Poor Website

Introducing our new web policy

Dear Website,

We are neglecting you, nplusonemag. You've noticed? Yes. It's because you were too good. People told us so. "I like your Web magazine," they said. "Or 'Web-zine.' Or is it a 'blog'?"

"We're a print journal," we said. "The print journal is epochal. The website is just for topical and weird stuff, like charts and indices. It is not a blog. We don't comment on the New York Times Book Review. We don't even make fun of Michiko Kakutani."

"Why not? Everyone makes fun of Michiko Kakutani."

"We've written for the Times book review. It is what it is. And Kakutani is fine. You try reviewing two books a week."

"I do. I review four books a week on Amazon.com."

"Really. So you should review our first issue. It's a real intellectual and literary event."

"Nah. I feel that it's important for me to 'weigh in' on the books everyone else is reviewing. I think that's really the important thing."

So you see our dilemma, nplusonemag. We've placed you in a land of idiots. We'd never have given birth to you, if we'd known. But here you are, and we love you. So we're shifting our strategy. From here on out, we are only going to publish things that suck. Did you hear that, everyone? Our former guidelines were complicated and ambiguous ("only that which, generically, cannot appear in the print issue," etc.), but this one is beautifully simple: only that which sucks. If you've written something that sucks, please send it, and up it goes.

And no more smart-quotes.

Best wishes,

The Editors

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