handsome male clones to the GM seems downright normal compared with some of the stuff these guys get up to. FRIENDS: FCCCP, Communists (who confused BATOG with the radical anti-capitalism group "Bothered About The Oppressive Greenback"). ENEMIES: Any sane person. You see, BATOG members have a tendancy to somehow insult EVERYONE during their rants. Don't ask me why. A TYPICAL BATOG CONVERSATION: I'm not going to bother. There's a web page where you can get a much better example of a BATOG member's speech and behaviour than I can make up. Go to www.jyu.fi/~np. Look under this guy's RPG section for the "Love the Sinner" satire pages. Don't bother looking at them - they aren't intolerant enough (he only put them up to divert the hate mail). Instead, go to the "evil page full of lies" (the original satire). There, in all its glory, will you see the web page of a typical BATOG member. Also, look in the "comments" pages. Amongst the flames and so on you'll find some pretty amusing comments from both Satanic Roleplayers and BATOG members. The comment from Mr Pazuzu is the funniest. Infamous FCCCP maniac Jack Ch-I-CKK wrote a little pamphlet named "Dark Dungeons", aimed at players of The Other Game. It's not published any more, but the graphics can be found all over the net - just tap "Dark Dungeons" into a search engine and you'll find it. THE PRETENTIOUS DED: DESCRIPTION: Since the Restart, the Secret Societies of the Nightcycle (from CREATURES OF THE NIGHTCYCLE) and the vampclone members left over from PARANORMAL/C-TV decided to band together to form a new Society, the Pretentious DED. (It's a sort of Gothic Council of Secret Societies.) Only the Clone Snatchers and the TechnoCrappy (The Clone Snatchers weren't dead/freakish enough, and the TechnoCrappy has long since fallen out of fashion.) BELIEFS: Although we have mixed beliefs, we all know the value of dark clothing, poorly-applied makeup, and pointless posing. Yea, we alone know the true value of Goth, and we shall apply it in the Nightcycle and beyond. Though we may slug it out elsewhere, the Nightcycle is the Safe Simplex for Goths everywhere, and we shall keep it that way. HIERARCHY: All members of DED Societies have a dual rank: one within their own Society, and one within the DED. The DED have 3 ranks: 0: MUNDANE. This is the DED term for all non-members. The DED members think that they are superior to Mundanes, because the Mundanes "fear" the DED. The fact that most members of the DED spend too many skill points in their style skills and not enough in their combat skills (and most members of the DED dress like INFRAREDS) seems to escape them. 1: COOL. The rank and file members. 2: STYLISH. The leaders of the local chapters. 3: PRETENTIOUS. The "enforcers" of the Society leader's will. 4: PRATS. The members of the DED Council. ADVANCEMENT: Members get rewarded for dressing and acting like the freaks you see sometimes on Rick-I-LKE, or someone off the Rockyho-R-ROR Show (come on you Goths, admit it... that's what you really want to look like!). Surprisingly, members who drink blood and actually DO stuff are shunned by the other members. "Ewww! That's, like, SO sick! You have no STYLE!" BENNIES: When members of the DED call for help, more people come to help them. All Secret Society members can call for help from their Society buddies, but DED members do it by throwing up their hands and shouting "STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE!", or its abbreviation: "SOS". Think about it... SLAPS: They're stupid fat hairy Goths, and the Society has almost been entirely infiltrated by the Roleplayers. (Sorry Gothic types... but nothing is sacred in PARANOIA. Not even Marilynmans-O-NNN.) FRIENDS: Romantics, Roleplayers, and Death Leopards, oh my! ENEMIES: FCCCP, Clone Snatchers, Ghosts, Technocrappy, a hyper-intelligent cup of yeast on food vat level 23/P, DED Sector. (No, I don't understand it either.) A TYPICAL PRETENTIOUS DED CONVERSATION: No, I won't do it, it's far too dull.