as promissed, i went to have my 1st
encounter with the realm of the occult.
to protect against any bad news, such as
'you will die a painfool death with
your honey dipped genitalia stuck
in an anthill,' i first went to check
out the sunset one more time @ the cove.
so on with the juice. let :px be the master
psych0rs, let :z be and in between
 what my thoughts thought during the session:
:p1 - there he is.
:z - *puts on mysticalistical face* there i am!
:p1 - you want a reading, yes?
:z - [do you sell milk?] yes.
:p1 - wait there while i read for her first.
:z - [she has glassy eyes] [a simulation] [young too]
[i'd rather go for her mommy]
:p2 - *apparates*
:z - [no glassy eyed] + [blonde] = [score!]
:p2 - come in my office; sit down, i'll read for you.
:z - how much is it?
:p2 - $45 for a complete past, present, future.
:z - i gots $28 but i know my past.
:p2 - i'll do it for $25.
:z - [mystery in the air looms]
:p2 - take the $25 in your hand and make a wish.
:z - i'm sorry, i don't make wishes.
[why wouldn't you take my $28, fool?]
:p2 - no. no. take the money and make
a fist around it, then make two wishes.
:z - [short term memory loss??? promissing :] i'm sorry, i just never make any wishes.
[goddam all happen, so i quit, plus
when you wish for nothing, everything
comes true naturally, foolio:z :]
:p2 - ok, stretch out your right palm,
i will read for you now, please ax me
at the end if you don't understand something.
:z - [lucky me to be profficient in ebonix]
[wanna say: foh shizzle mah pizzle!]
[i am a chicken, so i go :] ok.
:p2 - i see a long life for you,
but i don't see much health around
for you. you will live to be 87,
maybe eighty eight.
:z - [hooly fuck! shitcha not! i've been totally owned!
my return to investment is stellar indeed, i prolly
will take the 58 train out, but hey, if i live
to see 87, you gots my w0rd i'll make 88 if i have to
die and come back 88 times in that 87th year! :]
:p2 - someone is gossiping very negatively
about you right now, you don't know it yet,
but you will. i see very hard work for
you in the next 5 years, but money will
come to you in the next year or so.
:z - [i blame dairyland for all gossiping and
i doubt i'll have to work my ass off
during the next 5 years, i truly do. money has
already come to me and gone & come again, so?]
:p2 - i see a woman from your past trying to get back
into your life. she is no good for you.
stay away. are you married and do you love your wife?
:z - [all chicks in my past want me
for the kitty magnet that i am. old news.] yes, i love my wife very much so.
:p2 - do you understand what a soulmate is?
:z - i think so.
:p2 - you are married to your soulmate
from your first marriage. you've done good.
:z - [perchance you are a true witchcrafter?
i am soulmatizing my soulmate, you betchyerass
i've done well, i hardly ever hefta put her
in the airlock anymore. i'm done good, yes :]
:p2 - you will move in the next year!
:z - [hooly fuckio! this is 100% on the money!
i hefta move to kansas city in july,
i really was planning to commute, but
that will grow insane quite easily, so
yeah, maybe i'll move, lady psychic, yessir! :]
:p2 - what do you do for a living?
:z - computer w0rk.
:p2 - i don't see you staying with that.
you have to go with your heart, it'll be
hard, but you have to do it. maybe in
the next 5 years? ok, your $25 is up!
please do not talk to anyone of the things i've told you.
:z - [ you have done your $88 worth today,
my lady, i was just surveying the airport
jobs at kansas city for an airport skycap
position. w'all now know that pulls in over
$100K a year and for that i won't have any problem
trading the la jolla cove for kansas corn!
lemme run outta here before i trip or somethin:g
anyway, i don't plan to talk, i'll just write it all out :]
oops, have i destroyed the timeline thusly?
lemme just say, my 1st experience with a professional psychic
has been for awesomest!!!! i don't have to go back,
but it might be nice to, just to break some more timeline:z