November, 20, 2004

Are your eyes tired? Are you sick of all the reading you have to do on the internet? Do you know how to read? Well worry no more my little weirdos......there are over a hundred retarded videos here for your viewing displeasure. Get your crack pipe, sit back, relax, suck on that glass deezy and watch some of the most retarded shit that the internet has to offer. Isn't that right, internet? Internet: "STOP BOTHERING ME, ASSHOLE, I'M TRYING TO ENTERTAIN BILLIONS OF PEOPLE".

P.S. I'M NOT THE FUCKING MANSHOW BOY!

email: Andy Milonakis andym@angrynakedpat.com
Aol users email andymilonakis@hotmail.com (I can't respond to aol on the other address)


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If the videos don't work, go download the latest Windows Media Player for PC or MAC

I made a music profile on My Space, Click Here to check it out, I'll be uploading some more mp3s soon. Also people, can watch some of my shorts on Bravo on a new show called Downloaded.

I HAVE A SHITLOAD OF FREESTYLE RAPS (and a few written) on here so I'm going to list them all on the top of the page here.......If you don't want to see my ill wack raps, Scroll down until you see the "COMEDY SKITS" section, and that's where all of my NON RAP comedy skits will be.

RAP FREESTYLES

*a few are written, I wrote WRITTEN on them...smart huh?*

DJ Megget, Screwed & Chopped version of NYC Written (MP3)

CRISPY FREESTYLE PART 5 (9/25/04)

CRISPY FREESTYLE PART 1 (VIDEO) (MP3)

I Love Beaver Cleaver (MP3) (NEWWW SEPT 4th)

YOYOYO STUPID FREESTYLE (August 24th) NEWWWWW

NEW NEW WRITTEN RAP - EVIL.MP3 (AUGUST 18TH) (LYRICS)

New Written Rap ( NYC.MP3)

Infinity Freestyle - CLICK HERE - July, 10 - NEW

CRISPY Part 4 - Written ----Click Here to watch ..... Lyrics

SONG WITH SIR MIX A LOT (need to download ZANGO for this video only) CLICK HERE TO WATCH.

NEWER THAN NEW CRISPY FREESTYLE PART 3 (4/20)
Beat by mindsore.com

EWNWNEEEEEEEEEW WEBCAM FREESTYLE PART 2

CD QUALITY MP3 - FREESTYLE - Produced by Dirt Nasty
DIRTY NASTY & ANDY MILONAKIS - MICHAEL JACKSON -MP3

Newwwwwwwww ORPHAN FREESTYLE (2/29)

NEWWWWWWW OH MY GOD - Freestyle 1/30/04

NEWWWWWWWW WEBCAM FREESTYLE (4/29)

NEWEWE LJHOIHDSF LEET HACKER RAP (4/29) (written)

NEWWWWW PSYCHO RAP (5/15) (I took the Oh My God Freestyle and had FUN with it)

Crispy Freestyle Part 2 video

Wacktarded Freestyle Part 2 video

Greek Whinin' 6 Drunken Freestyle video

Lemons Freestyle video

NEWWWBLAH VIDEO! Night Vision Freestyle (beats by audioresearch.net)

Click Here to watch SPIDER THIS (3 YEARS OLD)

NEWWEEEEST MISHMOSH FREESTYLE (5/12) beat by dmichael.org

NEW VIDEO - Fatty Freestyle (WMV) - Fatty Freestyle (MOV) (beats by audioresearch.net)

NEW VIDEO 4/9 Some Written Shit (Windows Media)
NEW VIDEO! 4/5 Smokin' Beenies Freestyle Rap (Windows Media)

NEW VIDEO! 3/17 Greek Whinin' 3: Just Buzzin' Cuzzin - Freestyle (Windows Media 4MB) Thanks to http://www.337screw.com for providing me with the beat.

Greek Whinin' Part 2 WATCH IT!!>>

Holiday Drinky Drinky Rap WATCH IT!!>>

Greek Whinin' WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Fake Meat Snacks WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

CHONKY WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Ice Cream Rap: WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media (FIRST VIDEO)

 

COMEDY SKITS

 

My Dick Doesn't Like Me Anymore (Guitar ---song) (AUGUST 21ST) NEWWWW

NEWWWWWWER MAD WORLD (4/7)
 NEWWWWWWW SUSHI GOT WHEELS (3/5)

NeWWWWWWWWWW POOR ANDY (3/1)

NEEWWEREST NIPPLES ARE EVERYTHING (SONG) (2/19)

THE NEEWWW MY PENIS HOLE (SONG) (2/13/04)

NEWER THAN OLD I Was Never President 1/27/04

BRANDESTEST NEWEST JESUS IS REAL 1/20/04

BRANDEST NEWEST INSPIRATION 1/17/04

BRAND NEWEST FBI AGENT 1/6/04

Dead To The World video

One Can Of Corn Song video

Best Friends Sometimes Fuck Part 2 video

NEWNEWNEWNEWNEW VIDEO! CLICK HERE TO WATCH "APPLE"

NEWESTTTTTT VIDEO! Best Friends Sometimes Fuck (WMV) - Best Friends Sometimes Fuck (MOV)

I hope no one thinks I sold out....I got paid a few thousand bucks to do an Anti-Drug commercial......but I did it on my conditions....I got to swear and act a little wacky...so it's not going to air on TV but it'll be on the Anti-Drug site and HERE!
WATCH THE COMMERCIAL! (My Anti-Drug -WMV) (My Anti-Drug - MOV)

Watch The Superbowl Is Gay(Win Media) or (Quicktime)

NEWESST VIDEO!!!! One Man Band (WMV) - One Man Band (mov) ---I wrote this one, no improv
NEWY NEW VIDEO - Shirts Vs. Skins (WMV) - Shirts Vs. Skins (Mov)
NEWEST VIDEO NEW NEW - Chocolate Water
NEWEST VIDEO 4/11 In Love With An Old Chick (Windows Media)
NEW VIDEO! 3/31 Walking (Windows Media)
NEW VIDEO! 3/21 Imagine (1MB Windows Media)
NEW VIDEO! 3/20! How To Fake Interest & Laughter So You Don't Hurt Your Friends & Family. (3MB)
NEW VIDEO! 3/7 The Day My Rabbit Died (Windows Media)
NEW VIDEO! 3/14 Check out my new show for widdle kiddies THE CHARLIE FUNTIME SHOW
NEW ICF VIDEO - 3/2 NYC Hullabalooza
 OLD ICF VIDEO - Chunky Peanut Butter Boy (Windows Media) or (Quicktime)
NEW ICF VIDEO - 2/29 I Like (Windows Media 1.5MB)
NEW ICF VIDEO - 2/26 Pudding Makes You Crazy (Windows Media 6MB)
A bunch of people have been requesting a song for kids because most of my stuff is too naughty, so I did my own version of BINGO for the kids. Watch BINGO (Windows Media 3MB)

Pittsburgh Comic Con Issue #2 WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Pittsburgh Comic Con Part 1: Nik The Dik WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Hidden Beast WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Emceee Ashtray
Emcee Ashtray is keepin it gully, gator, gangsta, thug, but most of all he's keepin it real. If you don't believe me, watch the video and find out. He'll give you a little run down of what his daily activities consist of. WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Internet Dorktastic WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Kid's Songs Volume 2
This new collection of Kid's songs is sweeping the nation. Mothers, be sure to order tons of copies for all of your bastard children, the wild and wacky Kid's Songs CD will make them forget that they don't have a daddy.
DO YOU THINK I'M WEIRD? YOU MUST HAVE NOT SEEN MY FRIEND'S MOVIE, BEER UNIVERSITY, NOW THAT DUDE IS CRAZY.
WATCH KID'S SONGS, YOU LOSERS!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac -

Blizzard Interview WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

Chicken Man WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

A Cry For Help WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

LIFE WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

 

 

Buy "Andy Milonakis Is Retarded" merchandise...T-shirts, bags, mugs etc.





Cuppy
Listen to the wonderful yet sad tale of how Michael Eisner lost his vision. Although he is still learning how to cope with this horrific loss, he doesn't want you to feel sorry for him. He just wants you to love him and think he's cool.
WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac - hosted by angrynakedpat



Dr. Curly
This short is about me and my dear friend Dr. Curly. It's also about life, love, anger, pain, trust, jealousy and a whole bunch of other words. It's fun for all ages so be sure to get your grandma (nanna as the weirdos call it) and enjoy it with her while you gulp down a delicious bowl of Rasberry Porridge.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac

Accents

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


Bloomberg, Shut Up

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


Suzy (The Song That Never Ends)

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

Don't Matter Just Don't Bite It - Video Remix

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


Turkey Day

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


THE TRUTH

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

GTA Vice City - Doug & Candace

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


No

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

WATCH IT!!>> Brian Lynch's cut of "NO"


Rain

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

Snacks

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


My Big Fat Greek Interview
A few doors down from my new apartment in Astoria is an electronics store owned by a fellow Greek. I paid the Greek a visit today with my trusty camera and pressed record and that's when the magic happened.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


Spin The Bottle
You already know how to play spin the bottle but not quite like this. Watch this video to learn how to put a whole new SPIN on this game.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

The Chunky Peanut Butter Boy Story
This sucker, I had nothing to do with.....Mathew Waring (did I spell that right? I hope so) created this True E! Hollywood story on our beloved Chunky Peanut Butter Boy, ok maybe beloved is a strong word, how about our belik-ed?. If you're interested in the story of Chunky, tune in and grab your kleenex. A shout out also to the always lovely and sacrilegious Amanda Adkins (did I spell that right? I hope so) and Mathew's bro (What's his name and I'll put it up, maybe)

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


Real Boy's Cozy Cabin Weblog
Hi, my handle is Real Boy and this is my weblog for Sunday, July 21st, 2002. Enjoy.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


Another Sappy Love Song
Sorry to get a little sappy but love is crazy and sometimes it makes you do crazy things......like sing really sappy love songs.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac

What?
HUH?

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC & Mac


The HIBICBYIARMF Guy
This is my shortest video to date and the god damn thing took me 2 months to finally get off my ass and make it...
Thanks to Pete Capella for his lovely vocal talents and great facial expressions - If you live in NY or Jersey go see him perform at Improv Jam and thanks to the lovely webmaster, chad vavaroom for shooting it.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC

WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac & PC


A Sad Story
This is a sad story, watch it.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC

WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac & PC

A New Approach
I've been doing these Ice Cream videos for about 7 months or so and I thought I'd try something a little bit different. I want to keep changing it so you don't get bored. Wait, are you bored? Fuck, am I too late? If I am, fuck you. Cursing is awesome.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Peter Pan Audition Tape
The Somber one told me that he's doing an audition tape for the new live action Peter Pan movie because there is an open casting call, so I thought I'd have a little fun and do one myself, I'm sending it in sometime this week but you can see it right here, right fucking now. Cursing is funny.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

The Andy Show
The show that's so great that after people watch it they say "that show is great".

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Lil Boriqua
To introduce this lil video, we're going to do some math equations.
Fat kid + dancing = comedy
Fat White Kid + Spanish Reggae + Dancing = Scary

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

McFun Part 2
I hate Miccy D's, it makes me feel icky inside. My evil Greek father makes me go there for him once in awhile...last time I brought my camera and it made the whole Miccy D experience a fun and happy time, so this time I did the same....It's like Disney World but you don't have to go on rides to make you sick, you just have to eat their food.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Deeper Than Jack #1
If you people thought SNL's Jack Handy was deep....good lord you better prepare yourself. If this new little show was an ocean, you wouldn't be able to swim to the bottom of it unless you had some SCUBA gear....and SCUBA gear is fuckin' crazy expensive.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

McFun
Fun fun fun at the Miccy D's drivethru.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Andy & C. Vanveer
Andy & C. Vanveer are sweeping the nation....nuff said.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Crazy Marching Band
Don't let the pretty picture fool you, it's just another video of me in my room. Not just me, no no, but The Crazy Marching Band, which is, uhh, just me, ok fine, you win this time....but you won't feel like celebrating after watching this video, unless you celebrate by making tears come out of your eyes and screaming "KILLLLL MEEEEEEE".

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Best Of The Worstest
I took some bits and pieces from the skits that never made it and also threw in some cut stuff from skits that did make it, and OH DID THEY MAKE IT.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Cuppy Is Really Funny
Cuppy is really funny. Who says so? Brian Lynch says so and that's all that matters.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Aaron Carter's Box Blah Blah
Aaron Carter's box is happy to get rid of the stupid little brat. Listen to him go on and on about just how happy he is to be a free man, uh, box, a free box, I would make a "free box" joke but I'm above that. Apparently I'm not above making videos of talking boxes.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Aaron Carter, Top Charter
Meet one of my favorite dolls, the Aaron Carter doll. I named him Charlie Robinson. He can dance and he can sing and he can bring alot of joy to a little girl or boy. Get to know and love him. When I bought this doll a couple of weeks ago, the stupid girl at Sam Goody gave me a mean look, I don't think she likes Aaron Carter dolls. This should make her happy because I bought him and now she doesn't have to look at him anymore.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Professor Weirdenheimer #1
Watch the first episode of Professor Weirdenheimmer. He's like a cross between Mr. Wizard and Mr. Weirdzard. Mr. Weirdzard. Who the fuck is Mr. Weirdzard? I don't know just watch the video and stop reading this stupid fucking intro.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Wild Up Indian Punany
This is a song that sounds like indian reggae kinda and I kinda draw stuff and say stuff while listening to it. Dude, it's fucking crazy interesting. Forget about what's happening to Rachel on friends....spend your time wisely and watch me draw and say stuff to indian music. Who the hell can think about Friends when I'm pumping out these fucking wildly exciting videos. GEEEEEZ.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

A Beautiful Story
Look & listen to this completely beautiful, deep, sad, fun, heart breaking, tear jerking, amazing, incredible story. Then watch it again.....no not because it's just so great (but it is) but because you might need to watch it a couple of times to find out what the motherhell is going on.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

 
Puppets
I think it's pretty weird how everyone gets a huge kick out of cursing puppets. The writer and director of Meet The Feebles seemed to think there was a huge calling for that type of thing. Instead of it being an original and witty R rated puppet movie, it was just a bunch of puppets that had sex, said alot of dirty things and did drugs. I bought some puppets last week because I thought it would be fun to do the same thing, to show how stupid it is. This is just the first little thing that I've done and it's mostly just a bunch of gibberish but I think I might bring them back in a real skit type deal, one that isn't just cursing and making fun of horrible movies like Meet The Feebles.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Are You Stormin Norman?
Stormin Norman has a video show on the internet. Stormin Norman is a wacky guy. I met him in NJ this year, he seemed like a nice guy so I thought I'd make a video tribute to him....or parody.....or whatever you want to call it. He likes to do video clips of girls and their breasts and that's cool. Funny? I'm not so sure about. Don't forget to watch the one where he puts in fake teeth and makes a funny voice. Who am I to judge? I smear peanutbutter on my face.....ok, i'll tell you who I am to judge. I am Andy Milonakis, and I am judging. Stormin Norman = Not Funny. ARE YOU BEN AFFLECK PHANTOMS IS DA BOMB STORMIN NORMAN IT BE THE BOMB I TELLS YA.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media (Part 1): PC
WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media (Part 2): PC
WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media (FULL): PC

WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime (Part 1): Mac and PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime (Part 2): Mac and PC

Suburban Pimp
Watch a couple of wonderful acts of Suburban Pimp, a Play about a pimp named Jimmy Withers that moved from Upstate NY to Harlem, NY. Will he fit in with the other Pimps? Will they let him join in any Pimpin games? (Rudolph reference, yes, brilliant).

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Cereal Weirdos
Enzo and I loves us some Cereal......what kinds you ask? Just watch this deep and moving video clip and find out.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

First Fat Guy To Drink A Bottle Of Perrier Water While Listening To Jungle Music
Sure this might not be the funniest idea in the world but it sure is unique. Where else on the internet have you seen a fat guy drinking a bottle of Perrier while listening to jungle music? No where, that's where because I'm the first to have done it. I should warn you that there are imposters, for example I told my former friend Enzo Salierno about this idea and while I was on vacation in NJ, he stole it. He broke into my house, used my camcorder and even video taped the stolen idea right in my very own bedroom. What can I say, it's a doggy dog world but to steal an idea from your own friend just because it's super unique and innovative....it's just wrong. Not to mention, 1) He's not fat, he stuffed his face with cotton and his belly with clothes, most likely my clothes. and 2) In his video, the music isn't even Jungle music, he probably couldn't work my mp3 player so he played one of my father's Greek CDs. See for yourself ---------
http://fatguydrinkingwater.tripod.com

First watch mine below
WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media: PC
WATCH IT!!>> Quicktime: Mac and PC

Cuppy
Listen to the wonderful yet sad tale of how Michael Eisner lost his vision. Although he is still learning how to cope with this horrific loss, he doesn't want you to feel sorry for him. He just wants you to love him and think he's cool.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Brooklyn Thug
Brooklyn is known for alot of things....The Brooklyn Bridge, The Brooklyn Dodgers, Coney Island but most of all thugs. Find out exactly how one "keeps it gangsta"

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Holiday Shopping
I'm always one of those people that are excited about the holidays. The cookies, the presents, the shopping, the music, all of it. Here I am christmas shopping in a book store and I get taken over by the powerful holiday music. How can I just stand there and read and pick out books when they play such loud, powerful music? I can't, that's how.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Open Mic Night
I'm not sure if you know this about me but sometimes I like to dabble in the fine art known as poetry. It makes the inner me come out and say "hey outter me, I'm inner me and Andy brought me out, so I'm outter you right now and what does that make you, you ask? How am I supposed to know, I'm not some genius, I'm just inner me. Here is a look at one of my favorite poems from Open Mic Night.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media (It's a big file, so just press "stop" on media player and wait until it fully downloads before you play it.)

Old Habbits Die Hard
Poor little Andy, they won't sell him cigarettes at 7-11. Is it because he looks so damn young or because his ID looks fake? Who knows but I don't think acting like a middle schooler will help convince the clerks that he's of age.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Christmas Fantastic
Christmas is almost here so Enzo and I made a lovely Christmas carol for all of you. Forget greeting cards, this year send your family member or loved one the "Andy & Enzo Christmas Fantastic" Christmas carol.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Shrinky Dink Manifesto
Mother disown me, my sister don't like me, my friends do, I'm a good friend to them and I play games with them. This is my story it's good.

WATCH IT!!>> Windows Media

Copyright 2000 - 2004 Angry Naked Pat