Thank God that Britney Spears' white trash pseudo-marriage to Mousy Babydaddy is headline news. My only complaint is that it takes second billing to all that Iraq war election mumbo-jumbo. I mean, come on, what do people really care about? Ted Rather or whatever, or CELEBRITY GOSSIP?!
~ posted by Jill at 9:06 PM
Who ARE You?!
She's been in our classes since i began the program. Every semester it's the same deal -- she rushes in late every time and makes a huge entrance, shuffling papers, getting out her laptop, interrupting the professor to ask what she missed. During 90% of classes, she leaves at least once to take a phone call. Sometimes after class i'll be talking to my friend Austin, but this chick pretends not to see me, and talks AROUND ME to Austin about something she would already know the answer to if she had made it to class on time. But of course, she has a critically important day job across campus and that's somehow our problem.
Tonight, i groaned as she walked in to Life Insurance, and i realized the nearest empty seat was next to me. But not just the usual distractions from our lovely classmate tonight -- we were in for a treat! She ANSWERED HER PHONE IN CLASS. Talked. On. The. Phone. WHILE THE PROFESSOR WAS TEACHING. Our classes aren't in huge lecture halls, either. This is graduate school, for people who take things at least somewhat seriously. There are never more than 30 of us in a classroom.
After a few dirty looks and stares of sheer bewilderment from other students, i suppose she got the hint. (Although i suspect she was still oblivious at this point.) She proceeded to carry on uber-important business on her Blackberry, but without undertaking the bothersome task of turning off the beeping keys. That's right, folks -- one beep for every letter of every memo that just couldn't wait one hour.
By now, i hope you would agree that this is tacky behavior, and unacceptable for a graduate classroom setting. Unfortunately, the story does not end here. For her piece de resistance, Ms. Professional TOOK PICTURES OF PEOPLE IN THE CLASS with her Blackberry!!!!!!! I haven't the faintest idea why a person would do that in the middle of a lecture on Variable Universal Life policies, but that is exactly what she did.
Then, thirty minutes into a 1.5 hour class, she noisly packed up her belongings and clopped out of the room. Lady, why the hell did you even show up? There's no attendance grade. Test questions are pulled from the book more than from lectures. You are obviously too important just to sit there and listen. So why bother? WHO ARE YOU, LADY?!?!
Oh, i know... the wife of the TTU Personal Financial Planning director. So she can do whatever she wants, and none of the professors will ever say a thing, because they're friends with her husband. Cool.
~ posted by Jill at 8:00 PM
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
(Didn't i have a post with that title this time last year?)
I can't remember where this came from, but it's pretty good, so i'm using it as a post. Go Tech!
Southern Football vs. Northern Football
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Paul "Bear" Bryant
Getting Football Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Hootie and the Blowfish," who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "@#$%$, you slow &@#$%! &@#$ tackle him and break his legs!"
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "@#$%^^$, you slow &@#$%! &@#$ tackle him and break his > legs!"
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.
Conclusion: Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern football.
~ posted by Jill at 11:30 PM
My Thoughts on the Mile-High Club
* there sure are a lot of black folks in Denver.
* public transit is our friend.
* some stuff about psychological econometrics that you probably don't want to read.
* it's a good thing i enjoy my own company, because i can't count on the other students, not even the ones i'm fairly good friends with.
* HOWEVER, you know that song "Holidae Inn"? well, um, life imitates art... except maybe not quite as scandalous. but, "what happens in the Seans' room in the downtown Denver Holiday Inn, stays in the Seans' room in the downtown Denver Holiday Inn."
* there's a good chance i will not be a financial planner.
* they're not kidding about the effect of altitude on one's alcohol tolerance! we all know i'm not a big drinker, of course, but the boys keep bringing me beers at the Rockies game, and they hit HARD!
* Cowboy Mouth is opening for Robert Earl Keen in Denver in a couple of weeks and i wish i could go back.
* hotels are much more soundproof than this apartment. i'm not completely happy to be home, which is sad, because i love loving to come home.
* Denver is definitely a cool city, at least in my top 10, but i doubt top 5 [Austin, Dallas, Philadelphia, Chicago, and, well... maybe Denver? maybe not.]
ALSO the new Talky has arrived and i like him a lot. His ringer is "Beast of Burden" in case you missed the away message, and it is rad. If you know of a website that has an un-sucky mp3 or even just polyphonic Tech Fight Song or Alma Mater ringer, please let me know! You should hear the junk they try to pass off as "Fight Raiders Fight!" Also, thanks to JK for the awesome accessory suggestion. I ordered six.
~ posted by Jill at 9:07 PM
The Mile High Club
Well kids, i'm about to join the "Mile High Club." That's right, in a couple of hours my plane takes off for that fabled city a mile in the sky, and i won't be back 'til Tuesday.
(p.s. i know that "Mile High Club" means something sketchy, but i'm just kidding!)
Oh and yes, i did go through with it and order the new phone. It will be good because this plan is nationwide, with free mobile-to-mobile minutes, and polyphonic mp3 ringtones. So this time next week, my ringer will be the actual mp3 of the Stones' "Beast of Burden," or maybe the Doobies' "China Grove," or Twista's "Overnight Celebrity," or Blondie's "Heart of Glass" -- so many options! I'm overwhelmed! And so much for my dyed-in-the-wool belief that musical ringtones are obnoxious. At least these are way better than a seven octaves too high rendition of "The Entertainer."
Your assignments while i'm gone:
1) Root for Texas Tech this Saturday against New Mexico; or, if you just absolutely can't bring yourself to sing "Fight Raiders Fight," i will accept rooting for Wisconsin, Penn State, Texas, Villanova, and whoever is playing A&M.;
2) That band or CD you've been meaning to check out -- do it. You'll be glad you did. If you need suggestions, i think you know what i will say. --->
3) Take this quiz and post your results!
i'm a stupid strawberry.
~ posted by Jill at 3:32 PM
"Potpourri," as Alex Trebek Calls It
I'm going to Denver soon. Any suggestions?
Tamil is probably the coolest looking language i've ever seen. I should have gotten Ganesh to teach me more before he scampered off.
Is it worth signing another 2-year contract with Cingular so i can get a $30 camera phone? Several people have told me my current phone is sad.
Sometimes i wonder what the big deal is with Conan O'Brien. Is he really that funny?
I finally got a Thrift Store Cowboys t-shirt. Whitney and i got the same one because it was the only good one in our size. It has a bicycle on it. There, i have mentioned Thrift Store Cowboys, as i often do.
My flip-flops look very small from this angle.
Today i got a $5 parking ticket in a 45 minute zone, because Tech parking sucks a lot these days. But come on, $5?! The City of Lubbock kills me.
Did everyone have a good Labor Day Weekend?
~ posted by Jill at 3:56 PM
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