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Title: Possession Is Nine Tenths...
Author: Ainzfern
Series: TOS
Code: S/Mc
Rating: NC-17
Parts: 1/1
Disclaimer: Paramount owns STAR TREK ... etc and so on and so forth!
My only pay here is personal joy
Summary: The next in the Bonded Souls series. Set in and after STV, Leonard struggles to deal with the aftermath of Sybok's interaction with Kirk, Spock and Leonard in the brig on the Enterprise.
Archiving: Cool- if you want to- please let me know.
Feedback: Yes please! All comments are welcome
Author's Note: In response to Janet's challenge to write a story involving Sybok. Please do forgive any inconsistencies you may find in regards to the movie. I used the book as a reference. Some of the lines are direct quotations from the book, but I have fiddled a bit with the scene in order to make it fit my story...
Once again and with highest respect, my thanks to Janet for her BETA. Oh dear *Lord*, I work that girl hard, LOL!


Possession Is Nine Tenths...

I know I shouldn't blame myself.

I know that. Spock has already gone out of his way to assure me that I'm not responsible, that even in spite of the strength of the bond I share with him, I am still Human, ergo vulnerable to the kind of power a man like Sybok can bring to bear.

So, logically, as my mate would tell you, I shouldn't blame myself.

But I do. I can't help it.

Especially now. Alone in our quarters with only my guilt for company. Spock's had to attend a debriefing with Jim, and right now I'm sitting in the middle of a loose end that I *really* don't need.

It's funny, y'know? How folks perceive things...

Did you know that Jim got pissed at me for a moment there when he first found out that Sybok was Spock's brother?

"How could you not have *told* me, Bones?" he hissed at me afterwards.

I don't mind telling you, that rankled on me. My loyalty to Jim as a friend and as my Captain is one thing. But my loyalty to my mate is a *whole* different ball game.

Something in my eyes must have warned him, because as I looked at him to respond, he backed off, real smart.

First time he's ever backed down from *me*, if I recall correctly.

"How can you even *ask* that, Jim?" I spat back at him.

End of *that* conversation.

And with that in mind, I think again about my own guilt. By my own admission, I will willingly tell you that my bond with Spock is as vital to living as my own damned heartbeat.

The shame burns in me.

Not so much over my own moment of weakness. Hell, I can accept that Sybok was stronger. I'm not infallible, never said I was.

It's what that moment of weakness *forced* my mate to do to me.

It's how much it hurt him.

That's what I feel guilty about. The fact that his hand was forced like that. The fact that he had no other choice.

He couldn't allow Sybok to weaken our already precarious position by splitting us apart. We *had* to remain together, and that was the only way to do it.

Dammit, I was so arrogant. Standing in that cell, taunting Sybok with all that talk about brainwashing... I might has well have just *dared* him to try it on me.

Perhaps in a way, I did.

"Your pain, Doctor McCoy, is the deepest of all," he said to me.

All of a sudden, I was really scared. Those dark eyes of his were filled with zeal and yes, madness. It was there all right. But so was the strength, the power of his delusions.

I felt Spock's mind warning me, reaching out to me, making a grab for me.

Oh dear God. He missed.

With something akin to contempt, Sybok had flicked him aside. He *knew* we were mates... and he didn't give a damn.

The echo of Spock's anguish still haunts me.

God, I'm sorry beautiful. I'm so damned sorry.


*****


Everything felt hazy, as if he was separated from reality by a warm layer of velvet.

All he could do was stare in awe and wonder at the face before him. The face that had taken away all his pain.

Leonard had carried the agony of his father's death within his heart for so long that he barely even thought about it anymore. Through talking with Spock, he had reached a level of acceptance... but then Sybok had brought it all back to him with shocking suddenness, and then just as suddenly, removed it.

Now he felt numb.

Deep inside, a voice was screaming at him, telling him to wake up, to listen, to *hear* for God's sake.

He was trapped. Distant and aloof from the moment taking place around him. He heard voices, voices he knew, a voice that he loved, but it did not reach him.

"I believe," Spock was saying calmly, "that we are witnessing my birth."

For a moment, Leonard tried to shake himself out of it. But then the calm euphoria settled over him again and he simply smiled.

Good. Sybok was taking Spock's pain away too.

Everything would be all right. No pain. Just warm disconnection.

He tried to make Jim see that it was all right. Nothing to fear. Sybok didn't want to hurt them.

God, his head felt thick. Filled with cotton, but even that didn't matter.

Sybok was leaving. That gleaming, grinning Vulcan face assured now of his victory. He had two of the three that he wanted on his side.

Leonard turned to follow.

Spock did not. "I cannot go with you."

"Why?" Sybok seemed thrown. Shocked even.

The fog in Leonard's head cleared the tiniest fraction. Not really knowing why, he began to pay attention.

"You are my brother," Spock told Sybok quietly. "But you do not know me. I am not the outcast boy you left behind. Since that time, I have found my place in the universe." Those dark eyes flicked from Sybok to Leonard. They burned, dark and glittering, and Leonard found that he simply could not look away. "Here, among my shipmates." Spock's gaze deepened, his voice strengthened. "My life is *here*, aboard the Enterprise."

To the outside observer, it would have appeared that Leonard suffered a brief cold shiver. His blue eyes widened imperceptibly, and the softest gasp left his throat.

He blinked, then straightened slightly, moving purposefully across the room.

Away from Sybok.

Towards his mate.

Sitting down beside Spock, Leonard gazed unwaveringly back at Sybok. "I suppose you'd better count *me* out too."

The Vulcan zealot stared closely at the human for a moment, his brow creased in momentary concentration.

Spock's face hardened.

Thwarted, Sybok turned away and left the brig.

In the silence left behind, Leonard sighed. A dreadful weary sound of regret.


*****


And it was regret. Deep and from my soul. Pain for Spock's pain.

God... how can I describe what happened during those few tiny seconds? How can I possibly put into words what I *felt* from him as he crashed his way through Sybok's hold to reclaim me.

And that's what he did.

He was no civilized Federation officer at that moment. He was a furious and possessive dominant Vulcan male, *taking* back ownership of what belonged to him.

In all the time I have known Spock, I *never* once felt that level of intensity from him.

I wonder if Sybok would have dared to do that to me if he had known how Spock would react. If he had known that the very act would have been the one thing that would deny him what he wanted.

Spock would *never* follow him. Not after that.

By initially denying his brother, Spock had created the distraction he needed.

And he leapt.

He didn't confront Sybok directly. Sybok was a full-blooded Vulcan and a well trained one, too. The result of that contest could easily have resulted in Spock's defeat and injury.

So he took the logical course. The weaker link.

In other words... me.

Instead of trying to break Sybok's control, he focused on *restoring* mine.

He didn't have the luxury of time. He couldn't afford to be gentle with me.

In the past, our mental communications were soothing and sensual experiences. A kind of foreplay of the mind, if I can be that crass about it. Spock would lift me into his arms, and into his mind, cupping both my consciousness and my physical form in loving hands.

I never knew he was so strong. He never had reason to show me.

Oh God, in that one second, I was blind to the world around me. Like a small animal caught in the glare of a ground-car's headlights, I froze, helpless to move, to *think* beyond what my mate wanted of me.

What he was *demanding* of me.

Like a blaze of cold white light, his consciousness burst into mine. It hurt. It hurt like hell. It was like having a siren go off in my ear, only worse, because it was *inside* me.

//You are *mine*, Leonard. You are my mate. Return to my side at once.//

It was like instinct. My mate had called me. And I went.

And as I did, I felt pain. Deep and horrified, anguished and filled with sorrow and shame.

Not mine.

Spock's.

He had never, in all his life *forced* me to do anything.

Until that moment.

After it was all over. During the reception for the Klingons on the observation deck, I looked into his eyes and softly asked the question.

"Beautiful? Are you OK?"

"No, beloved. I am not."

God help me, but he actually believed that he had violated me in some way! Granted, had the situation been different, if he had come to our bed one night and forced his will on me then yes, maybe I would have felt that way too. But this?

He had had *no* choice. I had left him no choice.

Besides... he had been right.

I *do* belong to him.


*****


"Leonard?"

Standing and gazing out the view port of their quarters, Leonard turned to face the door as Spock walked in.

"You all finished?" he asked softly.

"Yes. There will of course, be a follow-up debriefing upon our return to Earth, but this is to be expected."

Leonard wrapped his lean arms around his own body in a peculiar gesture of self-comfort and turned back to the view port. After a moment, Spock joined him, standing silently by his side.

Waiting.

"I want to go back to the house when we get the Earth," Leonard told him, his blue eyes lost in the stars. "I want us to put in for leave and spend some time..." His voice faltered.

"Recovering?" Spock's warm hands slid over Leonard's rigid shoulders, gentle and soothing in their caress.

Relaxing slightly, Leonard smiled somewhat wryly. "Licking our wounds?"

Spock continued to stroke him. Slowly, gently, patiently.

After a moment, Leonard leaned back against the lean and solid chest behind him. As Spock's long arms slid around his body, he bowed his head and felt the scorch of bitter tears in his eyes.

"God, I'm so sorry, beautiful," he choked out. "I never meant to hurt you... I..." He shook his head, helplessly trying to find the words. "I just couldn't *stop* him and..."

Spock turned him around, his warm hands gripping Leonard's trembling shoulders. "Please stop."

The words were so sad, so full of conviction and feeling that for a moment, Leonard could only stare at him.

"What I did to you was painful for me, yes. But do you deny that it was necessary?"

Leonard swallowed audibly. "No. But I *gave* you no choi..."

"Stop. *You* also had no choice, Leonard." Spock's rich mouth twitch wryly for a moment, shades of visible emotion that he was by now used to showing to his mate. "Did it not occur to you that Sybok *knew* that we were mates?"

Blinking rapidly Leonard frowned, thinking hard. "Of course he knew. I could *see* that he knew."

"Yes. And that in choosing you first, he hoped to force my obedience to him?" Spock's eyes grew momentarily hard with the memory.

Leonard felt his own eyes widen. "Why, that crazy son of a *bitch*..." he breathed. He barked a harsh laugh. "And his followers refer to him as a man of peace?"

"They do. And in their eyes, perhaps he always will be." Spock pulled him close again. "The Sybok *we* were witness to was a very different one to that which his followers knew, beloved."

Leonard leaned his head over Spock's lean shoulder, taking the warmth and solidity of his form and drawing it into himself. Allowing his mate's very nearness to comfort him as he struggled with this new information.

"He didn't expect you to lunge at *me*, did he?" Leonard said finally.

"No."

"He expected you to confront him directly, as *he* would have done."

Spock pulled back slightly, looking deeply into his eyes and nodding slowly. "And I would have failed, beloved."

"Oh, Spock..." Leonard touched the drawn face, the elegant ears, the soft hair. Trying to sooth the pain away with the tips of his fingers. "God, beautiful."

"I do not *own* you, Leonard." Spock told him seriously. "You are not, nor were you ever, a possession."

"It bothers you a lot, doesn't it? The words you used?"

Spock nodded again, regret reflected in his eyes.

"It's ironic though." Leonard felt his lips twitch into to smile. "Because even though you say you don't own me, I *do* belong to you, just as you belong to me." He shrugged. "It's about giving, beautiful. Not ownership."

At his words, the tension eased visibly from Spock's muscles. That glorious almost-smile that Leonard loved so much appeared on his face and the human touched it softly, feeling tenderness fill his heart.

"Ain't we a pair?" he chuckled.

"Indeed." Spock stroked his neck.

"Love me, Spock." Leonard felt the sudden surge of need wash over him, powerful and undeniable. "Here, right now. Don't make me wait." He pushed his hands under Spock's uniform tunic, finding and stroking warm smooth skin.

Reaching down he grabbed his mate's firm rump and backed against the ledge of the view port, bringing Spock with him. Almost immediately, the Vulcan lifted him up onto the ledge, stepping between his thighs and grinding a hardened groin into his own.

Leonard gasped as he felt Spock working on his pants, freeing his erection. Dipping between their bodies, Leonard yanked open the fasters on Spock's uniform pants, allowing the Vulcan's swollen sex out of it's cloth confinement. Forgoing drawn out lovemaking for the more immediate business of desperate release, the mates grabbed each other tightly, strong hands gripping flexing backsides as they ground their erections together, creating a delicious friction, a quickening rhythm.

Leonard moaned and captured Spock's soft lips in a searing, searching kiss. God he needed this, his realized hazily. They *both* did.

They were *both* the victims here.

He felt Spock's hands slide up his to face and he redoubled his grip on his mate's surging hips, compensating for the loss of leverage that had occurred when Spock moved his hands.

"Oh yes, beautiful!" He whispered against his mate's mouth. "God sweetheart, do it... do it!"

//Beloved...// the word was a silent groan in his mind as Spock gently widened their link, letting his mind meet and mix with his bondmate's. Hiding nothing, giving everything.

Leonard's head fell back, a wail of pure ecstasy leaving his throat as he arched against Spock, feeling his body explode into orgasm. Feeling an answering wave of pleasure roar back at him as his beautiful Vulcan came in his arms.

He felt the heat of their release gushing between their bellies, felt his mate's fulfillment and adoration. Felt his own body tremble and jerk as he rode out their climax in a series of low helpless cries.

He felt his guilt and shame flow away as understanding filled them both. They were still whole; they were still one. Sybok had only bruised them.

They had not been broken.

Pulling in a deep and trembling breath, Leonard clung to his mate thankfully as the afterglow of their peak slowly faded.

//I adore you, beloved. I belong to you.//

Leonard smiled and pressed his lips to Spock's damp neck. //I belong to you too, beautiful. All of me. For all time.//

A vow made.

A healing begun.

Not ownership... belonging.

END
Ainzfern...

 

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