Silo-Land Grand Opening II
By Ursula


"Take it off, take it all off," Mulder implored.

Alex looked teasingly at him, his little pink tongue dancing over his large, white teeth. Alex said, "I'll take it off if you'll put them on."

Mulder knew exactly what he meant. He said, "Alex, you can't be serious."

Alex smirked and arched his perfect body. He out flung his arms and Scully slapped him. She may have slept with him, but that didn't mean she liked him.

Outstretching his legs, Alex felt them hit something, firm and manly. Skinner fell on the floor, feet tangled in the drapery of his reversible banner. The gold lame lettering said on one side "Save Our Skinner" and on the other side, "Do I look adorable?" Skinner tried to get back on the bed, but someone had tied his ankles together with his maiden form bra.

The three lone gunmen tumbled out of their human pyramid form and lost their see no evil (Langly), speak no evil,( Frohike), and hear no evil poses (Byers.) They were disappointed that they were only allowed to watch and clean up the oil stains after the three FBI agents were finished bathing the newly Rescued-From-the-Silo-Ride Alex.

Well, John had Spiked the punch and disappeared with Alex into the bathroom for a while with his plastic container and his banana's...

The Smoking Man's resort hotel had no sound proofing so everyone could listen to Alex scream while they were waiting to rescue him and, sigh, comfort him, and wash all the oil from between his toes, run the warm, sandalwood scented washcloth up that muscled leg and into the tender crease between his thigh and groin, and up to his.... Um, where was I before I lost my train of thought?


Thump, thump, thump, came from the room below. A Scottish accented voice said, "Hoot man, we're trying to get some sleep down here. Quiet!"

A silken smooth voice said, "Duncan, you don't want to bend your sword. Stop hitting the roof with it. A five thousand year old man learns patience."

A sultry voice added, "And you're bothering my raven and swaying my trapeze."

A charming voice chimed in, "We should all go back to the hot tub and relax...."

"Shut up, Cory!" three other voices shouted.

"C'mere boy," the sultry, silken voice of the five thousand year old man whispered, "C'mere and I'll help you do something with that smart mouth of yours..."


Mulder looked desperately about for something to please the errant Ratboy.

From outside in the nearby Shoot Diane Fowley and Win An Oil-Filled Marita Doll Gallery, he heard Diane Fowley's shrill voice screaming, "Ow, ow, ow!" as she was blasted with gun fire by a rare unification of Slashers, Skippers, and MSR's romancers, all of whom hated her.

In the far distance, he could hear Pendrell and Jeff Spender giggling as they sneaked into the Save Spender tunnel of love for the fiftieth time that day. Screams sounded as Daddy Spender was run over by the mini love boat for the forty-ninth time in a row. (They were engaged the first time and missed.)

Alex played with the tiny buckle, just teasing. Mulder salivated and prayed that cruel rat boy would relent. It wasn't fair. All Scully had to do was snap her little whip, spin her beanie propeller pasties, and totter around in red stilt hilts and Krycek melted for her.

Alex fluttered his lashes and said, "Mulder, you know you want to do it."

Mulder whined, "Alex, it's so perverse."

Alex said, "But, Mullldehrr, seventy percent of all fan fiction states that you are a pervert! Ninety percent of department of transportation statistics agree."

Mulder gave in and said, "You first"

Alex sighed and let the little combination change dispenser, meter, and chastity belt fall sexily to the floor.

"Ow," exclaimed Skinner.

Alex leaned down and planted a kiss on Walter! Torture!Skinneršs abused head. He said, "Sorry, Walter."

Alex posed and hearts soared. Other things soared. We won't describe the pose or ratings will soar. "Now, Mulder, your turn"

Mulder knew that this was the mark of total degradation. Why this was even lower then being forced to hawk computer games on television! Or investigating the same liver eating, flesh eating, slime covered monster of the week every season.

Mulder drew on the fur and gingerly put on the head gear. Krycek's mouth was a greedy "O" of appreciation. Alex said, "Just wiggle it for me. Oh, yeah!"

Mulder obeyed and Alex said, "Oh, I think I love you. Now, the carrot and say those words that make my heart leap and my er... spirits rise."

Mulder put the end of the carrot in his mouth, fluffed the Bugs outfit and said, "What's up, Doc?"

Alex shrieked, "Oh, yeah, I'm yours," and flung himself into his true love's gray fur covered arms!

The End, no ifs, ends, or butts about it.


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