A List

Version 6.1 (31 March 04)

Next update in mid-February. My Year From Hell should be over by then.

The following may or may not be true, and is based on hearsay, rumor, and gossip--most of it from relatively reliable sources, some from more dubious ones, and some based on my own suppositions. I have tried to make this list as accurate as possible, but in some/many cases I wasn't able to verify rumors. I have not put anything here that I know to be untrue. If you want, send me e-mail. Please don't be offended if I don't respond to you quickly, or at all. I average around 90-100 e-mails a day.

Proceed at your own risk. Believe what you want & reject the rest. If my political opinions upset you, stop reading and read something else. If you don't like reading "scurrilous gossip," stop reading and read something else.

FOD means "Friend of Dorothy," a.k.a. a gay man.
L______ stands for lesbian.
B______ stands for bisexual.
A "beard" is a woman who dates or marries a gay or bisexual man so that the man can pretend to be heterosexual.
A "merkin" is a man who dates or marries a gay or bisexual woman so that the woman can pretend to be heterosexual.

Recent updates, additions and corrections since Version 5.4 are in blue.

With thanks to the folks on alt.gossip.celebrities, K-Y Mellie, and Jill "The Diva" Stempel, from whose page I took some of the information included below. Thanks to Richard Corliss (in Time) and Richard Johnson (in the Post) for mentioning the site in their columns. Thanks to John Lithgow for mentioning the site on Conan O'Brian's show; to reward him I made up something about him for his entry. Thanks to Maxim magazine for rewarding my efforts with a Site of the Week award. Thanks to the Star for the interview. A shout out to Sludge for the link and the kind words. Thanks to Gossiplist.com. Thanks to Anythink. Thanks to InfectedLogic. Thanks to Bitterwaitress. Thanks to 411mania. Thanks to all the radio shows that pimp the site. Thanks to Ms. Eng for the short note. Thanks to you-know-who on the Jim Rome show for the information. Thanks to that Variety writer for accurately describing this site as "a mean-spirited, rumor-mongering, tawdry list of distilled re-hashed gossip and sexual innuendo." And, finally, thanks to all the fans and industry professionals (and the occasional celebrity) who've e-mailed me; this site wouldn't be the same without you.


Aaliyah. Was acquainted with many men as well as Quincy Jones' daughter. Had a threesome with Stacy Dash. Linked with/married R. Kelly when she was only 15.

Aames, Willie. Recovering drug abuser. Currently a tedious born-again Christian.

Abdul, Paula. "Very nice girl, has a very wicked sense of humor." (And yet there are persistent rumors of bad behavior by her behind the scenes of American Idol). Reportedly a recovering bulimic. Linked with Lorraine Braco, Emilio Estevez, Arsenio Hall (surely a vibrator would be better than that?), Janet Jackson, and John Stamos.

Adams, Bryan. "A clean freak." Prefers the company of gentlemen. Linked with Princess Di and Todd Oldham.

Adams, Joey Lauren. Arrested on D.U.I. Self-admitted bisexual. Linked with Vince Vaughn.

Adams, Maud. Bisexual. Linked to Bruce Dern & OJ Simpson. Reportedly took Dern to court for claiming to have penetrated her while filming a simulated sex scene during the movie Tattoo.

Adjani, Isabelle. Formerly with Warren Beatty, Jean-Michel Jarre, and Daniel Day Lewis.

Affleck, Ben. Rude and a boor. "Boring." May possibly be more than just friends with Matt Damon and perhaps other men over the years. Has a filthy mouth. Tranny chaser. Recovering alcoholic. Has used hookers in the past; likes threeways with hookers and Matt Damon. One account has the two looking at each other (and getting off on that) while doing the pro. Has had work done on his teeth, hair, and chin. Linked with Pamela Anderson, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Garner, Salma Hayek, Lauren Holly, Famke Jannsen, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney Spears (who he cheated on Jennifer Lopez with, while Spears was seeing Justin Timberlake).

Agassi, Andre. Humorless, vain airhead. Possibly closeted. Linked with Steffi Graf, Brooke Shields (his ex-wife), and Babs Streisand.

Aguilera, Christina. "Rude, crude, selfish and disrespectful." "All around mean rotten little bitch." (Though I've heard at least one story of her being nice when she didn't have to be). I've gotten several e-mails in the past several months about her treating waiters and waitresses very badly, to the point of not leaving tips and even not paying the check. But I've also been told that part of her bad actions toward others is the result of her paranoid bodyguards. Stuck-up snot. Prefers women and three-ways; possibly prefers watching women and three-ways to partaking of them. Plays "hostess" to "lavish orgies." Cocaine addict. Has breast implants. Bad tipper. Keeps her weight down thanks to the over-use of laxatives. (Which matches the feces coming out of her mouth). Hygiencially challenged; I've received two different e-mails from staff at two different hotels both saying that she never used the showers, soap, or shampoo in her room.Linked with Carson Daly (Christina, is this the best you can do?), Leonardo DiCaprio (boy, did that pairing turn the Skank Switch up to 11), Enrique Igelsias, Alicia Keys, Lil' Kim, Madonna, and Justin Timberlake.

Aiken, Clay. Subject of wildly differing rumors, ala "Very nice" and "What a creep!"

Aikman, Troy. FOD. Or perhaps not. Reports differ.

Alba, Jessica. "Snobbiest little thing I've ever seen." Linked to Mark Wahlberg.

Albert, Prince, of Monaco. FOD? Linked with Angie Everhart, Kylie Minogue, Brooke Shields, Claudia Schiffer, Sharon Stone, and Teri Weigel.

Alda, Alan. "Was very arrogant from his success with MASH but has calmed down since."

Alexakis, Art. "VERY very nice guy." (Though this is disputed, with several groupies claiming they've slept with him & he treated them badly).

Al Fayed, Dodi. Linked to Princess Diana, Darryl Hannah, Princess Stephanie of Monaco, Winona Ryder, and Brooke Shields. Died in the same car crash that snuffed Di.

Alger, Horatio. Pederast. (This is an established historical fact, not mere gossip.)

Ali, Muhammed. Cheated on his wife. "An uncaring, self-centered dad."

Allen, Joan. Former coke dealer and user before hitting Hollywood and making it big. Has been clean for a number of years now and is well-respected and generally seen as being a very nice woman.

Allen, Tim. Possessed of “self-destructive” and “womanizing ways.” Former coke dealer.

Allen, Woody. Neurotic pedophile who took up with his wife's adopted daughter and betrayed the esteem millions held him in; still literally cannot understand what the problem is. Linked with Diane Keaton & Mia Farrow; had affair with teenager during filming of Manhattan.

Alley, Kirstie. Divorced from Parker Stevenson. $cientologist. Given to boasting publicly about her partners' sexual skill. Recovering drug addict. Has a torture chamber in her house. Turned tricks as a teenager. Linked with James Wilder.

Allman, Gregg. Recovering drug addict. Linked with Cher. Reportedly introduced porn star Savannah to the biz when she was only 16.

Almodovar, Pedro. Gay.

Amos, Tori. Rape victim. Record industry brat whose first attempt at a metal album was so laughably bad it was suppressed. Employed casting couch to get the chance to make the follow-up album. In fairness, I've received numerous e-mails from people, fans and those who worked with and for her, about how kind and nice and sweet she was to them. Recovering addict.

Anderson, Gillian. Divorced. Single mom; daughter reportedly fathered by David Duchovny. May have a drinking/drug problem. Rumored to be bisexual. Hot-tempered. Linked with David Duchovny, Melissa Etheridge, Jodie Foster, Gina Gershon, and Helen Hunt.

Anderson, Laurie. Linked to Lou Reed.

Anderson, Loni. Failed marriage to and bitter divorce with Burt Reynolds; held her adopted son hostage in the divorce. Bi_____; linked with Carol Burnett.

Anderson, Louie. Gay.

Anderson, Pamela. Ex-wife of Tommy Lee and broke up with him again after taking him back; maybe she is learning, after all. Has breast implants. Videotaped sex with her husband; tape was then stolen from them and widely sold. Continues to be surprised that no one takes her seriously; lied, stupidly, about Tommy Lee giving her Hepatitis C when the truth, that it was Kid Rock who gave it to her, was so easily discovered. Formerly with Ben Affleck, Scott Baio, Dean Cain, John Cusack, Kid Rock, Lil Kim, Pink, Marcus Schenkenberg & Sylvester Stallone.

Anderson, Paul Thomas. "Coke head. Not very loyal to friends." Linked with Fiona Apple.

Anderson, Richard Dean. Closeted FOD or bisexual. Linked with Justine Bateman, Lara Flynn Boyle, Teri Hatcher, Marlee Matlin, Sela Ward, and Katarina Witt.

Andress, Ursula. Formerly married to John Derek, which means she's suffered enough. Linked with Mikhail Baryshnikov, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, James Dean, John DeLorean, Harry Hamlin, Dennis Hopper, Marcello Mastroianni, Ryan O'Neal, Elvis Presley,and Peter O'Toole.

Andrews, Julie. Reportedly closeted L____, in long-term relationship with Carol Burnett (or, according to e-mailers, they're just longtime friends-with-benefits). Married to Blake Edwards.

Aniston, Jennifer. Has become a big pothead through her relationship with Brad Pitt. Has jealousy issues; "can be a real bitch if you're not in her 'circle.'"Used her pull with NBC to force them to rehire her father when he was let go from Days Of Our Lives. Good tipper. Linked with Adam Duritz, Tate Donovan, Paul Rudd, and Brad Pitt.

Ann-Margret. Linked with Johnny Carson, Eddie Fisher, Steve McQueen, and Elvis Presley.

Anselmo, Philip (of Pantera/Down/Superjoint). Recovering heroin addict.

Apple, Fiona. Humorless, self-important brat. Holding on to reality with only a couple of fingers. Linked with Paul Thomas Anderson and David Blaine.

Arbuckle, Fatty. Slut. Unfairly convicted in the public of killing a younger actress via Coke bottle rape; poor Fatty was innocent, but the world was convinced otherwise.

Archer, Anne. $cientologist.

Arden, Eve. L______ or Bi______.

Armstrong, Lance. Bisexual. Linked with Sandra Bullock.

Armstrong, Louie. Major pothead. Had an almost religious zeal for high colonics.

Arnaz, Desi. Philandering SOB, but Lucille Ball loved him, so I shouldn't say any more. (And he did protect her in front of HUAC). Alcoholic. Married to Lucille Ball; linked with Ginger Rogers, Cesar Romero, and Lana Turner.

Arnold, Tom. Failed marriage to Roseanne Barr; bitter divorce from her. Large drug user & dealer. Has hair implants. Treats his assistants badly. Former tabloid snitch.

Arquette, David. Annoying freak. Recovering drug user. Crossdresser. Linked with Ellen Barkin, Courtney Cox, and Charlize Theron, among others.

Arquette, Patricia. Linked with Nicholas Cage, Tom Cruise, Thomas Jane, and Christian Slater.

Arquette, Roseanna. Very sullen and rude to fans.

Arthur, Jean. Bisexual.

Asimov, Isaac. Groped women.

Astaire, Fred. Difficult to work with. Linked with Ginger Rogers.

Atherton, William. "Nice guy, good conversationalist."

Atkinson, Rowan. "Clinically depressed."

Avalon, Frankie. "Very friendly and nice to his fans." Although I've also heard that he's very full of himself and acts unpleasantly to salespeople.

Aykroyd, Dan. Very charming in person, or so I'm told. Has a taste for loose women in bars. (But then, who among us does not?). Has a reputation in New Orleans for enjoying the company of rented women and for not tipping them very well. Linked to Donna Dixon (marriage) and Penny Marshall.

Azaria, Hank. Linked with (failed marriage to) and merkin for Helen Hunt. Linked with Matthew Perry. (No, really!)

Bacall, Lauren. Bailed on supporting victims of McCarthy because "they were Communists." Very stingy. Married to Humphrey Bogart; linked with Kirk Douglas, James Garner, Harry Guardino, Burgess Meredith, Jason Robards (by marriage), Frank Sinatra, and Emmanuel Ungaro.

Bacon, Kevin. "Everyone loves them.  (Bacon & wife) They're very sweet, friendly and genuine.  They were reported to act very warm toward each other, and always left big tips."

Baez, Joan. Bisexual, although she now denies any former same-sex relationships despite having written about one in her second book. Formerly with Bob Dylan.

Baio, Scott. Closeted bisexual. Rumors of his having forced himself on women. Former regular at the Playboy Mansion. Former unrestrained relationship with Erin Moran; also linked with Pamela Anderson, Nicole Eggert, Heather Locklear, and Denise Richards. Jodie Foster claims to have made out heavily with him, as well.

Bairstow, Scott. Charged with having sex with a 12-year-old. Linked with Jennifer Love Hewitt when she was way too young.

Baldwin, Alec. The bloviator. Arrogant SOB. Punches out photographers. Acts like spoiled infant on-set. Left Janine Turner almost literally at the altar. Drug problem. Linked with Kim Basinger (failed marriage; among other things, he hit her), Kristin Davis, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cheri Oteri, and Tatum O'Neal.

Baldwin, Daniel. Cokehead. Slut.

Baldwin, Stephen. So enamored of himself he probably masturbates while holding up his own facial shot.

Ball, Lucille. Long-suffering wife of Desi Arnaz; smart, smart woman and a great comedienne. Alcoholic, and not a good mother to her children. Rumored to have been a member of the Communist Party. Was stingy and mean in her old age. Linked with Milton Berle, Henry Fonda, Peter Lawford, Robert Mitchum, George Raft, George Sanders, and Orson Welles.

Banderas, Antonio. Left his wife for Melanie Griffith. Not the brightest bulb in the lamp, but a very nice guy. Linked with Angelina Jolie.

Bankhead, Tallulah. Omnisexual, and enjoyed it. Hilarious raconteur & source of many great stories. Drug user. All About Eve was reportedly about her. Linked with John Barrymore, Sr., Robert Benchley, Leonard Bernstein, Humphrey Bogart, Marlon Brando, Yul Brynner, Winston Churchill (!), Gary Cooper, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Greta Garbo, Billie Holliday, Libby Holman, Beatrice Lillie, Chico Marx, Hattie McDaniel, Burgess Meredith, Edward R. Murrow, and Johnny Weissmuller.

Banks, Tyra. Breast implants. Difficult to work with. Linked with Michael Johnson, Seal, John Singleton, Chris Webber, and Tiger Woods.

Baraka, Amiri. Anti-Semite, and doesn't seem to like much anybody except those of African descent.

Barbiere, Jillian. Apparently a real playa. Very uninhibited, or so the rumors go.

Bardot, Brigitte. Animal rights activist. Racist; supports right-wing French party Le Front National. Linked with Warren Beatty, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, Alain Delon, Serge Gainsbourg, Jimi Hendrix, Mick Jagger, Louis Malle, Marilyn Monroe (be still, my heart!) and Roger Vadim.

Barker, Clive. Out and open about it. "He and his partner are great people." "Always incredibly nice to anyone who recognized him. Totally wonderful."

Barkin, Ellen. "Good with her fans." Formerly married to Gabriel Byrne. Linked with David Arquette (...the hell?), Matt Dillon, Val Kilmer, and Ron Perelman.

Barrymore, Drew. "Soooo fun and sweet and adorable." Enjoys playing both sides of the field; openly admits to being B______. Flashed Dave Letterman on camera. Had messy breakup with her domineering mother. Didn't make it through high school. Hygienically challenged. Recovering drug & alcohol addict and perhaps not so recovering at that. Linked with Jeremy Davies, Heather Graham, Tom Green, Val Kilmer, Courtney Love (who she shared men with, according to Drew), Jack Nicholson (when she was 13 or 14), Chris O'Donnell, Sam, Rockwell, Molly Shannon, and Luke Wilson.

Bartel, Paul. Out and doesn't care who knows it.

Baryshnikov, Mikhail. Uses his position to sexually exploit the dancers under him (so to speak). Linked with Leslie Brown, Jessica Lange, Liza Minnelli, Isabella Rossellini, and Janine Turner.

Basinger, Kim. "Has more neuroses than an inbred poodle." Acts like a spoiled infant on- and off-set. Jerk. Recovering cocaine and alcohol addict. Linked with Alec Baldwin (failed marriage), Jeff Bridges, Sean Connery, Eminem, Richard Gere, Michael Keaton, Prince, Robert Redford, Burt Reynolds, and Mickey Rourke.

Bass, Lance. Self-described "power bottom."

Bassett, Angela. Has had at least one affair with a woman (oh, be still my heart and loins!). Isn't as nice as she seems. Linked by marriage with Courtney B. Vance (good taste in men, Angela).

Bateman, Justine. Linked with Richard Dean Anderson and Leif Garrett.

Bates, Kathy. L______.

Battle, Kathleen. Capable of great kindness and great cruelty and selfishness.

Bearse, Amanda. L______.

Beatty, Warren. Slut supreme; the only woman he hasn't slept with is me (and, okay, Shirley Maclaine). Currently married to Annette Benning (though rumors are that he's not faithful to her, either). Also reportedly humorless, homophobic, blatant sexual harasser, and unpleasant--and, BION, not good in bed, according to H-wood prostitutes and Madonna (although Joan Collins says otherwise about this). Difficult to work with. Linked with (deepbreath) Isabelle Adjani, Brigitte Bardot, Candice Bergen, Halle Berry, Sonia Braga, Judy Carne, Cher, Julie Christie, Joan Collins, Janice Dickinson, Britt Ekland, Jane Fonda, Melanie Griffith, Goldie Hawn, Bianca Jagger, Diane Keaton, Madonna, Vivian Leigh, Jackie Onassis, Michelle Phillips, Diana Ross, Diane Sawyer, Stephanie Seymour, Carly Simon, Barbara Streisand, Liv Ullman, Mamie Van Doren, Tennessee Williams, and Natalie Wood (along with a cast of thousands).

Beck. $cientologist (this is disputed).Very well hung. Linked with Gina Gershon and Winona Ryder.

Beckham, David. Philanderer and possible FOD. Married to Posh Spice.

Beckinsale, Kate. Has a penchant for setside squabbling. "Cold fish. Tremendous amount of plastic surgery. Hates other women."

Belafonte, Harry. FOD. Rumored to have married Farley Granger on Fire Island during the 1950s.

Bell, Catherine. Playa. $cientologist.

Belmondo, Jean-Paul. Linked with Ursula Andress & Brigitte Bardot.

Bening, Annette. Married to Warren Beatty; she got pregnant by him and then refused to get an abortion.

Bergen, Candice. Closeted L______ Widow of the late Louis Malle; she provided beard services for him. Linked with Warren Beatty, Jerry Brown, Robert F. Kennedy, Henry Kissinger (oh, Candice, how could you?), Jack Nicholson, Burt Reynolds, and Terence Stamp.

Bergin, Michael. FOD. Bathhouse habitue'.

Bergman, Ingrid. Linked with Yul Brynner, Gary Cooper, Bing Crosby, Burgess Meredith, Gregory Peck, Anthony Quinn, Omar Sharif, Spencer Tracy. Shocked Hollywood and America by going to Europe and having a child out of wedlock. Mother of Isabella Rosselini. One of the 10 Most Beautiful Women Ever.

Berkley, Elizabeth. Formerly with Paul Verhoeven.

Berle, Milton. Sour, unpleasant man. (And in the interests of fairness: "He was wonderful.  He suffered from a constant need for attention, but he was funny, charming, and he was like a manic attention-starved child.  I liked him very much.") Notorious for stealing other comedians' jokes/gags. Legendary implement. Bad father. Swapped women (and possibly drag queens) with Bing Crosby. Once "dated" Marilyn Monroe; also linked with Lucille Ball, Theda Bara, Veronica Lake, Aimee Semple Macpherson, and Nancy Reagan.

Bernard, Crystal. "Hypocritical Christian who engages in lesbian affairs and then quickly retreats to religion and her boyfriend and pretends to be Miss Moral." Linked with Morgan Fairchild.

Bernhard, Sandra. L____/bisexual. Had affair with Madonna; also possibly linked with Timothy Hutton, Jay Leno (oh, Sandra, how could you?), Debi Mazur and/or Jennifer Grey.

Bernsen, Corbin. Philanderer. Vain. Linked with Amanda Pays and Vanna White.

Bernstein, Leonard. Bisexual; had a preference for teenaged African-Americans. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead, Rudolf Nureyev, and Lana Turner.

Berry, Chuck. Voyeur and likes playing with poo as well as watching women urinate and defecate.

Berry, Halle. Formerly married to wife-beater David Justice, and formerly abused by one of her men. "Temperamental" (read: difficult to work with). Formerly a very pricey kept woman. Tried to commit suicide after learning that her husband had cheated on her. Is now so paranoid about her lackwit husband cheating on her (cheating on Halle Berry? What are you, high?) (But then, as has been noted, behind every beautiful woman is a man [or woman] who's bored with her) that she's removed all women from his life, down to dismissing his female assistants and dining out only at gay bars. Linked to Prince Albert of Monaco, Warren Beatty, Kevin Costner, Spike Lee, Eddie Murphy, and Wesley Snipes.

Bertinelli, Valerie. Difficult to work with. Linked with Eddie Van Halen (as well as most men within her general vicinity).

Bextor, Sophie Ellis. A regular at a certain French sex club.

Beyonce. "An excellent tipper." Linked with Kobe Bryant, Eminem, 50 Cent, Mekhi Phifer, Shemar Mor, Mos Def, Nelly, and Jay-Z.

B-52s. "Went out of their way to be friendly to fans."

Bisset, Jacqueline. Has some brains behind her beauty. Linked with Alexander Godunov, Dean Martin, Marcello Mastroianni, Steve McQueen, Ryan O'Neal, Frank Sinatra, and Terence Stamp.

Black, Clint. "Prefers uncut men. He likes playing with the skin and loves to give, not receive." Linked with Lisa Hartman.

Black, Jack. "Incredibly nice."

Black, Karen. $cientologist.

The Black Crowes. "All very very stupid, didn't seem to understand anything unless their manager told them."

Blackwell, Mr. Bitch Supreme (I mean that in a good way). FOD. Linked with Cary Grant, Tyrone Power, and Randolph Scott.

Blair, Selma. Bad temper.

Blanchett, Cate. "A complete sweetheart and a high tipper."

Bleeth, Yasmine. Hygienically challenged. Recovering drug addict; introduced to blow by Don Johnson, Yasmine has ruined her face and nose through its overuse. Linked with Richard Grieco, Don Johnson, and Matthew Perry.

Bloom, Orlando. A yummy monkey, indeed. ("Dirty flirt.") "Kinda immature, a bit of a brat but still nice." Linked with Kate Bosworth, Helena Christensen, and Susanna Eng; I've gotten a lot of e-mail that Bloom is mostly bisexual, if not gay, and that his "affairs" with Bosworth and Eng are just PR.

Bloomberg, Mayor. Into being dominated. Admits to pot use. Bi______.

Bogarde, Dirk. FOD. Linked with Judy Garland.

Bogart, Humphrey. Cheated on his wife; beat his second wife. Anti-semite and drunkard. Ran errands for Howard Hughes after Hughes got proof of Bogart's philandering. Procured young men for a gay friend of his. Terrible alcoholic; had to get hormone shots to impregnate his wife. Affairs with Lauren Bacall, Tallulah Bankhead, Louise Brooks, Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck, and quite possibly Truman Capote.

Bolton, Michael. Vain. Deserves a sound thrashing. (Although I'm told that he's "meek and humble" to hotel staff). Covered the Isley Brothers but would only give them credit after they sued him. Ruined a Percy Sledge song and didn't even thank Percy when he (Bolton) won a Grammy for the son. Linked with Ashley Judd & Nicollette Sheridan.

Bonaduce, Danny. Drug user. Beat up a transvestite hooker. General impression he projects is of a jerk--at least, that's my take on him.

Bonet, Lisa. Difficult to work with. Linked with Lenny Kravitz (formerly married to him).

Bono. Egomaniac.

Bow, Clara. Enjoyed men--many and often. Infamous in Hollywood for her enthusiasm and endurance. Linked with Eddie Cantor, Gary Cooper, John Gilbert, and Bela Lugosi.

Bowie, David. "Goes out of his way to be nice to his fans." Huge drug abuser. Married to Iman. Openly bisexual & supposedly linked at one time with Mick Jagger; also linked with Bianca Jagger and Marianne Faithfull.

Boyer, Charles. Committed suicide following the death of his wife. Linked with Katharine Hepburn and Hedley Lamarr.

Boyle, Lara Flynn. Good old girl. Possible coke habit, which might explain why she's so unhealthily gaunt. Linked with Richard Dean Anderson, Adam Duritz, Harrison Ford, Kyle Maclachlan, Jack Nicholson (EW!), David Spade, and Bruce Willis.

Boyle, Peter. "Sweet and gracious to all, especially considering how Doris Roberts rubs her Emmys in everyone's face."

Bracco, Lorraine. Bi______. Linked with Harvey Keitel & Edward James Olmos via failed marriages and Paula Abdul.

Branagh, Kenneth. "Early in his career was ambitio-sexual--would sleep with anyone to advance his career." Cute but conceited. Possibly yet another Great Gay British Actor. Couldn't handle his then-wife's success and pouted, causing Emma Thompson to divorce him. Linked with Helena Bonham Carter and Alicia Silverstone.

Brando, Marlon. Alien/freak. Admitted bisexual. Not a good father to his children; reportedly molested his daughter who committed suicide. Glutton. A slut, in his time. Difficult to work with. Linked with Ursula Andress, Tallulah Bankhead, Brigitte Bardot, Joan Collins, Wally Cox, Faye Dunaway, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Moreno, Jackie O, and Shelley Winters.

Brandy. Diva-in-training. "Controlled by her ignorant, crazy stagemother Sonia. Problem with diet pills. O.D. on at least one occasion. Difficult to work with is an understatement. Hygenically challenged--girl, wash your cooch! Multiple hidden tattoos. Secret Husband couldn't take any more of this little bitch and left her ass after a year. You also have to "hire" her brother Ray J and father to work on a project with her...everyone hates her." Linked with Tyrese.

Braugher, Andre. *Dreamy*. "Very smart, very sophisticated, just naturally commands respect and attention just by being there; very nice, friendly, appreciative of everyone and, unlike many Hollywood types, when he signs an autograph for you, he will look you right in the eyes and have a full on conversation with you until you have had enough and leave him.  Doesn't talk about himself a lot either unless you ask, then he won't focus on himself very long and then shifts the topic to something else.  In a group setting, he doesn't say much and when he does, its not about himself usually."

Brenner, David. Flight attendants maintain that he is the "meanest celebrity of them all."

Brett, George. Bi______.

Brewster, Jordana. Very easy to work with (though this may have changed recently), very friendly. Linked with Derek Jeter and Mark Wahlberg.

Bridges, Jeff. Former heavy drug user (and possibly not-so-recovering alcoholic). Linked to Kim Basinger, Valerie Perrine and Cybill Shepherd.

Bridges, Todd. Long string of drug busts.

Broderick, Matthew. Reportedly a nice guy. Killed a mother and daughter in a traffic accident in Ireland, and is reportedly still contrite over it. Is destined for Hell because of Ferris Bueller. Married to Sarah Jessica Parker (though I've received reports from waitresses about his flirting with them and about his bringing women who aren't his wife into restaurants) (I've also received reports from waiters of his flirting with them, so you be the judge). Linked with Jennifer Grey, Helen Hunt, Nathan Lane and Penelope Ann Miller.

Brody, Adrian. Has not been acting very nicely around fans recently.

Brolin, Josh. Linked with Minnie Driver and Diane Lane.

Brooks, Garth. "Ridiculously nice tipper."

Brooks, Louise. Former call girl. Razor-sharp as well as beautiful. Heh--this is funny. Supposedly was a dominatrix for Kodak executives in Rochester, NY in the 1960s. (That's giving me some nice, juicy images). Linked with Humphrey Bogart, Charlie Chaplin, Greta Garbo, and William S. Paley.

Brooks, Mel. Possibly B_______. Linked with Anne Bancroft.

Brosnan, Pierce. Homophobe. Stoner. Bad tipper.

Brown, Bobby. All-around asshole. Married to and merkin for Whitney Houston. Linked with Madonna. Wife-beater and generally abusive towards women. Slut, alcoholic and drug addict. Most likely riddled with every sexually-transmitted disease so far discovered. Unpleasant personality. Some of the worst humanity has to offer.

Brown, Foxxy. "Blew her way to a contract."

Brown, James. "Drug of choice is PCP."

Brown, Jerry. Fruitloop. Linked with Candice Bergen, Stevie Nicks, Linda Ronstadt, Liv Ullman, and Natalie Wood.

Brown, Jim. Physical abuser of women; has a problem with anger and violence.

Brown, Downtown Julie. Multiple plastic surgeries. Was a prostitute when she first came to NYC.

Brown, Julie. Bi______. Linked with Penn (of Penn and Teller).

Browne, Jackson. Talentless, conceited hack ("an overrated whiner") and abuser of women. Beat Darryl Hannah while he was involved with her.

Bryant, Kobe. Only married his girlfriend when her parents threatened to have him arrested for statutory rape. Will only have sex with white/Latin women. Fired an assistant when she wouldn't sleep with him. Charged with rape, and admitted to cheating on his wife. Linked with Beyonce (who he described as boring in bed--classy, Kobe, very classy).

Brynner, Yul. Conceited. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead, Ingrid Bergman, Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland, Gina Lollabrigida, Marilyn Monroe, Nancy Davis Reagan, and Tracy Scoggins.

Buckley, William F. Being the erudite linguist he is, he intimately knows many synonyms for "closet."

Bujold, Genevieve. Difficult to work with. Linked with Elliot Gould.

Bullock, Jim J. Recovering crystal meth user. FOD; HIV+.

Bullock, Sandra. Reportedly a very nice person, although she was very rude to a group of NYC firefighters (and now I'm hearing stories about her being rude to other people as well) (although, perhaps predictably, I'm also hearing stories that she was nice to fans). Hot tempered. Does not use deodorant. Linked with Ben Affleck, Lance Armstrong, Ryan Gosling, Hugh Grant (who she supposedly stalked while they filmed that "comedy" together) (honestly, is Hugh Grant worth the effort? Couldn't you find men like him anywhere?), Matthew McConaughey, Chris O'Donnell, Jason Patric, and with Dweezil Zappa.

Buono, Victor. FOD.

Burghoff, Gary. Has a mangled hand. Very personable in, er, person.

Burke, Billie. (aka Glinda, the Good Witch) L______.

Burke, Delta. Difficult to work with, although there's at least one of her coworkers who says otherwise.

Burnett, Carol. Reportedly a Closet L______. So adorable most men would marry her anyway. Reported long-term relationship (possibly just friends-with-benefits) with Julie Andrews. Also linked with Loni Anderson.

Burns, Ed. Linked with Heather Graham, Lauren Holly, Winona Ryder, and Christy Turlington.

Burr, Raymond. Closet case. Liked Fijian boys. (That's a rather specialized taste, isn't it?) Linked with Richard Chamberlain & Tuesday Weld.

Burrows, Saffron. Self-admitted bisexual.

Burstyn, Ellen. "Extremely gracious and kind to fans."

Burton, Richard. Drunkard. Closet case. Abused women, and had an "affair" with a 14-year-old girl. Funneled money to IRA. Two marriages to Elizabeth Taylor. Tried but failed to seduce Eddie Fisher. Also linked with Zsa Zsa Gabor, Ava Gardner, Jean Simmons, Susan Strasburgh, Barbra Streisand, Lana Turner and Raquel Welch.

Busey, Gary. Drug user. Wife-beater. Has found Jesus and now supposedly lives a boring, party-free life, although rumors are that this is a sham. Linked with Babs Streisand.

Bush, Barbara. Married to George Bush. Reportedly nice in her dotage but vicious to social outsiders as a college girl.

Bush, George. "Glad-handing sack of shit." Prissy and sanctimonious hypocrite. Had long-time affair while married to Barbara Bush; hired his mistress as State Dept spokeswoman. Also reported to have enjoyed the favors of "party girls."

Bush, George W. Recovering drunkard (and probably a dry drunk) and cokehead. Not the brightest bulb in the lamp, and in fact couldn’t spell cat if you gave him the “c” and the “a.” The best argument against participatory democracy I know. Hypocritical moralist; Bill Clinton without the brains. Funded a girlfriend's abortion. At odds with his wife over how to treat his daughters' alcoholism. Believes (according to his own words) that only "believers in Jesus" will go to Heaven. Given his performance since being elected, it's now clear that the man is either a pathological liar or holds the American public in such contempt that he doesn't even bother to make his lies credible.

Bush, Kate. "The most stoned woman in Britain." Alcoholic. Holds a number of, shall we say, "off-beat" religious & philosophical ideas. But, "is more down to earth in person than one would think. Very charming and personable. Likes to bake cakes. Linked with Peter Gabriel & David Gilmour.

Bush, Laura. Was involved in an auto fatality when she was 17.

Butler, Brett. Escaped from a horrible marriage to a wife-beater. Recovering alcoholic. Got breast implants, and has a penchant for exposing her new teats to anyone--particularly cute young (young) men. Unpleasant to her cast and crew.

Butler, Dan. Open about his preferences.

Byrne, Gabriel. "Very nice to his fans." Formerly with Ellen Barkin, Naomi Campbell, Madonna, and Julia Ormond.

Caan, James. Abuser of women. Alcoholic & cocaine user. Patron of Heidi Fleiss.

Cage, Nicholas. Long-time heroin user. Didn't make it through high school. Attacks paparazzi. Has at least dabbled in (and with, and on) men. "Was such an asshole on the set of Wind Talkers, that the crew referred to him as "Nick The Dick" behind his back." Reported to have a large snuff film collection, which is what broke up his marriage to Patricia Arquette. Doesn't tip (shame on you!). Formerly with Patricia Arquette (ex-wife), Laura Dern, Angelina Jolie, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lisa Marie Presley, and Uma Thurman.

Cagney, James. Possibly had a few same-sex affairs. Linked with Merle Oberon.

Cain, Dean. Vain pretty boy. (Very pretty.) Reportedly easy to work with. Might be playing for the home team. Deflowered Brooke Shields. Formerly with Pamela Anderson, Teri Hatcher, Nastassja Kinski, Mindy McCreedy, Gabrielle Reece (who he treated badly--or possibly it was the other way around), and Samantha Torres.

Caine, Michael. Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Faye Dunaway & Bianca Jagger.

Cameron, James. Conceited putz. "Into being dominated in bed" (now there's a visual none of us needed). Cheated on Linda Hamilton with Suzy Amis. Linked with Kathryn Bigelow and Gail Ann Hurd.

Campbell, Naomi. Unpleasant woman. Drug addict; has been hospitalized for overdoses at least once. Poster child for Assholes Of America (Models Division). Dim bulb. Is physically violent toward her staff. Linked to Eric Clapton, Adam Clayton, Robert De Niro, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Fiennes, Quincy Jones, Val Kilmer, Lenny Kravitz, Tommy Lee, Eddie Murphy, Sean Penn, Sly Stallone, and Mike Tyson.

Campbell, Neve. Has acquired a reputation for using her co-stars as stepping stones to better roles, and giving her body in exchange (in fairness, I've heard that this isn't so) . Rumored to be Bi______. Linked with John Cusack, Matthew Lillard, and Matthew Perry (although I should add that this latter rumor I've since been told isn't true).

Cannon, Dyan. Has had a lot of plastic surgery. Formerly a massive pothead, now a born-again Pentecostalist. Linked with Armand Assante, Cary Grant and Omar Sharif. "Now claims to have chosen celibacy for spiritual purposes."

Capote, Truman. Gay (duh). Drunk. Rumored to have ghost-written To Kill A Mockingbird for Harper Lee. Linked with Humphrey Bogart (possibly), Errol Flynn, John Huston, and Tyrone Power.

Carey, Drew. Victim of sexual abuse when a child. Picks the wrong women to fall for, poor guy. Enjoys being humiliated in bed. "Super nice guy."

Carey, Mariah. A certain problem with faithfulness and hygiene. Her early career was funded by her sister's prostitution. Very difficult to work with, and very unpleasant to fans. (Although, as is par for the course here, I've received some e-mails contradicting this). "Has a staff member remove her tampons during concerts". Has breast implants. Linked to P. Diddy, Vin Diesel, Matt Dillon, Eminem, Grant Hill, Derek Jeter, and record company exec Tommy Mottola, who she used to get a record contract.

Carne, Judy. Bisexual. Recovering drug addict (according to a recent e-mail, "Judy's not recovering so well"). Linked with Warren Beatty, Steve McQueen, Burt Reynolds, Vidal Sassoon.

Carpenter, Mary Chapin. "Arrogant self-centered bitch."

Carrey, Jim. Unpleasant man, simultaneously rampantly insecure and hideously conceited. Extreme hypochondriac. Didn't make it through high school--and while in high school, according to one of my correspondents, "JC was incredibly mean to every student he could pick on (expecially when he was with a group of friends). Really mean, he'd pick on defenseless "losers" who had no hope of even excaping his cruelty. He would do this every chance he got." Has been known to act extremely childishly on-set, although there are some reports that one-on-one he's not bad. Has sexually harassed numerous actresses. Used LSD when he was a kid. Uses pot at regular intervals while writing; claims that he can't stay funny without regular ganja use.  Likes being spanked. Has, however, been known to give food away to the homeless, and I'm willing to forgive him much for Eternal Sunshine. Linked with Lauren Holly, Ashley Judd, Nicole Kidman, Courtney Love, Linda Ronstadt, and Renee Zellweger.

Carroll, Diahann. "Ranting raving alcoholic."

Carson, Johnny. Jury is still out on whether he is a manipulative, cold, creepy jerk, or simply a clueless and stupid innocent who was overly-well-protected by his handlers. Wife-beater. Hires working girls to sit on his lap and call him "Daddie." Denies the existence of his biracial granddaughter. Alcoholic. Linked with Ann-Margaret, Angie Dickinson, Morgan Fairchild, Sally Field, and Mamie Van Doren.

Carson, Lisa Nicole. Suffers from bipolar disorder; drug user. "Self-admitted nympho."

Carter, Helena Bonham. "Dresses like an old homeless woman and has the worst breath you've ever smelled." "Whines when male co-stars don't make passes at her." Home-wrecker (with the husbands' help, of course). Broke up Kenneth Branagh's marriage to Emma Thompson, broke up Tim Burton's marriage, and was also linked with Steve Martin.

Carter, Nick. Has a very bad drinking problem.

Carter, Lynda. Alcoholic. Bisexual during the 70s. "Left Hollywood to become a Washington power wife, but it all backfired on her when her husband was caught in a terrible political scandal involving influence-peddling.  Hubby lucked out and was not convicted, and now Lynda can once again hold her head high as she arrogantly berates service people and hired help throughout the DC metropolitan area."

Cartwright, Nancy. $cientologist.

Caruso, David. Egotistical. Difficult to work with.

Cates, Phoebe. "Perhaps the sweetest woman I have ever waited on." Linked with Kevin Kline.

Cather, Willa. L______.

Cattrall, Kim. Linked with Isaac Mizrahi & Bruce Willis.

Cavanagh, Tom. "Very gracious with fans."

Chamberlain, Richard. Now publicly admitting that he's gay. Linked with Raymond Burr.

Chan, Jackie.  Very private about his personal life, but has finally has provided some good gossip. Reportedly a very nice, down-to-earth man, although his marriage fell apart because he was never home and he did cheat on his wife. Reportedly linked with Maggie Cheung, Anita Mui, and Elaine Ng, who he fathered a child on.

Chancellor, John.  Boozebag. Possibly dabbled in Uranian relationships when younger.

Chandler, Jeff. Crossdresser.

Chaplin, Charlie. Had a taste for young women; was the inspiration for Humbert Humbert in Lolita. "Notoriously oversized." Linked with Louise Brooks, Marion Davies, Paulette Goddard, Hedy Lamarr, Pola Negri, and Lupe Velez.

Chapman, Graham. Gay. Alcohol & drug abuse.

Chapman, Tracy. L______.

Charles, Josh. Linked with Jennifer Connelly (who he did not treat well at all, and who was the cause of JC looking so glum at the Oscars that year) and Sheryl Crowe.

Charles, Ray. "If you wanted to be a Raylette, you had to let Ray." Huge pothead.

Chase, Chevy. Vain, humorless, unpleasant man. Recovering drunk.

Cheadle, Don. He's fine.

Cheever, John. FOD.

Cher. Unpleasant personality. More plastic surgery (including breast implants) than anyone (except Michael Jackson) thought the human body could withstand. Difficult to work with. "Extraordinarily uneducated and poorly informed of worldwide affairs." Penchant for younger men; linked with Gregg Allman, Warren Beatty, Sonny Bono, Tom Cruise, David Geffen, John Heard, Val Kilmer, Diana Ross, Richie Sambora, Gene Simmons, and Eric Stoltz.

Cherry, Neneh. L_____/bisexual.

Chevalier, Maurice. Closet case. Linked with Merle Oberon.

Chiklis, Michael. "Contrary to what you may have heard, is extremely friendly and personable; still genuinely surprised by his recent success; swears a lot; very magnetic in person too."

Chow Yun Fat. The Coolest Man Alive.

Christensen, Hayden. FOD.

Christensen, Helena. Linked with Jon Bon Jovi, Adam Clayton, Billy Corgan, Liam Gallagher, Michael Hutchence, Norm MacDonald, Dave Stewart, and Michael Stipe.

Christian, Claudia. L______/bisexual.

Christie, Julie. L____/bisexual. Linked with Warren Beatty, Brian Eno, Omar Sharif, Donald Sutherland, and Terence Stamp.

Christopher, William. "EXACTLY like his Father Mulcahy character on MASH. Exactly."

Church, Charlotte. Diva-in-training.

Churchill, Winston. Admitted to one same-sex affair. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead.

Chyna. Closeted lesbian.

Clapton, Eric. Hasn't had a happy life; recovering drug addict. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Sheryl Crow, Mick Jagger, Janis Joplin, and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Clark, Anthony. Racist, gay, bi-polar pothead (quite a combination, that).

Clark, Arthur C. Pedophile (hey, I don't believe it, either, but that's the rumor).

Clark, Dick. "Complete asshole. Full of self importance." "Nazi-like, micromanaging, whip-cracking production style made him detested by much of the glitterati who attend his awards shows."

Cleese, John. Is hard to work with, but he admits it. People who've waited on him, on the other hand, have found him to be "extremely nice and forgiving." Didn't get along with his mother, who didn't want any children and regretted Cleese's birth.

Clemens, Roger. Liar, bully, and soulless mercenary. Is clueless about how his neighbors in Katy, Texas really feel about him.

Clift, Montgomery. Called "Pink Princess Tiny Meat" due to his underendowment. Closet queen. Drunkard. Linked with James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor.

Clinton, Bill. Corrupt gladhanding weasel. (Likable in person.) Horn-dog; reportedly nailed Sharon Stone on election evening. Rumored to have slept with Markie Post and Babs Streisand (while Hillary was visiting her ailing father, no less!). Merkin for Hillary Clinton. Underendowed. Rapist. Reportedly very good at oral sex. Also linked with Elizabeth Gracen, Elizabeth Hurley, Chaka Khan (!), Heidi Klum, and Demi Moore.

Clinton, Hillary. Corrupt, manipulative power behind Bill Clinton.  L______/bisexual; reported to have slept with one/both of the Fosters and George Stephanopoulous.

Clooney, George. Reportedly a nice guy. Slut. Possibly swinging for both fences. Like lumberjacks, likes to try on women's clothes. May have a serious gambling problem. Linked with Lucy Liu, Ginger Lynn, Kelly Preston, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, Charlize Theron, and Renee Zellweger.

Close, Glenn. Reportedly "wanted some faded It boy of the 1960s as part of her contract for Sunset Boulevard." Linked with Woody Harrelson, William Hurt, Jeremy Irons, Kevin Kline, and Cam Neely.

Cohen, William S. Anti-Semite.

Colbert, Claudette. Bisexual. Linked with Gary Cooper, Marlene Dietrich, and Edith Head.

Cole, Natalie. Recovering heroin and cocaine addict; former Harlem streetwalker. Plays both sides of the fence.

Cole, Paula. Diva.

Coleman, Gary. Admitted virgin at age 30. Selling dates with himself over the Internet. Freak.

Collette, Toni. Is criminally underused by Hollywood. Recovering bulemic. Linked with Jonathan Rhys-Myers and Michael Stipe.

Collins, Joan. Doxy who is not aging well. Alcoholic. Reportedly was a hooker when she first arrived in Hollywood. Linked with, oh, just about everyone, including Warren Beatty, Harry Belafonte, Marlon Brando, Sydney (son of Charlie) Chaplin, Robert Evans, Dennis Hopper, Anthony Newley, Ryan O'Neal, Terence Stamp, and Robert Wagner.

Condit, Gary. Sleazy leather fetishist and all-around scumbag.

Connelly, Jennifer. Seems to get involved with her costars. Linked with Paul Bettany, Billy Campbell, Josh Charles, Russell Crowe.

Connery, Sean. Arrogant and self-satisfied sexist. Abuser of women. Wears a toupee. Notorious tightwad. Requires a penis pump to function with women. Hostile to fans. Posed nude before being Bond; the man who took the photos, George Lynnes, often had affairs with his subjects. Linked with Ursula Andress, Brigitte Bardot, Kim Basinger, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Gena Rowlands, Lana Turner, Shelley Winters, Lana Wood, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who impressed him with her oral skills.

Connick Jr, Harry. Punk, albeit a talented one. ("Extremely giving and appreciative of his fans," according to one e-mailer). Hung, and ought to be. (Yes, I know things are "hung" and people are "hanged"). Workers and security guards at his concerts are (or at least were) instructed not to look at him at any time before, during, or after one of his concerts.  Married to Jill Goodacre. Linked with Debra Messing.

Conrad, Robert. "A complete bottom, but his catholicism makes him completely whacky about it, and often he used to beat up the guys he had sex with. he enjoyed being spanked on that famous butt of his."

Cooper, Gary. Contrary to what I had previously written, Cooper was not an "unthinking conservative," and his work with HUAC was to let the committee know that Hollywood was not a nest of Communists. Cooper later offered to testify on behalf of Carl Foreman and was the only star to try to help Foreman after he was blacklisted. Linked with Mari Aldon, Jean Arthur, Tallulah Bankhead, Ingrid Bergman, Clara Bow, Lorraine Chanel, Claudette Colbert, Marlene Dietrich, Anita Ekberg, Paulette Goddard, Libby Holman, Grace Kelly, Carole Lombard, Sophia Loren, Patricia Neal, Merle Oberon, Barbra Stanwyck, Lupe Velez, Mae West, "and about a zillion Paramount secretaries from the mid Twenties until he left the studio in 1938."

Copperfield, David. Vain and preening jerk. Hair-fetishist. Linked with Claudia Schiffer, although reportedly she only goes out with him because he pays her a lot of money. Also rumored to have a huge collection of gay porn, and possibly be a FOD. Vile personal habits.

Coppola, Sofia. Married to Spike Jonze.

Corbett, John. "Likes pot, coke, booze and women (not necessarily in that order)." "Paranoid about losing his hair." Linked with Bo Derek.

Corgan, Billy. "Unpleasant, egomaniacal jerk; numerous enemies in the Chicago club scene, since he's always been the above." Beat his girlfriend in high school. Linked with Courtney Love (while Kurt Cobain was still alive).

Cornwell, Patricia. L______. Stalked/stalks Jodie Foster; seems to be quite unstable. While researching a book, got involved with an FBI agent; said agent's husband then tried to kill Cornwell. Has stolen at least one story idea & plot. Linked with Diane Sawyer.

Cosby, Bill. Rumored to touch children's private parts off the set of his shows. Several stories about him being rude to his fans. Rumors abound about his disliking white women. Unfaithful to his wife.

Costas, Bob. "Extremely rude and belligerent" to the security guards at the Olympic Games in Salt Lake City. Or so say some of the security guards themselves. Naturally, I've received e-mails from fans who've had more positive experiences with him.

Costner, Kevin. Humorless slut who overestimates the level of his own talent. Prone to interfering with production, direction, etc of his films. Cuckolded John Travolta and Cal Ripken, Jr; Ripken punched Costner out for that. Uses hookers. Linked with Halle Berry, Kathy Lee Gifford, Elle Macpherson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kelly Preston, and Mira Sorvino.

Couric, Katie. Reported to be not so perky and sweet in real life; in fact, rumor has it that she's a big phony and prima donna who treated her husband horribly while he was alive.

Coulter, Ann. Alcoholic and habitual liar; if she says 2+2=4, doublecheck her figures. "Smokes, drinks, whores around."

Cowher, Bill. Cheated on his wife with his secretary.

Cox, Courtney. Junkie. "Is the bitchiest of the three Friends girls." Linked with David Arquette, Adam Duritz, Michael Keaton, Conan O'Brien, Sean Penn, Richie Sambora (who she blames for starting her coke addiction), and Christian Slater.

Crane, Bob. Into S&M. Liked to pick up prostitutes and videotape his sex with them. Liked to hook up with actresses he was working with as well as bored housewives in places he was doing dinner theater. Bludgeoned to death by a shady businessman in a hotel room post-videotaping.

Crane, Hart. FOD.

Crawford, Cindy. Former wife/beard to Richard Gere. Closet L____. Hard to work with. Linked with/used as merkins Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, and Shaquille O'Neal.

Crawford, Joan. "Slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie." "She was a mean, tipsy, powerful, rotten-egg lady." "'There is not enough money in Hollywood to lure me into making another picture with Joan Crawford. And I like money." Vain and unpleasant personality. Horrible to her children. Broke into Hollywood by starring in porn films. Abused by her parents. Alcoholic. Clean freak. Reportedly killed her husband. Linked with Dorothy Azner, Jean-Pierre Aumont, Yul Brynner, Jackie Cooper, Kirk Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Henry Fonda, Glenn Ford, Clark Gable, John Garfield, Jackie Gleason, Cary Grant, Edith Head, Rock Hudson, JFK, Robert Mitchum, Tyrone Power, Martha Raye, Barbara Stanwyck, Franchot Tone, Spencer Tracy, John Wayne, and Johnny Weissmuller.

Cronkite, Walter. "Not only the most trusted man in journalism, but the cheapest." (Sigh. Throw another hero on the fire....)

Crosby, Bing. Unpleasant, cold personality. Treated family horribly and was physically abusive towards his children. Alcoholic. Swapped women (and possibly drag queens) with Milton Berle. Attended at least one orgy. Linked with Joan Bennett, Ingrid Bergman, Joan Blondell, Frances Farmer, Grace Kelly, and Mary Martin.

Crosby, Cathy Lee. $cientologist.

Crow, Sheryl. Drug addict. Difficult to work with. Broke up Ellen-and-Anne by nailing Anne, having Anne fall in love with her, and then tossing Anne aside. Also linked with Josh Charles, Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan (ewww!), Jakob Dylan, Kid Rock, and Owen Wilson.

Crowe, Russell. Reports are divided on whether is a straight-shooter or an egotistical roughneck. Drunkard. High school drop-out. Has had at least one three-way (with another man, no less); rumored to have been same-sex before he hit it big in Hollywood; rumored to be flirty to gay men until they respond, at which point he gets abusive. Shouts his own name in bed. Rumored to have sold drugs as a teen. Rumored to have hit women in the past. Brawler who fights dirty, including biting his opponents. Linked with Jennifer Connelly, Jodie Foster, Heather Graham, Nicole Kidman, Courtney Love, Meg Ryan, Winona Ryder, and Sharon Stone.

Cruise, Tom. Oh, definitely not a Friend Of Dorothy. Why would you ever think such a thing? No, certainly not. And he definitely doesn't force his gay lovers to sign lengthy non-disclosure contracts before he gets involved with them; that's just a vile, untrue rumor started to bring shame on this quite emphatically heterosexual movie star. Certainly not someone who has and enjoys sex with lots of men. One would never hear Mr. Cruise described as "awkward and inarticulate" when speaking without a script, and certainly never hear him described as "vain, shallow, and pretentious." No, certainly not--the reverse is true of Mr. Cruise! $cientologist. Vain & arrogant. Never graduated from high school. Acted badly towards Nicole Kidman during their break-up, which was caused partially by his insistence on raising the kids $cientologist (she wanted them raised Catholic) and partially because of her pregnancy, which may have been his and may have been Ewan McGregor's. Broke up with Nicole via his representatives. (Cruise, you swine.) Linked with Patricia Arquette, Cher, Penelope Cruz, Rebecca De Mornay, Nelly Furtado, Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman, Heather Locklear, Paul Newman, Lisa Marie Presley, and Mimi Rogers.

Cruz, Penelope. Lesbian. And those rumors you hear about her acting the beard for Tom Cruise? Don't believe them. No, I mean it. No, seriously. Linked with Matthew McConaughey.

Cukor, George. FOD.

Culkin, Macaulay. Perhaps the quintessential Too Famous Too Soon child star. Messed up on drugs--somewhat understandable, given his father (as thorough an ogre as you're likely to run across outside of the Crosby household). Possibly molested by Michael Jackson. Very friendly in person, however. Linked with Mila Kunis (of That '70s Show).

Cumming, Alan. Gay. "Very sweet and gracious."

Curry, Tim. "An absolute sweetheart - a lovely guy." FOD or Bi______. Linked with Annie Potts.

Curtis, Jamie Lee. Pothead. Recovering drug and alcohol addict. Married to Christopher Guest. Linked with Adam Ant.

Curtis, Tony. Abused by his mother. Recovering drug & alcohol addict. Linked with, oh, just about everybody including Janet Leigh, Marilyn Monroe, Mamie Van Doren, and the occasional man.

Cusack, John. Cokehead and heavy drinker who can act very badly on occasion, and apparently has a bad reputation in Chicago. (Oh, John, say it ain't so!) Linked with Pamela Anderson, Neve Campbell, Minnie Driver, Claire Forlani, Meg Ryan, and Uma Thurman.

Dafoe, Willem. "A gracious man who seems to enjoy talking to people no matter who they are or what they do." One of the Ten Biggest Men in Hollywood. Linked with Madonna and Mira Sorvino.

Dalle, Beatrice. Thief, drug user (cocaine and heroin) and generally wild and uncontrollable woman. Linked with Rupert Everett.

Daly, Carson. Even less intelligent than he looks, which is saying something. Recently pushed his way to the front of a line at JFK Airport, showing himself to be not just stupid but a bully to boot. Hung. Likes cute, well-hung boys; used his mouth to climb the ladder at MTV. Linked with Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Tara Reid (what, does Daly wield The Force against women or something?).

Damon, Matt. Cracking under pressure of fame, the little punk. Best friends with Ben Affleck, and possibly more than that. Likes threeways with hookers and Ben Affleck. One account has the two looking at each other (and getting off on that) while doing the pro. Got William Goldman to scriptdoctor Good Will Hunting--the final product was not Damon & Affleck's alone. Linked with Penelope Cruz, Claire Danes (when she was under the legal age), Minnie Driver (who found out that he'd dumped her when she heard it on Oprah--Damon, you jerk), Susanna Eng, Calista Flockhart, Lucy Liu, Eva Mendes, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Winona Ryder.

Dando, Evan. Linked with Bijou Phillips, Julianna Hatfield, Courtney Love, Kylie Minogue (who he was caught having sex with in a public toilet), and Liv Tyler, among others--and, yes, he and Julianna were having sex.

Danes, Claire. Insecurity leads her to take abuse from men--or perhaps it's her need to cover up her attraction to women. She needs someone like me to talk to. Treated badly by Yalies, poor thing. (Should have gone to Harvard....) Linked with Billy Crudup, Matt Damon and Ben Lee.

Dangerfield, Rodney. Problem with substance abuse.

Daniels, Charlie. Flaunts his historical and political ignorance in his pro-war statements. Had a woman fired for e-mailing him an anti-war message.

Daniels, Anthony. "Kind of a schmuck...was very conspicuously chatting up naive young female fans at one convention."

Daniels, Jeff. A nice guy.

Danson, Ted. Reportedly vain. Long time client of LA BDSM house; "a well-behaved client and a good tipper." Formerly involved with Whoopi Goldberg. Currently married to Mary Steenburgen.

Danza, Tony. Self-important (though at least one bartender says otherwise) and often unpleasant to fans and strangers. Fingered as a client of a gay escort; prefers well-hung gentlemen, esp. porn stars.

Dash, Stacey. Bore the children of Christopher Williams, the man who beat Halle Berry so badly that she's almost deaf in one ear. Also linked with Aaliyah.

Davies, Marion. Linked with Charlie Chaplin, Clark Gable, Leslie Howard, Joseph P. Kennedy, Dick Powell, William Randolph Hearst and Rudolph Valentino. (Her clitoris was nicknamed "rosebud" by Hearst, which is meaningful to you if you've seen Citizen Kane.)

Davies, Ray. Bisexual. Linked with Chrissie Hynde.

Davis, Ann B. Religious fanatic and alcoholic. L______.

Davis, Bette. A great star, and a great bitch (and not in a good way). Linked with Humphrey Bogart, Henry Fonda, Howard Hughes, Franchot Tone, and Gig Young.

Davis, Geena. Very difficult to work with, and has let her success go to her head. Breast implants. Linked with Jeff Goldblum, Renny Harlin (busted marriage) and Brad Pitt.

Davis, Kristin. "Snotty and spoiled." Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Alec Baldwin and Jeff Goldblum.

Davis, Miles. "The single most overrated figure in jazz." Brilliant despite the hype, but his genius does not outweigh the pure evil he did to so many other people. Emotionally and physically violent towards women, including Cicely Tyson during their marriage.

Davis, Jr, Sammy. Bisexual. Member of the Church of Satan. Had a taste for porn. Linked with Marilyn Chambers, Linda Lovelace, Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak and Jean Seberg.

Dawson, Rosario. Linked with Colin Farrell (who dumped her in a very rude and abrupt way) and Joshua Jackson.

Day, Doris. Hard to work with. Had an unhappy life. Linked with Jimmy Hoffa, Frank Sinatra, Tyrone Power, Ronald Reagan, Burt Reynolds, Debbie Reynolds, Sly (of Sly and the Family Stone), and Maury Wills.

De Acosta, Mercedes. Gave rise to the game of linking people via their sexual conquests. Famed Hollywood L______. Linked to Maude Adams, Alice B. Toklas, Marlene Dietrich, Isadora Duncan, and Greta Garbo.

Dean, James. Open bisexual; habitue of rough trade and leather bars. Linked with Nick Adams, Ursula Andress, Pier Angeli, Montgomery Clift, Rock Hudson, Eartha Kitt, Roddy McDowell, Sal Mineo, Liz Sheridan (Seinfeld's mom on Seinfeld) and Natalie Wood. Difficult to work with. Called 'the Human Ashtray' because he would ask men in leather bars to put out their cigarettes on his bare chest. Reportedly enjoyed amputees.

Degeneres, Ellen. "Very nice to the crew on her new talk show." Openly gay. Linked with Anne Heche, KD Lang and Martha Stewart. Some have said she is difficult to work with.

De Havilland, Olivia. Bisexual. Linked with Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, Edward Heath, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Frederic March, Burgess Meredith and Jimmy Stewart.

De La Hoya, Oscar. Rapist. Anti-semite.

Delaney, Kim. L______. Habitue' of L.A. girl bars. Once smuggled ganja for friends. DUI arrest.

Delon, Alain. Closet queen. National Front member. Linked with Brigitte Bardot, Jane Fonda, Shirley Maclain, and Nico.

Del Toro, Benicio. Regular guy. Macho. "Shockingly sweet...amazingly mellow." (I continue to get e-mails about what a nice guy he is). Has no particular liking for oral sex. "Severely hygienically negligent." "Always carries a condom in his wallet." (Silly man, don't you know that your body heat will warp and stretch the latex?). Linked with Sophie Dahl, Susanna Eng, Claire Forlani, Heather Graham, Scarlett Johanssen, and Alicia Silverstone.

Deluise, Dom. FOD.

DeMille, Cecil B. Anti-Semite.

De Mornay, Rebecca. Daughter of rightwing crackpot Wally George. Liinked with Leonard Cohen and Tom Cruise.

Deneuve, Catherine. Into young boys in leather. Linked with Dean Martin, Marcelle Mastroianni, Roman Polanski, Burt Reynolds, Omar Sharif and Roger Vadim.

De Niro, Robert. "Stupid and boring." "Socially lost, but a total gentleman to work with." "A big weirdo; he once complained that our coffee was too expensive!" Ho-hopper; linked to prostitutes both domestically and internationally. Prefers African-American women (and, if one rumor is to be believed, women who prefer bubble-gum to beer). Linked with Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, Calista Flockhart, Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman and Shelley Winters.

Dennehy, Brian. "Extremely nice to his fans."

Denver, Bob. Pothead. Was very generous to his fellow cast members.

Denver, John. His head was never recovered following his fatal plane crash. Alcoholic.

Depardieu, Gerard. Is helping ruin French tv dramas by charging excessive fees. Asshole. Grammar school dropout. Hygienically challenged. Bad, cheap father. Linked with Nastassja Kinski (when she was underage) and John Travolta.

Depp, Johnny. Difficult to work with (or perhaps not; e-mailed accounts differ). Drug user/abuser. Experimenting sexually. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Sherilyn Fenn, Jennifer Grey, Juliette Lewis, Kate Moss (who he shared addictions with), Vanessa Paradis, Christina Ricci,and Winona Ryder.

Derek, Bo. "Very nice woman. As down to earth as can possibly be expected." Acted in porn before starring in 10. Reportedly frigid, but g-d knows that enduring the sleazy reptilian touch (and no doubt clumsy pawing) of John Derek would be enough to turn any woman off men for the rest of her days. Linked with John Corbett.

Derek, John. Creep. Jerk. Bisexual. Linked with (married to) Ursula Andress, Bo Derek, Linda Evans, and Miles O'Keefe.

Dern, Laura. Helped break up the marriages of Billy Bob Thornton and Ben Harper. Linked with Nicholas Cage, Jeff Goldblum, Renny Harlin, Kyle MacLachlan, Vincent Spano, and Treat Williams (while still a teen).

de Rossi, Portia. L______. Recovering anorexic.

Des Barres, Pamela. World's Most Famous Groupie. Linked with Micheal Des Barres, Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Waylon Jennings, Don Johnson, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and Frank Zappa.

Dey, Susan. Recovering alcoholic and anorexic. Has daddy issues and prefers older men. Linked with David Cassidy and Wes Craven (while he was married).

Diana, Princess. Vain, shallow, petty woman. The less you knew her, the better you liked her. Addicted to Rohypnol.

Diaz, Cameron. "Self-important bimbo." Germ-phobic. Alcoholic and drug user. Very hard to work for; once made her assistant shave her armpits for her. The blonde nitwit in Lost in Translation is reportedly based on her. Has very bad acne, bad body odor, and bad breath. (What is the appeal of this woman?) Linked with Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Ed Norton, Vincent D'Onofrio, Justin Timberlake (she is acting the beard for him), and Vince Vaughn.

Dicaprio, Leonardo. Slut. Reportedly aggressively bisexual. Treated Claire Danes horrendously on the set of Romeo (although I've since been told that the latter rumor isn't so and that the two are friends). Reported heavy drug & alcohol use, to the point where it interferes with his acting performance. Hygienically challenged. Punk. Allegedly made gay porn under another name. Has used hookers in the past; likes anal sex with them. Tickle fetishist. Linked with Christina Aguilera (the combined weight of their skanky ho-itude no doubt created a Black Hole of Skankiness), David Blaine, Gisele Bundchen, Naomi Campbell, Cameron Diaz, Natasha Henstridge, Eva Herzigova, Lauren Holly, Rachel Hunter, Juliette Lewis, Tobey Maguire, Demi Moore, Kate Moss, Bijou Philips, Baby Spice,
Q-Tip, and Kate Winslet.

Dick, Andy. Aptly named. DUI and drug abuser. Bisexual.

Dickinson, Angie. Linked with Burt Bacharach, Johnny Carson, David Janssen, JFK, Larry King, and Frank Sinatra.

Dickinson, Janice. A playa. Linked with Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Grace Jones & Dolph Lundgren (in a three-way), Kelly LeBrock, Liam Neeson, Jack Nicholson, Prince Albert, and Sylvester Stallone.

Diddy, P. (aka the Egotist Formerly Known As Sean Coombs and Puff Daddy.) Hard to work for. Lousy in the sack. Possibly Bi______. Cruel to animals--threw a puppy from the roof of his Village townhouse. I've heard hints of even more evil behavior toward humans by him. "Incredible cheapskate." Linked with Foxxy Brown, Naomi Campbell, Mariah Carey, Lil Kim, Lisa Lopes, Jennifer Lopez, Mase, and Leah Remini.

Diesel, Vin. Prefers the company of gentlemen (what a loss!) (this is fiercely disputed and supported, with a number of supposed "eye-witness" accounts testifying for and against. There's only one way to settle this. Vin--do me!). "Incredibly generous to friends and family." Ashamed of his ethnic background. Supposedly--ha, this is a good one--supposedly the son of Elliot Gould while Gould was married to Streisand. Reportedly a nice guy in person. Linked with Asia Argento, Mariah Carey, Nicole Kidman and Michelle Rodriguez.

Dietrich, Marlene. Good old girl; player with both sexes, though preferred women. Had a final, ugly descent into alcoholism. Linked with Brian Aherne, Burt Bacharach, Cecil Beaton, George Bernard Shaw (!), Yul Brynner, Claudette Colbert, Colette, Ronald Colman, Gary Cooper, Mercedes De Acosta, Kirk Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, Eddie Fisher, Kay Francis, Greta Garbo, John Gilbert, Edith Head, Billie Holliday, Lena Horne, Howard Hughes, Joseph P Kennedy, JFK, Burt Lancaster, Fritz Lang, Hattie McDaniel, Burgess Meredith, Edward R. Murrow, Edith Piaf, George Raft, Erich Maria Remarque, William Saroyan, Frank Sinatra, Barbara Stanwyck, Adlai Stevenson, Jimmy Stewart, Mike Todd, Dionne Warwick, John Wayne, and Orson Welles.

Dillon, Kevin. "Totally one of the good guys, good tipper, easygoing with whomever recognized him."

Dillon, Matt. Reportedly bisexual. Likes being tied up. Alcoholic. Drug addict. "Seen more ass than a bus station toilet seat." Linked with Ellen Barkin, Mariah Carey and Cameron Diaz.

DiMaggio, Joe. Physical abuser of women, including Marilyn Monroe. Whoremonger. Psychopathically cold personality. Treated his family badly. Had mob ties. In sum, as bad at being a person as he was good at playing baseball.

Disney, Walt. Cold fish personality; sexist, racist, anti-Semitic homophobe.

Doctor Phil. Tells racist and homophobic jokes to his staff.

Doherty, Shannon. Completely unpleasant person. Hypocritical conservative. Incredibly hard to work with. Has a long string of failed relationships, from one-night stands (of which there were a number) to ongoing relationships. Bi______; rumored to have been a regular at Playboy Mansion parties and engaged in trysts with Playmates. Breast implants. Linked with Heidi Fleiss, and possibly a former worker for her. Recovering (current?) drug & alcohol addict. Drunk driver. Linked with Judd Nelson and Matthew Perry.

Dole, Bob. Reportedly a good person and nice guy, although there are a number of stories about his temper. Divorced once and had affairs while separated. Facelift.

Dolenz, Mickey. Does not have a good reputation when it comes to interacting with the fans.

Domingo, Placido. "Can't keep it in his pants around women."

D'Onofrio, Vincent. His ego has ballooned even larger than his quite sizable package. Very bad-tempered. Sex addict. Linked with Cameron Diaz and Greta Scacchi.

Dorsett, Tony. "Not nice to fans, even to kids." (This shouldn't surprise anyone--he's a former Dallas Cowboy, after all).

Douglas, Illeana. Diva-in-training. Linked with Martin Scorsese.

Douglas, Kirk. "The most hated man in Hollywood." Difficult to work with (obviously). Sex addict, and was willing to physically force women to have sex with him (which is to say, he was a rapist; among his victims were Jean Seberg and Natalie Wood). Linked with Lauren Bacall, Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Rita Hayworth, Patricia Neal, Gene Tierney, and Lana Turner.

Douglas, Michael. Repugnant, contemptible man. Recovering drug & alcohol and sex addict. Unpleasant to fans. Linked with Maureen Dowd, Melanie Griffith, Demi Moore, Brenda Vaccaro, and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Downey, Robert, Jr. Was a penis-lashed "human piñata" courtesy of the other inmates in jail; made lotsof new friends in his cell. Has now admitted to several same-sex episodes. Recovering and probably current drug addict. Stalks his ex-girlfriend. Never graduated from high school. Linked with Farrah Fawcett, Calista Flockhart, Sarah Jessica Parker, Winona Ryder, and Uma Thurman.

Downey, Roma. Linked with married man Michael Nouri.

Dre, Dr. Bi______.

Drescher, Fran. Yet another failed Hollywood marriage.

Dreyfuss, Richard. Recovering drug & alcohol addict. Difficult to work with. Good liberal, though. Closeted FOD or bisexual. Friendly to fans (with one or two exceptions).

Driver, Minnie. Possibly not nearly so sweet as she likes to be portrayed. Linked with Josh Brolin, John Cusack, Matt Damon, David Duchovny, Joey Fatone (of NSYNC), Harrison Ford, Chris Isaak, Mick Jagger (oh, yuch), David Schwimmer, and Elliot Smith.

Drudge, Matt. FOD and egg fetishist who's done great damage to his gay brothers and sisters by aiding the cause of fascists, intolerant orthodox Christians, and conservative scum. Ethically challenged hypocritical lackey and moral catamite to right-wingers. We remember you from the old days, Matt-o, and when you fall back to obscurity we'll be waiting with sharpened knives.

Dryer, Fred. Difficult to work with. Sexually harasses his coworkers. Conservative yahoo. Linked with Tracy Vaccaro.

Duchovny, David. Married to Tea Leoni; deals with his separation from her by engaging in steamy phone-sex with her. Pothead. Reportedly likes strippers and young women. Likes porn--a lot. Hard to work with (this is disputed). Formerly with Gillian Anderson (allegedly fathered her child), Minnie Driver, and Winona Ryder.

Duff, Hilary. Her mom is a racist bitch. It just may be that some of the lead vocals on Hilary's songs in Hilary's sister Hayley, rather than Hillary herself. "Diva and spoiled...many tantrums and feuds." Has (already) developed a coke problem.

Dunaway, Faye. Difficult to work with; was once voted "worst passenger" by a group of H'wood limo drivers. Very cheap, very self-absorbed. Possibly used drugs in the past. Just generally unpleasant to everyone, and that's on her good days. Linked with Marlon Brando, Lenny Bruce, Michael Caine, Marcello Mastroianni, Steve McQueen, Jack Nicholson, and Peter Wolf.

Duncan, Isadora. Aggressively Bi_______, and quite enjoyed herself. Linked with Mercedes De Acosta and a cast of thousands.

Duncan, Michael Clarke. Rumored to be Bi______. "Incredibly friendly, wonderfully gracious, and really nice to fans.  He's also really nice to work with." "A master in the bedroom. A perfect gentleman and quite romantic."

Dunst, Kirsten. "Stuck-up," although since writing that I've gotten several e-mails attesting to Kirsten being really sweet (So far the e-mail has been running 20% "she was a real bitch to me" to 80% "she was so incredibly sweet to me". Caught smoking pot in public (not smart, girl, not smart) and may have an alcohol problem. Linked with Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger and Tobey Maguire.

Duritz, Adam. Linked with Jennifer Aniston, Lara Flynn Boyle, Courtney Cox, Mary Louise Parker, Winona Ryder, and Gwen Stefani. (Having typed this, I will now light myself on fire.) (I stole that line from ESPN's brilliant Sports Guy.)

Durst, Fred. "What a sad, pathetic loser." Linked with Carmen Electra, Alyssa Milano, and Brittany Murphy.

Duvall, Clea. "Very easy to work with, cares a lot about the people around her." "One of the sweetest and most down to earth women working in show business today." Lesbian.

Dylan, Bob. Has treated his women badly; numerous sexual diseases. Plagiarist. Linked with Joan Baez, Sheryl Crow, & Pamela Des Barres.

Earle, Steve. Recovering addict.

Eastwood, Alison. "Stupid bitchpie."

Eastwood, Clint. Refreshingly modest and down-to-Earth personality. Did not treat Sondra Locke particularly well in his relationship with her, though, and has a problem with staying faithful. Oh, and I've been told one story of his being incredibly rude to a fan. Has shown up on set in drag at least twice--it's all a joke, he claims. Wife beater. Dodged military service in Korea. Possible early same-sex relationship with his mentor Arthur Lubin. Also linked with Francis Fisher and Babs Streisand.

Eckhart, Aaron. Alcohol problem. Can be very rude "if you are acting with him, otherwise he's a good guy." Linked with Charlize Theron.

Eden, Barbara. Inexplicably popular in Japan. Reportedly now shopping her fading charms around for cash.

Eddy, Nelson. Not, contrary to what I said earlier, gay; was, rather, devoted to Jeanette MacDonald. (How sweet!)

Eggert, Nicole. Hygienically challenged. Drug/alcohol problems. "Has traded favors for parts one or two times." Linked with Scott Baio and Corey Haim, among others.

Ekberg, Anita. Linked with Gary Cooper & Marcello Mastroianni.

Ekland, Britt. Bi______. Linked with Warren Beatty, George Hamilton, Ryan O'Neal, Peter Sellers, Rod Stewart.

Electra, Carmen. Admits to same-sex affairs. Will use the casting couch to get roles. "Really isn't kidding--she is really a dumb bimbo. Communal box of popcorn for Hollywood." Linked with Vin Diesel, Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit), Tommy Lee, Dave Navarro, Prince, and Dennis Rodman.

Elfman, Jenna. $cientologist. Linked with Thomas Gibson. Pothead. Given to salty language.

Ellington, Duke. At the least very gay-positive; may have slept with his openly gay collaborator Billy Strayhorn.

Elliot, David James. "An absolute terror on set. Jackass and prick are two words often used to describe him."

Elliott, Missy. L______. Linked with Da Brat and Trina.

Elwes, Cary. Gay. (sigh, what a loss) "Nicest guy in the world - great sense of humor."

Eminem. Described as a nice guy by his friends, but his lyrics are vile and evil. Reportedly closeted very deeply and likes that back-door loving from and with men, and likes to watch men have sex with his girlfriend. Linked with Kim Basinger, Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Geri Halliwell, Elton John, Gina Lynn, and Brittany Murphy.

Eng, Susanna. Tssss...*hot*. (Difficult to work with, however, or so I'm hearing). Recovering cocaine and painkiller addict. Linked with Orlando Bloom (or perhaps it was just a PR stunt), Matt Damon, Seth Green, Salma Hayek, James Marsters, Lenny Kravitz, Ewan McGregor, Joaquin Phoenix, Eric Stoltz, Benicio del Toro, and Owen Wilson.

Englund, Robert. Gay.

Epps, Omar. Bisexual and a philanderer; has vd from his wildcatting ways.

Erving, Julius. (Dr. J). Playa, old school.

Estevez, Emilio. $cientologist. Linked with Paula Abdul (ex-wife) and Demi Moore.

Etheridge, Melissa. Out of the closet L_____. Linked with Meg Ryan, Helen Hunt, and Tammy Lynn Michaels (of Popular).

Evangelista, Linda. L_______; using Kyle MacLachlan as a merkin.

Evans, Robert. One of the leading swordsman in Hollywood.

Eve. Lesbian. Former escort.

Everett, Rupert. Openly gay; former rentboy. Into very rough S&M games and viciously harassing his ex-lovers. Linked with Beatrice Dalle.

Fabio. "Nice guy--tacky dresser but nice." Gay (or not, according to some women). Pot user. Extremely nice to fans.

Fallon, Jimmy. There are competing stories about him being "funny and friendly" with fans (when sober) and a real cad (when drunk). Grabby with women, too.

Farley, Chris. "Addicted to everything."

Farr, Jamie. "VERY nice and friendly."

Farrell, Colin. All you Farrell haters--don't playa hate--congratulate! Friendly to fans. Linked with Rosario Dawson (who he abruptly dumped for) Angelina Jolie, Jared Leto, Demi Moore, Kevin Spacey, Britney Spears, Robin Wright, and a constantly growing list, who unfortunately are discovering that CF leaves a little extra behind (a three letter extra, first letter sounds like "esss," last letter sounds like "dee," middle letter sounds like something you drink rather than coffee) after he leaves in the morning. Hygienically challenged and is quite stinky. Recovering drug and alcohol abuser. Likes the sistas, although his high-profile conquests are lighter. "Totally nice and accommodating."

Farrell, Terry. Linked with Mickey Rourke.

Farrow, Mia. Failed marriages to/relationships with Woody Allen, Eddie Fisher, Ryan O'Neal, Roman Polanski, Andre Previn, Philip Roth, Peter Sellers, Frank Sinatra, and Tom Stoppard. Adopted many refugees from overseas but raised them in dubious manner. Shrill and humorless. Occasional drunk driver.

Fawcett, Farrah. Cokehead. Prima donna wanna-be. Slut during her early years as an actress. Kleptomaniac. Lots of plastic surgery. Married & divorced Lee Majors. Linked with Robert Downey, Jr., Ryan O'Neal, Vincent Van Patten, Burt Reynolds, and Sylvester Stallone.

Feldman, Corey. Obnoxious punk; drug addict & drunkard. Rumored to have shared a bed and more with Michael Jackson.

Fenn, Sherilyn. "Very down to earth." Linked with Johnny Depp, Prince, and Kiefer Sutherland.

Fergie, Duchess of York. Has been stalking Tiger Woods. She's also stalked Kevin Costner, JFK, Jr. (show some dignity, girl!), and George Clooney.

Field, Sally. Wears waaaay too much perfume. Linked with Johnny Carson, Kevin Kline, and Burt Reynolds.

Fiennes, Joseph. "Has ideas above his station. Rude to make up artists. Shags around. Shagged Naomi Campbell."

Fiennes, Ralph. Overly impressed with himself (although I've gotten the random e-mail from waiters and the like about how nice he was to them). Left his wife for an older woman. Bi______. Has a wandering eye when his wife isn't around, and doesn't limit himself to women. Is very well hung.

Fierstein, Harvey. Sweet, insecure, openly gay.

Finney, Albert. "Very polite, very nice." Linked with Anouk Aimee, Audrey Hepburn, Diane Keaton, and Shelley Winters.

Fiorentino, Linda. Enthusiastically played the field--both sides--while in college. Difficult to work with. Size queen.

Fishburne, Laurence. Rude to fans. I've received a number of different e-mails implying that Mr. Fishburne (don't call him "Larry") is gay.

Fisher, Carrie. Recovering drug addict. Former wife of Paul Simon. Never graduated from high school. Bipolar, but is finally on the right drug regimen and has her life together again--good for you, Ms. Fisher. Very witty writer. Linked with Ben Affleck (you go, Carrie!), Harrison Ford, and George Lucas.

Fisher, Eddie. Admitted speed user. Linked with Pier Angeli, Ann-Margaret, Marlene Dietrich, Mia Farrow, Judy Garland, Merle Oberon, Stefanie Powers, Debbie Reynolds, Connie Stevens, Elizabeth Taylor, and Mamie Van Doren.

Flatley, Michael. Hilariously vain and conceited dancer. One of several men for which the phrase "GET OVER YOURSELF" was invented. Divorced his wife. Voted one of the twenty most-hated people in Ireland. Recently sued for rape.

Fleischer, Ari. Known around Washington for making inappropriate advances toward at least one reporter. Has apparently also been cruising gay websites for sex partners.

Fleming, Ian. Slut. Wife-swapper and Bi______.

Flockhart, Calista. Anorexic, and rumored to have a heroin jones. Nice to fans. Linked with Matt Damon, Robert Downey, Jr., Robert DeNiro, Harrison Ford, David E. Kelley (who she cuckolded Michelle Pfeiffer with) (although at least one reliable source has informed me that Calista was shacking up with Kelley's co-exec-producer Jeffrey Kramer, not Kelley himself), and Garry Shandling (who deserved much better than and from Flockhart).

Flynn, Errol. "The most despicable human being yet born." "My son had not only been a bad little boy, he had been a nasty little boy." Jerk and Nazi sympathizer--also a spy for the Axis, if rumors are to be believed. A closeted FOD. Anti-Semite. Linked with Truman Capote, Olivia de Havilland, Doris Duke, Howard Hughes, Barbara Hutton, Hedy Lamarr, David Niven, Eva Peron, Tyrone Power, Lana Turner, Gloria Vanderbilt, Lupe Velez, and Shelley Winters.

Fonda, Bridget. "The only starlet in her 20s that I found cool when I interviewed her." Linked with Danny Elfman, Eric Stoltz and Dwight Yoakam.

Fonda, Henry. Cold man in person, even to his family. Linked with Lucille Ball, Joan Crawford, and Bette Davis.

Fonda, Jane. Ninny. Wasn't faithful to Tom Hayden during their marriage. Breast implants. Multiple plastic surgeries. Shamed herself permanently by visiting North Vietnam during the War--we sure weren't saints during that war, but the North Vietnamese and Chinese were a damn sight worse. (At least she apologized for it. Eventually). Linked with Warren Beatty, Alain Delon, James Franciscus, Tom Hayden, Rob Lowe, Huey Newton, Michelle Phillips, Papa John Phillips, Robert Redford, Jimmy Smits, Donald Sutherland, Ted Turner (failed marriage), and Roger Vadim (with whom she enjoyed threesomes--with other girls--in Paris).

Fonda, Peter. "Really sweet. Pothead"

Ford, Faith. "Very nice to her fans."

Ford, Glenn. Linked with Joan Crawford, Eva Gabor, Judy Garland, Rita Hayworth, Debbie Reynolds, and Barbara Stanwyck.

Ford, Harrison. Rumored to be a skirt-chasing slut into stripper clubs; wife dumped him when she found out that the rumors were true. Big hemp smoker. Also rumored to be into leather and S&M, as well as being a homophobe. (Although rumors begin to emerge about his dalliances with younger men). The Bill Murray character in Lost in Translation is reportedly based on him. Good tipper. Linked with Lara Flynn Boyle, Lesley Ann Down, Minnie Driver, Carrie Fisher, Calista Flockhart, Julia Ormond, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kristen Scott Thomas, and "about four dozen others."

Ford, John. "An S.O.B., a demonic man. Part of his mercurial personality was to do something he knew was mean or mischievous, then try to justify it." Bisexual. Linked with Katherine Hepburn.

Foster, Jodie. Closeted L______. Reported to be very nice in person. Some experience with drugs in the past. Was repeatedly molested when young. Close "friendship" with homophobe Mel Gibson. Had major falling out with Michael Douglas. Linked with Gillian Anderson, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson, Rob Lowe, Kelly McGillis, and Julian Sands (?!).

Fox, Rick. Cheating SOB.

Fox, Vivica. Linked with 50 Cent. (That's way too much woman for him, as events proved). "Self-absorbed bitch."

Foxx, Jamie. Self-important. Frequents Gentlemen's Clubs. Drug user. Bad tipper. Chubby chaser. Prefers white women.

Foxx, Redd. Difficult to work with.

Francis, Kay. L______.

Frank, Barney. Out. Would make a great president. "Very nice guy, bit of a klutz."

Franklin, Aretha. Victim of incest; her first child was her father's.

Franz, Dennis. Can be a jerk. (Although I've also heard some good things about him in e-mail).

Fraser, Brendan. FOD. Hygienically challenged. (Brendan, you stink! Bathe, man, bathe!) Linked with Alicia Silverstone.

Freeman, Morgan. Heavy ganja smoker. Recovering alcoholic.

Fry, Stephen. Playing for the home team. No longer celibate, as he was for a good long while. "The nicest man you could ever hope to meet."

Furlong, Edward. Abuser of women. Drug user. Linked with Natasha Lyonne.

Gable, Clark. Notorious tightwad. Bad breath, and bad in bed. Preferred blondes--had a hang-up about brown/black pubic hair. Used the casting couch to break into Hollywood; had George Cukor fired from Gone With The Wind because Cukor knew that. A hustler for gay clients. Committed murderous hit and run, and MGM covered for him. Linked with Joan Crawford, Marion Davies, Olivia de Havilland, Ava Gardner, Paulette Goddard, Jean Harlow, Grace Kelly, Hedy Lamarr, Carole Lombard, Merle Oberon, Louella Parsons, Nancy Davis Reagan, Norma Shearer, Lana Turner, Lupe Velez, Shelley Winters, and Loretta Young.

Gabor, Eva. One of the good Gabor sisters. (Zsa Zsa was the evil one.) Never experienced an orgasm with a man; faked every one of them. Linked with Glenn Ford, Merv Griffin, Tyrone Power, and Frank Sinatra.

Gabor, Zsa Zsa. "The most expensive courtesan since Mme de Pompadour." Vain, arrogant, unpleasant woman. Slapped a cop who -dared- pull her over on a traffic violation. Cheated on every one of her nine husbands. Linked with Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Duke of Saxony, Conrad Hilton, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk (!), JFK, Aly Khan, Henry Kissinger, William S. Paley, Porfirio Rubirosa, George Sanders (after they had divorced and while George was married to Zsa Zsa's sister Magda), Frank Sinatra, and Rafael Trujillo.

Gabriel, Peter. Linked with Laurie Anderson, Roseanne Arquette, Kate Bush, and Sinead O'Connor.

Gaiman, Neil. "Is even nicer than you've heard."

Gallagher, Liam. Asshole. Linked with Helena Christiansen, Rachel Hunter, and Patsy Kensit.

Gandolfini, James. Recovering cocaine and alcohol addict.

Garbo, Greta. Sad woman; had her career sabotaged by MGM. Rumored to be a man. Linked with Max Baer, Tallulah Bankhead, Louise Brooks, Mercedes De Acosta, Dolores Del Rio, Marlene Dietrich, John Gilbert (who she left standing at the altar), Joseph P. Kennedy, Carson McCullers, Ramon Novarro, Erich Maria Remarque, Leopold Stokowski, and William S. Paley.

Garcia, Jerry. Drug addict. Hired by the FBI in 1968 to "channel youth dissent and rebellion into more benign and nonthreatening directions."

Gardner, Ava. "The world's most exciting animal." Temperamental, self-destructive, and a drunk. Linked to Richard Burton, Robert Evans, Clark Gable, Lena Horne, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Fernando Lamas, Peter Lawford, Robert Mitchum, David Niven, Mickey Rooney, Porfirio Rubirosa, George C. Scott, Omar Sharif, Artie Shaw, Frank Sinatra, Robert Taylor, Mel Torme, and Lana Turner.

Garfield, John. Good old lefty liberal who was essentially killed by HUAC. Linked with Joan Crawford, Hedy Lamarr, Edith Piaf, Lana Turner, and Shelley Winters.

Garland, Judy. Led a sad & unpleasant life: alcohol, pills, suicide attempts; died from an "accidental" drug overdose. Bisexual. Linked with Dirk Bogarde, Yul Brynner, Eddie Fisher, Glenn Ford, Aly Khan, Peter Lawford, Oscar Levant, Ethel Merman (!), Tyrone Power, Artie Shaw, Frank Sinatra, Robert Stack, Kay Thompson, Spencer Tracy (when JG was 15), and Orson Welles.

Garner, James. FOD married to beard. Linked with Lauren Bacall.

Garner, Jennifer. "A real sweetheart." Linked with Ben Affleck and Michael Vartan. Her marriage to Scott Foley failed when a) Foley's fragile male ego couldn't take Garner's success or b) when Garner's success changed her.

Garofalo, Janeane. Janeane, you're wonderful--don't worry about yourself so much! Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Ben Stiller.

Garrett, Leif. Drug user. Linked with Justine Bateman, Nicolette Sheridan, and Teri Wiegel.

Gates, Bill. Poster boy for the Nerd Generation. Is heavily dominated/hen-pecked by his wife. Still unclear whether Gates and Microsoft are only examples of greed, or whether there is a more sinister evil at work. Hygienically challenged; is a "full-on slob." Has this thing where he sometimes rocks uncontrollably in his chair. Had a need for speed (automotive) while young. Reportedly entertains call girls in his office. Does not tip at all when he eats out. (Open the wallet, you cheapskate!)

Gaynor, Janet. Bisexual. Linked with Mary Martin.

Geary, Tony. (Of General Hospital) Gay, gay, gay!

Geer, Will. Closet queen and open communist. Linked with Harry Hay, a pioneer in the American gay rights movement.

Gellar, Sarah Michelle. Recovering anorexic. Prefers to go out with men less famous than she. Has grown too impressed with herself and acted the diva on the set of Scooby Doo; "arrived for her fitting with large entourage and a condescending attitude." Has hair extension because of the damage all that dyeing has done to her hair. Just had her breasts done (or not, according to Liz Smith). Either "bitchy" and "imperious" or simply too take-charge and aggressive for fragile egos. I've received a couple of e-mails from store clerks and cashiers who said that SMG was "condescending" and "patronizing" to them. Linked with David Boreanaz (whose marriage she helped destroy), James Marsters (who she should dump Freddie Prinze Jr. for), Jerry O'Connell, Matthew Perry, and Freddie Prinze Jr (whose attraction, for SMG, is one of the great mysteries of our time).

Gere, Richard. Former husband/merkin to Cindy Crawford. Closet case, although the gerbil-stuffing rumor was spread by Stallone. Likes it rough--very rough. Supposedly a regular at the ER of St. Vincent's, where he brings in a few handsome young men every year with ruptured colons. "A big bottom." "Dumber than hell. Narcissistic in the extreme." Or so I'm told. Linked to Kim Basinger, Barbara Carrera, Priscilla Presley, Julia Roberts, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand, Uma Thurman, John Travolta, and Tuesday Weld.

Gershon, Gina. Former prostitute. Got her role on Snoops by nailing David E. Kelley. Linked with Gillian Anderson, Beck, Lenny Kravitz, and Owen Wilson.

Gershwin, George. Slut. Linked to Kitty Carlisle, Paulette Goddard, Ginger Rogers, Simone Simon, and Fay Wray.

Gibbons, Debbie. "Miserable bitch." Bi______.

Gibbons, Leeza. Once upon a time was quite the party girl.

Gibson, Bob (former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher). "Unmitigated prick. Nasty temper."

Gibson, Mel. Strident and clueless Catholic. Anti-Semitic (and anyone who claims he isn't, after having seen his odious piece of offal The Passion, is either lying, anti-Semitic themselves, or pig-ignorant as to what anti-Semitism actually is). Compulsively cheats on his wife; refuses to let her use birth control. Homophobe and sexist. Alcoholic. Has a taste for Thai hookers; has them flown in while he's on set. Is also a shoe fetishist. Racist, given to telling jokes about blacks and using the n-word. Locals on one film agreed that he had "the world's worst case of b.o."

Gielgud, Sir John. Openly gay (good on you, Sir John). Blatant misogynist (bad on you, Sir John).

Gifford, Frank. Lackwit husband to Kathy Lee. Cheated on her when given the chance, admitting his taste for pornography. Former client of Heidi Fleiss' brothel. FOD or Bisexual.

Gifford, Kathie Lee. One of the foci of evil in the modern world. Sociopathic personality; emotional abuser of her child; empty-headed & vain. Exploits third-world workers via her clothing line. Does not treat her assistants well. Cheap tipper. Linked with Kevin Costner.

Gilbert, John. Had his career ruined by that SOB Louis B. Mayer. Was left standing at the altar by Greta Garbo. Linked with Clara Bow, Marlene Dietrich, Carole Lombard, Norma Shearer, and Lupe Velez.

Gilbert, Sara. L______.

Gingrich, Newt. Evil, egotistical conservative martinet. Draft-dodger. Divorced once; cheated/cheats on his wife, and reportedly used House offices for trysts. Has oral sex with women so he can claim he didn't sleep with them. Forced ex-wife to sign divorce papers hours after her cancer surgery. Deadbeat dad.

Gish, Lillian. Bisexual.

Givens, Robin. Difficult to work with, although her failed marriage to (and abuse at the hands of) Mike Tyson might explain that. Linked with Michael Jordan, Jason Kidd, Eddie Murphy (when she was 16), Brad Pitt, Malik Sealy, Howard Stern, Mike Tyson, and Forest Whitaker.

Glenn, Scott. Would-be food connoisseur--but a failure at it. Seen, once, making out in a hot tub with Bruce Jenner. (Man, that's scraping the bottom of the celebrity barrel. What, wasn't Sorrell Booke available?)

Glitter, Gary. Into kiddie porn.

Goddard, Paulette. Bisexual. Had a lifelong taste for rich men and rich living. Linked with Charlie Chaplin (by marriage), Johnny Carson, Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, George Gershwin, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Aldous Huxley (!), Frida Kahlo (!), Sir Alexader Korda, Burgess Meredith (by marriage), David Niven, Aristotle Onassis, Erich Maria Remarque, Diego Rivera, Artie Shaw, John Steinbeck, Spencer Tracy, John Wayne, and H.G. Wells.

Goldberg, Whoopi. Bi______. Former teenaged streetwalker. Former heroin addict. Formerly involved with Ted Danson (a worse crime?). Possible involvement with Patrick Stewart. Linked with Frank Langella. Hygienically challenged. Difficult to work with.

Goldblum, Jeff. Pothead. Has let his fame go to his head, but the staff in at least one South Beach restaurant & hotel think he's wonderful. Slut. Well hung. "Major plastic surgery." Linked with Geena Davis, Kristin Davis, Laura Dern, and Lisa Marie.

Good Charlotte. "Rude, drunk egotists with anger management problems." Bisexual brothers who may be dabbling in each other. (Yuch!)

Gooding, Cuba, Jr. Gave way to temptation and cheated on his wife. Since then has found temptation quite easy to give in to. Is very nice to waitstaff.

Goodman, John. Longtime coke addict. (Say it isn't so, John!) "Very good person and very down to earth."

Gordon, Jeff. Quite rude to non-celebrities. (Although some of his fans who claim to have personal encounters with him say that he's rude only to fans who are rude to him).

Gordon, Ruth. "Very difficult and rather horrible."

Grace, Topher. Gay. Very nice to fans.

Graham, Heather. "Will sleep with anyone if it will advance her career." Coke user. About two cans short of a sixpack. Linked to Adam Ant, Drew Barrymore, Ed Burns, Russell Crowe, Benicio del Toro, Heath Ledger, Tobey Maguire, and James Woods.

Grammar, Kelsey. Drug and alcohol problems. Statutory rapist.

Grant, Cary. Difficult to work with. Tightwad. Played both sides of the fence. Linked with Mr. Blackwell, Dyan Cannon, Joan Crawford, Doris Duke, Howard Hughes, Barbara Hutton, Grace Kelly, Sophia Loren, Kim Novak, Ginger Rogers, Randolph Scott, and Mae West.

Grant, Hugh. General idiot and ninny; an Oxford grad but reportedly eight sandwiches short of a picnic basket. "Pompous wank." Bi_______. Has used hookers in the past. Linked with Sandra Bullock and Elizabeth Hurley.

Gray, Macy. Functioning heroin addict, and now back to using crack. Get your Death Pool entry for her in now; you may not have much time.

Gray, Spalding. "Is well known in the arts industry for being emotionally fragile." Reportedly unpleasant in person. Screen debut was in a hard-core porn film--as the star.

Green, Seth. "So funny, super nice and very sweet."

Gretzky, Wayne. Treats his fans very badly. Quite rude. (Although I've since gotten e-mail from a fan of his in his hometown which would suggest the opposite--maybe he changed once he went to LA?)

Grey, Jennifer. Possible Bi____. Linked with Matthew Broderick, Johnny Depp, and George Stephanopoulos--and, if rumors are true, Madonna, Sandra Bernhard, and/or Debi Mazur.

Grieco, Richard. Conceited. Rapist. Linked with Yasmine Bleeth.

Grier, David Allan. "A total asshole on-set."

Griffin, Eddie. Cokehead. "Such a disgusting pig. Made rude sexual comments to the waitstaff."

Griffin, Merv. Closeted, but still gay as an Ungaro Spring Frock. Linked to Eva Gabor.

Griffith, Melanie. Broke up Antonio Banderas' marriage, then married him herself. Is justifiably paranoid about her marriage to 'tonio. "A slow learner but an incredibly hard worker". Breast implants. Recovering drunk & drug addict. Homophobe. Formerly with Warren Beatty, Michael Douglas, Ed Harris, Don Johnson, and Ryan O'Neal.

Griffiths, Rachel. Hygienically challenged, and has developed a diva-like attitude since Six Feet Under became successful.

Grisham, John. Not just a bad writer (his popularity, like James Patterson's and Patricia Cornwall's, mystifies me and makes me despair of the American reading public) but a philandering lech as well.

Grohl, Dave. Linked to Winona Ryder, who he did not treat well at all and who he used to cheat on Louise Post of Veruca Salt.

Gumbel, Bryant. Prick. Difficult to work with. Wanton philanderer and adulterer, and treated his wife horribly before and during their divorce. Doesn't like cheese.

Guttenberg, Steve. "Very personable, very nice to his fans." "Major pothead. Is stoned out of his mind almost all of the time."

Gwynne, Fred. Apparently not gay, just manic depressive and unpleasant to work with.

Gyllenhal, Maggie. Very cute, very difficult to work with.

Haas, Lukas. Messed himself up in a big way with drugs; his career might well be over now. Linked with Natalie Portman.

Hagar, Sammy. Pinhead. Likes multiple women at the same time.

Haggard, Merle. Speed freak. Pothead. Likes threesomes, and uses hookers for same. Cheats on his wife.

Hagman, Larry. Alcoholic who is drinking himself to death.

Haim, Corey. Reputed drug addict and rent-boy. Linked with Nicole Eggert and Winona Ryder.

Halford, Rob. Out and admitting it.

Hall, Deidre (from Days of Our Lives). Very closeted lesbian.

Halliwel, Geri. L______.

Hamilton, George. "A jerk toward everyone on the set except for the unemployed male friend who came to work with him every day."

Hamilton, Linda. L_____/bisexual. "Extremely nice and personable." Linked by marriage with James Cameron; reportedly rebounded from the failure of that marriage with a stuntwoman.

Hamlin, Harry. "Hollywood's walking sperm bank." Impregnated Ursula Andress and Claudia Cardinale without benefit or marriage. Also linked with Nicolette Sheridan.

Hancock, Herbie. The nicest, sweetest man in the music business.

Hanks, Tom. A well-meaning and nice man who can and should be forgiven for Forrest Gump--although current rumors have his star status going to his head--a shame, if so. Recovering drug addict. Knocked up his first wife in college. Reportedly took the lion's share of the profits from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. "A really big tipper, although he's a bit curt to anyone who acts remotely like a fan."

Hannah, Darryl. "A 25-watt bulb in a 100-watt socket." "Addicted to pills and is so high-strung and emotional it is impossible to keep up with her...has been with many younger models." Hygienically challenged. Has a prosthetic finger/fingertip. Linked with Jackson Browne, Dodi al Fayed, John-John Kennedy, Val Kilmer, and Mickey Rourke.

Hannigan, Alyson. (Willow on Buffy) Into three-ways. Very pleasant woman, and is very well-liked on the Buffy set. Very open, and cheerily so, about her sex life; good for you, Ms. Hannigan.

Hardaway, Penny. Reportedly gay, which was why Shaq, that lack-witted chump, demanded to be traded.

Harlin, Renny. Unpleasant man, treats his women poorly (cheats on them) and his casts and crew worse. Linked with Geena Davis and Laura Dern.

Harlow, Jean. Died too soon. Had a sad life; not treated well by her husband. Linked with Max Baer, Clark Gable, Howard Hawks, Howard Hughes, William Powell, Bugsy Siegel, Jimmy Stewart, and Thomas Wolfe.

Harmon, Angie. Cokehead. "Stuck up bitch who browbeats her hubby."

Harrelson, Woody. Major pothead and general oddball (as well as bad poet). Father is a killer. Beats women. Self-described "sex addict;" has recently begun expanding his horizons (and his nether parts) in that area. Linked with Glenn Close, Carol Kane, Penelope Ann Miller, Ally Sheedy, Brooke Shields, and Moon Unit Zappa.

Harris, Ed. "Enjoys the company of hung black men from time to time." Substance abuse problems. Formerly with Melanie Griffith. Married to Amy Madigan.

Harris, Neil Patrick. FOD. Extremely nice to his fans.

Harris, Richard. Recovering drunkard; charming personality, though. Reportedly difficult to work with. Linked with Merle Oberon.

Harrison, Rex. Vain, cold, unpleasant personality; egregiously nasty. Disliked by his fellow actors & actresses. Reported to be impotent. Linked with Carole Landis, Vivien Leigh, and Merle Oberon.

Harry, Debbie. "She is the nicest, most down to earth person in the business."

Hart, Melissa Joan. "A little too controlled on set by her mother." Alcoholic. Likes to brag about her sexual encounters, which are a bit more...interesting...than anyone can imagine.

Hasselhoff, David. Was enormous in Germany at one time, but thankfully this is no longer so. Depending on who you talk to, either down-to-earth despite his success, or a raging egomaniac. Recovering alcoholic.

Hatch, Orrin. Deeply closeted gay male with a penchant for leather & rent-boys.

Hatcher, Teri. Prima donna and difficult to work with. "Abused laxatives to keep herself thin." Linked with Richard Dean Anderson and Dean Cain.

Hawke, Ethan. Hygienically challenged. Overly impressed with his own intelligence. Failed author. Cokehead. Bad tipper. Told friends and strangers, in excruciating detail, about how Uma Thurman’s private parts changed after childbirth (what a moron Hawke is). Linked with Lisa Loeb, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts & Uma Thurman, who dumped him after the extent of his cheating on her became known to her.

Hawn, Goldie. "Close to 60 and dresses like a 20-year-old hooker." Hygienically challenged. Linked with Kurt Russell; lets him cat around on her due to low self-esteem. $cientologist. Couldn't stand Bette Midler on First Wives Club set. Linked with Warren Beatty.

Hayek, Salma. Career has apparently gone to her head around fans; with coworkers she's sweet as can be (except for those on Dogma). Linked with Ben Affleck, Susanna Eng, and Ed Norton.

Hayes, Isaac. $cientologist.

Hayes, Sean. "FOD, but not at all flamboyant about it; extremely personable, nice, and friendly."

Haysbert, Dennis. "Very nice, particularly if you talk to him about other things than 24."

Hayworth, Rita. Betrayed her Latino heritage and became kept woman of and unpaid prostitute for Howard Hughes--all to stay in Hollywood and be a star. Victim of child abuse. Linked with Kirk Douglas, Glenn Ford, Aly Khan, Peter Lawford, Victor Mature, Robert Mitchum, David Niven, Tyrone Power, Anthony Quinn, James Stewart and Orson Welles (who did not treat her well).

Head, Edith. Linked with Claudette Colbert, Joan Crawford, Dolores del Rio, Marlene Dietrich, and Barbara Stanwyck, among others.

Headley, Glenn. "Aloof and as dumb and ditzy as she seems in movies."

Heard, John. Linked with Cher and Margot Kidder (with whom he's back together now, years after their six-day-long marriage). Abuser of women; accused of stalking second wife Melissa Leo, who was fired from her tv show by the network for fear of bad publicity.

Heche, Anne. L____, bi_____, hetero, who knows? Reported to have a certain difficulty with faithfulness. Reportedly got herpes from her father when he sexually abused her when she was a kid. It's still unclear whether she's insane or whether the press has overblown her mental state. Is apparently very nice to her assistants. Linked with Ellen Degeneres, Steve Martin, and Vince Vaughn.

Hefner, Hugh. Treats his live-in "girlfriends" like paid slaves. "Pops Viagra like he owns stock in the company." But he has helped poor Bettie Page out, and is making sure that she's treated well in her final years.

Henley, Don. Humorless, vain, full-of-himself prick. Hygienically challenged. Habitue' of Hollywood brothels; likes multiples. Statutory rapist and drug user; got off from consequences of overdosing a teen by spending much money.

Hepburn, Audrey. Possibly the most beautiful woman who ever lived. Deserved better from the men in her life. Anorexic. Linked with Mel Ferrer, Albert Finney, Ben Gazzara, William Holden, JFK, Gregory Peck, and Peter O'Toole.

Hepburn, Katharine. Long-running affair with Spencer Tracy, and longer-running affair with female friend. Reported to have often made use of the services of a high class pimp, requesting patrician blonds. Posed nude for pictures while in college. Also linked with Charles Boyer, John Ford, Howard Hughes (whom she had a son by), Jimmy Stewart and Spencer Tracy.

Hershey, Barbara. Had her lips surgically altered. Drug use. Kook. Linked with David Carradine.

Heston, Charlton. Right-wing gun kook. Reportedly likes young girls--and, if rumors are to be believed, young boys, too. Abuser of women. Alcoholic.

Hewitt, Jennifer Love. Very nice with fans. Home-wrecker; got involved with Scott Bairstow and messed up his marriage. Linked with Alec Baldwin, Carson Daly, Stephen Dorff, Enrique Iglesias, Joey Lawrence, Antonio Sabato Jr., and Shaggy.

Hill, Grant. Linked with Mariah Carey and Jada Pinkett.

Hill, Lauryn. Exploits her personal employees and treats them horribly. Homewrecker.

Ho, Don. "Constantly drunk. Has a ton of kids from many different women."

Hoffman, Dustin. Obsessive, conceited perfectionist. "Quite shy."

Hoffs, Susanna (of the Bangles). "Quite enthusiastic about girls." Bisexual.

Holden, William. Drunk. Linked with Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Jackie O, Stefanie Powers (who he beat), Barbara Stanwyck, and Shelley Winters.

Holliday, Billie. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead, Marlene Dietrich, Lena Horne, and Orson Welles.

Holly, Lauren. Ex-wife of Jim Carrey, and indiscreet about his sexual skills. Vain. Linked with Ben Affleck, Ed Burns, Leonardo DiCaprio, Pete Sampras, and Luke Wilson.

Holmes, Katie. "Obsessively searching for drugs to enhance and increase her orgasms." Linked with Joshua Jackson, Chris Klein, and James Van Der Beek.

Hoover, J. Edgar. Closet queen; lifelong companion of his assistant Clyde Tolson. Transvestite. Jerk. Virulent racist. Refused to take actions against American Mafia because they had pictures of him in a dress; blackmailed by CIA after Wild Bill Donovan blackbagged him in the 1930s. (As has been pointed out to me, he did oppose the internment of Japanese-Americans during WW2, so perhaps the flames of Hell burn just that much cooler for him).

Hope, Bob. "The woman-chaser. The coward. The cheap guy...he thought he was playing a character. He was playing, really, the real Bob Hope." A logistics officer in Vietnam described him as "a fraud that used the government dime to fund his shows." Another Vietnam vet who accompanied Hope had kinder words to say about him. In the weeks after his (long overdue) death, rumors began to emerge about his having been a bit too touchy-feely with men. Given to telling racist/sexist/homophobic jokes when the camera isn't running or when he's in front of soldiers.

Hopkins, Anthony. Recovering alcoholic. Reportedly into heavy S&M. Linked with Kim Basinger, Tom Cruise, and Emma Thompson.

Hopper, Dennis. Recovering drug addict. Heidi Fleiss customer. Linked with Ursula Andress, Joan Collins, Michelle Phillips, Jean Seberg, Tuesday Weld and Natalie Wood.

Horne, Lena. Lesbian. (And still a hottie). Linked to Ava Gardner, Marlene Dietrich, Billie Holiday, Joe Louis and Marilyn Monroe.

Houston, Whitney. Shrill and unpleasant. Hygienically challenged. Was notoriously, infamously unpleasant and hard to work with on the set of Waiting To Exhale. Closeted L_____; married to Bobby Brown, and almost deserves such a fate. Battered wife. Alcoholic and drug abuser. Breast implants. Linked to Enrique Iglesias, Robert De Niro and Kelly McGillis.

Howard, Leslie. Almost as big a swordsman as Gary Cooper, which is saying something.

Howard, Ron. "Very nice; he is Opie/Richie Cunningham in real life."

Hu, Kelly. "Not particularly bright."

Hudson, Kate. "A nut. While growing up Goldie treated her as a peer instead of as a daughter and Kate is bizarre and aimless, will do anything for a good time, drugs, sex, etc. She is bisexual, her husband Chris Robinson actually encourages her to have sex with other women even when he isn't around." Was Yoko Ono in the break-up of the Black Crowes.

Hudson, Rock. Friend Of Dorothy. Reportedly had a long-time relationship with Jim Nabors. Abused by his parents. Linked with Wally Cox, Joan Crawford, James Dean, Elizabeth Taylor and Mamie Van Doren.

Hughes, Howard. Corrupt, evil man who hated everything and everybody; grew insanely concerned about germs later in life, reportedly due to encroaching syphilis. Kept numerous homes for starlets he'd use and cast aside. Often impotent with women; had to have them pretend to be men for him to be aroused. Had Rita Hayworth as a kept woman and pimped her around in exchange for favors. Linked with Bette Davis, Yvonne de Carlo, Olivia De Havilland, Marlene Dietrich, Faith Domergue (when she was 15), Errol Flynn, Ava Gardner, Paulette Goddard, Cary Grant, Jean Harlow, Katharine Hepburn, Barbara Hutton, Hedy Lamarr, Carole Lombard, Ida Lupino, Marilyn Monroe, Jean Peters, Tryone Power, Ginger Rogers, Randolph Scott, Norma Shearer, Gene Tierney, Lana Turner, Gloria Vanderbilt, and Shelley Winters.

Hulce, Tom. FOD.

Hunt, Bonnie. "Funny, pretty, and a great sense of humor."

Hunt, Helen. "Cold as ice."Closeted L_____ or Bisexual. Notoriously cheap, and unpleasant to her staff. Linked with Gillian Anderson, Hank Azaria, Matthew Broderick, Melissa Etheridge, and Kevin Spacey.

Hunt, Linda. L_____. Very nice to fans.

Hunter, Rachel. Vain; recovering (current?) heroin addict. Linked with Leonardo DiCaprio, Liam Gallagher, Mark McGrath, Rod Stewart (failed marriage), Mark Wahlberg, and Robbie Williams.

Hunter, Tab. Open FOD. Linked with Johnny Mathis, Anthony Perkins & Natalie Wood.

Hurley, Elizabeth. Strike-breaking scab. Just possibly might have some problems with faithfulness. May be a dominatrix type. B_______. Has bad skin and her years of not working out and not taking care of her body are catching up with her. Enjoys three-ways. Linked with Bill Clinton, Hugh Grant, Denis Leary,Steve Nash, Matthew Perry and Tom Sizemore.

Hurt, John. Reportedly a FOD.

Hurt, William. Dreadfully unpleasant man. Long record of mistreating women. Stingy; drunkard. Formerly with Glenn Close, Mary Beth Hurt, Marlee Matlin, and Sandrine Bonnaire. Possibly playing for the home team now.

Huston, Anjelica. Formerly with Jack Nicholson & Ryan O'Neal. Acts horribly toward her hired help.

Huston, John. "The character he played in Chinatown was John Huston." Could be charming, though; raised his ex-wife's illegitimate daughter as his own. Rumored to have been into misogynistic orgies and worse. Crackpot. Linked with Mary Astor, Truman Capote, Olivia De Havilland, Ava Gardner, Paulette Goddard, and Marilyn Monroe.

Hutton, Lauren. L______.

Hutton, Timothy. Regular with certain Hollywood prostitutes; Hutton enjoys the occasional menage a trois with them. Linked with Patti Davis, Angelina Jolie, Diane Lane, Mary Louis Parker, Uma Thurman, and Debra Winger.

Hyman, Earle. "Warm and friendly and gracious." Open about his preference for young (early 20s) white men.

Hynde, Chrissy. "Good to her staff and extremely loyal." Linked with Ray Davies & Jim Kerr (was married to him)

Idle, Eric (of Monty Python fame). "Unpleasant egomaniac. Brown-noser. Known to treat people like gold until he gets what he wants from them. Personally responsible for the financial ruin of former best friend and ex-Rutle Neil Innes. When he was in Monty Python, he was the only member of the five who wrote bits by himself, instead of with one of the others, because he couldn't get along with any of them. To his credit, he openly admits that he's not a nice person."

Idol, Billy. "Funny, very nice." Regular customer with Heidi Fleiss.

Imbruglia, Natalie. Linked with Daniel Johns (of Silverchair), Lenny Kravitz, and David Schwimmer.

Igelsias, Enrique. FOD, or perhaps Bi______. Grabby and gropey. Linked with Christina Aguilera, Whitney Houston, Anna Kournikova, and Justin Timberlake (woof!).

Igelsias, Julio. Slut; given to boasting about his conquests. Jealous of his son's success. Linked with Diana Ross.

Irons, Jeremy. Is apparently somewhat well-known for giving notes to his co-workers on how they should act. Linked with Glenn Close.

Irving, Amy. Divorced from Steven Spielberg; cheated on him with Willie Nelson.

Isaak, Chris. Has a thing for Asian women. Various gay rumors and ones of...er...well, let's just say bad ones which I really don't want to believe. (Not my Chris! Nooooo!). Linked with Margaret Cho (who says he's great in bed), Sheryl Crow, Kristin Dattilo, Minnie Driver, & Winona Ryder.

Jackman, Hugh. mmmmMM! Very nice guy, humble and faithful to his wife. (Although, sad to say, I'm hearing rumors that pre-marriage he was a bed-hopping slut. *sigh*) (I've also heard the opposite, which I'd much prefer to be true). Possibly a little too friendly with John Travolta. (NOOOO!) Current word in NYC is that Hugh is discreetly shagging his 24 year old male assistant, though I've had some Broadway types tell me that he's just queer-friendly and a fag-stag.

Jackson, Janet. Bi______ with an insatiable sexual appetite. Breast implants. Reportedly mentally & emotionally unstable; abused/neglected as a child, which might explain that. Multiple rumored pregnancies and one child by former husband De Barge who she refuses to admit to. Very much the diva. Has herpes. Size queen. Linked with Paula Abdul, Matthew McConaughey, Robert De Niro, Justin Timberlake, and Q-Tip.

Jackson, Joshua. Saved three women from drowning. Arrested for assaulting a security guard while drunk. Linked with Rosario Dawson, Brittany Daniel and Katie Holmes.

Jackson, Kate. Difficult to work with. Unlucky in love. Linked with Edward Albert.

Jackson, Michael. Pedophile. Former Jehovah's Witness. General freak. Has had numerous operations on his face. Over 40 years old (same age as Prince, BION) and so can no longer blame his many problems on his messed-up childhood. Paid $150K to a witch doctor to put a curse on Steven Spielberg. Strange relationships with Macauley Culkin, Corey Feldman, Emmanuel Lewis, Tatum O'Neal, Lisa Marie Presley, Diana Ross, Elizabeth Taylor, and his ex-wife, who he never lived with and who got pregnant from him via artificial insemination.

Jackson, Reggie. Gay or Bi______.

Jackson, Samuel L. Recovering drug addict. Is rumored to have occasionally made use of escort services in NYC. Male escort services.

Jagger, Bianca. Failed marriage to Mick Jagger. Linked with Warren Beatty, Bjorn Borg, David Bowie, Michael Caine, Senator Chris Dodd, Billy Joel, Ryan O'Neal, Maximilien Schell, Sen. Bob Torricelli, and Mort Zuckerman.

Jagger, Mick. Former drug user. Stingy. Regular customer of Heidi Fleiss. Bisexual & reportedly linked with David Bowie. Marriages to Jerry Hall & Bianca Jagger. Recent liaison with Minnie Driver; formerly linked with Brigitte Bardot, Eric Clapton, Pamela Des Barres, Janice Dickinson, Tom Driberg, Marianne Faithfull, Allen Ginsberg, Jerry Hall, Brian Jones, Astrid Lindstrom, Madonna, Princess Margaret, Rudolf Nureyev, Mackenzie Phillips, Linda Rondstadt, Carly Simon, Rod Stewart, Uma Thurman, Margaret Trudeau, and Andy Warhol.

Jay-Z. Bi______. Nice guy. Reported to be HIV+. Linked with Beyonce.

Jeter, Derek. Slut. Acts very rudely to ordinary people. "Sleeps around A LOT." His behavior after the Yankees acquired A-Rod just shows what a colossal ego Jeter has. "He's not afraid of one-night stands, especially with college-age females." "Loves skanky Latino girls." "Seems to leave all his endurance on the field, if you know what I mean." Linked with Jordana Brewster, Mariah Carey (although I got one e-mail which claimed that Jeter memorably rejected her, to the degree that "to jeter" has become a verb. Couldn't happen to a nicer girl), and MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo.

Jett, Joan. Open L______. "Very nice and down to earth."

Jewel. Extremely self-important and condescending. (I have received reports of better behavior recently). Embarassingly bad poetaster. Linked with Jean Claude van Damme & Sean Penn.

Jillian, Ann. A very nice woman.

Joel, Billy. Recovering addict and current drunk. Linked with Christie Brinkley, Bianca Jagger, and Elle Macpherson.

John, Elton. Openly gay. Recovering drug & alcohol addict. "His tantrums are legendary." Linked with Eminem (hard to believe, I know).

Johnson, Don. Unpleasant, conceited personality (From e-mail: "'Raging asshole' is closer to the truth"). Former and most likely current drunkard and drug addict; reportedly introduced Jasmine Beeth to coke. Hygienically challenged. Has made use of hookers in the past. Linked with his teen co-star--not his first case of statutory rape, either. Has been seen shopping for sex toys with a male companion. Given to groping women. Money launderer. Linked with Patti D'Arbanville, Pamela Des Barres, Jasmine Bleeth, Melanie Griffith, Penelope Ann Miller, Sal Mineo, Babs Streisand, and Uma Thurman.

Johnson, Lyndon Baines. "He would screw anything that would crawl." Hired beautiful "secretaries" while President just to have someone to regularly shtup; had one of his aides pimp pretty women seen in crowds for him. Used the power of the Presidency to enrich himself. Actually enjoyed getting under people's skin.

Johnson, Magic. Slut. Pathologically cheated and cheats on his wife. Continues to sleep (sans protection) with random women even after developing AIDS.

Jolie, Angelina. Deadbeat. B_______. "Tempestuous." "Earning herself a reputation as a homewrecker." Likes to cut herself before sex. Drug user. When not in a relationship, will make do with her male friends. Linked with Antonio Banderas, Nicholas Cage, Colin Farrell, Ethan Hawke, Timothy Hutton, Jenni Shimizu, Kiefer Sutherland, Billy Bob Thornton, and her own brother (!!!).

Jones, Catherine Zeta. "Insecure, vain, clingy and whiny." A little too impressed with herself. Lies about her age; is actually 10 years older than she claims (or perhaps not--this is disputed). "She's a selfish, immature bitch. She tips 10% on the nose." "A walking nightmare" to work with. Drinking problem. Linked with Sean Connery and Michael Douglas (yuch!).

Jones, Davy. A nice guy. A doper, too.

Jones, James Earl. "Just the best. A good man. Devoted to his family and always willing to help out the community."

Jones, Jeffrey. Likes young teenaged boys.

Jones, Jenny. A tyrant to her crew. "Insanely rude. Her guests were treated insufferably."

Jones, Norah. "An absolute sweetheart to work for."

Jones, Quincy. Bi______. Linked with Naomi Campbell and Nastassja Kinski.

Jones, Tom. B_______. Reportedly raped Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson. Linked with Mary Wilson (of the Supremes).

Jones, Tommy Lee. Depending on who you talk to, just a good old Texas boy, or a raging prick. Despite public proclamations to the contrary he did not (reportedly) get along with Will Smith on the set of Men in Black, which makes it seem like the latter and not the former is the truth. Reportedly obsessed with fashion models.

Joplin, Janis. May have played both sides of the field. Linked with Bill Bennett (!), Dick Cavett (!), Eric Clapton, Kris Kristofferson, Jim Morrison, Joe Namath, and Peter Tork.

Jordan, Michael. "He's a big ole ho!" Obsessively competitive, to a disturbing degree. Compulsive gambler. Philanderer and regular at strip clubs. Well hung. Likes white girls. Has a safe house in Chicago for his women. Linked with Robin Givens, Vanessa Williams, and various porn stars (including Kylie Ireland).

Jovi, Jon Bon. Vain about the number of his sexual conquests and about his sexual ability (which is only average). Linked with Helena Christensen and Diane Lane.

Jovovich, Milla. Linked with Paul Thomas Anderson, Luc Besson (by failed marriage) & Bruce Willis.

Judd, Ashley. "A cold fish." Hypocrite who slept with anyone she thought would advance her career. Heavily surgically augmented; "gobbles more antidepressants than you can imagine." Neglects her pets. (Though I've received a few e-mails from her fans and friends which mention how kind and sweet she is.) Treated the staff of at least one hotel in an "unnecessarily incredibly evil" fashion. Deliberately (?) humiliated Jason Patric in front of Matt Lauer and the watching audience. Linked with Michael Bolton, Jim Carrey, Dario Franchitti, Robert De Niro, and Matthew McConaughey. Tends to be with her costars.

Judd, Wynona. Switch-hitter.

Kahn, Madeline. "Very sweet and quiet."

Kaye, Danny. FOD. Linked with Shirley Maclaine, Princess Margaret, and Laurence Olivier (with whom he had a long-time fling).

Kazan, Lainie. Order: Lesbian. Family: closeted.

Keaton, Diane. "Very nice and professional." Linked with Woody Allen, Warren Beatty, Albert Finney, Steve Martin, Jack Nicholson (urgh, vomit!), and Al Pacino.

Keaton, Michael. Has a temper. Linked with Kim Basinger, Courtney Cox, and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Keenan, Pepper (Corrosion of Conformity/Down). Can be rude to their fans.

Keillor, Garrison. Rumored to enjoy being dominated. By professionals.

Keitel, Harvey. Cheated on his pregnant wife and wouldn't see his son until six months after he was born. Has made use of hookers in the past. Linked with Lorraine Braco and Andie Macdowell.

Kelley, David E. Vain. Has done a good job of peddling a quite ludicrous set of exploitive and pandering story lines via his television shows; when religious fundamentalists blame the U.S. for depraving the world, David E. Kelley shows, along with the unspeakable Dawson's Creek, are what they are thinking of. His devotion to casting and bedding women who look like his wife, Michelle Pfeiffer is more than a little nasty; Calista Flockhart is one of the poor women who had to put up with his no-doubt reptilian touch. Used the casting couch to bed Gina Gershon, who is entirely too good for Kelley. Overall, the man has a serious case of the ick.

Kelly, Gene. Jerk, and reportedly a FOD. Sent money to the IRA.

Kelly, Grace. "Sexual tyrannosaurus." Rumored to be a drunk and anti-Semite. Once shared an apartment with another woman--a one-bedroom, one-bed apartment. Linked with Jean-Pierre Aumont, Oleg Cassini, Gary Cooper, Bing Crosby, Clark Gable, Cary Grant, William Holden, Aly Khan, Ray Milland, David Niven, Prince Rainier (in a very unhappy marriage), Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, Frank Sinatra, Jimmy Stewart, and Spencer Tracy.

Kelly, R. Had an affair with Aaliyah when she was only 15. Is into three-ways and sex with underage women. Collects child porn. "Into water sports." Putz. "Loves to toss that salad."

Kennedy, John F. Cheated on Jackie with anything that came within 50 feet of him. Bad in bed. Poorly endowed. Typical Kennedy (read: schmuck) when it came to women. Linked with Joan Crawford, Angie Dickinson, Marlene Dietrich, Judy Exner (who was also a Mafia man's woman), Zsa Zsa Gabor, Sonja Henie, Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Loren, Jayne Mansfield, Marilyn Monroe, Lee Remick, Norma Shearer, Blaze Starr, and Gene Tierney.

Kennedy, John F, Jr (John-John). May have played for the home team while at Brown. Drug user at least while in college. Linked with Daryl Hannah, Madonna, Christine Onassis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brooke Shields, and Xuxa.

Kennedy, Joseph P. Father to JFK. Fascist. Nazi sympathizer. Bootlegger. Fixer of elections. Cheated on long-suffering wife with Marion Davies, Marlene Dietrich, Greta Garbo, and Gloria Swanson.

Kennedy, Robert F. Linked with Candice Bergen, Jayne Mansfield, Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak, and Rudolf Nureyev (in a phone both, of all places).

Kennedy, Ted. Drunkard. Failed marriage behind him. Rampant horndog. Killed a woman in accident and tried to cover it up. One of Washington's biggest sluts.

Kensit, Patsy. Linked with Jim Kerr and Liam Gallagher.

Kerr, Jim. Linked with Chrissie Hynde (by marriage) & Patsy Kensit.

Kerry, Senator John. Playa in his younger days. Linked with Dana Delaney, Morgan Fairchild, Catherine Oxenburg, and Michelle Phillips.

Keys, Alicia. There's a bright light shining here--through both her ears, unimpeded by grey matter. Mysteriously overrated as a musician; professional musicians sneer (when they're being kind) at her piano playing and arrangements. Enjoys many casual relationships with men rather than a few committed ones. Bisexual. Was fired from 25th Hour after only 2 weeks because she was so awful. Linked with Christina Aguilera.

Kidd, Jason. Wife beater (yes, still), and spreader of herpes to groupies.

Kidman, Nicole. Acted the beard for Tom Cruise. L______. Not a $cientologist--no, really! Temperamental; difficult to work with. Regular at certain L.A. girl bars. Forces her gay lovers to sign lengthy non-disclosure contracts before she gets involved with them. Is generally seen to have been the victim in the break-up of her marriage with Tom Cruise. The divorce reportedly was caused partially by Cruise's insistence on raising the kids $cientologist (she wanted them raised Catholic) and partially because of her pregnancy, which may have been his and may have been Ewan McGregor's. Recently rumors have begun to circulate in my direction that the relationship with Cruise broke up because of Kidman's serial infidelity. Ate up the entire promotional budget at Cannes for Dogville by staying at the Hotel du Cap, so no party, no promotional items, nothing, all because Nicole had to stay at the best suite (one correspondent insisted that this was the fault of the studio & that Kidman gave better PR than a party would have). Bulemic. Linked with Ben Affleck, Jim Carrey, Russell Crowe, Vin Diesel, Iain Glen, Lenny Kravitz, Jude Law, Tobey Maguire, Ewan McGregor, Q-Tip, Naomi Watts (any chnce you've got room in there for another girl? Please?) and Robbie Williams.

Kilborn, Craig. Empty-headed, arrogant, smug, sexually-harassing asshole. Refuses to admit he has a child by a black woman.

Kilmer, Val. B_______. Reportedly very hard to work with; also rumored to have a problem with violence. Conceited, and unpleasant to his personal assistants. (Although, to be fair, I'm told that he has mellowed out considerably in the past couple of years and is no longer the enfant terrible of Hollywood legend). Mooches food off of other people's plates. Linked with Cher, Ellen Barkin, Drew Barrymore, Neve Campbell, Cindy Crawford (merkin duty), Darryl Hannah, Michelle Pfeiffer, Elizabeth Shue, Mira Sorvino, Joanne Whalley (he reportedly beat her), and Mare Winningham.

King, Larry. General creep; lousy in relationships, hygienically challenged and ignorant of politesse, manners, and common courtesy. "A real jerk. Full of himself and talks down to others." Likes much younger women. Linked with Angie Dickinson.

King, Stephen. Recovering drug and alcohol addict.

Kinski, Nastassja. Recovering alcoholic. Linked with Dean Cain, Gerard Depardieu, Milos Forman, Quincy Jones, Rob Lowe, Marcello Mastroianni, Dudley Moore, Roman Polanski (when she was 16), Jon Voight, and Wim Wenders.

Kirk, Tommy. Closeted for years, now out. Recovering drug addict.

Kissinger, Henry. Sycophant to kings and presidents; is a corrupt, vain, amoral and oily would-be Richilieu on whose hands are the blood of millions. Humanity is the poorer for having produced such as he. Linked with Candice Bergen, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Shirley Maclaine, Jill St. John, Marlo Thomas, and Liv Ullman.

Klein, Calvin. HIV+.

Kleiser, Randal. FOD. Very nice man.

Kline, Kevin. "Sarcastic and demanding. Can come across as a prick if you catch him in the wrong mood." Reportedly has had at least one same-sex affair. Linked with Phoebe Cates (his wife of 10+ years), Glenn Close, Sally Field, Mary Beth Hurt, Patti LuPone, Gilda Radner, Linda Ronstadt, and Meryl Streep.

Kmetko, Steve. Vain. Admitted FOD. Linked with Greg Louganis.

Knievel, Evel. Has turned into a bitter old crank in his old age. "True, but he's an excellent tipper and is very nice to fans, especially little kids who approach him while he's eating.

Knightly, Kiera. "Stone cold bitch."

Knotts, Don. A very nice man.

Knoxville, Johnny. Pothead.

Koufax, Sandy. Gay.

Krauss, Alison. "Lovely person, great singer, exceedingly normal."

Kravitz, Lenny. Bi______. Hygienically challenged. Linked with Lisa Bonet (his ex-wife), Naomi Campbell, Susanna Eng, Gina Gershon, Kate Hudson, Natalie Imbruglia, Nicole Kidman (for whom he acts the merkin), Madonna, Kate Moss, Kylie Minogue, Vanessa Paradis, and Robyn.

Kristofferson, Kris. Pothead and recovering alcoholic. Linked with Rita Coolidge, Janis Joplin, Carly Simon, and Babs Streisand.

Kubrick, Stanley. Self-hating Jew; a "tyrannical taskmaster" and an overrated filmmaker.

Kulp, Nancy (Miss Hathaway on Beverly Hillbillies). Bisexual.

Kuralt, Charles. Simultaneously kept a wife in NYC and a mistress in Montana who he'd visit while on the road.

Kutcher, Ashton. "Spoiled brat." Many rumors about his acting badly to fans, cast and crew of That 70s Show. Slut. Cokehead. Hygienically challenged. Drank with (and possibly smoked reefer with) the Bush twins while they were still underage. Linked with Demi Moore (which is reported to be a PR stunt), Brittany Murphy, and Tara Reid.

LaBelle, Patti. Lesbian.

Ladd, Alan. Died of an "accidental" overdose of alcohol and sedatives.

Lake, Veronica. Schizophrenic and drunkard. Had a well-earned reputation for being very unprofessional. Linked with Milton Berle, Victor Mature, Joe McCarthy, Ari Onassis, and Porfirio Rubirosa.

Lamarr, Hedy.  Very intelligent woman. Linked with Jean-Pierre Aumont, Charles Boyer, Johnny Carson, Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, John Garfield, Stewart Granger, Howard Hughes, Burgess Meredith, David Niven, Otto Preminger, George Sanders, and Rudy Vallee, and at least one same-sex affair.

Lancaster, Burt. Bisexual. Difficult to work with. Drunkard. Linked with Marlene Dietrich & Shelley Winters.

Lanchester, Elsa. Bisexual; beard for Charles Laughton.

Landers, Ann. She and her sister gave their all for the troops on leave during WW2. Sometimes they gave their all at the same time, in the same room, with two different men.

Landis, Carole. Committed suicide because of Rex Harrison, with whom she was linked.

Landon, Michael. Pious, sanctimonious hypocrite. Philandering boozebag.

Lane, Diane. Linked with Christopher Atkins, Bon Jovi, Josh Brolin, Timothy Hutton, and Christopher Lambert.

Lane, Nathan. FOD. Linked with Matthew Broderick.

Lang, KD. Openly gay. Linked with Ellen Degeneres.

Lange, Jessica. In failing relationship with Sam Shepard; also linked to Mikhail Baryshnikov, Bob Fosse, and Jack Nicholson.

Langella, Frank. "Out of his mind and MUST SEDUCE EVERYONE ALWAYS."

Lansbury, Angela. "One of the nicest and most genuine women in Hollywood." "More than a little bitter that she didn't become a bigger star than she did." Linked with Elvis Presley.

LaSalle, Eriq. Prima donna.

Lauer, Matt. Quintessential talking head--and not in a good way. Has a problem with flatulence due to excessive intake of Vitamin C. May have used coke in the past.

Laughton, Charles. Closeted Friend of Dorothy. Unhappy man.

Lauper, Cyndi. "Insane, crazy bitch, possibly bipolar."

Lavigne, Avril. "Australia had to endure a week with this rude, self centred, difficult, untalented mini diva recently. Was rude and indifferent to fans, sang off key in concert (in one can call her performance that) and just did not want to be here. Gave the press a very hard time. Minders and local publicists all relieved to see this major mini princess leave our shores. Totally packaged... not one tiny bit authentic." "More contrived than Britney was." Not nearly so virginal and chaste as she appears, and may be acquainted with refreshment of the rock and ganj variety.

Law, Jude. "Deeply in the closet. Linked with Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, Kate Moss, and Natalie Portman.

Lawford, Peter. Drunk. Drug user. Acted as panderer for JFK. Raised as a girl until the age of 9; abused as a child by his nanny. Linked with Lucille Ball, Dorothy Dandridge, Ava Gardner, Judy Garland, Rita Hayworth, Kim Novak, Nancy Davis Reagan, Elizabeth Taylor and Lana Turner.

Lawler, Jerry. "Super nice to his fans."

Lawrence, Martin. Unpleasant personality. Sexually harassed female costar of his show. Given to very public bursts of insanity. Statutory rapist; violated the Mann Act. Diva who thinks he's above petty things like rehearsals.

Lawrence, T. E. (You know, "of Arabia.") Enjoyed being whipped with a birch. Rumored to be gay, if deeply repressed.

Leachman, Cloris. "THE most vile and unpleasant person in Hollywood."

Leary, Timothy. Hygienically challenged and likely driven insane from his drug use.

LeBlanc, Matt. Closeted Friend of Dorothy. Rude and a jerk.

LeBrock, Kelly. Linked with Janice Dickinson, Steven Seagal, and Rod Stewart (Lord, if I'd gone out with the latter two I'd be a lesbian, too)

Ledger, Heath. Hard to work with. Linked to Kirsten Dunst, Heather Graham, Tara Reid, and Naomi Watts.

Lee, Christopher. "A complete and total gentleman, down-to-earth and very gracious."

Lee, Jason. $cientologist.

Lee, Spike. Habitual philanderer. His considerable talents are dwarfed by his ego.

Lee, Tommy. Hygienically challenged ex-husband of Pamela Anderson Silicone. Wouldn't score 700 on the SATs and probably couldn't spell his last name without assistance. Also linked with Naomi Campbell, Carmen Electra, Heather Locklear, and Pink. Abuser of women.

LeGuin, Ursula K. Bisexual.

Leigh, Vivien. Manic depressive; towards the end of her life, was acting out "nymphomaniacal tendencies" with any number of men. Linked with Jean-Pierre Aumont, Warren Beatty, Peter Finch, Rex Harrison, Sir Alexander Korda, and Laurence Olivier.

Lennon, John. Physically abusive and unfaithful to his women.

Lennon, Julian. Drug user/abuser.

Leno, Jay. Into bondage. Buffoon. Linked with Sandra Bernhard.

Leoni, Tea. Married to David Duchovny. Pothead. Got costars thrown off her tv show because they took attention away from her. Likes to dress up in her sexplay with Duchovny.

Leto, Jared. Bisexual, and happy to be playing the field. Linked with Cameron Diaz, Colin Farrell, and Britney Spears.

Letterman, David. Astoundingly insecure and neurotic; major self-esteem issues. Relax, David, we all love you! Besides, anyone with any sense can see that Leno is a suck-up and a schmuck. Dave, you're the man.

Levine, James. Child molester.

Levinson, Barry. FOD.

Levy, Eugene. "For being a comic actor he sure isn't funny or fun in person. Very serious in a standoffish and rude sort of way." "I've worked with Eugene on several films. He's always been incredibly nice to me, and very thoughtful. It's true, he's quiet, but he's a decent, hardworking guy."

Lewis, Daniel Day. Formerly with Isabelle Adjani--broke up with her by fax (what a jerk). Vain and "eccentric." Reported drug user. Philanderer. Linked with Rebecca Miller, Sinead O'Connor, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, and Greta Scacchi.

Lewis, Emmanuel. Very friendly, very cool.

Lewis, Jerry. Pompous, arrogant exploiter of diseased children. Can't understand why his film about a clown in a Nazi death camp is in bad taste. Never graduated from high school. Difficult to work with. Sexist. Percodan addict. Linked with Stella Stevens.

Lewis, Juliette. $cientologist. Looks hygienically challenged, even if she isn't really. A bit touched in the head. Heroine addict. Linked with Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, and Brad Pitt.

Lewis, Richard. Hooked on phone sex.

LFO. Flying the queer flag high.

Liddy, G. Gordon. Flunky to Nixon. Convicted criminal. Cheerfully amoral.

Lil Kim. Might not be the biggest diva on Earth, but she tries harder. Closeted L______. Running tightly drawn neck and tightly drawn neck with Cher for most plastic surgery. Sold herself before she made it big: "She had to give Diddy a turn a few times in order for some career help." Linked with Christina Aguilera, Pamela Anderson, P. Diddy, and Queen Latifah.

Limbaugh, Rush. Conceited, morally bankrupt fascist. Divorced several times. Draft dodger. Long record of not voting, despite his political views. Allegedly busted, while in Pittsburgh, in a spot known as a pickup area for gay men around the University of Pittsburgh. Recovering drug addict (prescription pills and painkillers which he purchased illegally). Blustering buffoon on the air, very socially awkward and shy off the air.

Liotta, Ray. Helped break up Mark Grace's marriage by luring his wife away from him. Has paid for sex in the past "and demands that the girl bring coke with her." "Very friendly...talkative and humble. Very cool" to at least one person who helped him. Acted very badly during the filming of Forever Mine, however.

Lithgow, John. Reportedly a very nice man, although when I was a wee lass, he'd beat me up on the way to school, take my lunch money, stick my head down the school toilet, snap my bra and snicker-snag on me. No, really!

Liu, Lucy. Has apparently let her fifteen minutes go to her head. Hard to work with. Linked with George Clooney and Matt Damon.

LL Cool J. Porn addict. Bi______. Has dated at least one transsexual. Linked with Tyson Beckford and Russell Simmons.

Lloyd, Emily. Suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Lockhart, June. Still enjoys chasing those younger men.

Locklear, Heather. Reportedly a former big-time drug dealer. Married to Richie Sambora. Linked with Scott Baio, Tom Cruise, Mark Harmon, and Tommy Lee (who may have given her herpes).

Lohan, Lindsay. "A sweet girl whose current and recent success have her trying to grow up a little too fast."

Loken, Kristanna (Terminator 3). Lesbian. (If you're ever in the Northeast, look me up!) Linked with Pink.

Lombard, Carole. Linked with Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, John Gilbert, Howard Hughes, David Niven, William Powell, Anthony Quinn, George Raft, Cesar Romero, David O. Selznick, and Preston Sturges.

Long, Shelley. Difficult to work with. Doesn't like to read big books because her lips get tired.

Lopez, Jennifer. "The bitchiest girl in showbiz." "Hollywood's loudest, tackiest joke." Likes to tell people what to eat, and orders for those who have lunch with her. Just unbelievably rude to anyone who she can't make use of. One of the most widely disliked women in Hollywood. Lies when she says that she has no pre-show demands (although I've gotten one e-mail claiming that it was her manager, not JLo, who had all the pre-show demands). Linked with Ben Affleck (who she does not treat well, including mocking him to his face) (admittedly something most of us want to do, but still....), P. Diddy, and Ralph Fiennes.

Lords, Traci. Many accounts of her being a bitch to fans.

Loren, Sophia. Had at least one same-sex affair. (Lucky whoever it was!) Linked with Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, JFK, Marcello Mastroianni, Peter Sellers, and Omar Sharif.

Louganis, Greg. Openly gay. Linked with Steve Kmetko.

Louise, Tina. Reportedly exchanging sex for the money of rich older men. "Rude and condescending to waiters."

Love, Courtney. Bisexual. Widow of Kurt Cobain. Teen stripper. Breast implants (since removed). Several cosmetic surgeries, including four tummy tucks as well as extensive facial work. Given to revealing skin during her live shows. Former drug user; may still be overusing prescription drugs and alcohol and even the harder stuff. Can be hard to work with. Can be even harder to work for; reportedly doesn't pay her personal staff and then fires them. Reportedly linked to Drew Barrymore (with whom she shared men, according to Barrymore), Jim Carrey (Courtney, what were you thinking?), Billy Corgan (either while Kurt was still alive or before she met Kurt--accounts differ), Russell Crowe, Evan Dando, Ed Norton (in what was possibly a PR set-up), Trent Reznor (who she stalked and harassed after their relationship ended), Paul Rudd, Winona Ryder, and Scott Weiland.

Lovett, Lyle. "Big tipper." Linked with Julia Robers.

Lowe, Chad. Recovering drug addict. Gay.

Lowe, Rob. Caught on tape enjoying favors of an underage girl in the company of another man. Slut. Never graduated from high school; couldn't tell you who's buried in Grant's Tomb. Has acquired a well-earned diva reputation on the set of West Wing. Good with his fans, though. Linked with Jane Fonda, Jodie Foster (merkin duty), Melissa Gilbert, Fawn Hall, Nastassja Kinski, Demi Moore, Ally Sheedy, and Princess Stephanie.

Loy, Myrna. Bisexual. Linked with William Powell.

Lucci, Susan. "Very down to earth and sweet."

Lugosi, Bela. Drug addict towards the end of his life.

Luscious Jackson. On occasion acted like complete assholes.

Lynch, David. Alien. Linked with Joan Chen and Isabella Rossellini, who he did not treat well.

Lynde, Paul. Unfortunately, not the adorable old queen I thought he was, but rather a foul drink and drug user who frequented seedy sex clubs and made use of rent boys. Was responsible for the death of a "young man" who fell from Lynde's hotel room. A racist.

Lyonne, Natasha. Drug user. Enjoys men, many and often. (Some of the sisters have objected, saying that she prefers women). "Totally hard to work with. Mean to makeup artists." Linked with Edward Furlong.

Macdonald, Norm. Gambling problem. Alcohol/drug problem. It might be an act, or he might really be a stupid prick. Linked with Helena Christensen.

Macdowell, Andie. The light's on upstairs, but nobody's home. Possibly mildly retarded. Seems to have an aversion, in private life, to wearing any clothes. Recovering drug addict. Some folks who attend the same church that she does think she's a bitch; supposedly when her children did not get the lead in the church's pageant she "flipped and chewed out the clergy." And I've received some comments about her very bad attitude toward the locals. Linked with Harvey Keitel and Dennis Quaid.

MacGraw, Ali. Claims to be a recovering sex addict. Linked with Salvador Dali, Robert Evans, Steve McQueen, Ryan O'Neal, and Peter Weller.

MacLachlan, Kyle. Nice to his fans. Rumored to be well-hung. Linked with Lara Flynn Boyle, Laura Dern, and Linda Evangelista.

Maclaine, Shirley. General kook. Highly obnoxious. Very stingy and not friendly to the public. Bi______. Linked with Alain Delon, Elton John, Danny Kaye, Henry Kissinger, Robert Mitchum, Yves Montand, Frank Sinatra, and Kenneth Tynan.

Macpherson, Elle. Former coke addict. Linked with Kevin Costner, Billy Joel & Sean Penn.

Madden, John. "A belligerent buffoon."

Madonna. Switch-hitter. Hygienically challenged. Penny-pincher. Hired many of Heidi Fleiss' people for her own purposes. Size queen. Openly lusted for but never got Antonio Banderas. "Still takes the time and even goes out of her way in 2003 to still take the time out of her busy day to be a mean spirited bitch to all who work around her." Linked with Christina Aguilera, Warren Beatty, Sandra Bernhard, Bobby Brown, Gabriel Byrne, Willem Dafoe, D'angelo, Mick Jagger, John-John Kennedy, Lenny Kravitz, Kelly McGillis, Mark Messier, Jack Nicholson, Sean Penn, Prince, Dennis Rodman, and Henry Rollins, and possibly Jennifer Grey and/or Debi Mazur; currently with Guy Ritchie, who certainly married up.

Madsen, Virginia. Playa. "A bit of a diva." Linked with Antonio Sabato.

Maguire, Tobey. FOD or Bi______. A very sweet, regular guy (although if rumor is true about his being a part of Leo DiCaprio's "Pussy Posse," dedicated to hooking up with women for one-night-stands, I have to question just how nice a guy he really is). Is an AA member, poor guy, and is reported to have problems not just with alcohol but also coke and heroin; supposedly the "back injury" which almost kept him from doing Spider-Man 2 was addiction. Linked with Leo Dicaprio, Kirsten Dunst, Heather Graham, Nicole Kidman, and Demi Moore.

Maher, Bill. Incredible horndog; would diddle the alligators if they drained the pond. Masturbates before every taping of his tv show; has it written into his contract that the producers must give him 15 minutes to do so. Rumored not to be a very nice person.

Mahoney, John. FOD. "Great person. Very genuine and real."

Majors, Lee. "The six million dollar homosexual."

Malden, Karl. Confirmed user of rentboys.

Malkovich, John. Reportedly a prick & a "pompous gaseous windbag." (One former coworker demurs: "Nice, if a little distant.") Linked with Glenne Headley and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Malle, Louis. Liked little boys. Married to Candice Bergen and cheated on her, the putz. Linked with Brigitte Bardot, Jeanne Moreau, and Susan Sarandon.

Manilow, Barry. Playing for the home team. Only treats fans well if he thinks he can get something from them. "Had a co-worker of mine fired for requesting his autograph."

Mann, Aimee. Recovering junkie. Recovering anorexic/bulimic. "Nice when not spaced out on some substance."

Mansfield, Jayne. Smart woman who deserved better. Did not have good luck with men. Member of the Church of Satan. Linked with Oleg Cassini, Bobby Darrin, JFK, RFK, Henry Miller, and Porfirio Rubirosa.

Manson, Marilyn. Self-important little pud. Coke addict; decided, during one tour, to become the biggest asshole in existence, and has started throwing feces at people. Under-hung (two inches, or so I'm told). Has herpes. Linked with Rose McGowan and Parker Posey.

Mantle, Mickey. Drunkard. A regular at NYC brothels while he played for the Satanic, child-abusing, women-slapping New York Yankees. Friends with Mob-linked bookies.

Margaret, Princess. Chock full o'prejudices: Anti-Indian, Anti-Irish, Anti-Semite. Linked to Mick Jagger, Peter Sellers, & Danny Kaye.

Margulies, Julianna. Prima donna.

Marsalis, Wynton. "A self-centered passive-aggressive prick." Failed long-time relationship with Victoria Rowell.

Marshall, Penny. "Raving bitch." Bi______. Past (present?) drug user. Formerly married to Rob Reiner and linked with Dan Aykroyd.

Marsters, James. "Total sweetheart with his fans, just generally a nice guy." Linked with Susanna Eng and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Martin, Dean. Drunk. Used Mob connections to break into the music biz. Linked with Jacqueline Bisset, Catherine Deneuve, Marilyn Monroe, and Lana Turner.

Martin, Mary. Bisexual. Linked with Janet Gaynor.

Martin, Ricky. FOD. Has let fame go to his head.

Martin, Steve. "Sad and lonely and may suffer from depression." Long string of unhappily-ended relationships, which would imply that the rumors of him being a prick are true. Reportedly boring in bed. Dumped by Anne Heche for Ellen DeGeneres. Linked with Helena Bonham Carter, Diane Keaton, Bernadette Peters, and Victoria Tennant (who left him because he was "dull").

Masterson, Danny. (From That 70s Show) $cientologist.

Mastroianni, Marcello. At least one same-sex experience. Linked with Ursula Andress, Jacqueline Bisset, Faye Dunaway, Catherine Deneuve, Anita Ekberg, Nastassja Kinski, Sophia Loren, and Jeanne Moreau.

Mathis, Johnny. FOD. Linked with Tab Hunter.

Mathis, Samantha. Pothead. Was with River Phoenix the night he died. Linked with Christian Slater.

Matlin, Marlee. Formerly with Richard Dean Anderson & William Hurt.

Matthews, Dave. Bi_______, but not currently playing the field. "Into receiving golden showers from young female fans.  Once had to cancel a large section of one tour after being diagnosed with a yeast infection in his throat.  Ewww!" (Yeah, really).

Mature, Victor. Linked with Rita Hayworth, Veronica Lake, Elizabeth Taylor, Gene Tierney, and Lana Turner.

McCartney, Paul. "Nice guy, when not surrounded by handlers. The years have deflated his once massive ego."

McCarthy, Andrew. Recovering alcoholic.

McConaughey, Matthew. Self-absorbed jerk. Possible FOD. Pothead. Horndog, and by one account a rapist who stalked and terrorised a woman from 1993-2000. Hygienically challenged. Formerly with Sandra Bullock, Penelope Cruz, Janet Jackson, and Ashley Judd.

McDaniel, Hattie. Bi______. Linked with Tallulah Bankhead & Marlene Dietrich.

McDermott, Dylan. Formerly with Julia Roberts.

McDowall, Roddy. FOD. Rumored to be able to pleasure himself orally, and willing to do so at parties. Well loved by everyone who worked with him. Linked with James Dean and Farley Granger.

McEnroe, John. Unpleasant personality. Linked with Tatum O'Neal & Patty Smythe.

McGillis, Kelly. Closeted L_____. Linked with Jodie Foster, Whitney Houston, and Madonna.

McGowan, Rose. Jerk. Exhibitionist. Grew up in the anti-Semitic Children of God cult. Used the casting couch to get a part in Scream. Linked with Marilyn Manson.

McGovern, Elizabeth. Formerly with Sean Penn and Rob Reiner.

McGrath, Mark. "Herpes-spreading numbnuts." Linked with Rachel Hunter."

McGregor, Ewan. "Swings both ways. Often." "Serial shagger. Never faithful to his beautiful wife. Great bloke in person, though." Linked to Susanna Eng, Nicole Kidman, and Jude Law.

McKellan, Ian. FOD. Very gracious to his fans and the staff and functions he attends.

McLaughlin, John. Former Jesuit. Penchant for much younger women, rough sex and bondage. Given to racist and sexist comments; several sexual harassment suits against him. A monster to work for, although he once did me a big favor.

McMahaon, Vince. (The pro rasslin guy). Bisexual. Linked with HHH, Shawn Michaels, and whatever other ringboys and jobbers he can bribe, persuade, or coerce to submit to his lizardy pawing and no doubt amateurish, if undoubtedly mercifully brief, coitus.

MC Lite. Lesbian or bisexual.

McNichol, Kristy. Difficult to work with. Manic-depressive. L_____.

McQueen, Steve. All-time slut. Could be difficult to work with. Tightwad; alcoholic and drug addict. Beat Ali MacGraw. Formerly with Jacqueline Bisset, Ann-Margaret, Judy Carne, Faye Dunaway, Ali MacGraw, Sharon Tate, Mamie Van Doren, and Natalie Wood.

McRaney, Gerald. General jerk; fascist. Married to Delta Burke (they deserve each other).

Meadows, Tim. FOD, with a preference for white men.

Mendes, Eva. "Very fun and nice, but a recreational drug user. Enjoys pot and nitrous among other things." Linked with Matt Damon.

Menjou, Adolphe. Unpleasant personality. Sang like a diva to HUAC.

Meredith, Burgess. Linked with Lauren Bacall, Tallulah Bankhead, Ingrid Bergman, Olivia De Havilland, Marlene Dietrich, Paulette Goddard, Hedy Lamarr, Ginger Rogers, and Norma Shearer.

Merman, Ethel. L______/bisexual. Marriage to Ernest Borgnine (lasted only a month). Linked with Judy Garland and Jacqueline Susann.

Messier, Mark. Had to be sued to pay his child support. Vain, and is rumored to have beat up one of his teammates. Bisexual. Linked with Madonna.

Messing, Debra. "Very snotty and self important." Linked with Harry Connick, Jr.

Metallica. "Very gracious; walked through and initially ignored an entire room of spandex clad female fans to personally thank catering and security for the job they did. Only after they had signed autographs for all the staff did they turn their attention to the other people in the room."

Metcalf, Laurie. "Huge stoner."

Michael, George. "Hung like a tse-tse fly." FOD, and now open about it. Used Brooke Shields as a beard.

Midler, Bette. "Self centered bitch with an incredibly foul mouth; called her backup singers "stupid cunts" over an open mike during pre show rehersal." Loves to hang out with gay men and is reported to have said that she considers herself a gay man.

Milano, Alyssa. Linked with Fred Durst (*gag*), Kid Rock, Justin Timberlake and Scott Wolf.

Miller, Dennis. By several reports the biggest prick in Hollywood. (I realise there's stiff competition for that role, but that's how folks in the business describe Miller.) I hope you got a good price when you sold your soul and became court jester to the Avignon Presidency, Mr. Miller.

Miller, Penelope Ann. Is rumored to often become involved with her costars. Linked with Matthew Broderick, Woody Harrelson, Don Johnson, and Al Pacino.

Mineo, Sal. Closet queen. Linked with James Dean, Don Johnson, andTuesday Weld.

Minelli, Liza. "The world's most famous zombie." "Liza M., when sober, is one of the nicest, most focused professionals around. When this amazing talent is doused with too much pills and liquor, she is a circus act on a runaway train." Bi______. Pill popper. Booze-bag. Undead. Breast implants. Linked with Eddie Albert, Adam Ant, Charles Aznavour, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Ryan O'Neal, Joe Pesci, Geraldo Rivera, Martin Scorsese, Peter Sellers, Gene Simmons, and Ben Vereen.

Mitchum, Robert. Long time (several decades) drug user. Cheated on his wife (boo). Anti-Semite. Linked with Lucille Ball, Joan Crawford, Ava Gardner, Rita Hayworth, Shirley Maclaine, and Marilyn Monroe.

Mizrahi, Isaac. Straight, not, who knows? I think he's adorable no matter what he is. (Isaac! I love your clothing!) "One of the nicest celebs EVER." "I will KILL YOU if you say an unkind word about Isaac. He COULD NOT have been a nicer man." Linked with Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, and Cynthia Nixon.

Moby. What a sweet guy! I just want to give him a big hug every time I see him. (But he's rumored to be a spreader of STDs who won't use a condom unless the girls insist--say it ain't so, Moby!) (In fact, alas, alackaday, there are far more rumors about his bad behavior than there are about his good ones). Rumored to be a bisexual. Linked with Natalie Portman and Christina Ricci.

Modine, Matthew. Pompous and self-important. "Horrible tipper, acts weird in public. Socially inept."

Mohr, Jay. "A gracious and nice man with his fans."

Mol, Gretchen. "Very sweet to her fans."

Money, Eddie. "Hard-core alcoholic."

Monroe, Marilyn. Drunk and drug abuser. Failed marriages/relationships with Brigitte Bardot (!), Milton Berle, Marlon Brando, Yul Brynner, Oleg Cassini, Paddy Chayefsky, Tony Curtis, Sammy Davis Jr, Joe Dimaggio, Blake Edwards, Albert Einstein, Lena Horne, Howard Hughes, John Huston, Elia Kazan, JFK, RFK, Dean Martin, Arthur Miller, Robert Mitchum, Yves Montand, Mickey Rooney, Porfirio Rubirosa, George Sanders, Bugsy Siegel, Frank Sinatra, Mel Torme, and Orson Welles. Did not enjoy sex, but used it to gain things from men (and, reportedly, some women, including her drama coach). Difficult to work with. Employed casting couch and casting kneepads to break into Hollywood, and starred in at least one porn film pre-stardom.

Montana, Joe. Self-important. Used to have sex with girls in their late teens while married and playing for the 49ers. Has business and social ties to "Dr." James Dobson, right-wing fundie nutjob.

Moon, Warren. Wife-beater. Ho.

Moore, Demi. "Not very bright or talented." "Nicer than her reputation." Very nasty separation from Bruce Willis, although they may be back together. Never graduated from high school. Former high-priced Las Vegas callgirl. Achieved her breathy voice by permanently and deliberately damaging her vocal cords. Ego roughly the size of the Kingdome. Difficult to work with. Cheapskate. Former (and if reports are true current) drug user & abuser. More than one breast implant operation. $cientologist, but was forced to leave the cult by Willis when she tried to "convert" the kids. Bisexual, if not practising. Linked with Bill Clinton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Michael Douglas, Emilio Estevez, Colin Farrell, Anthony Kiedis, Ashton Kutcher (he's, what, a third her age? sheesh!), Rob Lowe, Tobey Maguire, Brad Pitt, Chris Rock, Ally Sheedy, and John Stamos.

Moore, Dudley. Alcoholic and drug user. Abuser of women. Linked with Susan Anton, Nastassja Kinski, and Tuesday Weld.

Moore, Mandy. Linked with Andy Roddick and Wilmer Valderrama.

Moore, Mary Tyler. Has led an unhappy life. Recovering drunkard. Attempted (but failed) to mercy-kill her dying brother. Breast implants.

Moore, Michael. Too sloppy with his facts, and actually hurts liberal causes by acting like a jackass. (Remember, Michael: brevity is the soul of wit, and more people are impressed by restraint than by clowning).

Moore, Roger. FOD.

Moorehead, Agnes. Bisexual. Linked with Debbie Reynolds.

Moran, Erin. Quite spunky during Happy Days, when she was sparking Scott Baio 6-8 times a day, sometimes behind the set; now a dull and self-righteous born-again Christian.

Moranis, Rick. "Extremely arrogant; thinks he is the end-all and be-all of comedy."

Morrison, Jim. Drug user and abuser of women. Linked to Pamela Des Barres, Janis Joplin, and Nico.

Morrissette, Alanis. Manipulative sell-out who changed images when she reached her age of majority and could legally capitalize on her sexuality. Says she doesn't drink or do drugs but that she loves sex; rumors are that she quite indulged herself in that regard as a teenager. Reportedly bisexual. "I worked for (her) for three days...didn't like her at all. She would stand around and make us walk around her when we were trying to lug heavy equipment onto the trucks." Has a fetish for painting men's toenails. "Had a fuck-as-many-as-you-can contest with her band and crew while touring for 'Jagged Little Pill.'"

Mortensen, Viggo. Deee-licious. (But possibly hygienically challenged). I've received numerous reports of how great Viggo acted toward the extras on the Lord of the Rings set. Linked with Exene Cervenka Gwyneth Paltrow, and Karl Urban (Eomer in Two Towers).

Moss, Kate. Drug user. "Was severely sexually abused as a child, and she can't reach orgasm with anyone now." Bisexual. Linked with Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jade Jagger, Lenny Kravitz, Jude & Sadie Law (together, naturally), and Billy Zane.

Mulgrew, Kate. "Nice in public if rather controlling on the set."

Mullally, Megan. Openly B_______. (Oh, be still my heart!) Rumored to have a bad attitude toward fans (although I've received some e-mails talking about what a nice woman she is). Her drinking problem is becoming more pronounced. Linked with Debbie Reynolds.

Muniz, Frankie. Is spreading nasty rumors about just how Hillary Duff pleasured him.

Murphy, Brittany. Bi______. Anorexic or drug user (meth) or both. Sleeps with her costars. Linked with Fred Durst, Eminem, Ashton Kutcher and Winona Ryder.

Murphy, Eddie. Has penchant for transsexual hookers; reported foot fetishist to boot. Greedy. Habitually late on-set. Difficult to work with, especially when he demands to be served by only black staff members. Extremely germ-phobic. "Aggressively homophobic." Linked with Halle Berry & Naomi Campbell.

Murray, Bill. Good tipper. I've heard at least one story of ugly on-set behavior by him, and one story of his bad behavior at a baseball game, but I'm willing to forgive him nearly anything for Lost in Translation. And I've also heard some stories of his good behavior with hotel workers.

Mya. "One of my friend's cousins used to date her in high school and she was a big ASS HO!!!!"

Myers, Mike. "Has a harpy wife. Passive-aggressive nerd who lets other people make his demands. Likes strippers and sex shows." Rumors are floating around about his having stolen characters from his co-stars at Second City. Rumors are also floating around about his bad behavior on the set of Cat in the Hat.

Nabors, Jim. Gay as an Ungaro Spring Frock. Reportedly had long-time relationship with Rock Hudson.

Najimy, Kathy. "An utter bitch. Horrible to staff, and surprisingly humorless offstage. Only nice to folks she considers more important, i.e. can help with her career." L_____.

Nastase, Ilie. Unpleasant personality. Racist.

Neeson, Liam. Not what one could call faithful to his women, and apparently doesn't limit himself to just women. Rumored to have vd. Linked to Janice Dickinson, Helen Mirren, Sinead O'Connor, Natasha Richardson (his wife), Julia Roberts, Brooke Shields, and Barbra Streisand.

Negri, Pola. Linked with Johnny Carson, Charlie Chaplin, and Rudolph Valentino.

Neill, Sam. Very charming in person, or so I'm told.

Nelson, Judd. Drug addict. Jerk. Roundly loathed in Portland, Maine, where he is originally from. Regular customer with Heidi Fleiss. Linked to Shannon Doherty.

Nelson, Ricky. Pot smoker. "Extremely nice, accomodating and respectful to his fans."

Nelson, Willie. Huge pot user. Reportedly hygienically challenged. Nice man in person, though. Womanizer. Linked with Amy Irving.

Nesmith, Mike. "His mother actually did invent liquid paper, which netted him $30 million dollars when she died.  He's a control freak, stemming from early poor days of selling pots of correction fluid business-door-to-door and only eating that night if successful."

Neuwirth, Bebe. Difficult to work with - "bitch supreme." Cokehead. Linked to Kevin Spacey and George Stephanopoulos.

Newhart, Bob. A genuinely nice and modest man.

Newman, Paul. FOD in a beard-merkin arrangement with wife Joanne Woodward. Linked with Tom Cruise.

Newton, Wayne. "Hung like a gnat."

Newton-John, Olivia. Bi______. Linked with John Travolta.

Nicholson, Jack. Insane. Physically abusive towards women. Reportedly enjoyably zany half the time and incredibly insufferable the other half of the time. Reputed drug user (enormous quantities). Slut; reportedly competed (competes?) with Warren Beatty for most women rogered. Regular at certain Hollywood brothels; likes multiples. Grew up believing his grandmother was his mother and his mother was his sister. Is reported to have a large collection of very hardcore pornography (and worse). Linked with Drew Barrymore (at a very young age), Candice Bergen, Lara Flynn Boyle, Janice Dickinson, Faye Dunaway, Anjelica Huston, Diane Keaton, Jessica Lange, Madonna, Michelle Phillips, Meryl Streep, and Margaret Trudeau.

Nicks, Stevie. Egotist. Is to fashion what Mike Tyson is to civilised behaviour. Claims she hasn't had sex with a man since 1994. Bi______. Big cokehead, but is afraid that it will damage her vocal chords and so has her assistant blow it into her anally. (Isn't that grotesquely delicious gossip?) In re: that last item, during the 1970s she'd give herself coke/water enemas. Is apparently known for her oral skills. (Could any man be that desperate?)

Nielsen, Brigitte. Breast implants. Failed marriage to Sly Stallone. L_____. Can be had if you've got the money. "Worked as a professional dominatrix in Germany for three years before coming to the States."

Nimoy, Leonard. Recovering alcoholic and drug addict.

Niven, David. Suave, wry man. The opposite of Ronald Reagan with regards to their WW2 experiences; Reagan boasted, repeatedly, that he saw action, which was a lie, while Niven, who was one of the first British actors to enlist and who was part of the D-Day invasion, was quite modest about it. Linked with Doris Duke, Errol Flynn, Ava Gardner, Paulette Goddard, Rita Hayworth, Grace Kelly, Deborah Kerr, Hedy Lamarr, Carole Lombard, Merle Oberon, Ginger Rogers, Norma Shearer, Simone Simon, Mae West and Loretta Young.

Nixon, Cynthia. "Was really cool and a good tipper."

Nixon, Richard. Evil man--corrupt, racist, anti-Semite homophobe. Almost single-handedly responsible for robbing America of its faith in the presidency. Addicted to Dilantin. Beat his wife.

Nolte, Nick. Not as sober as he pretends to be. DUI arrest. Linked with Debra Winger.

Norris, Chuck. Regular at Gentlemen's Clubs. Conservative who is given to anti-immigrant statements.

Norton, Ed. "Smarter than you and happy to prove it." Linked with Helena Christensen, Cameron Diaz, Salma Hayek, and Courtney Love.

Novak, Kim. Reportedly...well, this smacks of urban legend, but reportedly Kim Novak had "testicular feminization syndrome" and "was genetically a male." Linked with Sammy Davis, Jr, Cary Grant, RFK, Aly Khan, Peter Lawford, Porfirio Rubirosa, and Frank Sinatra.

Novarro, Ramon. Killed by rough trade hustlers & left with a dildo (inscribed to him from Rudolf Valentino) anally inserted. Linked with Greta Garbo.

Nureyev, Rudolf. "The Great Vaselino." Played all sides of the field. Linked with Leonard Bernstein, Margot Fonteyn, Mick Jagger, Robert F. Kennedy (in a phone booth, no less), Robert Mapplethorpe, Freddie Mercury, Anthony Perkins, and Michelle Phillips.

Oberon, Merle. Liked her men, even while married. Linked with Jimmy Cagney, Maurice Chevalier, Gary Cooper, Eddie Fisher, Clark Gable, Richard Harris, Rex Harrison, Leslie Howard, David Niven, and Darryl F. Zanuck.

O'Brien, Conan. "Still a bit surprised that he has his own show. Very nice, goofy and very nerdy still." "Horribly insecure." (Relax, Conan! All the right people think you're cool). Linked with Courtney Cox.

O'Brien, Pat. Closet case.

O'Connor, Carol. Son overdosed on drugs.

O'Connor, Sinead. Went from heterosexual to bi_____ to avowed L______ to married woman; where she's going now, nobody knows. Pot user. Linked with Daniel Day-Lewis, Peter Gabriel, Liam Neeson, and Prince.

O'Donnell, Chris. Formerly with Drew Barrymore and Sandra Bullock, although not unacquainted with other men's members.

O'Donnell, Rosie. Finally out of the closet, which I'm sure is a great comfort to the tens of thousands of gay men and women who might have been comforted by the gay role model Rosie would have provided; but, obviously, making money and telling lies about yourself is much more important than helping other people. Fangirl made good. Unpleasant towards cast and crew any time the cameras aren't rolling. Unpleasantly obsessed with Tom Cruise. Now openly unpleasant to everybody, down to making jokes about people dying with cancer. A big tipper as long as she's left alone. Calls herself a "bitch;" well, if the shoe fits, Rosie....

Oldman, Gary. Eccentric (to put it politely). Major heroin/alcohol monkey on his back. Hygienically challenged. Linked to Isabella Rossellini & Uma Thurman (failed marriage).

Olivier, Laurence. "Pretentious megalomaniac." FOD. Linked with Jill Esmond, Greer Garson, Danny Kaye (a long-time partner), Vivien Leigh, and Joan Plowright.

Olmos, Edward James. Reputed child molester. Linked to Lorraine Bracco via failed marriage.

Olsen, Mary-Kate. Eating disorder.

Olsen, Susan. DUI twice.

Onassis, Aristotle. Linked with Maria Callas, Paulette Goddard, Jackie O, Veronica Lake,

Onassis, Jacqueline Kennedy. Had a "world-class spending fetish." Linked with Gianni Agnelli, Warren Beatty, Marlon Brando, Pete Hamill, William Holden, JFK, RFK, Ari Onassis, and Frank Sinatra.

O'Neal, Ryan. Prick. Pothead. Physically abusive of his women and children. Linked with Ursula Andress, Jacqueline Bisset, Joan Collins, Britt Ekland, Mia Farrow, Farrah Fawcett, Melanie Griffith, Anjelica Huston, Bianca Jagger, Carole King, Ali MacGraw, Liza Minnelli, Joni Mitchell, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand, Margaret Trudeau, and Tuesday Weld.

O'Neal, Shaquille. Bigoted buffoon. $0.15 mind in a $100K body (see: "I've won at every level except college and pro," and "Coach, you played?" the latter to Hall of Famer Lenny Wilkins). Member of the Nation of Islam. Has a kept woman near Westwood. Linked with Cindy Crawford, who he then boasted about shtupping. Boasted about having slept with one of the Williams sisters and was then forced to admit he lied.

O'Neal, Tatum. Heroin addict. Tried in vain to seduce Michael Jackson. Linked with Alec Baldwin and John McEnroe.

O'Reilly, Bill. Surprisingly unintelligent, for all his bluster. Anti-Muslim bigot. Currently helping to spread the Jews-control-the-media meme--thanks for helping the anti-Semites, Bill.

Ormond, Julia. Cheap. Linked with Gabriel Byrne, Harrison Ford, and Brad Pitt.

Osmond, Donny. "Has had several liposuction procedures. Aggressive bottom guy. Likes them young, hung, and blond."

Osmond, Marie.  Addicted to over the counter medication. Linked with Andy Gibb and John Schneider.

O'Toole, Peter. Incredibly filthy stage name. Recovering drunkard. Brought up as a girl for the first twelve years of his life. Linked with Ursula Andress and Audrey Hepburn.

Pacino, Al. "A very intense guy but really kind." Face lift. Linked with Jill Clayburgh, Beverly D'Angelo, Diane Keaton, Penelope Ann Miller, Kathleen Quinlan, Tuesday Weld, and Debra Winger.

Palance, Jack. "Although he strikes many people as stuck-up and rude, he's really just a very shy, quiet person who prefers his own company to that of others. Can be very nice."

Palin, Michael. All-around nice guy.

Palmenteri, Chazz. Used a personal assistant for sex (threatened to ruin her career if she didn't), then paid her off (with De Niro's money) so she wouldn't talk.

Paltrow, Gwyneth. "Snotty, pompous, chain-smoking toothpick." Rumored to be evil and back-stabbing to her competitors. Acts like a diva on-set and off. Rumored to have dumped Brad over his heavy pot/X use as well as her snooty attitude towards his lack of education. Reportedly a "favorite" of Harvey and/or Bob Weinstein. Nymphomaniac whose cheating on Brad may have been the real reason they broke up. Linked with Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Chris Martin (of Coldplay), Viggo Mortensen, Brad Pitt, Prince Nicholas of Greece, Jonathan Schaech, David Schwimmer, Jerry Seinfeld, Mark Wahlberg, and Luke Wilson.

Parker, Dorothy. Drunkard. Played the field with many men, including Robert Benchley. Repeatedly attempted suicide.

Parker, Sarah Jessica. "Very snotty and demanding. Not a good tipper." Very superstitious. Her relationship with Matthew Broderick seems to have gone through some rocky periods but is more solid now; she reportedly threatened to get pregnant, at one point, if he didn't marry her. Has made many more enemies than friends on the set of Sex and the City. Has inverted nipples. Linked with Nicholas Cage, Robert Downey Jr, Michael J. Fox, John-John Kennedy, and Chris Penn.

Parton, Dolly. Very easy to work with. Bi______. Good ole gal. Reportedly seduced a 13-year-old boy, which isn't cool. Linked with Billy Ray Cyrus, Burt Reynolds, Lily Tomlin, and James Woods.

Patinkin, Mandy. Vain. Unpleasant to work with. Wife-beater. Surprisingly, I've received a couple of e-mails about how good he was with some fans, esp. those in wheelchairs. Maybe Mandy has a heart after all?

Patric, Jason. Heroin addict. Linked with Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Julia Roberts, and Christy Turlington.

Paul, Sean. "One of the nicest men in show business. He's loyal to his fans and thankful for everything he has."

Paul, Vinnie (Pantera/Damageplan). "Male whore."

Pavarotti, Luciano. "He's omnisexual, taking on women, men, and children of both sexes. A total pig." It's a wonder he (or anyone) can find his undoubtedly stubby and unsatisfying pizzle under the layers of deep fried Twinkies he's gorged upon.

Pearce, Guy. Pothead. Friendly to fans.

Peck, Gregory. Nice man, and openly gay-friendly in his 80s. I'd do him. Linked with Ingrid Bergman & Audrey Hepburn.

Peckinpah, Sam. Insane; treated cast and crew horribly.

Penn, Sean. Punches out photographers; needs therapy--badly. Poetaster. Linked with Naomi Campbell, Courtney Cox, Jewel, Elle MacPherson, Madonna (failed marriage), Mary Stuart Masterson, Elizabeth McGovern, Susan Sarandon, and Robin Wright (troubled marriage).

Penn & Teller. "Both friendly, very cool."

Peppard, George. Acted on the A Team, but played for the home team.

Perkins, Anthony. FOD. Linked with Tab Hunter, Rudolf Nureyev, and Victoria Principal.

Peron, Eva. Linked with Errol Flynn.

Perry, Anne. A murderer while a teenager.

Perry, Luke. Linked with Rebecca Gayheart and Kelly Preston.

Perry, Matthew. Reportedly bulimic; also reportedly a drug/alcohol addict who is not now quite as drug-free as he pretends to be in public. Supposedly used force on a girl, way back when. Linked with Krista Allen, Renee Ashton, Hank Azaria, Yasmine Bleeth, Neve Campbell, Jennifer Capriati, Shannon Doherty, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Salma Hayek, Elizabeth Hurley, Amanda Peet, Julia Roberts, and Jamie Tarses.

Peters, Bernadette. Swings her legs on both sides of the fence.

Petty, Tom. Very cool guy, very good to those who work for him and drive him.

Pfeiffer, Michelle. "Evil, drunken bitch to staff at more than one catered event." Reportedly was a high-priced call-girl at one time. Linked with Eric Clapton, Kevin Costner, Harrison Ford, Michael Keaton, David E. Kelley, Val Kilmer, John Malkovich, Fisher Stevens and Kiefer Sutherland.

Philbin, Regis. Cranky on air, worse off the air. Jealous of his co-workers.

Phillippe, Ryan. Used to be gay for pay. Pot-head. Linked with Reese Witherspoon via marriage; she reportedly does not treat him well, and he returns the favor by chasing other women. Shares a hooker with Rick Fox, the husband of Vanessa Williams.

Phillips, Bijou. "She is out of control--a beast. She chews with her mouth open and has no manners." "What a total bitch she was." Cocaine abuser, and publically so. Linked with Evan Dando, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Sean Lennon; Elijah Blue claims to have had a three-way with her and another woman. "Known on the women's scene as a bisexual."

Phillips, Emo. "Was NOT playing a character in his act, is REALLY like that all the time.  Formerly? married to Judy Tenuta, despite her trying to hide that fact. Oh, and also liked exposing himself to children."

Phillips, Lou Diamond. Wife left him for Melissa Etheridge; reports on how he took this differ.

Phillips, Mackenzie. Recovering drug user. Possible L______. Linked with Mick Jagger.

Phillips, Michelle. Drug user. Linked with Warren Beatty, Dennis Hopper, Senator John Kerry, Jack Nicholson, Rudolf Nureyev, and Roman Polanski.

Phoenix, Joaquin. Coke user. Bad driver. "Atrocious personal hygiene and, sadly, has developed an out of control alcohol problem." Linked with Susanna Eng.

Phoenix, River. Drug addict; died of overdose. Played from both sides of the plate. Horrible family. Linked with Samantha Mathis and Martha Plimpton.

Piaf, Edith. Drunk and drug addict. Bisexual. "A known fascist collaborator and supporter of the Nazi occupation forces during World War II.  To what degree she was coerced into such actions is not known." "To be fair, Piaf claimed to be working for the Resistance while apparently collaborating." Linked with Jean Cocteau, Marlene Dietrich, John Garfield, and Yves Montand.

Piazza, Mike. Has a taste for Latin men.

Pierce, David Hyde. FOD. "Exceptionally nice." "The most charming, humble, wonderful man in showbiz."

Pinchot, Bronson. FOD. (I mean, duh).

Pink. Bi______ with a taste for black men. Recovering heroin addict. "Allegedly shagging her (female) make up artist long term." Linked with Pamela Anderson, Kristanna Loken, and Tommy Lee (hitting the bifecta of sleaze and idiocy, I see).

Pinkett, Jada. Either Will Smith is really the type to cheat on her if she isn't watching him all day, every day, or she's paranoid. (You make the call.) Swinger; bisexual. Linked with Grant Hill. Married to Will Smith.

Pitt, Brad. Hygienically challenged. Hard to work with; was horrible on the set of Devil's Own. Used to wear a chicken suit for El Pollo Loco. Reportedly broke up with Gwyneth Paltrow over her refusal to service him orally. Reported heavy drug use. Plays both sides of the field. Has herpes. Has wandering eyes (and other body parts). Was arrested in 1989 for exposing himself to drivers in Malibu. Not, perhaps, the brightest of men. Linked with Jennifer Anniston, Nicole Appleton, Geena Davis, Robin Givens, Juliette Lewis (while she was only 16), Robin Givens, Demi Moore, Julia Ormond, and Uma Thurman.

Poitier, Sydney. Dignified man; too cool for words. Linked with Diahanne Carroll.

Polanski, Roman. Enjoys favors of young women--very young women. (Read: teenage girls). Raped and sodomized a 13-year-old. Difficult to work with. Linked with Catherine Deneuve, Mia Farrow, Nastassja Kinski, Michelle Phillips, and Sharon Tate.

Pop, Iggy. Bisexual. Recovering drug addict. Exhibitionist. But nice to fans.

Pope Paul VI. Wasn't just a Pope; was also a Queen.

Pope Pius XII. Morally vile; anti-Semite who deserves as much moral condemnation as it is possible to give for his contemptible and inexcusable actions before and during WW2, when he could have helped the Jews of Europe but did not. Is, if there's any justice, burning in Hell as I type this.

Porter, Cole. FOD.

Portman, Natalie. Has admitted to lusting after other woman, but claims never to have done anything about it. (No, certainly not.) Is succesfully living the life of an ordinary college student. I've heard a number of accounts of how modest and unassuming she is in person, but I'm now beginning to hear stories of diva-like behavior on her part. Ecstasy user. Linked with Hayden Christiansen, Lukas Haas, Jude Law, and Moby.

Posey, Parker. Bright woman. Using. Linked with Ryan Adams, Jimmy Fallon and Marilyn Manson. (oh, Parker, say it ain't so!)

Poundstone, Paula. L_____; claims to be asexual and celibate.

Powell, William. Linked with Kay Francis, Jean Harlow, Carole Lombard and Myrna Loy.

Power, Tyrone. Played both sides of the fence. Rumored to have held scat parties with Cesar Romero and Monty Wooley. Linked with Mr. Blackwell, Truman Capote, Joan Crawford, Doris Day, Errol Flynn, Eva Gabor, Judy Garland, Rita Hayworth, Howard Hughes, Cesar Romero, Eva Peron, Simone Simon, Gene Tierney, Lana Turner and Loretta Young.

Powers, Stefanie. Sexually harassed her young assistant. Linked with Timothy Dalton, Eddie Fisher, William Holden (who beat her), David Janssen, Gary Lockwood, and Robert Wagner.

Presley, Elvis. Slut. Pill-popper. Was once blackmailed because someone had a film of Elvis with five women--at once. Didn't like to perform oral sex, but sure liked receiving it. Not very good in bed. Linked with Ursula Andress, Ann-Margret, Doris Duke, Shelley Fabares, Angela Lansbury, Juliet Prowse, Cybil Shepherd, Nancy Sinatra, Barbara Stanwyck, Barbra Streisand, Mamie Van Doren, Tuesday Weld and Natalie Wood.

Presley, Lisa Marie. $cientologist. Weird-ass relationship with Michael Jackson. Has admitted to same-sex relationships and drug use. Linked with Nicholas Cage and Jeff Goldblum.

Presley, Priscilla. $cientologist.

Preston, Kelly. Married to John Travolta. $cientologist. Formerly with George Clooney, Kevin Costner, Luke Perry, and Charlie Sheen.

Price, Vincent. Gay; his wife was a L______.

Priestly, Jason. "Rumored to have gotten a major part bent over a producer's desk." Drug user. Drunk. FOD. Bad tipper. Vain.

Prince. Long string of failed relationships (Apollonia, Kim Basinger, Sheena Easton, Carmen Electra, Sherilyn Fenn, Susanna Hoffs, Madonna, Sinead O'Connor, and Vanity), and now fallen on economic hard times. Divorcing his wife. Abuser of women.

Prince Charles. Is not unacquainted with the ways of men.

Prince Edward. FOD.

Prince Phillip. Queen's Consort. Bisexual.

Principal, Victoria. "Cold but smart woman who married her plastic surgeon." Used casting couch to get into the profession. Former kept woman to an international criminal financier. Had affair with Andy Gibb, Anthony Perkins, and Frank Sinatra.

Prinze, Jr., Freddie. "Reportedly has a little boy complex which includes playing with toys and wearing a diaper in his off time.  His marriage to SMG hasn't decreased the popularity of this tale.  He reportedly likes his diaper changed by males and females.  But with males, he'll only do mutual masturbation, no oral, no anal.  Reportedly likes to sleep nuzzling SMG's crotch." Bi______. Linked with Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Prowse, Juliet. Linked with John Holmes and Elvis Presley.

Puente, Tito. 40-year-long cocaine habit. (Oh, Tito, what were you thinking...?)

Quaid, Dennis. "When he's drunk he's all things sexually." Recovering alcohol & drug addict (and is reportedly still drinking). Has a certain difficulty with that whole "faithfulness" concept. Linked with Andie MacDowell and Meg Ryan.

Queen Latifah. L______. DUI arrest. Rumored not just to use drugs but deal them. Admitted in an interview to selling drugs and her body when younger. "Very cool. Very nice to the staff and fans." Linked with Lil Kim.

Queen Mother. "The Queen Mother (or Elizabeth Bowes Lyons as she was then) was very well known in the local area (of Forfar) for being a "bike" (ie...everyone got a ride on her) before she was married to the future King."

Quiet Riot. "Buncha unprofessional pricks."

Quinn, Anthony. Slut; generally good-natured. Physically abusive towards women, though. Linked with Ingrid Bergman, Rita Hayworth, Carole Lombard, Mae West and Shelley Winters.

Quinn, Colin. Racist.

Raft, George. Ties to organized crime. Linked with Lucille Ball, Marlene Dietrich, Carole Lombard, Norma Shearer, and Mae West.

Raimi, Sam. "Sam Raimi was an INCREDIBLE person to work for. He was the best boss in Hollywood. He was friendly, funny, VERY down to earth and normal and always had time for his employees and fans. By far the most generous person I met in LA. He fought with the Paramount producers to get me paid and credited even though I never asked for it (he didn't even tell anyone he did it - his assistant told me about it)."

Ramone, Joey. Down-to-earth personality. Hygienically challenged.

Raphael, Sally Jesse. Habitual liar. Swinger during the Seventies. "A raging bitch who treats one of her sons terribly."

Rather, Dan. Difficult to work with. Conceited.

Rawls, Lou. Arrested for physical abuse of his common law wife.

Reagan, Nancy Davis. The eminence grise(ly) in the Reagan White House. Used astrology to determine policy decisions. Slept with Frank Sinatra in the White House itself. Personally pro-choice but kept quiet and supported anti-choice actions for her husband's career. Former "Hostess Girl"/prostitute for the studios when they needed to recruit someone; reported to give the best head in Hollywood, in her day. Was pregnant when she married Ronnie. Used pot at least once. Verbally abused her children. Linked with Milton Berle, Yul Brynner, Clark Gable, Peter Lawford, Frank Sinatra, Spencer Tracy, and Mike Wallace.

Reagan, Ronald. "I have never seen one man more pussy-whipped by his wife in my life." Absent-minded, evil-by-omission man. Betrayed his fellow Hollywood stars to red-baiters. Homophobe and racist. Rapist of Selene Walters during the 1950s. Cheated on his wife in 1968. Symbol and figurehead of almost all that was wrong with the 1980s. Linked with Doris Day, Nancy Davis Reagan, and Jane Wyman.

Redford, Robert. Recovering alcoholic. Formerly with Kim Basinger, Sonia Braga, Jane Fonda, and Babs Streisand.

Reece, Gabrielle. Linked with Dean Cain and Tiger Woods.

Reed, Lou. Bisexual & serial dater of transsexuals. Drug addict. Linked to Laurie Anderson, Nico & Suzanne Vega.

Reed, Rex. FOD. Shoplifter.

Reeves, Keanu. May be a FOD, although there are many conflicting reports on this. Hygienically challenged. Never graduated from high school. Supposed drug use. No one home upstairs, but it's a hell of a climb up the staircase. In person, a nice, sweet, unassuming guy who is very generous with his money, both to the crews of his films as well as to charities. Reportedly becoming increasingly withdrawn due to a series of personal tragedies. Linked with Carrie-Anne Moss, Keanu Reeves, and Michael Stipe.

Reeves, Martha. Lesbian.

Reid, Tara. Known as "the new Shannon Doherty," which says it all, really. Coke (and pot, and heroin, and everything else) user, snob, bad tipper. Into group sex. Linked with Tom Brady, Carson Daly (oh, yuch), Heath Ledger, Ashton Kutcher, David Schwimmer, and Jeremy Shockey (who is as much a putz as she is).

Reilly, Charles Nelson. Openly gay.

Reiner, Rob. Limping by on massive daily doses of antidepressants. Bi______. Formerly married to Penny Marshall.

Reiser, Paul. "A total egomaniac."

Reitman, Ivan. Unpleasant person. Homophobe.

Remini, Leah. "An arrogant and demanding bitch 95% of the time. The other 5%, she's just rude."

Reno, Janet. If rumors are to be believed, a part-time dominatrix. Reportedly a repeat DWI offender who was never arrested because of her power. Linked with Donna Shalala.

Reynolds, Burt. Now on very hard economic times; reportedly almost homeless. Abuser of women. Failed marriage to and bitter divorce with Loni Anderson; linked with Kim Basinger, Candice Bergen, Judy Carne (who he married), Doris Day,  Faye Dunaway, Chris Evert, Farrah Fawcett, Sally Field, Hal Needham, Dolly Parton, Cybill Shepherd, Dinah Shore, Mamie Van Doren and Tammy Wynette.

Reynolds, Debbie. L____/bisexual with a taste for leather & the lash. Not a particularly good mother to Carrie Fisher. Drunkard. Married to Eddie Fisher. Linked with Doris Day, Glenn Ford, Agnes Moorehead, Megan Mullaly, and Robert Wagner.

Reznor, Trent. Has anger management issues. Treats the people in his band horribly (although a couple of people who've worked with him let me know that he is often not like that). Recovering addict. Has a thing for black women. Linked with Courtney Love.

Rhymes, Busta. Living out The Crying Game.

Ricci, Christina. Recovering anorexic; formerly burned herself with cigarettes. Has a number of odd phobias. Linked with Johnny Depp and Moby.

Rice, Anne. Bad writer, bad dresser, bad neighbor, bad person. (In fairness, I did receive more than one e-mail about how good she is with her fans).

Rice, Jerry. Extremely vain, although he does have a lot to be vain about. Philanderer. A regular at certain SF massage parlors and brothels. Hits on Asian and white women at his local gym, and in a very inappropriate and crude way. "A two-faced egomaniac."

Richards, Denise. The light's on in the attic, and it's a hell of a view, but nobody's home. Breast implants. Clean freak/germphobic. Former Heidi Fleiss worker. Linked with Scott Baio, Patrick Muldoon, Charlie Sheen, and John Stamos.

Richards, Keith. Heavy (former?) drug user. Zombie/undead. Linked with Mick Jagger in a Portrait-of-Dorian-Grey fashion. LInked with Anita Pallenberg.

Richert, Nate. FOD.

Richie, Lionel. Hit his wife (although it was when he'd discovered her in bed with another man).

Rickman, Alan. "Genuinely a nice guy, although can be difficult when he feels things are going poorly on the set."

Ripken, Cal. Mysteriously overrated as a player (as if longevity were everything!); physically abusive toward his wife after he caught her sleeping with Kevin Costner. Nice to his fans, though.

Rivera, Geraldo. "World class creep and lowlife." Was born 'Jerry Rivers.' Thinks a little too highly of himself. Switch-hitter. Linked (by his own account, at least) with Judy Collins, Chris Evert (no, Chris, say it ain't so!), Bette Midler, Liza Minnelli, and suppposedly a thousand others. (I suspect stat padding.)

Rivers, Joan. Curiously humorless; vain, as well. No stranger to the plastic surgeon's knife. Apologist for Reagan et al. Warped relationship with her daughter. Cheap and stingy. In her attempts to be funny she has turned into a crass, vulgar shrieking harridan. (I must admit that I do get the occasional e-mail about Joan acting very nice toward fans.)

Robbins, Tim. Boy-toy of Susan Sarandon who he reportedly abuses emotionally and physically. Pothead.

Roberts, Doris. "Conceited."

Roberts, Eric. Oddball, perhaps because of drugs. Abuser of women. Homophobe. Linked with Sandy Dennis.

Roberts, Julia. Has well-earned reputation for falling in love with, and just as quickly dumping, her costars, even/especially when they're married. Drunkard and drug user. Difficult to work with. Very difficult to work for and drive. Has been acting badly toward fans, too. (Of course, some fans have written in and said how nicely she acted toward them). Does not shave her armpits. Very bad tipper (shame on you, Julia!). Plays both sides of the field. Size queen and likes that back-door loving. Linked with Ben Bratt, George Clooney (who she cheated on Ben Bratt with--and who among us would not?), Daniel Day Lewis, Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke, Lyle Lovett (who she married, then divorced, thereby breaking the poor boy's heart), Dylan McDermott, Liam Neeson, Jason Patric, Matthew Perry, Susan Sarandon, Kiefer Sutherland (who she left on the eve of their wedding), and Bruce Willis.

Roberts, Tanya. Alcoholic, which was the reason for her leaving/being fired from That 70s Show.

Robinson, Smoky. Has a crack habit and is a slut.

The Rock. Bisexual. "A delightful and gracious man who seems genuinely grateful for his success." Linked (briefly) with Seann William Scott.

Rockwell, Sam. Linked with Drew Barrymore. Turned down Winona Ryder.

Roddenberry, Gene. Unpleasant martinet; repeatedly cheated on his wife, who deserved much better. Slept with Nichelle Nichols.

Rodman, Dennis. Crossdresser. Semi-closeted bisexual, or perhaps just confused. Reported alien. Rapist. Linked with Carmen Electra and Madonna.

Rodriguez, Michelle. Lesbian; has anger management problems.

Rodriguez, Robert. "Very nice guy, both him and his wife. Great to work for."

Rogan, Joe. Asshole. Needs repeated beatings before he's fit to rejoin the human race. "Only known to sleep with men. Frequently the men are transvestites. Destroyed strictly platonic relationship with Kelly Preston by constantly badgering John Travolta to get him a movie part. When he stopped being invited to Preston and Travolta's home, he spread rumors (false) that Travolta had come on to him and that he'd turned Travolta down."

Rogers, Ginger. Linked with Desi Arnaz, Fred Astaire, Lew Ayres, George Gershwin, Cary Grant, Howard Hughes, Leo McCarey, Burgess Meredith, David Niven, Jimmy Stewart and Rudy Vallee.

Rogers, Kenny. Openly admits to enjoying using 1-900 numbers & being talked dirty to. (Points for honesty, anyhow.)

Rogers, Mimi. $cientologist (or perhaps ex-$cientologist, according to some). Linked with Tom Cruise.

Romano, Ray. Gambling addict. Not everybody loves Raymond....

Romero, Cesar. FOD. Rumored to have held scat parties with Tyrone Power and Monty Wooley. Linked with Desi Arnaz and Tyrone Power.

Ronstadt, Linda. Linked with Jerry Brown, all of the Eagles, Mick Jagger, Kevin Kline, and George Lucas.

Rooney, Mickey. Conceited. Born-again Christian. Claims to have sodomized Elizabeth Taylor. Links to Ava Gardner, Marilyn Monroe, Norma Shearer, Gene Tierney, and Lana Turner.

Roosevelt, Eleanor. Bi______.

Roosevelt, Franklin Delano. Had long time affair with a woman not his wife.

Roseanne. Deeply disturbed woman. Never graduated from high school. String of failed marriages/relationships. Former prostitute; has had L____ affairs in the past. Has claimed to suffer from MPD. Domineering towards her cast and crew. Formerly married to Tom Arnold.

Rose-Marie (from The Dick Van Dyke Show). Bi______.

Ross, Diana. Conceited freak. Humorless jerk. Has admitted to having same-sex relationships. Drug problems. Reported to be a very good mother, however. Diva. Linked with Warren Beatty, Cher, Richard Gere, Berry Gordy (to advance her career), Julio Iglesias, Michael Jackson, Ryan O'Neal, Smokey Robinson, and Gene Simmons.

Rossdale, Gavin. Closet queen. Pothead. Linked with Gwen Stefani.

Rossellini, Isabella. Refreshingly modest woman. Daughter of Ingrid Bergman. Linked with Mikhail Baryshnikov, David Lynch, Gary Oldman and Martin Scorsese.

Roth, David Lee. Closeted (or perhaps not so) FOD.

Rourke, Mickey. "Kissing him is like kissing an ashtray." Arrogant, egotistical, hygienically challenged punk. Vocally pro-IRA. Difficult to work with. Abuser of women (although I was told a very persuasive argument that this isn't the case, and that Carre Otis simply lied when she alleged that he beat her). Victim of a horrendous, failed face-lift. Linked with Kim Basinger, Terry Farrell, Darryl Hannah, and Carre Otis.

Rubiroso, Porfirio. Liar and slut. Linked with Dolores Del Rio, Doris Duke, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Veronica Lake, Jayne Mansfield, Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak, and Eva Peron.

Rudd, Paul. "Wonderful with his fans."

Rush, Geoffrey. "Apparently has a bit of an ego, but is still quite pleasant nonetheless."

Russell, Jane. Lesbian.

Russell, Keri. Reportedly very nice and professional. Linked with Scott Speedman.

Russell, Kurt. Humorless and conceited (although I've received the occasional e-mail talking about what a regular guy he is). Compulsively cheats on POSSLQ Goldie Hawn.

Ryan, Meg. Difficult to work with: "The biggest bitch (the Against the Ropes cast) have ever worked with in their careers!" (Several fans concur) Has a problem with alcohol. "So rude in person...just very cold with everyone." Linked with Craig Bierko, Russell Crowe, John Cusack, Anthony Edwards, Melissa Etheridge & Dennis Quaid.

Ryder, Winona. Hopping from musician to actor to musician with all the agility and speed of a starved hyena targeting a limping Thompson's gazelle. One of her well-earned Hollywood nicknames is "Wanna Ride Her?" Rumored to enjoy pleasuring herself far more than she enjoys or is capable of being pleased by her boyfriends. Has a crudely, stereotypically masculine approach to sex. Pothead and addicted to painkillers. Shoplifter. Broke up with Damon because he convinced her to make a bad set of investments, and she lost over $1 million. Has done good work with her community, though. Bi______. Linked with Ryan Adams, Dodi al Fayeed, Beck, Bono, Ed Burns, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Evan Dando, Daniel Day-Lewis, Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Jr., David Duchovny, Adam Duritz, Jakob Dylan, Everlast, Jimmy Fallon, Dave Grohl, Corey Haim, Chris Isaak, Courtney Love, Brittany Murphy, Chris Noth, Dave Pirner, Charlie Sheen, Christian Slater, Mark Wahlberg, Paul Westerberg, Bruce Willis, and Pete Yorn.

Sabato, Jr., Antonio. Bi______. Nice guy - except "notorious spreader of herpes,, would screw any girl who flirts with him."

Saget, Bob. Vain; needs to be slapped, several times & hard.

Salenger, Meredith. Enjoyed the best the Harvard water polo team (men's) had to offer while at Harvard.

Salerno-Sonnenberg, Nadja. Lesbian.

Sambora, Richie. Cokehead. Married to Heather Locklear. Linked with Cher, Courtney Cox, and Ally Sheedy.

Sampras, Pete. Pleasant but dull. Linked with Lauren Holly, Kimberly Williams and Bridgette Wilson.

Sanders, George. My idol. Linked with Lucille Ball, Dolores Del Rio, Doris Duke, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Hedy Lamarr, Marilyn Monroe, and Gene Tierney.

Sapp, Warren. "Incredibly rude, does not tip, a constant cheat to his wife, has several children born out of wedlock which he denies to this day even though paternity tests show that the kids are his."

Sarandon, Susan. Treats her staff badly, and in public, no less, just as she does her fans. Linked with Barry Bostwick (who slapped her around) Louis Malle, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins (current thing, who reportedly abuses her emotionally and physically) and Julia Roberts.

Sargent, Dick. FOD.

Savage, Fred. "Very nice; tries to hide from the public."

Savage, Michael. What an unbelievable asshole. Bigoted against everyone. Please, G-d, strike this man dead and remind us that sometimes divine justice occurs here on Earth.

Sawyer, Diane. Contemptible woman. Linked with Warren Beatty and Patricia Cornwell; married (beard duty) to Mike Nichols.

Scacchi, Greta. Imperious towards her personal staff. Linked with Vincent d'Onofrio and Daniel Day Lewis.

Schaech, Jonathan. Closeted (or not so closeted, perhaps) FOD. Linked with Christina Applegate and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Schiffer, Claudia. Three sandwiches short of a picnic basket. "Not so sweet or funny." Linked to Prince Albert & David Copperfield (on beard patrol).

Schlessinger, Dr. Laura. Even worse than she appears. “Aggressive, hypersensitive, bossy, condescending, huge on the ego and skimpy on the tip.” Hypocritical and insufferable moralist prig of the worst order. Simply one of the most vile human beings on the face of the planet, and an embarassment to humanity.

Schneider, Fred. FOD.

Schneider, Maria. Bi______.

Schreiber, Liev. "Unbelievable wanker. Self important jerk." (Although I've received a few e-mails telling me that he's really a nice guy and shy rather than arrogant).

Schroeder, Rick. Drug abuser and heavy partier.

Schumacher, Joel. "Delightfully nice." FOD.

Schwarzenegger, Arnold. Unpleasant, vain conservative. Has a Nazi father. Apologist for Kurt Waldheim. Steroid use early in his weightlifting career, as well as nude pictures (and possibly more, as a kept man) done for gay men. Troubled marriage to Maria Shriver. Customer with Heidi Fleiss. Given to groping women--almost pathologically so. Engaged in orgies and other youthful hijinks when he was a competitive weightlifter. Pot user in his youth. I've heard a few stories about him being rude to or simply blowing off fans. Linked to Vanessa Williams.

Schwimmer, David. "Was the biggest asshole when Friends started, and still is. Very demanding and controlling." Linked to Minnie Driver, Natalie Imbruglia, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tara Reid, and Audrey Tatou.

Scott, George C. Linked with and physically abused Ava Gardner.

Scott, Randolph. Closet case. Linked with Mr. Blackwell, Cary Grant, Howard Hughes, and Lupe Velez.

Scott, Seann William. FOD, and quite the little minx in high school. Linked with the Rock and Justin Timberlake.

Seacrest, Ryan. "FOD and a BIG bottom." "He has such a larger than life ego that it's sickening." Linked with Jeff Probst.

Seagal, Steven. "Delusional" about his own importance. Deserves to be thrashed. Repeatedly. Jerk. Vain. Failed marriage with Kelly LeBrock, who he mistreated. Sexual harasser. Got in bed with the Mob in a business relationship and quickly regretted it. Violent toward the hookers he hires. Hits on underage girls.

Seger, Bob. Booze-bag, drug abuser, musical hack, beater of women, and repeat DUI offender.

Seinfeld, Jerry. Comedian who is humorless about his penchant for young/under-age women. Former $cientologist. Linked with Tawny Kitaen and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Selleck, Tom. Open conservativism + closet queen = hypocrisy. Has a penchant for the rough stuff.

Sellers, Peter. Difficult to work with. Unpleasant personality. Married to Britt Ekland. Linked with Mia Farrow, Sophia Loren, Princess Margaret, and Liza Minnelli.

Sennett, Mack. FOD.

Sevigny, Chloe. Cokehead.

Seymour, Jane. Reportedly demands the highest degree of pampering from movie & tv show producers.

Seymour, Stephanie. Had collagen injected into her lips; supposedly a plane ride made them explode. Linked with Warren Beatty and Axl Rose (who beat her).

Shaffer, Paul. FOD. (Or perhaps not. Accounts differ.) Not friendly to non-celebs.

Shakira. Diva. Hygienically challenged.

Shalhoub, Tony. Very, very nice man, great to work with, but very very insecure.

Shandling, Garry. "Neurotic and insecure to an insane degree." (Garry, we love you! Don't be so hard on yourself!) Linked with Calista Flockhart.

Sharif, Omar. Sexy man. Compulsive gambler. Linked with Ingrid Bergman, Dyan Cannon, Julie Christie, Catherine Deneuve, Ava Gardner, Sophia Loren, and Barbra Streisand.

Shatner, William. Bi______. Depending on who you talk to, either a humorless martinet and control freak (especially on the set of Star Trek) or a charmingly conceited man. Seems to have become more of the latter and less of the former in recent years. Alcoholic. Has used hookers in the past. Bad tipper.

Shearer, Norma. "Hot-blooded." Clark Gable, John Gilbert, Howard Hughes, JFK, Burgess Meredith, David Niven, George Raft, Mickey Rooney, Jimmy Stewart and Irving Thalberg.

Sheedy, Ally. Former bulimic, recovering drunk/drug addict. Poetaster. Bisexual. Linked with Woody Harrelson, Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, Richie Sambora, and Eric Stoltz.

Sheen, Charlie. Claims to be a born-again Christian; former (and possibly current) regular at Hollywood brothels and with Hollywood prostitutes. Never graduated from high school. Really bad poet. Treats his women badly. Drug user/abuser. Linked with Corey Haim (?!), Ginger Lynn, Kelly Preston, Denise Richards, and Winona Ryder.

Sheen, Martin. "Very genuine, very friendly and nice."

Sheila E. L______.

Shepherd, Cybil. Difficult to work with. A fun-lovin' gal while younger; engaged in a three-way at least once. Linked with Gloria Allred, Peter Bogdanovich, Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin, Don Johnson, Larry McMurtry, Elvis Presley, Burt Reynolds, and Bruce Willis.

Shields, Brooke. Very had to work for: "Nothing is ever good enough for Princess." Bi______. Bizarre and currently fractured relationship with her domineering mother. Claimed virginity long past anyone thought it likely or possible, especially those at Princeton who knew of her relationship with Dean Cain. Was paid by Michael Jackson and George Michael to act the beard for them. A harridan for a mother. Very friendly and polite in person. Also linked with Andre Agassi, Prince Albert of Monaco, Dodi al Fayeed, Woody Harrelson, John-John Kennedy, Julian Lennon, George Michael (beard duty), Liam Neeson, David Strickland, and John Travolta.

Shore, Pauly. Really is as stupid as he appears to be, and far more unpleasant. Customer at Heidi Fleiss' brothel.

Shue, Andrew. Linked with Courtney Thorne Smith.

Shue, Elizabeth. Hygienically challenged. Has begun acting increasingly erratic; "very cold and aloof to fans." "Nasty disposition."  Linked with Val Kilmer. Posed/poses for naughty pictures.

Siegfried and Roy. Semi-closeted FODs. Poor tippers.

Silverstone, Alicia. Insecure. Pothead. Rumored to be L____. "Hyper-neurotic vegetarian." "A member of the Forum, a $cientology-like cult." Linked with Benicio Del Toro, Brendan Fraser and Adam Sandler (oy, Alicia...).

Simmons, Gene. Slut; has nude pictures of over 1000 of his conquests. Good businessman. Linked with Cher, Liza Minnelli, Diana Ross, and Shannon Tweed.

Simmons, Richard. So far out he's on the other side. Stalker of Babs Streisand. Unrequited crush on David Letterman.

Simmons, Russell. Swinger with men and women. Linked with LL Cool J.

Simon, Carly. Linked with Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Kris Kristofferson, and James Taylor (who she is back together with)

Simon, Paul. Humorless personality. Failed marriage to Carrie Fisher. Currently married to Edie Brickell. Linked with Shelley Duvall and various nameless boys.

A Simple Plan. Sluts who tape their conquests.

Simpson, Jessica. The embodiment of "10 cent brain in a million dollar body," and not a particularly nice ten cents, either. (As in, not nice to people). Ketamine user.

Simpson, Orenthal James (OJ). Murdered his ex-wife and her bedmate-of-the-evening; bold-facedly lies about it. Either delusional or sociopathic. Anti-Semitic. Linked with Maude Adams and Tawny Kitaen.

Sinatra, Frank. Misogynist. Never graduated from high school. Pals with organized crime figures and made men; used his mob connections to get his role in From Here To Eternity. Mistreater of countless woman. Pimped for JFK & RFK. Marriages/affairs to Lauren Bacall, Jacqueline Bisset, Doris Day, Angie Dickinson, Marlene Dietrich, Patty Duke, Mia Farrow, Eva and Zsa Zsa Gabor, Ava Gardner, Judy Garland, Merv Griffin, Grace Kelly, Peggy Lee, Shirley Maclaine, Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak, Jackie O, Victoria Principal, Nancy Reagan (while in the White House, no less), Jill St. John, Elizabeth Taylor, Lana Turner, Gloria Vanderbilt, Tuesday Weld and Natalie Wood (while she was a teenager).

Singleton, John. Physically abused his wife. Slut. Slept with every extra he could lay his hands on at the set of Shaft.Linked with Tyra Banks.

Sinise, Gary. Former drug user. Says a former coworker: "Truly white trash. He and his wife were absolute pigs, and rather condescending."

Sisqo. Bi______. Travels with an interesting collection of sex toys.

Sizemore, Tom. Has probably spent more on prostitutes than I've made in the last ten years. Treats them badly, too--is into emotionally and physically abusing them. Wife-beater. Recovering heroin addict. Linked with (did not cheat on his wife with) Elizabeth Hurley and Heidi Fleiss.

Skye, Ione. Claims to have become a lesbian after divorcing Adam Horowitz. Linked with Jenni Shimizu.

Slater, Christian. Recovering and seemingly current alcoholic and drug user. Abuser of women. Linked with Christina Applegate, Patricia Arquette, Courtney Cox, Mary Stuart Masterson, Samantha Mathis, Winona Ryder, and Christy Turlington.

Smith, Anna Nicole, The Widow (TWANS). Never graduated from high school. Former prostitute & stripper; recovering (current?) alcohol & drug addict. Breast implants. Several beers short of a six-pack. Has had l______ affairs. Married an old man to get his money; a spendthrift. Just a sad, pitiful woman. Linked with Robin Leach and Donald Trump.

Smith, Bessie. Bi______.

Smith, Jeff (The Frugal Gourmet). Unpleasant, vain personality; sexual harasser and pederast.

Smith, Kevin. "Super nice guy." Hilarious story-teller. Always nice to fans.

Smith, Liz. L______. Does not write her own column.

Smith, Robert. Notoriously bad in bed.

Smith, Will. No longer refreshingly down-to-earth and unpretentious, his stardom has now gone to his head, and he's turned into a raging, vain asshole. "A swinger, along with his wife." Bisexual. Lying about his age. Linked to Jada Pinkett.

Smits, Jimmy. Possible drug abuse or AIDS or both. Linked with Jane Fonda.

Snipes, Wesley. Has used hookers in the past. Very bad tipper. May possibly be switch-hitting.

Solti, Sir George. "Hung like a horse and a darling of the divas."

Somers, Suzanne. Was victim of horrendous death threats from ABC for asking for more money after first season of Three's Company. Drug abuser.

Sorbo, Kevin. Playing for the home team.

Sorkin, Aaron. Recovering and struggling drug addict. (Of course, that's divine punishment for his abandoning Sports Night like he did.)

Sorvino, Mira. Reportedly difficult to work with. Refused to act alongside Ellen DeGeneres because she's afraid of somehow being linked with Ellen in the public's eye. Linked with Kevin Costner, Willem Dafoe, Val Kilmer, John Leguizamo, & Quentin Tarantino.

Soul, David. Wife-beater and necrophiliac. (so the rumor goes, anyhow)

Spacey, Kevin. Way back in the closet--behind your old sneakers--that's where Kevin's hiding. Likes his men young. Very young. Linked with Colin Farrell, Rupert Graves, Helen Hunt, Bebe Neuwirth, and Bryan Singer.

Spade, David. Highly neurotic and self-involved; filled with schadenfreude and ill-will for other comics.

Spader, James. No one will ever love James as much as James loves himself.

Spears, Britney. Very stingy (although I'm hearing reports that this is not always true). Breast implants; uses padded costumes to enhance the effect. Has been known to enjoy marijuana (and coke, and E, and etc etc etc) on occasion. Chain-smoker. Has let her fame go to her head and become a beeyotch. Per Justin Timberlake, her mouth was deflowered a long time before the rest of her body was; Justin dumped her once he was told--by Christina Aguilera, no less, if my source is to be believed--that she was shtupping their shared choreographer, Wade Robson. Also linked with Ben Affleck (who she shtupped while still seeing Timberlake), Colin Farrell, Jeff Gordon, Jared Leto, and Marcus Schenkenberg. (Gads, what horrible taste in men! Not a brain cell among them.) Also linked with Jenna Jameson. (Oh, the visuals from that one....)

Spelling, Tori. Hilariously bad actress using her father's money to buy herself a new nose, breasts and career. Sexually linked with her brother (yuch--that's so nasty on so many levels). Linked with Jean-Claude van Damme.

Spiner, Brent. Generally very nice and friendly to everyone. Reportedly linked with Gates McFadden, Marina Sirtis, and numerous others. Also reportedly a very closeted Friend of Dorothy.

Springfield, Rick. Physically abused his wife. Had an affair with a 15-year-old Linda Blair.

Stallone, Frank. $cientologist.

Stallone, Sly. Underendowed, and has a taste for prostitutes. Hard to work with. Crudely hit on and was humiliatingly dissed by Uma Thurman. Once dumped his wife via Fed-Ex. Starred in soft-core porn film. Has a bad bed-side manner. His hired help are not allowed to look at him during his parties. Into water sports (as if we couldn't think even less of Sly....) "Sly is a submissive crossdresser and leather opera glove fetishist." Linked with Pamela Anderson, Naomi Campbell, Janice Dickinson, Farrah Fawcett, Mary Hart, Brigitte Nielsen, and Janine Turner.

Stamos, John. Bisexual. Linked with Paula Abdul, Natasha Henstridge, Demi Moore, and Rebecca Romijn Stamos.

Stamos, Rebecca Romijn. Bi______. "Has one of the coolest down to earth personalities." Linked with John Stamos.

Stamp, Terence. Linked with Candice Bergen, Jacqueline Bisset, Julie Christie, and Joan Collins.

Stanwyck, Barbara. Married Robert Taylor in a beard-merkin arrangement. Linked with Jean-Pierre Aumont, Humphrey Bogart, Frank Capra, Gary Cooper, Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Glenn Ford, Edith Head, William Holden, Al Jolson, Elvis Presley, Nancy Sinatra, and Robert Wagner.

Steele, Danielle. Linked with George Hamilton.

Steenburgen, Mary. Married to Ted Danson; formerly married to Malcolm McDowell.

Stefani, Gwen. Playing for the hometeam. When with men, can only achieve satisfaction through anal sex. "Very insecure and neurotic." "A shoplifter and a hardcore bitch." Linked with Adam Duritz and Gavin Rossdale.

Stern, Howard. Reportedly nice guy despite his asshole act and demeanor. Separated from his wife, in part because of his monomaniacal work habits and in part because of his affair with a stripper. Linked with Angie Everhart and Robin Quivers.

Stevens, Connie. Linked with Eddie Fisher and John McCain.

Stevenson, Parker. FOD. Linked with Kirstie Alley.

Stewart, Jimmy. "He was a remarkable actor, but not a generous one." Linked with Olivia De Havilland, Marlene Dietrich, Jean Harlow, Rita Hayworth, Katharine Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Ginger Rogers, Simone Simon and Loretta Young.

Stewart, Kordell. FOD.

Stewart, Martha. Unpleasant personality. Said to have a taste for much younger men. Bisexual, and likes group sex. Tax-dodger. Inside trader.

Stewart, Patrick. Reportedly temperamental, although not to his fans, who he is quite charming to. Said to pack one of the largest weapons in Hollywood. Hits on everyone in sight. Possible involvement with Whoopi Goldberg.

Stewart, Rod. "The cheapest man in rock and roll." "Swaggering, pineapple-haired string bean." Vain; recovering (current?) drug addict. Possibly B_______. Bad, neglectful father. Was dumped and divorced by Rachel Stewart because he'd turned into a boring old fart. Linked with Britt Ekland, Kelly Emberg, Rachel Hunter, Mick Jagger, Kelly LeBrock, and Joanna Lumley.

Stiles, Julia. Has already, at her young age, learned the meaning of the word "unfaithful."

Stiller, Ben. "Uptight prick." Linked with Janeane Garofalo, Christine Taylor, and Jeanne Tripplehorn.

Sting. "Humorless prat." Hygienically challenged. Nice man. Good tipper. Swinger.

Stipe, Michael. Massive cokehead. Rumored to prefer the company of gentlemen, and is now admitting it. Hygienically challenged. "Vile creature...I watched him belittle a radio station worker unless she'd service some of the crew on the bus." (I've received some e-mails from people who challenge this, saying that it would be quite out of character for him). Bad tipper. Reportedly linked with Helena Christensen, Toni Collette, Stephen Dorf, Natalie Merchant (who apparently was quite unpleasantly obsessed with Stipe, and for a long time), River Phoenix, and Keanu Reeves.

Stoltz, Eric. Jerk. (Or, "He was really really nice to us and a HUUUUGE tipper.") Linked with Cher, Susanna Eng, Bridget Fonda, Helen Hunt, Laura Linney (he helped break up her marriage), and Ally Sheedy.

Stone, Oliver. Disingenuous drug fiend and alcoholic. Vain. Closet case. Regular at certain Hollywood brothels. Arrested for DUI. Has a thing for Asian women. Rent boy when he first came to Hollywood.

Stone, Sharon. "She had a mattress on her back to get to the top in Hollywood." Unpleasant personality--over-full of herself. Steals quotes and does not give attribution; steals jewelry and does not return it.  Given to quickly selecting and then rejecting men, based on what they can do for her and what & how much they can buy her. Difficult to work with. Has had a tendency to tv shop for her one night stands--sees them on tv, rents a room, and then has her selections told to meet her there. Poor tipper. Breast implants. Dope smoker. Power-obsessed. Used the casting couch to get roles and her way on the set. Linked with Prince Albert of Monaco, Adrien Brody, Russell Crowe, Dwight Yoakam and Dweezil Zappa; reportedly nailed Bill Clinton on election night.

Stowe, Madeleine. Married to Brian Benben.

Streep, Meryl. Linked with Ed Begley, Jr, Kevin Kline, Jack Nicholson, and Christopher Walken.

Streisand, Barbara. "Everything she sings is charged with self-loving vulgarity." Vain & egotistical harridan; legendary for being difficult to work with--perhaps the worst such in the history of Hollywood. Grotesquely bad taste in interior decorating. Notorious tightwad despite her wealth. Had a videotape of her having sex with two-bit actor James Brolin stolen from her house. Affairs with Andre Agassi, Warren Beatty, James Brolin, Richard Burton, Gary Busey, Bill Clinton,Clint Eastwood, Sam Elliott, Milos Forman, Richard Gere, Elliott Gould, Peter Jennings, Don Johnson, Kris Kristofferson, George Lucas, Liam Neeson, Ryan O'Neal, Elvis Presley, Robert Redford, Omar Sharif, Tommy Smothers, Pierre Trudeau and Peter Weller.

Sturges, Preston. Hated Aleister Crowley, who was involved with Sturges' mother.

Styx. "Stuck in the Seventies. Thought they were the hugest act in the world."

Sutherland, Kiefer. Bi______. Drunk. "A little distant. Has a temper." "Extremely shy, not 'distant.'" Linked with Jaid Barrymore, Sherilyn Fenn, Angelina Jolie, Michelle Pfeiffer & Julia Roberts.

Swain, Dominique. Playa.

Swank, Hilary. $cientologist. Married to Chad Lowe.

Swanson, Gloria. Linked with Wallace Beery, Joe Kennedy, Sr., and Ari Onassis.

Swanson, Kristi. Linked with David Spade. DUI.

Swayze, Patrick. $cientologist. FOD. Alcohol problem.

Tarantino, Quentin. Egotistical and unpleasant (although reportedly quite good at oral sex). Never graduated from high school. Crudely hits on many, many women. Admitted drug user (pot and E). Linked with Margaret Cho (who says he's great in bed) and Mira Sorvino (who QT didn't treat well).

Taylor, Elizabeth. Abused by her father (not sexually) as a child. Addicted to painkillers. Helped to ruin Richard Burton. Ambiguous/weird relationship with Michael Jackson. "Often tried to turn gay men straight, as with Monty Clift and Rock Hudson. She has been a life-long escort for gay men." Linked with Carl Bernstein, Montgomery Clift, Eddie Fisher, Malcom Forbes, George Hamilton, Rock Hudson, Peter Lawford, Victor Mature, Mickey Rooney, Frank Sinatra, and Rod Steiger.

Taylor, Lawrence. Cokehead.

Taylor, Nikki. "Dumb as dirt, but the sweetest, funniest, nicest girl."

Tesh, John. Vacant, vain talking head; talentless "musician." Germ-crazy.

Theron, Charlize. Enjoys "adult toys" and ganja and threesomes on occasion. Linked to David Arquette, Aaron Eckhart, George Clooney, Keanu Reeves, Stuart Townsend, and Dwight Yoakam.

Thicke, Alan. Pothead.

Thomas, Jonathan Taylor. FOD.

Thomas, Philip Michael. Difficult to work with. Conceited. (Though I'm told that recently he's become far more professional and accommodating). Wife-beater.

Thompson, Emma. Graceful ex-wife to Kenneth Branagh. For some years she tested Stephen Fry's celibate gay status by parading naked in front of him. Bisexual. Linked with Anthony Hopkins & Jonathan Pryce.

Thompson, Fred. Jerk.

Thorne Smith, Courtney. Linked with Andrew Shue.

Thornton, Billy Bob. Dumped his wife (who he abused both physically and emotionally) like a load of three-day-old shrimp once he got famous. Recovering anorexic. (There are conflicting accounts as to who is to blame for Thornton's divorce of his first wife; either he is physically and emotionally abusive or she is a violent psychopath and habitual liar) Drug user. Has a pathological fear of antiques and dirty silverware. "God, he's fuckin' batty, but he's just as nice as he can be." Linked with Laura Dern and Angelina Jolie.

Thurman, Uma. Never graduated from high school. Cokehead and alcoholic. Has enjoyed the favors of a number of men--a large number. Linked with Nicholas Cage, John Cusack, Robert De Niro, Robert Downey Jr, Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke (whose baby she bore), Timothy Hutton, Mick Jagger, Don Johnson, Judd Nelson, Gary Oldman (failed marriage), Brad Pitt, Sam Shepard, and Donnie Wahlberg.

Tiegs, Cheryl. Face lift.

Tilly, Jennifer. Very nice person.

Timberlake, Justin. A mental lightweight; "has become an asshole with fame." Bi______; "bottom, and a screamer." Smokes blunts (which Nelly introduced him to) and does a massive amount of coke. Linked with Christina Aguilera, Kate Bolin, Cameron Diaz, Enrique Igelsias (yum!), Janet Jackson, Alyssa Milano, Seann William Scott (at the VMAs), and Britney Spears.

Tomlin, Lily. Hollywood's most openly Closeted L_____, although she has now admitted it, openly, in at least one interview. Rude to her drivers. "Needs a little handholding sometimes but an absolutely LOVELY woman who was a breeze to work with." Linked with Dolly Parton.

Townsend, Stuart. "When he was briefly included in the cast of Lord of the Rings, he spent his evenings in bars.  When he spotted a lady he was interested in, he would walk up to her and say, 'I'm in Lord of the Rings, want to give me a blowjob?'"

Tracy, Spencer. Long-running affair with Katharine Hepburn while he was married; Catholic hypocrite who wouldn't divorce his wife during his affairs. Difficult to work with. Alcoholic. Linked with Ingrid Bergman, Joan Crawford, Judy Garland, Paulette Goddard, Grace Kelly, Nancy Davis Reagan, Gene Tierney and Loretta Young.

Travanti, Daniel. "Was known as "miss hoo-hoo" on the set of hill street blues because the moment the camera stopped rolling, the straight mask dropped."

Travis, Randy. FOD.

Travolta, John. Reportedly a nice man, but $cientologist and disingenuous about it. Reportedly a closet queen. Never graduated from high school. Difficult to work with. Linked with Gerard Depardieu, Richard Gere, Marilu Henner, Hugh Jackman (well, if so, John's got good taste in men, at least.) Olivia Newton-John, Kelly Preston (his wife and fellow $cientologist), Brooke Shields, and Debra Winger.

Trebek, Alex. "As smart as you'd think, but a bit imperious."

Triple H. (He's a wrassler). Bisexual. "Buggering all the McMahons."

Trump, Donald. Focus of evil in the modern world. Embodies much that is wrong with America. Short-fingered vulgarian. Linked with TWANS.

Trump, Ivanka (daughter). Bulemic.

Tucker, Tanya. Recovering/current drug and/or alcohol addict. Linked with Glen Campbell.

Turlington, Christy. "Self-righteous snob." Alternatively, "she was nothing less than lovely to work with. Patient, polite, and incredibly unpresumptuous." Linked with Ed Burns, Jason Patric, and Christian Slater.

Turner, Janine. Reportedly anorexic. Reportedly can be had as a kept woman for the right (high) price. A germophobe. Conservative Bush supporter. Formerly with Sly Stallone, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Troy Aikman, Mark Grace, Alec Baldwin. Currently with the son of Jerry Jones, Jr.

Turner, Kathleen. Drinking problem; may have fallen off the wagon, which is a shame if true.

Turner, Lana. Good mother; helped get her daughter off for the killing of Lana's mob-connected boyfriend. Linked with Desi Arnaz, Leonard Bernstein, Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Tommy Dorsey, Kirk Douglas, Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, Ava Gardner, John Garfield, Howard Hughes, Fernando Lamas, Peter Lawford, Dean Martin, Victor Mature, Tyrone Power, Mickey Rooney, Artie Shaw, Frank Sinatra, Robert Taylor, Mel Torme and Robert Wagner.

Turner, Tina. Lesbian post-Ike (quite understandable, if true).

Twain, Shania. Nasty personality. Former kept woman. Acted very badly iwhen she visited Australia a few years back.

Tyler, Liv. "A snob and a whinger." Emphatically enjoying her youth with nearly any cute boy or man within reach. Linked with Evan Dando, Joaquin Phoenix, and Bruce Willis.

Tyler, Stephen. Recovering drug addict; penchant for oral sex (giving) has led to std on his tongue and throat. Throws tantrums backstage if caterer screws up. May be so jaded, sexually, that he requires porn of young performers to arouse him.

Tyson, Mike. A good argument for retroactive abortion. Abuser of women and rapist. Failed marriage to Robin Givens. Linked with Naomi Campbell and Robin Givens.

Ullman, Liv. Linked with Warren Beatty, Ingmar Bergman, Jerry Brown, Henry Kissinger, and Gene Simmons (yes, the Gene Simmons of Kiss, BION).

Urban, Karl. "Extremely nice in person. Good with his fans."

Usher. Diva.

Valentino, Rudolf. "Hung like a cricket." Bisexual. Worked as an escort and was a kept man for a time before he made it big in Hwood. Incredible spendthrift. Linked with Marion Davies and Pola Negri.

Van Damme, Jean Claude. Hygienically challenged. Vain. Drug addict and alcoholic. FOD and reportedly HIV+, but thinks he's been cured by G-d. Hard to work with. Wife beater. "A cheap bully." Pays hookers to dominate him. Linked with Jewel and Tori Spelling.

Van Der Beek, James. Former escort. Closet case. One of his recent birthday presents was John Wesley Shipp's favors. Also linked with Katie Holmes.

Van Dien, Casper. "A lying, cheating dog." Physically abused his wife.

Van Doren, Mamie. Good old girl. Linked with Warren Beatty, Bo Belinski, Johnny Carson, Dick Contino, Tony Curtis, Jack Dempsey, Eddie Fisher, Rock Hudson, Tom Jones, Steve McQueen, Joe Namath, Jack Palance, Elvis Presley, and Burt Reynolds.

Vandross, Luther. FOD.

Van Johnson. FOD.

Van Morrison. "What a talent. What a singer. What a songwriter. What a pain in the arse."

Van Susteren, Greta. Vain. Dull. $cientologist.

Vaughn, Vince. Has a problem with the bottle. "Drunk, abusive, talented prick. Can be uncomfortably racist, sexist, and homophobic." And apparently has been seen hitting on men. Linked with Joey Lauren Adams, Cameron Diaz and Anne Heche.

Veidt, Conrad. Bisexual. Former transvestite and cocaine user.

Velez, Lupe. Former prostititute. Nymphomaniac. Committed suicide via choking on an overdose of pills. Linked with Charlie Chaplin, Gary Cooper, Jack Dempsey, Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Douglas Fairbanks Sr, Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, John Gilbert, Jack Johnson, Bert Lahr, Clayton Moore, Erich Maria Remarque, Edward G. Robinson, Randolph Scott, and Johnny Weissmuller.

Vereen, Ben. Nice guy, very good to his fans.

Vidal, Gore. FOD, and not secret about it. Nailed Jack Kerouac.

Vigoda, Abe. The demi-urge.

Villechaize, Herve. Alcoholic. Abuser of women and was abused by them.

Wagner, Jack. FOD

Wagner, Robert. Possible early same-sex affair with Clifton Webb and later one with Christopher Walken. Linked with Joan Collins, Stefanie Powers, Debbie Reynolds, Jill St. John, Barbara Stanwyck, Lana Turner, and Natalie Wood.

Wahlberg, Mark. Cokehead and booze-bag. Enjoys exposing himself in public places. Has anger-management problems. Biased against the Japanese and once took out the eye of an old Vietnamese man. Used to "beat fags" in Southie. Linked with Jessica Alba, Jordana Brewster, Gwyneth Paltrow, Winona Ryder & Uma Thurman.

Walken, Christopher. Happy pothead. (And according to one correspondent, hygienically challenged). Linked with Meryl Streep, Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood.

Walker, Alice. Playing both sides of the field. Linked with Tracy Chapman.

Walker, Paul. Bisexual. Hung. Linked with Tyrese.

Walters, Barbara. "Unpleasant, foul-mouthed, stingy." Self-centered, abusive towards her staff and to the crew of airplanes she's flying on, and cheap. No sense of humor, and hates being teased about "Baba Wawa." "Closeted lesbian of many years."

Ward, Sela. Linked with Richard Dean Anderson and Peter Weller.

Warhol, Andy. FOD.

Warner, Kurt. (QB of the St. Louis Rams) Anti-Semite.

Warwick, Dionne. Pot smoker. Lesbian; linked with Marlene Dietrich.

Washington, Denzel. Faithfulness to his wife is not a concept with which Mr. Washington is a familiar. Cruelly and quite chauvinistically crushed his wife's dreams of a singing career. Taps his female costars and then runs. Bisexual "but only when coked up."

Waters, John. FOD. Pope of Bad Taste.

Watts, Naomi. Linked with Nicole Kidman and Heath Ledger.

Wayne, John. Conservative; sometimes showed a refreshingly modest outlook & sense of humor, though. Alcoholic. Reported crossdresser. Had a weak spot for Latinas. Racist. Draft dodger during WW2. Got fooled by Christine Jorgensen (look it up, kids), hit on her, and nearly went on a date with her. Linked with Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Paulette Goddard, and Carmen Miranda.

Weaver, Sigourney. Very good with fans.

Webb, Jack. Any early (1946) crusader (via his radio show "One Out of Seven") against racial, ethnic, and religious prejudice. Raped Mamie van Doren and possibly other women.

Weinstein, Harvey. Hard to work for.

Weisz, Rachel. Linked with Darren Aronofsky and Sam Mendes.

Welch, Raquel. "Evil to the core." Breast implants and "silicone from the ankles up." Very difficult to work with; prima donna wannabe. Linked with Richard Burton.

Weld, Tuesday. Drunkard and drug abuser. Linked with Raymond Burr, Richard Gere, Dennis Hopper, Gary Lockwood, Sal Mineo, Dudley Moore, Ryan O'Neal, Al Pacino, Elvis Presley, and Frank Sinatra.

Welk, Lawrence. "A real hardass...cruel to the band members and other employees. A regular fascist."

Welles, Orson. Unhappy man who deserved better in life. Didn't treat his women well, though. Possibly the Black Dahlia murderer. Linked with Lucille Ball, Dolores Del Rio, Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland, Rita Hayworth, Billie Holliday. Eartha Kitt, Marilyn Monroe, and Gloria Vanderbilt.

Wells, Dawn. (You know, MaryAnn from Gilligan's Island) "A doll. Lovely woman, great sense of humor and very upfront. Very gentle and sweet."

West, Mae. Reported to be either a hermaphrodite or a very well-made up transvestite. (Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm not making this stuff up.) Liked daily high colonics. In her later years liked to enjoy the company of "large black men." Linked with Max Baer, Gary Cooper, Jack Dempsey, Duke Ellington, Cary Grant, Oscar Hammerstein, Harry Houdini, Jack Johnson, Joe Louis, David Niven, Anthony Quinn, George Raft, and Bugsy Siegel.

West, Shane. Bisexual. "Has a fetish for blood, and enjoys dressing in gothic attire during sex."

White, Betty. "Absolute sweetheart."

White, Vanna. Former kept woman. Intellectually challenged. Has had L_____ affairs; "gives the best head in Hollywood." Former regular at the Playboy Mansion, where she did just about everything imaginable. Hired hookers for three-ways with her husband. Linked with Corbin Bernsen.

Williams, Barry. Unpleasantly stuck-up over the Brady Bunch, all these years later.

Williams, Billy Dee. Abuser of women.

Williams, Kimberly. Linked with Pete Sampras.

Williams, Robbie. "FOD, camp muscle queen."

Williams, Robin. Recovering alcoholic & drug addict. Supposedly one of Hollywood's nicest men, although there are conflicting reports on this. Reportedly gave girlfriend VD. Reportedly hygienically challenged. "Borrows" jokes and shtick from other comedians.

Williams, Tennessee. FOD. Alcoholic.

Williams, Vanessa. Linked with Rick Fox, Michael Jordan, and Arnold Schwarzenegger (who she casting couched to get the role in Eraser).

Williamson, Kevin. FOD.

Willis, Bruce. His separation from Demi Moore was extremely bitter. Former bartender and reportedly a former male escort. Rumored to like boys, strippers, and group scenes. Generally vain & unpleasant person. Difficult to work with. Cheapskate (although, as is always the case with allegations like this, I've received a few reports to the contrary). Linked with Lara Flynn Boyle, Kim Cattrall, Milla Jovovich, Julia Roberts, Winona Ryder, and Liv Tyler.

Wilson, Luke. "Dumb. Very dumb." Linked with Drew Barrymore, Lauren Holly, and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Wilson, Owen. Has used hookers in the past, who report that he's great in bed. Heroin addict. Linked with Sheryl Crow, Susanna Eng, and Gina Gershon.

Winfrey, Oprah. Rumored to be a closeted L_____. Has used drugs in the past, but is not (reportedly) a recovering addict. Is very generous to her staff (although one e-mail correspondent told me that she's generous "only to a select few of her staff" and that she is not friendly to her studio audience or guests). Self-admittedly promiscuous as a teenager, and had an abortion while a teen. Refuses to give any more money to Tennessee State University after the TSU President ignored Winfrey's somewhat stringent conditions for accepting the money.

Winger, Debra. "Sad, lonely, sort of angry/mean and rather fearsome." Difficult to work with. Switch-hitter. Linked with Timothy Hutton, Bob Kerrey, Nick Nolte, Al Pacino, and John Travolta.

Winkler, Henry. "The nicest man in showiz" (although he did not conduct himself well during a Dallas radio telethon). Germophobe. Linked with Nancy Spungen.

Winslet, Kate. Acted very well toward non-celebs on a recent trip to Australia. Drug use. Linked with Leonardo DiCaprio and Sam Mendes.

Winters, Jonathan. Some have found him hard to work with. A logistics officer in Viet Nam described him as "a genuine guy who paid his own way to entertain the troops."

Winters, Shelley. Linked with Marlon Brando, Ronald Colman, Sean Connery, Robert De Niro, Albert Finney, Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, John Garfield, Sterling Hayden, William Holden, Howard Hughes, Burt Lancaster, Anthony Quinn, and Lawrence Tierney.

Witherspoon, Reese. Did not act well in the immediate wake of the 9/11 attacks. On-set is as nice as can be to work with and for. "Truly nice in person." "Absolute doll, very easy to work with." Linked with Ryan Philippe, who she does not treat well.

Wonder, Stevie. Slut. Gave his (now ex-) girlfriend herpes.

Wood, Elijah. A very nice man. FOD, seen with Franka Potente to forestall rumors of his liking men, specifically long-term partner Dominic Monaghan. I've recently received some reports of his flirting with women, which could be rumor control on his part or (in my view more likely) evidence that he's actually bisexual.

Wood, Natalie. Had trouble remaining faithful to her men. Raped by Kirk Douglas when she was 14. Linked with Warren Beatty, Jerry Brown, Raymond Burr, James Dean, Dennis Hopper, Tab Hunter, Steve McQueen, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Robert Wagner, and Christopher Walken.

Woods, James. Vain. Political fascist, and not an intelligent one, either. Difficult to work with. Abuser of women. Has a taste for multiples. Linked with Heather Graham, Dolly Parton, Nicollette Sheridan & Sean Young.

Woods, Tiger. Emotionally and mentally immature, for all his skill and composure on the golf course. Cheap and a bad tipper for all his millions. Greedy. Has a thing for gambling, strippers, hookers, and porn. Very rude to the little people. Has a jones for blonde white women. Lacks any kind of social conscience.

Wyle, Noah. Closeted FOD, or so the story goes. Also supposed to have a thing for older women.

Xuxa. Hates the kids on her show. Flashed some skin in a movie once, but never did porn. Linked to John-John Kennedy.

Yoakam, Dwight. Hygienically challenged. Emotionally (and possibly physically) abusive towards women. Hard to work with, and throws tantrums if his tea isn't fresh. Linked with Sheryl Crow, Karen Duffy, Bridget Fonda, Winona Judd, Sharon Stone, and Charlize Theron.

Young, Loretta. Sanctimonious goody-goody, but had a child by Clark Gable and claimed she adopted the child.

Young, Robert. Alcoholic.

Young, Sean. Difficult to work with. Pot user.

Young, Steve. Bisexual.

Zane, Billy. Hard to work with. Friendly to fans, though. Switch-hitter. Linked with Kate Moss.

Zappa, Dweezil. Linked with Sandra Bullock, Lisa Loeb & Sharon Stone.

Zellweger, Renee. Cokehead, and none too bright. (But nice nonetheless). Anorexic/bulimic. Supposedly worked as a stripper in Austin (Texas) for a time. Linked with Jim Carrey, George Clooney, and Jack White (of the White Stripes).

Zombie, Rob. A very nice man.


Feuds, Rivalries & Hatreds

Dan Ackroyd vs Woody Allen (Over Soon-yi)

Ben Affleck vs British royalty

Ben Affleck vs P. Diddy (Over Jennifer Lopez. Honestly, fellas, is that the best you can do?)

Ben Affleck vs Rob Schneider (B. said that "Pearl Harbor isn't like a Rob Schneider movie." R. responded, "Well, he's got that right. Mine's intentionally funny.")

Christina Aguilera vs Britney Spears (They just don't like each other. C. doesn't like B.'s teenybopper image, and B. envies C.'s superior talent. Oh, and reportedly C. told Justin Timberlake that B. was cheating on him, leading to the breakup.)

Christina Aguilera vs Eminem (He was nasty about her in a song)

Christina Aguilera vs Kelly Osbourne (KO called CA "one of the most disgusting human beings in the world." Harsh, if accurate)

Christina Aguilera vs Pink (CA thinks Pink is copying her. Ha).

Steve Allen vs Howard Stern (S. wanted to censor popculture. H. was agin’ it)

Tim Allen vs Jonathan Taylor Thomas (J. snubbed the finale of Home Improvement)

Woody Allen vs Bob Hope (W. decried B’s “laziness” as a performer and rather savagely sent him up in Annie Hall)

Kirstie Alley vs Christina Applegate (After C.’s show outperformed K’s, K tried to get WB execs to cancel C’s show)

Kirstie Alley vs Yasmine Bleeth (Random bitchiness, with Y mocking K’s weight)

Kirstie Alley vs Shelly Long (Alley was disdainful of Long's leaving Cheers)

Kirstie Alley vs Parker Stevenson (Bitter divorce)

Robert Altman vs. Donald Sutherland & Elliot Gould (They tried to get him fired from MASH)

Tiffani Amber-Thiessen vs Sarah Michelle Gellar (T. claims that SMG stole T.'s wedding plans via their mutual wedding planner)

Tori Amos vs Meat Loaf (ML deliberately misinterpreted TA's comments about her music and said that he wanted to "hit her" for her attitude. Charming)

Gillian Anderson vs David Duchovny (Too much time together on the set of X-Files; time has mostly healed this feud)

Gillian Anderson vs Sharon Stone (Source of this remains unclear, but S. was talking about G. when she said she'd never work with a tv actress again)

Pamela Anderson vs Kim Cattrall (P. is a PETA member; K. loves leather, fur, and fishing)

Pamela Anderson vs Jenny McCarthy (Rivalry over similar roles)

Paul Thomas Anderson vs David Blaine (over Fiona Apple)

Jennifer Aniston vs Howie Mandel (He dared ask her about Brad Pitt)

Jennifer Aniston vs Gwyneth Paltrow (G. angry at J. for Brad Pitt leaving her for her)

Jennifer Aniston vs Britney Spears (B. made public moves on Brad, which J. took exception to)

Jennifer Aniston vs Reese Witherspoon (J. was horrible to R. on the set of Friends; most likely due to J.'s jealousy/insecurity towards R.)

Fiona Apple vs Bloodhound Gang (B.G. had some crude things to say about F.A., and she, humorless as ever, did not take them well)

Fiona Apple vs Janeane Garofalo (J. criticised one of F.'s typically vacuous screeds; F. called J. a "cowardly bitch")

Fiona Apple vs Dennis Leary (D. criticised one of F.'s typically vacuous screeds, making F. cry)

Fiona Apple vs Ozzy Osbourne (He mocked her in a bit of music video trickery)

Darren Aronofsky vs Brad Pitt ('cause Pitt destroyed DA's project The Fountain)

David Arquette vs Rosie O'Donnell (R. just thinks that D. is an idiot, and has said so publicly. The evidence seems to bear her position out)

Bea Arthur vs Betty White (Bad blood from the Golden Girls set)

Fred Astaire vs Ginger Rogers (G. always felt that F. grabbed too much credit for what they achieved together)

Fred Astaire vs John Travolta.

Lauren Bacall vs Frank Sinatra (Sinatra being a boor)

Burt Bacharach vs Whitney Houston (W. was on drugs during an Oscar rehearsal, so B. fired her)

Backstreet Boys vs *NSYNC (Really, who cares why they hate each other? I just want to see them fight it out with pungi stakes)

Kenny (R2D2) Baker vs Anthony (C3PO) Daniels (Stupid, petty ego clash)

Rick Baker vs Jim Carrey (RB took exception to JC's constant complaints and whining on the set of Grinch)

The Baldwin Brothers vs Kim Basinger (for alleging that Alec hit her)

The Baldwin Brothers vs Leo DiCaprio (because LD skipped the Baldwins' charity event in Vegas)

Lucille Ball vs Joan Crawford

Drew Barrymore vs Robert Downey, Jr. (D. criticized R. for his drug use)

Drew Barrymore vs Christian Slater (D. criticized C. for his drug use)

Drew Barrymore vs Penny Marshall (D. pissed P. off with her unprofessional behavior on the set of Driving in Cars with Boys)

Kim Basinger vs Jack Nicholson (Bad on-set relations on Batman)

Bee Gees vs Robbie Williams (The Bee Gees hated R.’s version of “I Started A Joke”)

Harry Belafonte vs Colin Powell (Belafonte called Powell a sell-out. What he should have said is that Powell tried to cover up the My Lai massacre, the swine)

Candace Bergen vs Steve McQueen (Bad on-set relations on The Sand Pebbles)

Sandra Bernhard vs Tom Cruise (She's disdainful of his closeted act)

Sandra Bernhard vs Ellen Degeneres

Sandra Bernhard vs Courtney Love

Sandra Bernhard vs Madonna

Halle Berry vs Angela Bassett (AB slammed Monster's Ball because AB thought HB's character was demeaning to black women)

Halle Berry vs Howie Mandel (He made a comment about her auto "accident." She did not take this well)

Juliette Binoche vs E!'s Giuliana (G made the mistake of not seeing JB's film and asking her questions about it)

Mr. Blackwell vs. Anne Robinson (He pointed out that she's badly dressed. He's right)

Mary J. Blige vs Queen Latifah (Mysterious hotel fight–lovers’ quarrel?)

Blur vs the Spice Girls (B. slagged the Girls off in the papers)

Dirk Bogarde vs Judy Garland (Bad on-set relations on I Could Go On Singing)

Humphrey Bogart vs Audrey Hepburn (He was jealous of her on the set of Sabrina)

Humphrey Bogart vs William Holden (Bad on-set relations on Sabrina)

Humphrey Bogart vs Ida Lupino (Bad on-set relations on High Sierra)

Humphrey Bogart vs Billy Wilder (Over Bogart’s anti-Semitism)

David Bowie vs Kula Shaker

Boy George vs Janet Jackson ('cause JJ recorded a song with a venomous homophobe)

Boy George vs George Michael (Random bitchiness)

Boy George vs Oasis (Random bitchiness)

Boy George vs Gavin Rossdale (BG outed GR, to GR’s anger)

Lara Flynn Boyle vs David E. Kelley (LFB really didn't take being fired from The Practice kindly)

Marlon Brando vs Bob Hope (BH mocked MB at the Oscars)

Marlon Brando vs Val Kilmer (Val did his usual shtick on the set of Island of Dr. Moreau)

Brandy vs Whitney Houston (W’s jealousy over B’s success)

Brandy vs Monica (They fought backstage at the MTV Video Music Awards in 1998)

Toni Braxton vs Beyonce Knowles & Jay-Z (T. claims the pair plagiarized one of her singles)

Christie Brinkley vs. Hillary Clinton (Over petty things)

Matthew Broderick vs Greta van Susteren (He tweaked her for her cosmetic surgery. She fired back at his troubled marriage)

Albert Brooks vs Adam Sandler (Albert Brooks correctly noted how shallow and vapid Sandler’s “comedies” are)

Pierce Brosnan vs Sean Connery (Despite S’s public statements he doesn’t think P does a good job as Bond)

Helen Gurley Brown vs Tina Brown (Duelling egos)

William F. Buckley vs Gore Vidal (Homophobia, pure and simple. Plus Buckley's envy over Vidal's superior talent)

Sandra Bullock vs Julia Roberts (S.B. took Benjamin Bratt's side in the Roberts-Bratt breakup)

David Byrne vs the rest of Talking Heads (Bad musical breakup)

Richard Burton vs Michael Caine (Caine is jealous that he never received the credit that Burton did)

James Caan vs Bette Midler (Bad on-set relations on For The Boys)

Nicholas Cage vs Stephen Baldwin (S. pointed out that Cage isn’t a good actor)

Nicholas Cage vs Sean Penn (Penn made some indiscreet, albeit accurate, comments about Cage's "acting")

Dean Cain vs Teri Hatcher (Really did not get along on the set of Lois and Clark)

James Cameron vs Kate Winslet (Cameron, that asshole, called Winslet “Kate Weighs-a-lot”)

Naomi Campbell vs Tyra Banks (N is jealous of T)

Naomi Campbell vs Bijou Phillips (Over Sean Lennon)

Naomi Campbell vs PETA (First she didn't wear fur, then she did)

Mariah Carey vs Christina Aguilera

Mariah Carey vs Sandra Bernhard (S was scornful of M in one of S’s shows)

Mariah Carey vs Cameron Diaz (Diaz doesn't think much of Carey's music, and says so)

Mariah Carey vs Jennifer Lopez (Jealousy)

Mariah Carey vs Mira Sorvino (Bad on-set relations on Wise Girls)

Mariah Carey vs Sharon Osborne (SO referred to MC's breast job, which MC didn't like)

Johnny Carson vs Joan Rivers (He feels she betrayed him)

David Caruso vs Kim Delaney (On-set friction)

Cast of Friends vs Matt LeBlanc (ML was the first to get a tv project after Friends and developed an attitude about it)

Jackie Chan vs Jet Li (at least since High Risk, when JL played the bodyguard of a JC-like character--but I'm sure the feud predates that)

Chevy Chase versus the cast of Saturday Night Live (CC was a prick toward them)

Cher vs Oprah (O. bushwhacked C. on her show with a clip of C. at Sonny Bono's funeral)

Cher vs Sonny Bono (A marriage gone wrong)

Chow Yun Fat vs Mira Sorvino (Sorvino was snotty towards Chow during the making of Replacement Killers)

Chumbawumba vs Prodigy (Uppity lefties vs. "there's nothing wrong with 'smack my bitch up' lyrics" morons)

George Lucas vs Connie Chung (Chung recorded unflattering comments about Lucas before and after an interview she did with him.)

Connie Chung vs Barbara Walters & Diane Sawyer (CC feels that the pair had a lot to do with CC’s ouster from CBS)

Dick Clark vs the Grammys (DC feels that the Grammys blacklist performers who appear on his show)

Bill Clinton vs Jodie Foster & Robert Zemeckis (Clinton was upset that his image was used without his permission in Contact)

Bill Clinton vs Al Gore (The incompetent and feckless Gore wasted all that Clinton had done and ran such a bad campaign that George W. Bush actually got elected. And that's why we should all be against Al Gore)

Hillary Clinton vs Richard Gere (Over what RG said about Bill Clinton)

George Clooney vs that atrocious asshole Simon Coward, er, Cowell (Clooney sees right through Cowell's act)

George Clooney vs Hard Copy & Entertainment Tonight (Clooney was upset over tabloid tv)

George Clooney vs Charlton Heston (GC, attacking CH's loony gun position, mocked CH's Alzheimers, which really isn't very cool)

George Clooney vs Bill O'Reilly (O'Reilly is scum. That's all the reason any of us need)

Claudette Colbert vs Veronica Lake vs Paulette Goddard (Bad on-set relations on So Proudly We Hail)

Toni Collette vs Mandy Patinkin (MP once slapped TC during Wild Party rehearsals)

Joan Collins vs Frank Langella (Duelling egos)

Chris Columbus vs Michael Jackson (CC warned MJ to stay away from Daniel Radcliffe, of the Harry Potter films)

Sean Connery vs Stephen Norrington (Bad on-set relations on LXG)

Alice Cooper vs Marilyn Manson (A., a born-again Xian, is offended by M.'s shtick)

Billy Corgan vs Black Crowes (General musical bitchiness)

Billy Corgan vs Courtney Love (Friendship/romance gone wrong)

Billy Corgan vs Green Day (General musical bitchiness)

Bill Cosby and the cast of The Cosby Show vs Lisa Bonet (L. has always been an ingrate towards B., who gave her far too many chances)

Bill Cosby vs Wanda Sykes (He dogged her during the Emmys)

Katie Couric vs Ann Coulter (Because Coulter is an evil nitwit and Couric is not)

Katie Couric vs Diane Sawyer (Duelling egos)

Courtney Cox vs Rosie O'Donnell (Over the "dippy" David Arquette. What a thing to fight over....)

Wes Craven vs Madonna (A feud over W's 50 Violins)

Joan Crawford vs Bette Davis (Bad on-set relations on Whatever Happened to Baby Jane)

Joan Crawford vs Mercedes McCambridge (J was jealous of how much the crew liked M on the set of Johnny Guitar)

Joan Crawford vs Elizabeth Taylor (General bitchiness)

Creed vs Limp Bizkit (Duelling egos from two groups who are in denial about their mediocre talents)

David Crosby vs 'NSync and Britney Spears (Old fart Crosby disdainful of modern bubblegum music. Pot, kettle, black)

Russell Crowe vs Joan Collins (J. dogged Russell's looks)

Russell Crowe vs Denzel Washington (Washington refused to shake Crowe's hand backstage at the Oscars)

Russell Crowe vs Moby (R. manhandled Moby for presuming to use the same men's room as R. What a jerk!)

Penelope Cruz vs Nicole Kidman (Over Tom Cruise, of all things!)

John Cusack vs. George W. Bush (Because Cusack is a right-thinking gentleman who sees Dubya for the religious fascist that he is)

John Cusack vs Demi Moore (J. vocally disapproved of Indecent Proposal and of Moore for being in it; this stems back to bad relations on the One Crazy Summer set)

John Cusack vs Michael Moore (because MM didn't support the Democrats during the last election)

Matt Damon vs Russell Crowe (R. made a pass at Winona Ryder, who at the time was dating Damon)

Matt Damon vs. Chris O'Donnell (M dogged C’s partying behavior)

Matt Damon vs Annie Leibowitz and Vanity Fair (AL took MD’s picture when MD didn’t want to be photographed; VF then ran the photo)

Matt Damon vs Jennifer Lopez (Reportedly over Damon's girlfriend, who is Ben Affleck's personal assistant. But we all know what this is really about, don't we, Matt?)

Matt Damon vs Charlie Sheen (M dogged CS’s partying behavior)

Claire Danes vs Kate Beckinsale (Bad on-set relations on Breakdown Palace)

Claire Danes vs Leonardo DiCaprio (Because Leo, that asshole, treated her horribly. If G-d is just, always a dodgy proposition, Leo will be treated equally badly someday)

Tony Danza vs Bill Clinton (Danza disapproved of Clinton's behavior in office)

Tony Danza vs Ellen DeGeneres (TD attacked Ellen’s open display of affection with Anne Heche. But then, Danza’s a moron, so this should surprise no one)

Darkness vs Radiohead (Darkness think Radiohead's boring)

Bette Davis vs Faye Dunaway (Bad on-set relations)

Bette Davis vs Errol Flynn (Bad on-set relations on Elizabeth and Essex)

Bette Davis vs Glenn Ford (He acted badly on the set of Pocketful of Miracles)

Bette Davis vs Lillian Gish (Bad on-set relations on The Whales of August)

Judy Davis vs David Lean (Bad on-set relations on A Passage To India)

Doris Day vs Kirk Douglas

Judi Dench vs Gwyneth Paltrow (Gwyneth displayed her considerable ego and counter-impressed Dame Dench)

Robert De Niro vs Dustin Hoffman (Bad on-set relations on Wag the Dog)

Bob Denver vs Tina Louise (Bad on-set relations on Gilligan’s Island)

Johnny Depp vs Roman Polanski (Bad on-set relations on The Ninth Gate)

Alan Dershowitz vs Woody Allen (Dershowitz disapproved of Woody's statutory rape)

Cameron Diaz vs Matt Dillon (Bad break-up)

Cameron Diaz vs Bill Murray (Diaz acted badly on the set of Charlie's Angels)

Leonardo DiCaprio vs Ellen Barkin (Bad on-set relations on This Boy’s Life)

Leonardo DiCaprio vs Martin Scorsese (Bad blood from the set of Gangs of New York)

Leonardo DiCaprio vs Alicia Silverstone (It was hate at first sight)

Andy Dick vs Chris Kattan (A. was offended by C.'s imitation of him on SNL)

Bo Diddley vs Will Smith (Bo was scornful of W’s “Gettin’ jiggy with it”)

P. Diddy vs Pink (she slammed his rapping "ability")

Marlene Dietrich vs Madonna (Marlene felt Madonna was stealing her act)

Celine Dion vs Mariah Carey (One of Celine’s #1 hits was pulled back because it was in danger of passing Mariah’s record for weeks at #1)

Shannon Doherty vs the cast of Charmed & W.B. (Because Doherty acted like an asshole. Quelle surprise, non?)

Shannon Doherty vs Paris Hilton (SD thinks that PH broke up SD's marriage--as if SD needs any help in that department)

Shannon Doherty vs Matthew Perry (Bad break-up)

Shannon Doherty vs Tara Reid

Shannon Doherty vs Molly Ringwald (A little matter of one’s parties making it impossible for the other to find parking spaces)

Bob & Libby Dole vs George W. Bush (Because Dubya is a conniving, backstabbing weasel with the heart of a serial killer)

Kirk Douglas vs Burt Lancaster (Duelling egos)

Michael Douglas vs Sean Young (Bad on-set relations on Wall Street)

Robert Downey, Jr. vs Woody Allen (WA misled RD about being in a film just for the publicity)

David Duchovny vs Madonna

David Duchovny vs Robert James Waller (Because Duchovny suffered through Waller's book)

Hilary Duff vs Avril Lavigne (HD criticized AL when AL slammed her own fans for dressing like her)

Robert Duvall vs Russell Crowe (Crowe wouldn’t do one of Duvall’s films)

Robert Duvall vs France (RD doesn’t like the superior attitude of some French)

Anthony Edwards vs Eriq LaSalle (LaSalle acted badly on the set of ER)

Eminem vs Ben Affleck (Eminem being a jerk)

Eminem vs Fred Durst (Eminem being a jerk)

Eminem vs Everlast (Eminem being a jerk)

Eminem vs Whitney Houston (Eminem being a jerk)

Eminem vs Moby (is it a feud when one member, Eminem, is completely beneath the other?)

Eminem vs Britney Spears (Eminem being a jerk)

Eminem vs Justin Timberlake (Eminem being a jerk)

Susanna Eng vs Russell Crowe (Duelling egos)

Susanna Eng vs Peter Jackson (SE had some very unpleasant things to say about PJ)

Erik Estrada vs Larry Wilcox (The post-Chips years were not kind to Wilcox, while Estrada's ego has grown along with his waistline)

Joe Eszterhas vs Mike Ovitz (Duelling egos)

Robert Evans vs Francis Ford Coppola (Disputed credit over the Godfather)

Robert Evans vs Dustin Hoffman (Clashing egos)

Everclear vs Bush (Talent vs pretense and ego. If Bush is never heard from again G-d will have that much less reason to kill us all)

Everclear vs No Doubt (Talent vs hacks)

Rupert Everett vs Pierce Brosnan (Brosnan's homophobia)

Rupert Everett vs Mariah Carey

Rupert Everett vs Colin Firth (They just don't seem to get along)

Rupert Everett vs Hugh Grant (Duelling egos)

Colin Farrell vs Bruce Willis (BW kept forgetting his lines on the set of Hart's War)

Farrah Fawcett vs Raquel Welch (Duelling egos)

Corey Feldman vs Ben Affleck (CF being jealous)

Corey Feldman vs Matt Damon (CF being jealous)

Corey Feldman vs Marilyn Manson (CF showing discernment)

Corey Feldman vs Dennis Miller (CF showing discernment)

Fergie vs Queen Elizabeth ('cause the Queen is an uptight hag who never enjoyed life and doesn't like when others do)

50 Cent vs Ja Rule (does it really matter?)

Carrie Fisher vs Eddie Fisher (he was a lousy dad)

Carrie Fisher vs Harrison Ford (he was a schmuck towards her after their so-brief affair)

Peter Fonda vs Dennis Hopper (Long-time friendship ruined because of money)

Joan Fontaine vs Cary Grant (Bad on-set relations on Suspicion)

Joan Fontaine vs Olivia De Havilland (O. was angry that J. got the role in Rebecca that O. wanted--but it all goes back to sibling jealousy)

Joan Fontaine vs Laurence Olivier (L. was angry that J. got the role in Rebecca over Olivia de Havilland)

Foo Fighters vs Bush (Duelling egos)

Harrison Ford vs Anne Heche (Ford's homophobia)

Harrison Ford vs George W. Bush (HF noting that Dubya's environmental "policy" is designed to destroy it and enrich Dubya's handlers)

Harrison Ford vs Brad Pitt (Bad on-set relations on The Devil’s Own)

Harrison Ford vs Sean Young (Bad on-set relations on Blade Runner)

Jodie Foster vs Michael Douglas

Jodie Foster vs Whitney Houston (Part of a lover’s triangle with Kelly McGillis)

Vivica Fox vs 50 Cent (Bitter break-up)

Jamie Foxx vs Spike Lee (SL called African-American sitcoms ‘minstrel shows.’ JF took exception to that)

Jamie Foxx vs David Letterman (Foxx being a jerk)

Jamie Foxx vs LL Cool J (Jamie, don't even think about this one. Just shut up, already. LL is far cooler than you can dream of)

John Frankenheimer vs Val Kilmer (Val did his usual shtick on the set of The Island of Dr. Moreau)

Aretha Franklin vs Gladys Knight (Duelling egos)

Liam Gallagher vs Noel Gallagher (Brotherly hate)

Liam Gallagher vs Keith Richards (Mouthy little punk LG slagged off the Stones as not being as "hard" as creampuff-like Oasis)

Noel Gallagher vs George Michael (N. points out that G.'s attempt at social commentary is hypocritical)

Noel Gallagher vs Michael Stipe (Duelling egos)

Noel & Liam Gallagher vs the Rolling Stones (Duelling egos)

Vincent Gallo vs Roger Ebert (RE pimp-slapped The Brown Bunny in his review, VG lapsed into childish name-calling, and then RE pimp-slapped VG again in response)

Vincent Gallo vs Anjelica Houston (Gallo being a prick)

Vincent Gallo vs Winona Ryder & Kirsten Dunst (VG claims to have fired both from The Brown Bunny, and then heaped abuse on both in interviews)

James Gandolfini vs HBO (Over money)

James Gandolfini vs Uma Thurman & Ethan Hawke (Over a failed business deal)

Greta Garbo vs Marlene Dietrich

Leif Garrett vs Britney Spears (L thinks BS is out of control, and said so)

Marvin Gaye vs Diana Ross (DR vocally disapproved of MG's use of pot in the studio)

Bob Geldof vs Michael Hutchence/Paula Yates (Because Yates was a complete nutter)

Sarah Michelle Gellar vs Neve Campbell (Matthew Perry was cheating on SMG with Neve)

Sarah Michelle Gellar vs the cast and crew of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (SMG acted the diva on-set, did not invite anyone from the show to her wedding, never praised her co-stars, rubbed her film success in the faces of the other actors, and never announced to them that she was leaving the show--they had to find out about it through the media)

Sarah Michelle Gellar vs Alyson Hannigan (Gellar is jealous because Alyson is well-liked on the Buffy set, and SMG is not)

Sarah Michelle Gellar vs Matthew Perry (Matthew Perry cheated on SMG with Neve Campbell)

Sarah Michelle Gellar vs Julia Roberts

Sarah Michelle Gellar vs Kerri Russell (SMG was scornful of Kerri's distasteful sexual boasts)

Sarah Michelle Gellar vs the Spice Girls (Random bitchiness)

Sarah Michelle Gellar vs Britney Spears (SMG kept BS from appearing on Buffy)

Mel Gibson vs. Bono (Bono thinks that Mel buried The Million Dollar Hotel, which Bono was involved with)

Mel Gibson vs Richard Chamberlain (MG thinks RC was trying to out him in an interview. I don't buy it, but who knows what goes through men's minds?)

Mel Gibson vs the Vatican (M., despite being a Catholic, doesn't think much of the Vatican)

John Gielgud vs Laurence Olivier (Just didn’t like each other)

Kathy Lee Gifford vs Regis Philbin (Bad on-set relations, although, really, neither one is anything approaching, oh, what's the word I'm looking for, nice)

Kathy Lee Gifford vs Howard Stern (He never tired of pointing out her flaws)

Kathy Lee Gifford vs Ivana Trump (The company that publishes Ivana’s magazine published reports of KLG’s cheating husband)

Melissa Gilbert & Mike Farrell vs Fred Savage, Valerie Harper, Elliott Gould, and Kent McCord (Stupid, petty S.A.G. stuff)

Terry Gilliam vs Robert DeNiro (Bad on-set relations on Brazil)

Danny Glover vs Spike Lee (DG dogged Spike’s movies)

Whoopi Goldberg vs Halle Berry (HB snubbed WG at the 2002 Oscars, not mentioning WG during her acceptance speech)

Whoopi Goldberg vs Oprah Winfrey (W tweaked O’s ego)

William Goldman vs Martin Scorsese (WG called MS an ape and a lousy storyteller in a Variety article)

Bobcat Goldthwaite vs Jay Leno (BG did his shtick on Leno’s show. Leno didn’t like it)

Bobcat Goldthwaite vs Steve Martin (Comedians' rivalry)

Bobcat Goldthwaite vs Jerry Seinfeld (B decried J’s $cientology and “porking teenage girls”)

Elliot Gould vs Jerry Lewis (Duelling egos)

Kelsey Grammar vs Howard Stern (Because Stern poked humorless fun at Grammar, who was not amused)

Hugh Grant vs Tom Cruise (Grant was scornful of Cruise appearing shirtless on magazine covers. Said it wasn't 'manly.' I couldn't make this up if I tried)

Brian Austin Green vs the cast of 90210 (Because he's a punk, and showed that side to the other cast members)

Green Day vs Creed (Duelling egos)

Green Day vs Third Eye Blind (Duelling egos)

Pam Grier vs Spike Lee (P gave S a piece of her mind over S criticizing Tarantino for his use of the N-word)

Kathy Griffin vs Stephen Baldwin, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Liza Minelli, Sharon Stone, and Barbara Walters (All are fodder for KG's stand-up act)

Merv Griffin vs Donald Trumph (Real estate and ego clash)

John Grisham vs Oliver Stone (G, that hypocritical moron, wanted O charged for violence with Natural Born Killers)

Charles Grodin vs Mia Farrow (Old feud. I’m not sure there really was one incident that started it)

Charles Grodin vs Rush Limbaugh (Grodin has the good judgment to see what a horrible person Rush is)

Charles Grodin vs Howard Stern (Articulate literacy versus the cause of the downfall of American society)

Dave Grohl vs Bush (Duelling egos)

Dave Grohl vs Courtney Love (Fighting over the corpse of Kurt Cobain and the profits to be made from Nirvana's catalogue)

Justin Guarini vs Kelly Clarkson (Jealousy. Does anyone want to bet me that in two years no one will remember who Justin Guarini was? Anyone?)

Bob Guccione Sr vs Bob Guccione Jr (Loathesome son versus contemptible father)

Alec Guinness vs Laurence Olivier

Bryant Gumbel vs Katie Couric (Because Katie's adorable and well-liked, so of course Gumbel had to treat her badly)

Sammy Hagar vs Van Halen (Hagar's departure was, shall we say, not amicable)

Bug Hall (Alfalfa on Little Rascals) vs Everyone (*Everybody* hated Alfalfa on Little Rascals - his mom was a pscyho)

Tom Hanks vs Bill Clinton (Hanks disapproved of Clinton's behavior while in office. If Tom Hanks disapproves of your behavior, you might as well kill yourself)

Tom Hanks vs 20th Century Fox (T. was unhappy with the "marketing" Fox did for That Thing You Do)

Woody Harrelson vs John Travolta (W. criticized $cientology to J's face, which J, of course, didn't take well)

Ed Harris vs George Bush (EH criticized Dubya's anti-abortion position)

Richard Harris vs Michael Caine (R. accused M. of ruining his talent through drinking)

Richard Harris vs Kevin Costner (RH felt that KC, in Dances With Wolves, stole scenes from A Man Called Horse)

Richard Harris vs Tom Cruise (RH, rightly, felt that TC overestimates his own importance)

Richard Harris vs Ian McKellen, Derek Jacobi & Kenneth Branagh (R. described them as "passionless" and Branagh as "mediocre")

George Harrison vs nearly every modern musician & band (George never quite got over being a member of the Beatles and couldn't credit modern musicians with being any good)

George Harrison vs Sean Penn (GH produced Shanghai Surprise)

Rex Harrison vs Charlton Heston (Duelling egos)

David Hasselhoff vs Yasmine Bleeth (Bad on-set relations on Baywatch)

Salma Hayek vs Jennifer Lopez (Duelling egos)

Teri Hatcher vs the rest of the cast of Lois and Clark (She was a stuck-up snot while there)

Goldie Hawn vs Bette Midler (Hawn was very unprofessional on the set of First Wives Club)

Nigel Hawthorne vs Sly Stallone and Wesley Snipes (They did not favorably impress him on the set of Demolition Man)

Patricia Heaton vs the Osbornes (PH thinks the show was "vulgar and disgusting"). (Because, after all, Everybody Loves Raymond was such a bastion of culture and taste, so obviously PH knows whereof she speaks).

Patricia Heaton vs Michelle Pfeiffer (P. essentially called M. a liar over M.'s claims never to have had plastic surgery)

Don Henley vs Courtney Love & Rush (Henley being a prick, as usual)

Buck Henry vs Mel Brooks

Katharine Hepburn vs John Barrymore (Bad on-set relations on A Bill of Divorcement)

Katharine Hepburn vs Glenn Close and Meryl Streep (KH bad-mouthed them in her final autobiography)

Katharine Hepburn vs Sharon Stone (KH was critical of Basic Instinct)

Charlton Heston vs Alec Baldwin (Conservative gun fanatic versus leftie gun control fan)

Charlton Heston vs Jane Fonda (Political stuff)

Charlton Heston vs Barbara Streisand (Political stuff)

Jennifer Love Hewitt vs Christina Aguilera (CA thinks there's something wrong with JLH going out with white men, and said so)

Christopher Hitchens vs Martin Amis (MA alleges that Western leftists ignored Stalin's crimes and singled out CH; CH correctly points out that MA is not just in error, but is embarassing himself)

Dustin Hoffman vs George Bush (Over Dubya's reprehensible "presidency")

Dustin Hoffman vs Bob Hope

Hootie & the Blowfish vs Spin magazine (Hootie didn't like Spin's coverage)

Anthony Hopkins vs Jodie Foster (A.H. wasn't happy that Jodie wouldn't do Hannibal)

Anthony Hopkins vs Merchant & Ivory (The latter are cheap)

Anthony Hopkins vs Quentin Tarantino

Whitney Houston vs Lauryn Hill (I got this one from Ted Casablanca. Ask him what caused the feud)

Whitney Houston vs Janet Jackson (WH stole a movie role from JJ, JJ put the moves on WH’s husband)

Whitney Houston vs Madonna (Duelling egos)

Whitney Houston vs the rest of the cast of Waiting to Exhale (W.H. was in full diva mode on the set)

Rock Hudson vs James Dean (Didn’t get along on the set of Giant)

Rachel Hunter vs Tara Reid (T. hit on Robbie Williams. R. didn't appreciate that)

Rachel Hunter vs Rod Stewart (Acrimonious divorce)

Elizabeth Hurley vs C. Thomas Howell (Bad on-set relations on Mad Dogs and Englishmen)

Elizabeth Hurley vs Gwyneth Paltrow (Duelling egos)

Elizabeth Hurley vs Julia Roberts (E was jealous of J during the shooting of Notting Hill)

Chrissie Hynde vs Carly Simon (Hynde got drunk and embarassed herself while insulting Simon)

Ice-T vs OJ Simpson ('cause Ice sees that O.J. is a psycho)

Enrique Iglesias versus Julio Iglesias (Weird jealousy and competition thing between the two of them)

Natalie Imbruglia versus Kelly Osbourne (KO alleges that NI was a "very big bitch to me" when they met)

Don Imus vs Bill Clinton ('cause Imus disapproved of Clinton's behavior in office)

Don Imus vs Howard Stern (They're competitors, and Stern has always been a putz about his competitors)

Jeremy Irons vs Tina Brown

Janet Jackson vs Mariah Carey (Duelling egos)

Joshua Jackson vs James Van Der Beek (Quarreling over Katie Holmes. Plus JVDB is a schmuck, which J.J. is not)

Michael Jackson vs Boy George (BG recently scared MJ with a stunt)

Michael Jackson vs Corey Feldman (C. thinks M. turned into a megalomaniac. What, you're only noticing that now?)

Michael Jackson vs Sony (MJ feels Sony sabotaged his career)

Michael Jackson vs Steven Spielberg

Samuel L. Jackson vs Spike Lee (SLJ claimed that Quentin Tarantino made “blacker” films than SL)

Kevin James vs Leah Remini (Duelling egos on King of Queens)

Wyclef Jean vs Lauryn Hill (Bad Fugees experience for L.H.)

Wyclef Jean vs Michael Jackson (Only M. knows the reason for this one. W. sure doesn't.)

Norman Jewison vs Joan Rivers (JR claimed that NJ treated his mistress, JR’s pal, badly)

Billy Joel vs Christie Brinkley (Bitter divorce)

Elton John vs David Bowie

Elton John vs Madonna (Among other things, because EJ called "Die Another Day" "the worst Bond tune of all time")

Elton John vs Keith Richards (Random bitchiness)

Angelina Jolie vs Winona Ryder (A.J. was underwhelmed by W.R. when they acted together)

James Earl Jones vs Spike Lee (JEJ thinks SL is a publicity-chasing loudmouth.)

Jon Bon Jovi vs Demi Moore

Judge Wapner vs Judge Judy (JW thinks JJ is rude and a bad judge)

Harvey Keitel vs Edward James Olmos (Over Lorraine Braco)

Harvey Keitel vs Lorraine Braco (Bad break-up)

David E. Kelley vs Holland Taylor (Kelley's ego got in the way of recognizing Taylor's talent)

Patsy Kensit vs Liam Gallagher ('cause he's an asshole)

Chaka Khan vs Bill Clinton (She disapproved of his thing with Monica Lewinsky)

Kid Rock vs Tommy Lee (Over Pamela Anderson)

Val Kilmer vs Marlon Brando (Bad on-set relations on The Island of Dr. Moreau)

Val Kilmer vs Michael Douglas (They rubbed each other the wrong way on the set of Ghost and Darkness)

Val Kilmer vs Elizabeth Shue (Bad on-set relations on The Saint)

Val Kilmer vs Christian Slater (They fell out while working together on We Believe in God)

Jimmy Kimmel vs Harrison Ford and Rosie O'Donnell (JK doing drive-by slagging)

Steven King vs Nicholson Baker (King accurately described Baker's work as 'literary nail-trimmings.')

Sam Kinison vs Whoopi Goldberg (He was a sexist, racist, homophobe. That's reason enough)

Klaus Kinski vs Werner Herzog (Kinski was just awful to work with)

Nastassja Kinski vs Klaus Kinski (He was a bad father to her)

Suge Knight vs Snoop Dogg and P. Diddy (East Coast-v-West Coast hip hop feud thing)

Anna Kournikova vs Liz Hurley (A. called L. "ugly"--shouldn't you be concentrating on your tennis career, you skank?)

Anna Kournikova vs Venus & Serena Williams (A.K. is a conceited punk. The Williams sisters are even worse. Naturally, they don't get along)

Lisa Kudrow vs the rest of the cast of Friends (They've grown tired of her attitude & complaining about Phoebe not having a man)

K.D. Lang vs Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera and Shania Twain.

K.D. Lang vs Melissa Etheridge (KD cuckolded ME with ME's then-life partner)

Matt Lauer vs Bill O'Reilly (Does anyone really need a reason to dislike Bill O'Reilly?)

Dino De Laurentiis vs Jodie Foster (Because Foster wouldn’t act in Hannibal)

Simon Le Bon vs John Taylor (Clashing egos)

John Le Carre vs Salman Rushdie (Le Carre disgraced himself by siding against Rushdie during l'affaire Satanic Verses)

Spike Lee vs the makers of Barbershop (SL thinks that the film shouldn't have mocked Rosa Parks or MLK Jr.)

Spike Lee vs Black Entertainment Television (SL notes, correctly, that BET is not a serious or respectable network)

Spike Lee vs James Cameron (S doesn’t think much of J as a director)

Spike Lee vs Jonathan Demme (Because J dared to direct Beloved)

Spike Lee vs Cuba Gooding Jr (S was angry at C’s 1997 Oscar speech. S mocked C in Bamboozled)

Spike Lee vs Charlton Heston (Over gun control)

Spike Lee vs Tommy Hilfiger (Because S buys into the lie that Hilfiger made racist comments)

Spike Lee vs George Lucas (Because of the loathsome Jar-Jar Binks)

Spike Lee vs Eddie Murphy (Because EM is responsible for The PJs, which Spike said “shows no love for black people”)

Spike Lee vs Ving Rhames (S thought poorly of V giving his Golden Globe to Jack Lemmon)

Spike Lee vs Will Smith (S is angry at W for playing Matt Damon’s caddy in a movie and because W chose Michael Mann to direct Ali)

Spike Lee vs Steven Spielberg (S thinks Spielberg has a double standard between movies about blacks and movies about Jews)

Spike Lee vs Quentin Tarantino (S.L. was offended by the use of the N-word in Pulp Fiction)

Spike Lee vs Robert Townsend (S.L. was offended that another black writer/director/actor was successful)

Julian Lennon vs Yoko Ono (Julian feels that Yoko ruined his dad)

Vivian Leigh vs Marlon Brando (V. found Brando “repulsive” on A Streetcar Named Desire)

Vivian Leigh vs Clark Gable (V. thought C. was smelly and vain, C. thought V was a foul-mouthed brat)

Vivian Leigh vs Lee Marvin (V disapproved of L’s drinking on-set on Ship of Fools)

Annie Lennox vs Elton John (AL gave a scathing interview about EJ)

David Letterman vs Cher (Because she called him an 'asshole' on set)

David Letterman vs Madonna

Barry Levinson vs Stephen Spielberg (BL feels that SS sabotaged An Everlasting Piece so that SS could get a knighthood)

Jerry Lewis vs Abbott & Costello (J. thought the pair were mediocre. He’s right.)

Jerry Lewis vs Dean Martin (It was an ego thing)

Jerry Lewis vs every comedienne living and dead (He said that women aren't funny and don't make good comedians)

Li'l Kim vs Jennifer Lopez (L called J a “gold-digger”)

Lucy Liu vs Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Bill Murray (Liu acted badly on the set of Charlie's Angels)

Lucy Liu vs Calista Flockhart (Jealousy over Ally McBeal stuff)

Lucy Liu vs Thandie Newton (T blamed L for the on-set tension on Charlie’s Angels)

Lindsay Lohan vs Hilary Duff (Over Aaron Carter. Good grief, I'd think a blowup doll with a carrot attachment would be more satisfying and provide more intellectually stimulating company)

Jennifer Lopez vs Toni Braxton (TB was furious when someone compared her voice to JLo's, and said so)

Jennifer Lopez vs Claire Danes (J doesn’t think C is much of an actress)

Jennifer Lopez vs Cameron Diaz (J doesn’t think CD is much of an actress)

Jennifer Lopez vs Woody Harrelson (J got annoyed with W’s jerk shtick)

Jennifer Lopez vs Salma Hayek (J accused S of being a liar)

Jennifer Lopez vs Madonna (J doesn’t think M is much of an actress)

Jennifer Lopez vs Jack Nicholson (JL thinks JN is an egomaniac. In this case she’s right)

Jennifer Lopez vs Rosie O'Donnell

Jennifer Lopez vs Gwyneth Paltrow (J doesn’t think G is much of an actress)

Jennifer Lopez vs Winona Ryder (J doesn’t think W is much of an actress)

Jennifer Lopez vs Wesley Snipes (J got annoyed at W’s constant passes at her)

Jennifer Lopez vs Britney Spears (B. kept J. waiting for a half-hour once, years ago. How dare she?)

Courtney Love vs Fiona Apple (Oh, there are any number of reasons for this one)

Courtney Love vs Drew Barrymore (CL acted very childishly during Drew's marriage to Tom Green)

Courtney Love vs The Cranberries (CL was nasty about them)

Courtney Love vs Madonna (Friendship gone bad)

Courtney Love vs Alanis Morrissette

Courtney Love vs Charlize Theron (Bad on-set relations on Trapped)

Courtney Love vs Donatella Versace

Rob Lowe vs the cast of West Wing (He acts like a diva on the set)

Susan Lucci vs Sarah Michelle Gellar (Long-running feud from their acting days together)

Lorna Luft vs Charlton Heston (She dislikes the NRA)

John Lydon vs Liam Gallagher (Lydon slagged Oasis in print)

John Lydon vs most rap artists (Lydon went on, at length, about what crap rap is)

Norm MacDonald vs Don Ohlmeyer (Ohlmeyer essentially had MacDonald thrown off of Saturday Night Live)

Shirley Maclaine vs David Letterman (DL badgered SM about her reincarnation claims)

Shirley Maclaine vs Debra Winger (Bad on-set relations on Terms of Endearment)

Madonna vs Sandra Bernhard (Ruined friendship)

Madonna vs Boy George (He made fun of her in his musical Taboo)

Madonna vs Anthony Burgess (AB, of Madonna: “the bland leading the blind.”)

Madonna vs Celine Dion

Madonna vs Cher

Madonna vs Rupert Everett (Friendship gone bad)

Madonna vs Mick Jagger

Madonna vs Gwen Stefani (M feels GS is copying everything she does)

Madonna vs Sly Stallone

Madonna vs Gwen Stefani (M feels GS is stealing her act)

Bill Maher vs Chevy Chase (Chase acted like a humorless prick, and Maher called him on it)

Bill Maher vs Ted Koppel (BM pointed out that TK estimates himself a little too highly)

Bill Maher vs Sophia Loren (BM said that SL is repulsive because she’s old. Not one of BM’s brighter moments)

Camryn Manheim vs Monica Lewinsky (Manheim disapproved of Lewinsky's behavior with Clinton)

Man Show "Juggies" vs Joe Rogan and Doug Stanhope (the girls know what the rest of us see: that these two are loser assholes)

Marilyn Manson vs Courtney Love (Manson picked a fight for the publicity.)

Marilyn Manson vs Moby (Moby saw MM being an asshole and called him on it)

Marilyn Manson vs Christina Ricci (MM being an asshole)

Marilyn Manson vs Spin Magazine (MM roughed up Spin’s editor)

Shirley Manson vs Jennifer Lopez (SM pointed out that JL is acting like a diva)

Julianna Marguiles vs Steven Seagal (Seagal acting like a prick on the set of Out for Justice)

Steve Martin vs Mel Gibson (SM savaged MG over the anti-Semitic Passion in the New Yorker)

Walter Matthau vs Babs Streisand (Bad on-set relations on Hello Dolly)

Chris Matthews vs Ted Koppel (Duelling journalistic egos)

Andrew McCarthy vs Vincent D'Onofrio (On the set of Criminal Intent D'Onofrio acted like a boor toward McCarthy)

Paul McCartney vs Michael Jackson (Because Jackson bought the Beatles catalogue and began peddling it for commercials)

Paul McCartney vs Oasis (P’s jealousy over Oasis’ making money from the musical corpse of the Beatles)

Paul McCartney vs Phil Spector (PM hated what PS did to “The Long And Winding Road”)

Eric McCormack (Will) vs Debra Messing (Grace) (He's well-liked on the set. She's a shrill, humorless, self-important shrew who thinks she's above such things as palling with crew members)

Matthew McConaughey vs P. Diddy (P was angry that MM kissed J.Lo in The Wedding Planner)

Frank McCourt vs Richard Harris (Harris vehemently disliked McCourt's depiction of Ireland in Angela's Ashes)

Rose McGowan vs Woody Allen (Over Soon-yi)

Rose McGowan vs most everyone involved with the Lilith Fair (Rose being an asshole)

Ewan McGregor vs Minnie Driver (E doesn’t think much of M’s relentless pursuit of fame)

Natalie Merchant vs Courtney Love (CL wasn’t upbeat enough about the Lilith Fair)

George Michael vs Whitney Houston

Bette Midler vs Cher (Long-time feud)

Bette Midler vs Shelley Long (Bad on-set relations on Outrageous Fortune)

Bette Midler vs Barry Manilow (Because Barry dared leave Bette as her back-up pianist).

Bette Midler vs Ken Wahl (Bad on-set relations on Jinxed)

Alyssa Milano vs Shannon Doherty ('cause Doherty acted badly on the set of Charmed)

Ray Milland vs Marlene Dietrich (Bad on-set relations on Golden Earrings)

Dennis Miller vs Rush Limbaugh (Asshole vs asshole)

Dennis Miller vs Norman Mailer (Over politics)

Liza Minnelli vs Tony Roberts (Bad on-set relations on Victor/Victoria)

Kylie Minogue vs Britney Spears (KM is jealous of BS’ fame)

Joni Mitchell vs Jackson Browne (Ill-will from the break-up of their relationship)

Joni Mitchell vs Kurt Cobain (JM said that KC wrote bad songs and set a bad example for today’s youth)

Robert Mitchum vs Shelley Winters (Bad on-set relations on Night of the Hunter)

Marilyn Monroe vs Tony Curtis (Bad on-set relations on Some Like It Hot)

Marilyn Monroe vs Clark Gable (M was very unprofessional on the set of The Misfits)

Marilyn Monroe vs Jack Lemmon (M was very unprofessional on the set of Some Like It Hot)

Demi Moore vs Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz (Bad on-set relations on Charlie's Angels 2 and for not properly supporting the film)

Van Morrison vs Bruce Springsteen (Jealousy on V’s part)

Morrissey vs the Smiths (Bad blood after their separation)

Kate Moss vs Claudia Schiffer (Duelling models’ egos)

Motorhead vs WASP (Let’s hope they both kill each other, eh?)

Kate Mulgrew vs Robert Beltran (Beltran criticized the writing on ST:Voyager. Mulgrew didn’t like that)

Eddie Murphy vs David Spade (DS mocked EM on SNL)

Bill Murray vs Chevy Chase (Bad on-set relations on SNL)

Bill Murray vs Dustin Hoffman (Bad on-set relations on Tootsie)

Dave Navarro vs Fiona Apple (He was creepy towards her, verging on stalking)

Martina Navratilova vs Michael Jordan (Because she thinks he should have done more--i.e., done just about anything--to help anyone other than himself and his bank account)

Thandie Newton vs Marky Mark (Bad on-set relations on What About Charlie)

Jack Nicholson vs Angelica Huston (Bitter separation)

Stevie Nicks vs Madonna (SN thought that the Madonna-Britney kiss was "the most obnoxious moment in television history." Me, I'd rank the kiss as much less obnoxious than any moment on television when Nicks speaks, but what do I know?)

Oasis vs Blur (Oasis being assholes)

Oasis vs Chumbawumba (Duelling egos)

Joyce Carol Oates vs Truman Capote (He said of her: "[She] is a joke monster who ought to be beheaded in a public auditorium ... To me, she's the most loathsome creature in America. I've seen her, and to see her is to loathe her. To read her is to absolutely vomit.”)

Carroll O’Connor vs Norman Lear (Bad on-set relations on All in the Family)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Woody Allen (Over Soon-yi)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Bill Clinton (He disgusts her for all the obvious reasons)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Bryant Gumbel (Does anyone need a reason to hate Bryant Gumbel?)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Anne Heche (R finds A not gay enough)

Rosie O’Donnell vs Charlton Heston (Over the NRA and guns)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Michael Jackson (For all the obvious reasons)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Liza Minnelli (Liza backed out of Rosie's final show to do The View)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Kelly Ripa (KR went public with it being Rosie who humiliated Susan Lucci)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Joan Rivers (Rosie thinks Joan is mean-spirited, and said so.)

Rosie O’Donnell vs Tom Selleck (Over guns; Rosie was rude to Tom about that on her show)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Sharon Stone (Random bitchiness)

Rosie O'Donnell vs Oprah Winfrey (Jealousy is an ugly thing)

Gary Oldman vs Winona Ryder (They hated each other on the set of Dracula)

Tatum O'Neal vs John McEnroe (Bitter divorce)

Laurence Olivier vs Marilyn Monroe (Bad on-set relations on The Prince and the Showgirl)

Laurence Olivier vs Merle Oberon (Bad on-set relations on Wuthering Heights)

Yoko Ono vs George Harrison, Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr (The classic pop music feud)

Bill O'Reilly vs Ann Coulter (Duelling egos)

Bill O'Reilly vs Rolling Stone

Tony Orlando vs Wayne Newton (Business deal gone very wrong)

Sharon Osbourne vs Billy Corgan (ill feelings from the Smashing Pumpkins)

Sharon Osborne vs Sting (over Sting's wife)

The Osbournes vs Bill Cosby (BC criticized the family as "sad")

The Osbournes vs Ted Nugent (Nugent, asshole that he is, described Ozzy as a "blithering, hopeless idiot," and Ozzy & Sharon returned fire)

Donny Osmond vs Marie Osmond (Sibling rivalry)

Peter O'Toole vs Michael Caine (O'Toole agrees with Richard Harris that Caine frittered his talent away with booze)

Al Pacino vs Francis Ford Coppola (Bad on-set relations on Godfather III)

Al Pacino vs Keanu Reeves (Bad on-set relations)

Camille Paglia vs Ralph Fiennes (She described him as ‘antiseptic’)

Gwyneth Paltrow vs Minnie Driver (Over Matt Damon, of all things)

Gwyneth Paltrow vs Joseph Fiennes (Bad on-set relations on Shakespeare in Love)

Gwyneth Paltrow vs Jennifer Lopez (Over Ben Affleck! Girl, please!)

Sarah Jessica Parker vs Kim Cattrall vs Cynthia Nixon vs Kristen Davis (After six years nobody likes anybody on the set of Sex and the City)

Mandy Patinkin vs Pat Benatar

Mandy Patinkin vs the Chicago Hope cast & crew (He was a complete schmuck during his tenure on the show)

Sean Penn vs Bill O'Reilly (Duelling egos)

Sean Penn vs Howard Stern (Duelling egos)

Matthew Perry vs Matt LeBlanc (Bad on-set relations on Friends)

Matthew Perry vs Salma Hayek (Did not get along at all when they acted together)

Brad Pitt vs Tom Cruise (Bad on-set relations on Interview with the Vampire)

Brad Pitt vs Harrison Ford (Bad on-set relations on The Devil’s Own)

Roman Polanski vs Faye Dunaway (Bad on-set relations on Chinatown)

Roman Polanski vs John Travolta (Bad on-set relations on The Double, and Roman trashed $cientology)

Kelly Preston vs Lisa Marie Presley ($cientology feud)

Andre Previn vs Woody Allen (Over Woody & Andre’s daughter, Soon-Yi)

Princess Diana vs Elton John, Fergie, and many others (Princess Di being unable to cope with less than total devotion)

Prodigy vs Madonna (Duelling egos)

Prodigy vs Rolling Stone magazine (Prodigy were upset over a RS feature on them)

Prodigy vs Spice Girls (Duelling egos)

Dennis Quaid vs Russell Crowe ('cause Crowe cuckolded Quaid with Meg Ryan)

Dan Quayle vs Friends ('cause Quayle is a nit-wit)

Tony Randall vs Glenn Close (Duelling egos from their Broadway years)

Sally Jesse Raphael vs Rush Limbaugh (Long-running feud between competitors and political opposites)

Dan Rather vs Diane Sawyer (Duelling egos)

Dan Rather vs Morley Safer (Duelling egos)

Robert Redford vs Ben Bradlee (Bad on-set relations on All the President’s Men)

Robert Redford vs Courtney Love (Because Redford’s Sundance Film Festival threatened to show the anti-Courtney documentary)

Vanessa Redgrave vs Lynn Redgrave (Sibling hatred)

Keanu Reeves vs Henry Rollins (Bad on-set relations on Johnny Mnemonic)

Keanu Reeves vs Charlie Sheen (CS made some snarky comment about KR's acting ability)

Carl Reiner vs Procter & Gamble (P&G were idiots about The Dick Van Dyke Show)

Burt Reynolds vs Kathleen Turner (Bad on-set relations on Switching Channels)

Debbie Reynolds vs Liza Minelli (Liza pulled out of one of Debbie’s charity events at the last minute)

Trent Reznor vs Courtney Love (Duelling egos)

Ving Rhames vs Oliver Stone (Bad on-set relations on Any Given Sunday)

Christina Ricci vs Courtney Love (CR was critical of CL’s cosmetic surgery)

Keith Richards vs Mick Jagger (Duelling egos)

Keith Richards vs Oasis

Alan Rickman vs John Malkovich (JM, that pud, insulted AR's acting ability)

Geraldo Rivera vs Christiane Amanpour (Professional rivalry spiced by Geraldo’s braggadocio)

Joan Rivers vs Gillian Anderson (Rivers, that hag, was nasty about Gillian's outfit at the Oscars)

Joan Rivers vs Kathy Bates (Joan being an ass, as usual)

Joan Rivers vs Cher (Joan being an ass, as usual)

Joan Rivers vs Geena Davis (Joan being an ass, as usual)

Joan Rivers vs Janeane Garofalo (Joan being an ass, as usual)

Joan Rivers vs Madonna (Joan being an ass, as usual)

Joan Rivers vs Helen Mirren (Joan was quite crass and obnoxious to HM during the Oscars)

Joan Rivers vs Staff of 60 Minutes (She was obnoxious to them when they shared the same building)

Eric Roberts vs Julia Roberts (Long-running sibling feud)

Julia Roberts vs George W. Bush (Political stuff)

Julia Roberts vs Nick Nolte (Bad on-set relations on I Love Trouble)

Julia Roberts vs Stephen Spielberg (Bad on-set relations on Hook)

Edward G. Robinson vs George Raft (Bad on-set relations on Manpower, and the pair were rivals for Marlene Dietrich’s affections)

Chris Rock vs Matt Drudge (Because MD lied about supposed anti-American content in Head of State)

Dennis Rodman vs Carmen Electra (Bad breakup)

Dennis Rodman vs Oprah Winfrey (O disapproved of D’s freakshow act)

Mimi Rogers vs Michelle Pfeiffer.

Al Roker vs Good Morning America (Duelling egos)

Rolling Stones vs David Letterman

Henry Rollins vs Steven Seagal.

Ray Romano vs the cast of Everybody Loves Raymond (RR made no friends during his contract negotiations)

Axl Rose vs Slash (Duelling egos)

Roseanne vs Mr. Blackwell (He was critical of how she dressed)

Roseanne vs the British Royal Family (She described them as a "trailer park family")

Roseanne vs Jodie Foster (JF wasn’t happy when R outed her)

Diana Ross vs Mary Wilson (Bad relations from when they sang together)

Mickey Rourke vs Nicole Kidman (MR has this nutty idea that NK barred him from In The Cut)

Winona Ryder vs Russell Crowe (He kept hitting on her, and she kept saying no.)

Winona Ryder vs Richard Gere (Bad on-set relations.)

Winona Ryder vs Rosie O'Donnell (R slagged her but good in one of R's tirades)

Winona Ryder vs Gwyneth Paltrow (G stole the part in Shakespeare in Love away from W)

Bob Saget vs Norm Macdonald (B dogged N on Stern’s show)

Pat Sajak vs Rosie O'Donnell (P was critical of R and her supposed world-saving goals)

Adam Sandler vs Winona Ryder (Bad on-set relations on Sandler’s latest)

Susan Sarandon vs Jacqueline Bisset (SS somewhat inexplicably being a bitch to JB)

Diane Sawyer vs Barbara Walters (Duelling egos)

Diane Sawyer vs 20/20 staff (Sawyer was hard to work with)

Claudia Schiffer vs Naomi Campbell (NC was unforgivably nasty to CS)

Claudia Schiffer vs Chanel & Stella Tennant (CS was bitter at being dumped by Chanel for Stella Tennant)

Maria Schneider vs Bernardo Bertolucci (MS felt ill-used by BB during shooting of Last Tango in Paris)

Rob Schneider vs Justine Bateman & Ron Eldard (JB & RE claim that RS drove them off of Men Behaving Badly)

Joel Schumacher vs Val Kilmer (Val did his usual shtick on the set of Batman Forever)

Joel Schumacher vs Howard Stern (Stern being a jerk, as usual)

Patti Scialfa (Mrs. Bruce Springsteen) vs Norah Jones (PS being a particularly graceless bad loser over NJ beating Bruce Springsteen at the Emmys)

Martin Scorsese vs Oliver Stone (O. criticized M’s Kundun)

Stephen Seagal vs Julianna Margulies (Bad on-set relations on Out for Justice)

Chloe Sevigny vs Kate Hudson (CS called KH’s style ‘boring’)

Chloe Sevigny vs Gwyneth Paltrow (CS dogged GP’s personal ‘style’)

Chloe Sevigny vs Charlize Theron (CS called CT ‘tacky’)

The crew of Shaft vs Samuel L. Jackson (SLJ, alas, did not act well on-set)

Omar Sharif vs Babs Streisand (Bad on-set relations on Funny Girl)

Al Sharpton vs Jesse Jackson (Duelling egos)

Al Sharpton vs Michael Jackson (MJ attacked Tommy Mottola, which Big Al took exception to)

William Shatner vs the rest of the cast of Star Trek (The Original Series) (The man was an egomaniac in those days)

Ally Sheedy vs Demi Moore (Break-up bitterness, and A criticized D for marrying Bruce Willis for money rather than love)

Every Sheen in existence vs Rob Lowe (Rob’s ego couldn’t take Martin Sheen being larger than him on West Wing. The Sheens took exception to Rob’s complaints)

Charlie Sheen vs Rosie Perez (CS said that her voice would drive him to heroin)

Charlie Sheen vs Eric Stoltz

Martin Sheen vs George W. Bush (Over politics and what Dubya is doing to the U.S. and the world)

Brooke Shields vs Andre Agassi (Bitter breakup)

Brooke Shields vs James Woods (Woods made some gratuitously nasty comments about her)

Elizabeth Shue vs Oprah Winfrey (Oprah showed Shue's first acting job [a fast food commercial] on Oprah's show. Shue was embarassed by that)

Richard Simmons vs Eddie Murphy (Despite his public averrals Simmons wasn't thrilled with Murphy's impersonation of him)

Richard Simmons vs Howard Stern (Stern made homophobic comments about Simmons)

Frank Sinatra vs Joe DiMaggio (Sinatra hit on Marilyn Monroe, DiMaggio's ex-wife. DiMaggio didn't like that)

Frank Sinatra vs Peter Lawford (Frank thought Lawford betrayed him by being friendly to JFK)

Frank Sinatra vs Sinead O'Connor (Over her refusal to sing the American national anthem)

Frank Sinatra vs Robert Redford (Sinatra had a nasty comment to make about Redford's ego)

Nancy Sinatra vs Connie Chung (Chung referred to Frank Sinatra's "boozing and womanizing," and Nancy took exception to this)

Nancy Sinatra vs Elizabeth Taylor (Over ET's comments that Frank Sinatra refused to help gays who had AIDS)

Isaac Bashevis Singer vs Barbra Streisand (Singer hated what Streisand did to his story "Yentl." So did the rest of us).

Bryan Singer vs the cast of X-Men 2 (Singer acted badly and unprofessionally)

John Singleton vs Samuel L. Jackson (Jackson got irritated at Singleton's whoring about and generally unprofessional behavior on the set of Shaft)

Siouxsie Sioux vs Courtney Love (S dogged C’s cosmetic surgeries)

Tom Sizemore vs Val Kilmer (Didn't get along when they acted together)

Jaclyn Smith vs Kathie Lee Gifford (J criticised KLG for KLG’s clothing being made in sweatshops)

Kevin Smith vs Linda Fiorentino (LF acted the diva on the set of Dogma)

Kevin Smith vs Jon Peters & Tim Burton (K loathed what Peters and Burton did to Batman)

Tom Smothers vs Dick Smothers (Sometimes brothers don't love each other as much as they should)

Patty Smythe vs Bono (P. didn’t like U2's cover of one of her songs)

Tom Snyder vs Craig Kilborn (Random bitchiness)

Elke Sommer vs Zsa Zsa Gabor (Random bitchiness)

Paul Sorvino vs Billy Corgan (B. insulted Mira Sorvino. Father Paul didn’t take that well)

Kevin Spacey vs Sandra Dee (SD is angry that KS wants Drew Barrymore to play SD in a Bobby Darin biopic)

Kevin Spacey vs RuPaul (RuPaul wants Kevin to come out of the closet)

David Spade vs Robert Downey, Jr. (D had no sympathy for R’s umpteenth drug bust)

Britney Spears vs Beyonce (The aptly initialed BS thinks that morals mavens should go after Beyonce instead of her. As if).

Britney Spears vs Sarah Jessica Parker (Parker wouldn't let Spears appear on Sex and the City, because Parker is jealous, insecure, and aging, and Spears is young and attractive)

Aaron Spelling vs Shannon Doherty (He gave her many chances, and she misused every one of them)

Spice Girls vs David Beckham (DB played Yoko Ono)

Spice Girls vs Ginger Spice (Bad breakup)

Spice Girls vs Oasis (Noel Gallagher thought they were idiots)

Steven Spielberg vs Jean-Luc Goddard (SS had a sarky comment about one of Goddard’s films)

Steven Spielberg vs Robert Zemeckis (No one knows for sure, but rumor has it that it may have to do with Kate Capshaw “borrowing” dresses)

John & Rebecca Stamos vs Howard Stern (J&R say that Stern lied about getting a topless dance from R.)

Ringo Starr vs Public Enemy (Starr was critical of rap in general and P.E. in particular)

Howard Stern vs William Bennett (H. rightly pointing out that WB is a foul hypocrite)

Howard Stern vs Heather Locklear (H. being a jerk, as usual)

Howard Stern vs Bill Maher (An arrogant idiot versus an arrogant smart man)

Howard Stern vs Alanis Morrisette (H. being a jerk, as usual)

Howard Stern vs Rupert Murdoch (H. being a jerk, as usual)

Howard Stern vs Rosie O'Donnell (H. being a jerk, as usual)

Howard Stern vs Oprah Winfrey (H. being a jerk, as usual)

Dave Stewart vs Annie Lennox (Bad blood from the Eurythmics days and their breakup)

Rod Stewart vs Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, and everyone who didn't attend the Princess Di benefit (Rod took their lack of attendance personally)

Sting vs Rosie O'Donnell

Oliver Stone vs Richard Gere (O. criticised Gere’s anti-China stance over Tibet. O is an idiot, of course)

Oliver Stone vs P. Diddy (P. is bitter at being rejected for a role in Any Given Sunday)

Sharon Stone vs Billy Baldwin (Bad on-set relations on Sliver)

Sharon Stone vs Gwyneth Paltrow (Random bitchiness)

Sharon Stone vs Steven Seagal (Random bitchiness)

Sharon Stone vs Dwight Yoakam (She said that the relationship was worse than a "dirt sandwich")

Babs Streisand vs Andre Agassi (Romance gone wrong)

Babs Streisand vs David Bowie (Because he dared to pronounce her name incorrectly)

Babs Streisand vs Celine Dion (Babs thinks Celine is ripping off her stage act)

Babs Streisand vs John-John Kennedy

Babs Streisand vs Bette Midler

Babs Streisand vs the makers of South Park (Because she has no sense of humor, and they quite effectively mocked her)

Babs Streisand vs Ken Starr (Streisand was a Clinton supporter)

Amy Tan vs Stephen & Tabitha King (Business deal gone wrong)

Quentin Tarantino vs Fun Lovin' Criminals (Over their sample of dialogue from Pulp Fiction)

Quentin Tarantino vs Mira Sorvino (Very acrimonious breakup)

Elizabeth Taylor vs Joan Collins (Bad on-set relations on These Old Broads)

Elizabeth Taylor vs Eddie Fisher (EF told a little too much about ET for her liking in his autobio)

Elizabeth Taylor vs Barbara Walters

Shirley Temple vs Ronald Reagan

John Tesh vs Bob Costas (Costas hates Tesh's music and vapid commentary)

Paul Theroux vs Bruce Chatwin (Theroux was a jerk to Chatwin)

Paul Theroux vs V.S. Naipul (Naipul being a jerk to Theroux)

Hunter S. Thompson vs Jerry Seinfeld (HST fell for one of JS' pranks and isn't happy about it)

Billy Bob Thornton vs Val Kilmer (Bad on-set relations on The Man Who Broke a Thousand Chains)

Uma Thurman vs Oprah Winfrey

Spencer Tracy vs Nancy Reagan

John Travolta vs Kevin Costner (Costner had an affair with Travolta's wife)

Alex Trebek vs Regis Philbin (Trebek bashed Who Wants To Be On A Stupefyingly Boring TV Show)

Tricky vs Finley Quaye (Quaye claimed he was Tricky's uncle)

Donald Trump vs Daryl Hannah

Ted Turner vs Rupert Murdoch (Politics and a possibly apocryphal yacht race which Murdoch lost and Turner, as always, was a poor winner)

Tina Turner vs Elton John (TT criticized EJ's piano playing)

Tina Turner vs Ike Turner (He beat her and treated her horribly)

Usher vs Sisqo (Doggin' and dissin' each other over not much in particular)

James Van Der Beek vs Katie Holmes vs Joshua Jackson (Bitter love triangle)

Nia Vardalos vs Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson vs Vardalos' former friends (It seems that everyone involved in My Big Fat Greek Wedding handled its success poorly)

Nia Vardalos vs Russell Crowe (NV called RC "fat")

Nia Vardalos vs Jack Nicholson (NV, decrying the Hollywood double standard about weight, noted JN's gut size)

Paul Verhoeven vs Joe Eszterhas (Over the credit for Basic Instinct)

Paul Verhoeven vs Sharon Stone (She insists that he tricked her into the infamous full frontal shot in Basic Instinct. He says she's a liar.)

Gore Vidal vs Truman Capote (Random bitchiness on both their parts)

Gore Vidal vs Dominick Dunne (Vidal thinks Dunne is a social whore)

Gore Vidal vs Charlton Heston (Heston was offended by Vidal talking about the gay subtext in Ben Hur)

Gore Vidal vs the Kennedys (Vidal was not merciful in his assessment of them)

Kurt Vonnegut vs Geraldo Rivera (Geraldo cheated on his wife, who was Vonnegut's daughter)

Robert Wagner vs Aaron Spelling (Wagner sued Spelling's company over a bad business & 90210 deal)

Mark Wahlberg vs Charlton Heston (They clashed over gun control)

Mark Wahlberg vs Tara Reid (Drunken fight)

Jeannette Walls vs Matt Drudge (I love it when gossip columnists quarrel. Lucky for me, I'm too obscure for anyone to pick a fight with me)

Burt Ward vs Adam West (Clashing egos over Batman)

Denzel Washington vs Anne Heche (Because of Denzel's disappearing acts on the set of John Q)

Damon Wayans vs Jim Carrey (Wayans feels that Carrey has snubbed his former In Living Color castmates)

Damon Wayans vs Bernie Mac and D.L. Hughley (DW blamed BM for Fox placing BM's show opposite DW's; DLH rightly pointed out that DW was acting the moron)

Raquel Welch vs Jim Brown (Bad on-set relations on 100 Rifles)

Mae West vs Raquel Welch (Bad on-set relations on Myra Breckenridge)

Mae West vs WC Fields (Rubbed each other the wrong way)

James Whale vs George Cukor

Joanne Whalley vs Val Kilmer (Kilmer supposedly hit Whalley while they were married)

Wil Wheaton vs Brian Austin Green (Supposedly a very bad breakup)

Joss Whedon vs the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences (Because the Academy, which is responsible for the Emmys, are complete morons who have consistently mistreated Wheedon and Buffy)

Esther Williams vs Merv Griffin

Robin Williams vs Howard Stern (Over Stern's negative words about Jakob the Liar)

Walter Jon Williams vs Wired magazine (There was a little matter of copyright violations)

Bruce Willis vs Richard Gere (Willis didn't want to act next to Gere because Gere wasn't "manly" enough. Gere heard of these comments)

Bruce Willis vs Cybil Shepherd (When things got bad on the set of Moonlighting, they got really bad)

Oprah Winfrey vs Danny Glover (Because Glover sided with his wife, who Winfrey was feuding with over the writing credits to Beloved)

Oprah Winfrey vs Dr. Phil (because Oprah decided to extend her contract--Dr. Phil had been expecting to inherit Oprah's time slots after she retired)

Oprah Winfrey vs Michael Jackson (Because Michael dared to do an interview with someone other than Oprah)

Oprah Winfrey vs David Letterman (Over his weight jokes)

Oprah Winfrey vs Monica Lewinsky (Oprah got in a snit because Monica wouldn't do her first interview with Oprah)

Oprah Winfrey vs Joan Rivers (Over Rivers' cracks about Oprah's weight)

Oprah Winfrey vs Richard Simmons (He dared predict she'd gain her weight back after her liquid diet. He was right, which made it worse for her)

Debra Winger vs Richard Gere (They hated each other during the shooting of Officer and a Gentleman)

Debra Winger vs Charlton Heston (His macho bullshit got to her)

Kate Winslet vs Leo DiCaprio (Because Leo treated Kate appallingly. Leo really is a nasty little punk, isn't he?)

Shelley Winters vs Bette Davis

Reese Witherspoon vs Nicole Kidman (RW feels that NK stole a part in Bewitched from her)

Reese Witherspoon vs Kevin Smith (Over the script for Overnight Delivery)

John Woo vs Jackie Chan (Didn't enjoy working together)

John Woo vs Jean-Claude van Damme (Because van Damme, aka "150 pounds of Flemish buttsteak," ruined Woo's first crack at the American film market)

James Woods vs Bill Clinton (Woods disapproved of Clinton's behavior in office, and said so)

Sean Young & James Woods vs Oliver Stone (Both actors had bad experiences working with Oliver Stone)

Renee Zellweger vs Janet Jackson (JJ threw a hissy fit on hearing that Zellweger would introduce her)

Rob Zombie vs Ben Folds Five (Zombie's opinion of their music is low)



 
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