On Sunday I found myself driving my Mini Cooper to the SPILSAPBBQSC (The acronym that I have given to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's Low & Slow Pro BBQ State Championship). To say that it was a disappointment is an understatement on par with saying that "Kraft food products are evil". The extent on how sad and unfortunate this event is will never be known unless you go there yourself.

If you are the type of masochist who gets off on sitting in Emergency Rooms, signing up for College Courses or waiting for the Boston Red Sox to win a world series, then the SPILSAPBBQSC is for you. Let me explain the type of sadism that the promoters of this event inflicted on the mass audience:

• There were a dozen or so competitors for the title of Washington State BBQ Champion. But none of them could sell their products, and none of them could provide free samples of their product until after the judges had sampled their wares.
  
  Due to this, only one or two of the competitors were providing samples of their products at any given time.
• If you wanted BBQ, you couldn't get any BBQ from the competitors. So there was one food vendor who was allowed to serve BBQ to the general public.
• As for other non-bbq food vendors? There were none. That's right. This was a food event that attracted hundreds of customers, and there was only ONE food vendor. See the picture to your left? That was the line to the food vendor. The food vendor is that tent with the red awning waaaaaay in the back. So if you wanted food, you had to wait 45 minutes in line.
• There was no beer being served...At a BBQ event...What the hell were they thinking?
  
  Oh sure, there was a beer garden. But it was no where near the event. It was 200 yards way at an arts and crafts festival. And it was a sad, sad place indeed.
• It rained...And yes, I blame that on the organizers as well.

First things first...this is a chilled soup. Not hot. So plan up an entire day for this, because if you wake up Sunday morning expecting to serve this for brunch, you'll be eating at around 3 or 4pm. This soup does not taste so good luke warm or room temperature, but it tastes damn good at near freezing. Go figure.

The initial recipe came from Soup Song, but there was a big whopping mistake in the middle of the recipe that needed fixed, so I updated it a tad.

The Apple Broth

• 2 and 1/2 cups water
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 5 large tart apples, peeled, cored, and sliced (I used granny smith)
• 2 cups Reisling white wine
• 1 Tablespoon grated lemon zest
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 2 Tablespoons raspberry or other fruit jam
• 3 Tablespoons dry, unseasoned bread crumbs
• juice of 1/2 lemon

• 2 apples, peeled, cored, and grated
• 1 and 1/2 cups dry, unseasoned toasted bread crumbs
• 2 Tablespoons apply brandy (Calvados is best, but Apple Jack is fine)
• 2 Tablespoons sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 Tablespoon grated lemon zest
• 1 large egg
• 4 cups of water
• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• 1/4 cup sugar

Another basic, yet very tasty Italian soup that uses bread as a thickening agent.

• 6 Tablespoons olive oil
• Crushed Red Chili pepper
• 1 1/2 cups cups of white bread, cut into cubes
• 1 medium yellow onion, finely chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, also finely chopped
• 2 14 oz. cans of peeled, plum tomatoes, chopped
• 3 Tablespoons Fresh Basil, also finely chopped
• 6 1/4 cups of veggie stock
• salt to taste
• Ground Pepper to taste

A while ago, I linked to an item entitled powdered alcohol, which promised a flavorless alcohol powder that you can stir into any applicable beverage. I later found out that the makers are no longer selling the product (after I had predicted there wouldn't be a big enough market for it), and I thought the the fad had gone by the way side (even though I do get about one hit a week based on the keywords 'powdered alcohol').

Today, I found something else while scouring the food blogs...Food Goat was linking to a an article about flavorful alcohol that was neither liguid nor solid, but a gas! The product called AWOL (an acronym for Alcohol WithOut Liquid) is a process in which user chooses which alcoholic spirit will be used and the alcoholic spirit is loaded into a diffuser capsule in the machine. The oxygen bubbles are then passed through the capsule, absorbing the alcohol, before being inhaled through a tube. The resultant cloudy alcohol vapor is then inhaled from the end of the tube via a device that converts liquid to vapor over a twenty minute period.

Can you get drunk? Well, yes and no. The machine distributes the alocohol slowly, so you cannot pound 'em like the more serious drinkers can. But apparently there is a slight feeling of well being that comes after taking the appropriate hits. And if you look at their FAQ, you can see that there are some very stringent concerns about over-indulgence, including a disclaimer about mis-use of the machine that delivers the gas.

But unlike the powdered alcohol, I do see a market for these machines. There's no way in hell they'll replace the tried and true delivery mechanism of alcohol (Over the mouth and through the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!), but there is a gimmick market for this, much in the same way there is a market for oxygen bars. If a bar is willing to shell out three to four grand on the machine (which, I suspect, is VERY hackable), then you might see these soon in your local over priced night club.

No picture for this recipe, as we quickly packed it up to take out for picnic last night (Sunsets over Elliot Bay are often beautiful, with the oranges and purples all around). The reason you fry only some of the veggies is to get a variety of tastes. There's a difference between carmelized onions and peppers vs just plain old stewed onions and peppers. This gives the soup a little more complexity in taste than most Tortilla soups.

• 10 cups chicken stock (or water in a pinch)
• 2 tablespoons tabasco
• 2 tablespoons kosher salt
• ground pepper (to taste)
• 2 tablespoons chili oil
• 1 red onion
• 1 green pepper
• 1 red pepper
• 2 ancho chiles
• 1 lb. boneless chicken (I prefer dark meat, as it's a little moister)
• 1 can sliced tomatoes (14.5 oz)
• 4 corn tortillas, cut into slices
• Shredded Monterrey Jack Cheese
• Chives or cilantro (for garnish)

Call me a traditionalist, but I think that there are some food cuisines that should be left to the region in which they were discovered. This is why I view a Seattle BBQ festival with the same amount of skepticism as I would if there were oyster eating festivals in Texas or Kansas City.

But that's not going to stop me from heading out to Sand Point Magnuson Park, (7400 Sand Point Way N.E.) for the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's Low & Slow Pro BBQ State Championship - or as I shall call it SPILSAPBBQSC, (which rolls off the tongue just as easily).

Because the SPILSAPBBQSC, for the first time, an official State Championship (as so ordered by a governor's proclamation, which makes me wonder just how busy our esteemed Governor actually is), the winner of this event will not only win the grace and admiration of all PacNW BBQ-r's, but also a chance to qualify for the two major competitions that remain in the season: the Jack Daniel's Invitational and the American Royal. The fact that they only win a chance to qualify for these two major BBQ events speaks much to how serious the southern BBQ-r's take this particular event, which is to say not so serious at all.

But that hasn't stopped the Seattle Post-Intelligencer from going all ga-ga about this event,not only writing no less than six articles about the event in today's Food section, but also sponsoring the dern thing....which speaks to how serious the food editors at the PI take their ideas of what conflict of interest entails, which is also to say not so serious at all.

But if your in the Pac NW, and like BBQ, by all means head up to the event. Wave hi to Tom Douglas, local Chef near-god or Wayne Johnson, executive chef at Andaluca. Drink some free Thomas Kemper (One of the two kickin' soda companies here in Seattle). Or simply indulge in plenty of Good BBQ.

More for my reference later on...use as you desire.

Bisque: A cream based fish or seafood soup.

Borscht: A Russian stew made with beets, tomatoes, cabbage or sometimes meat.

Bouillabaisse: A French fishermans's stew, made with a mixture of fish, shellfish, garlic, tomatoes, saffron, and fennel.

Bouillon: A clear seasoned broth.

Broth: A thin soup of beef, chicken, seafood or other meat stock.

Chowder: A long involved history, named from the type of pot used to make the soup (Chaudière). Now known as a cream based seafood soup, often with potatoes.

Consommé: Clear soup of beek, chicken, or seafood stock containing pieces of solid food.

Gazpacho: Chilled, pureed summer vegetables, especially tomatoes. Older recipes were thickened with bread.

Gumbo: Soup thickened with okra (in fact the word 'Gumbo' comes from the word Quingombo, the Congon word for okra) or sassafras root. Often has cayenne and/or andouille sausage.

Madrilene: A tomato based consummé.

Minestrone: Vegetable and bean Italian soup.

Mulligatawny: Indian soup of countless varities. Some are broth based, others cream based, almost all have curried meat or seafood.

Posole: A Latin American Stew made with chile peppers, veggies, hominy and broth.

Stew: Browned meat, poultry or seafood, simmered with vegetables with just enough water to cover all ingredients.

Stock: Liquid in which meat and vegetables are simmered. Used as a basis of soups and sauces.

Vichyssoise: French soup, made with potatoes, leeks, stock, and cream. The soup is then pureed and chilled.

This came out far better than I thought it would,considering how difficult shaping the meringue was. When you make this, make sure it's on a day when it's low heat, low humidity. In fact, I had to freeze the meringue for 60 minutes in order to get it to the point where it was workable.

When baking the meringue, it also turned a soft taupe, instead of staying white. But because it made it looked like a pie crust, I decided to keep it.

It's a great dessert and worth the time to put into it.

• 4 egg whites at room temperature
• 2/3 cup finely granulated white sugar
• 4 teaspoons cornstarch
• 1/2 teaspoon white vinegar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup heavy whipping cream
• Strawberries, kiwis and blueberries, as needed

I meandered on up to Edmonds, Washington in order to partake in The Taste of Edmonds event that was being held. It was hot, stuffy, and the arts and crafts outnumbered the food vendors. This was just enough to make me a tad cranky upon arrival. But then again, macrame has been known to bring out the worst in most people.

However, it was the largest collection of food vendors I had seen on the festival circuit this summer. By this time of the year, I had become well versed in the way one should approach eating at events such as these. I had made my mistakes this year (I had found out that eating Phad Thai from a booth is a recipe for disaster, and that there are some foods that one must eat without care about how one looks), but I also had many victories (Rasberry shortcake anyone?)

The trick in approaching these festivals is to not allow your eyes to be bigger than your stomach. You will not be able to eat everything. Accept that fact and move on. But you CAN have your entree, side dish, and starch (as well as dessert) if you plan accordingly.

For example, for my entree at 'The Taste of Edmonds', I avoided every dish that required a fork AND knife (I mean c'mon... go to a restaurant if you need a knife...sheesh) had veal brautwurst ona tasted bun, with a homemade brown mustard that made me shriek in delight, causing several odd looks from those around me.

For my side dish, I turned down a crepe with hollandaise sauce (hollandaise sauce that had been siting out all afternoon? No thanks, I'll pass), and had myself a philly cheesesteak. For my starch, I had a nice and taste slice of pepperoni pizza..

Oh, wait.. Did I not explain that the best way to eat at these fairs is to supply non-traditional replacements for the traditional entree-side-starch combo that we have all come to love?

I do have some other rules of thumb...I avoid french fries, because very rarely do french fries give me a siren's song. And I avoid sugary drinks (lemonades, sodas, etc) as the sugar and heat make a poor combination.

I really do avoid foods that require knives. Food at a fair should be enjoyed whilst standing, without creating too much of a mess. This puts most foods-on-a-stick in play. Fairs are the only place one should eat corn dogs with relish, for if you've ever tried to eat corn dogs at home, then you've most likely also had the "what-the-hell-am-I-eating-THIS-for?" revelation.

But dessert? Dessert is when I let it all hang out. With options such as gourmet ice cream, to deep fried twinkies, the options available to the dessert freak is vast and cumbersome. So I partook of the chocolate coated frozen banana...on a stick.

And let me just say this...There is no delicate way of eating a frozen phallic fruit. But as I said earlie, there are some foods that one must eat without care about how one looks. After all, it could be worse. Someone could see me walking into an Applebee's.

Now THAT would be embarassing.