Destiny's Child

styles: cola, hair dye, and McDonald's commercials, Hallmark Cards
others: TLC, New Kids On The Block, Milli Vanilli, Jessica Simpson

Destiny Fulfilled
Sony Urban Music, 2004
rating: 1/5
reviewer: filmore mescalito holmes

Destiny Fulfilled starts off pitifully and only gets worse. Sure, this is the most mainstream pop music on the market, so their label can afford the most expensive software to generate their music. As the sound hits your ears, it will sound good, but music like this is and always has been like a paper milk cap; it looks like it'll do the job, but it doesn't last long and is doomed to disintegrate and be forgotten, ravaged and soggy, once the RIAA has wrenched every dripping morsel of usefulness out of it.

Every lyric here is a knife in Shakespeare's ass, as each song deals exclusively with sexual ecstasy and the usual superstar relationship crap in the most watered down, impersonal, dispassionate language possible. For example, instead of saying "you can't make me cum" like Frank Zappa on "Dinah-Moe Humm," Beyoncé (who somehow managed to record this album between all her cosmetics commercials and men's magazine photo shoots) sings, "now I see why the little you ride me/ Gave you the wheel, but you can't drive me." Ever notice how often driving metaphors come up in shit pop music? Anyway, she turns around two tracks later and moans about how just his t-shirt gets her wet, so I guess she's a fickle one.

Aside from the total ignorance of the usual pop-ocritical trading of feelings towards their men on every track, the success of this album depends once again on the complete suspension of die-hard fans' disbelief that Beyoncé "Your Ad Here" Knowles could ever actually truly love another human being as much as she loves herself and her possessions. The rock she's rockin'? She bought it... and the acquisition of more is infinitely more important to her supercilious, plastic soul than anything else, including humans, animals, plant life, and eternity. She'd do commercials for Al-Qaeda without batting an eye if they paid in advance. Seriously though, how can anyone take anything seriously about a group who follows "Through With Love," a track where the frustrated girls write off men in lieu of God, with "Love," where they proclaim to have found love and are madly in it? This type of constant doublespeak blanches the emotions of anyone who really believes and enjoys the lies; and with the Destiny's Child plague selling over 40 million albums collectively, this qualifies as pandemic.

If you are human, the tones and harmonies of this hour long Pepsi ad will sound pleasing to you, but you have to be inhuman to consciously support the false idol, negative body image factory that produced this. Sure the three stooges, Kelly, Michelle, who sound more like Macy Gray every day, and money bags Beyoncé, are all nice singers, but about 30% of the planet has a nice voice and not all of us can afford to be raised on singing lessons, which makes it more honest. There's nothing about the music here you haven't heard recycled by every other pop act in the top 40; so if you are going to buy this, at least get a karaoke version. There's nothing about this product that isn't replaceable; you might as well improve your voice while rotting your mind. But please be yourself and don't automatically follow the masses like the good sheep the RIAA assumes you are, and think about what you're listening to. "Your heart is so big/ You buy anything Kelly be wantin'/ You're just God sent" ("Game Over"). I rest my case... and yet, after listening to the whole CD a few times, I feel a lot dumber and happier like part of my brain is missing. That's success the DC way!

1. Lose My Breath
2. Soldier feat. T.I. & Lil' Wayne
3. Cater 2 U
4. T-Shirt
5. Is She The Reason
6. Girl
7. Bad Habit
8. If
9. Free
10. Through With Love
11. Love
12. Game Over