Possession Is Nine Tenths...
Disclaimer: Paramount owns STAR TREK ... etc and so on and so forth!
My only pay here is personal joy
Summary: The next in the Bonded Souls series. Set in and after STV,
Leonard struggles to deal with the aftermath of Sybok's interaction
with Kirk, Spock and Leonard in the brig on the Enterprise.
Archiving: Cool- if you want to- please let me know.
Feedback: Yes please! All comments are welcome
Author's Note: In response to Janet's challenge to write a story involving
Sybok. Please do forgive any inconsistencies you may find in regards
to the movie. I used the book as a reference. Some of the lines are
direct quotations from the book, but I have fiddled a bit with the
scene in order to make it fit my story...
Once again and with highest respect, my thanks to Janet for her BETA.
Oh dear *Lord*, I work that girl hard, LOL!
Possession Is Nine Tenths...
I shouldn't blame myself.
that. Spock has already gone out of his way to assure me that I'm
not responsible, that even in spite of the strength of the bond
I share with him, I am still Human, ergo vulnerable to the kind
of power a man like Sybok can bring to bear.
logically, as my mate would tell you, I shouldn't blame myself.
I do. I can't help it.
now. Alone in our quarters with only my guilt for company. Spock's
had to attend a debriefing with Jim, and right now I'm sitting in
the middle of a loose end that I *really* don't need.
funny, y'know? How folks perceive things...
you know that Jim got pissed at me for a moment there when he first
found out that Sybok was Spock's brother?
could you not have *told* me, Bones?" he hissed at me afterwards.
mind telling you, that rankled on me. My loyalty to Jim as a friend
and as my Captain is one thing. But my loyalty to my mate is a *whole*
different ball game.
in my eyes must have warned him, because as I looked at him to respond,
he backed off, real smart.
time he's ever backed down from *me*, if I recall correctly.
can you even *ask* that, Jim?" I spat back at him.
of *that* conversation.
with that in mind, I think again about my own guilt. By my own admission,
I will willingly tell you that my bond with Spock is as vital to
living as my own damned heartbeat.
shame burns in me.
so much over my own moment of weakness. Hell, I can accept that
Sybok was stronger. I'm not infallible, never said I was.
what that moment of weakness *forced* my mate to do to me.
how much it hurt him.
what I feel guilty about. The fact that his hand was forced like
that. The fact that he had no other choice.
couldn't allow Sybok to weaken our already precarious position by
splitting us apart. We *had* to remain together, and that was the
only way to do it.
I was so arrogant. Standing in that cell, taunting Sybok with all
that talk about brainwashing... I might has well have just *dared*
him to try it on me.
in a way, I did.
pain, Doctor McCoy, is the deepest of all," he said to me.
of a sudden, I was really scared. Those dark eyes of his were filled
with zeal and yes, madness. It was there all right. But so was the
strength, the power of his delusions.
Spock's mind warning me, reaching out to me, making a grab for me.
dear God. He missed.
something akin to contempt, Sybok had flicked him aside. He *knew*
we were mates... and he didn't give a damn.
echo of Spock's anguish still haunts me.
I'm sorry beautiful. I'm so damned sorry.
Everything felt hazy, as if he was separated from reality by a warm
layer of velvet.
he could do was stare in awe and wonder at the face before him.
The face that had taken away all his pain.
had carried the agony of his father's death within his heart for
so long that he barely even thought about it anymore. Through talking
with Spock, he had reached a level of acceptance... but then Sybok
had brought it all back to him with shocking suddenness, and then
just as suddenly, removed it.
he felt numb.
inside, a voice was screaming at him, telling him to wake up, to
listen, to *hear* for God's sake.
was trapped. Distant and aloof from the moment taking place around
him. He heard voices, voices he knew, a voice that he loved, but
it did not reach him.
believe," Spock was saying calmly, "that we are witnessing
a moment, Leonard tried to shake himself out of it. But then the
calm euphoria settled over him again and he simply smiled.
Sybok was taking Spock's pain away too.
would be all right. No pain. Just warm disconnection.
tried to make Jim see that it was all right. Nothing to fear. Sybok
didn't want to hurt them.
his head felt thick. Filled with cotton, but even that didn't matter.
was leaving. That gleaming, grinning Vulcan face assured now of
his victory. He had two of the three that he wanted on his side.
turned to follow.
did not. "I cannot go with you."
Sybok seemed thrown. Shocked even.
fog in Leonard's head cleared the tiniest fraction. Not really knowing
why, he began to pay attention.
are my brother," Spock told Sybok quietly. "But you do
not know me. I am not the outcast boy you left behind. Since that
time, I have found my place in the universe." Those dark eyes
flicked from Sybok to Leonard. They burned, dark and glittering,
and Leonard found that he simply could not look away. "Here,
among my shipmates." Spock's gaze deepened, his voice strengthened.
"My life is *here*, aboard the Enterprise."
the outside observer, it would have appeared that Leonard suffered
a brief cold shiver. His blue eyes widened imperceptibly, and the
softest gasp left his throat.
blinked, then straightened slightly, moving purposefully across
down beside Spock, Leonard gazed unwaveringly back at Sybok. "I
suppose you'd better count *me* out too."
Vulcan zealot stared closely at the human for a moment, his brow
creased in momentary concentration.
Sybok turned away and left the brig.
the silence left behind, Leonard sighed. A dreadful weary sound
And it was regret. Deep and from my soul. Pain for Spock's pain.
how can I describe what happened during those few tiny seconds?
How can I possibly put into words what I *felt* from him as he crashed
his way through Sybok's hold to reclaim me.
that's what he did.
was no civilized Federation officer at that moment. He was a furious
and possessive dominant Vulcan male, *taking* back ownership of
what belonged to him.
all the time I have known Spock, I *never* once felt that level
of intensity from him.
if Sybok would have dared to do that to me if he had known how Spock
would react. If he had known that the very act would have been the
one thing that would deny him what he wanted.
would *never* follow him. Not after that.
initially denying his brother, Spock had created the distraction
didn't confront Sybok directly. Sybok was a full-blooded Vulcan
and a well trained one, too. The result of that contest could easily
have resulted in Spock's defeat and injury.
he took the logical course. The weaker link.
other words... me.
of trying to break Sybok's control, he focused on *restoring* mine.
didn't have the luxury of time. He couldn't afford to be gentle
the past, our mental communications were soothing and sensual experiences.
A kind of foreplay of the mind, if I can be that crass about it.
Spock would lift me into his arms, and into his mind, cupping both
my consciousness and my physical form in loving hands.
knew he was so strong. He never had reason to show me.
God, in that one second, I was blind to the world around me. Like
a small animal caught in the glare of a ground-car's headlights,
I froze, helpless to move, to *think* beyond what my mate wanted
he was *demanding* of me.
a blaze of cold white light, his consciousness burst into mine.
It hurt. It hurt like hell. It was like having a siren go off in
my ear, only worse, because it was *inside* me.
are *mine*, Leonard. You are my mate. Return to my side at once.//
was like instinct. My mate had called me. And I went.
as I did, I felt pain. Deep and horrified, anguished and filled
with sorrow and shame.
had never, in all his life *forced* me to do anything.
it was all over. During the reception for the Klingons on the observation
deck, I looked into his eyes and softly asked the question.
Are you OK?"
beloved. I am not."
help me, but he actually believed that he had violated me in some
way! Granted, had the situation been different, if he had come to
our bed one night and forced his will on me then yes, maybe I would
have felt that way too. But this?
had had *no* choice. I had left him no choice.
he had been right.
belong to him.
and gazing out the view port of their quarters, Leonard turned to
face the door as Spock walked in.
all finished?" he asked softly.
There will of course, be a follow-up debriefing upon our return
to Earth, but this is to be expected."
wrapped his lean arms around his own body in a peculiar gesture
of self-comfort and turned back to the view port. After a moment,
Spock joined him, standing silently by his side.
want to go back to the house when we get the Earth," Leonard
told him, his blue eyes lost in the stars. "I want us to put
in for leave and spend some time..." His voice faltered.
Spock's warm hands slid over Leonard's rigid shoulders, gentle and
soothing in their caress.
slightly, Leonard smiled somewhat wryly. "Licking our wounds?"
continued to stroke him. Slowly, gently, patiently.
a moment, Leonard leaned back against the lean and solid chest behind
him. As Spock's long arms slid around his body, he bowed his head
and felt the scorch of bitter tears in his eyes.
I'm so sorry, beautiful," he choked out. "I never meant
to hurt you... I..." He shook his head, helplessly trying to
find the words. "I just couldn't *stop* him and..."
turned him around, his warm hands gripping Leonard's trembling shoulders.
words were so sad, so full of conviction and feeling that for a
moment, Leonard could only stare at him.
I did to you was painful for me, yes. But do you deny that it was
swallowed audibly. "No. But I *gave* you no choi..."
*You* also had no choice, Leonard." Spock's rich mouth twitch
wryly for a moment, shades of visible emotion that he was by now
used to showing to his mate. "Did it not occur to you that
Sybok *knew* that we were mates?"
rapidly Leonard frowned, thinking hard. "Of course he knew.
I could *see* that he knew."
And that in choosing you first, he hoped to force my obedience to
him?" Spock's eyes grew momentarily hard with the memory.
felt his own eyes widen. "Why, that crazy son of a *bitch*..."
he breathed. He barked a harsh laugh. "And his followers refer
to him as a man of peace?"
do. And in their eyes, perhaps he always will be." Spock pulled
him close again. "The Sybok *we* were witness to was a very
different one to that which his followers knew, beloved."
leaned his head over Spock's lean shoulder, taking the warmth and
solidity of his form and drawing it into himself. Allowing his mate's
very nearness to comfort him as he struggled with this new information.
didn't expect you to lunge at *me*, did he?" Leonard said finally.
expected you to confront him directly, as *he* would have done."
pulled back slightly, looking deeply into his eyes and nodding slowly.
"And I would have failed, beloved."
Spock..." Leonard touched the drawn face, the elegant ears,
the soft hair. Trying to sooth the pain away with the tips of his
fingers. "God, beautiful."
do not *own* you, Leonard." Spock told him seriously. "You
are not, nor were you ever, a possession."
bothers you a lot, doesn't it? The words you used?"
nodded again, regret reflected in his eyes.
ironic though." Leonard felt his lips twitch into to smile.
"Because even though you say you don't own me, I *do* belong
to you, just as you belong to me." He shrugged. "It's
about giving, beautiful. Not ownership."
his words, the tension eased visibly from Spock's muscles. That
glorious almost-smile that Leonard loved so much appeared on his
face and the human touched it softly, feeling tenderness fill his
we a pair?" he chuckled.
Spock stroked his neck.
me, Spock." Leonard felt the sudden surge of need wash over
him, powerful and undeniable. "Here, right now. Don't make
me wait." He pushed his hands under Spock's uniform tunic,
finding and stroking warm smooth skin.
down he grabbed his mate's firm rump and backed against the ledge
of the view port, bringing Spock with him. Almost immediately, the
Vulcan lifted him up onto the ledge, stepping between his thighs
and grinding a hardened groin into his own.
gasped as he felt Spock working on his pants, freeing his erection.
Dipping between their bodies, Leonard yanked open the fasters on
Spock's uniform pants, allowing the Vulcan's swollen sex out of
it's cloth confinement. Forgoing drawn out lovemaking for the more
immediate business of desperate release, the mates grabbed each
other tightly, strong hands gripping flexing backsides as they ground
their erections together, creating a delicious friction, a quickening
moaned and captured Spock's soft lips in a searing, searching kiss.
God he needed this, his realized hazily. They *both* did.
were *both* the victims here.
felt Spock's hands slide up his to face and he redoubled his grip
on his mate's surging hips, compensating for the loss of leverage
that had occurred when Spock moved his hands.
yes, beautiful!" He whispered against his mate's mouth. "God
sweetheart, do it... do it!"
the word was a silent groan in his mind as Spock gently widened
their link, letting his mind meet and mix with his bondmate's. Hiding
nothing, giving everything.
head fell back, a wail of pure ecstasy leaving his throat as he
arched against Spock, feeling his body explode into orgasm. Feeling
an answering wave of pleasure roar back at him as his beautiful
Vulcan came in his arms.
felt the heat of their release gushing between their bellies, felt
his mate's fulfillment and adoration. Felt his own body tremble
and jerk as he rode out their climax in a series of low helpless
felt his guilt and shame flow away as understanding filled them
both. They were still whole; they were still one. Sybok had only
had not been broken.
in a deep and trembling breath, Leonard clung to his mate thankfully
as the afterglow of their peak slowly faded.
adore you, beloved. I belong to you.//
smiled and pressed his lips to Spock's damp neck. //I belong to
you too, beautiful. All of me. For all time.//