да, это - десять канадских долларов

Thanks to Kevin for this gem. As they say in Russia - "трахните ту работу" (thanks to http://translation2.paralink.com for the (very odd) translation services)

---
Description
Job Order #: 4872011

Posted: 14-Jan-2005

Job Title: Computer Programmer/Technical Analyst

Monkey Business

This one is more odd than bad. But it's kinda bad. I mean, you're either a web person or a money care taker, right?
Any job that requires you to be "not afraid of the dark", is worth our time...

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/art/50479217.html

web design/animal care

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: job-50479217@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-11-29, 11:10AM EST

Great opportunity for industrious, trustworthy, and enlightened
individual
who is devoted to the welfare of non-humans, and wishes to make a
contribution to the cause of helping save, care for and learn from the
great
apes. This is an hourly part-time position from 4PM-10PM, five days a
week
with the opportunity of becoming full-time. Flexibility required with
the
ability to work weekends.

Major Responsibilities:
-Monitor Research Office grounds and assure well-being and comfort of
gorillas Koko & Ndume
-Web development Internet sites (including some design, DreamWeaver
template
implementation and ongoing content updates)
-Data entry (via FileMaker Pro)
-Light cleaning and maintenance of Research and Gorilla facilities

Oy vey

Computer technician + Administrative Assistant : starting at $10/hour
Reply to: Gil@DigitalCorp.us
Date: 2005-01-04, 3:54PM PST

We are a small computer company in Sherman Oaks that has been 15 years in business.
we are looking for someone who is a very energetic happy individual who can multitask and supervise jobs.
The job requires repairing computers (PC), giving basic technical support over the telephone, answering the phone, greeting customers who come in and accepting computer repair/sale jobs.
Book keeping using Quickbooks and Excel to generate invoices and reports.
Our company is rapidly growing and will reward quickly good hard working employees who help the companie's success.

I'm so chill...

But not so chill that I'm gonna take care of your dog while designing. However, I'm sure your movie will change my life, so OK, I'll do it.

editor/ web design/ asst to feature director of GOSPEL
OF LOU
Reply to: job-54080716@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-01-01, 2:35PM PST

1st -please be chill, then for a 100 a week, you get
some experience and get in on ground floor of
distribution for THE GOSPEL OF LOU being released in a
small rollout in february.
Must know AvidDv and be a self starter and finisher...
good if you know flash also...
I'm not much on long conversations so you have to pick
up the ball quick, have fun with my dog who you'll
take care of, and be really ambitious and willing to
work hard. In return you get to see a movie that
changes lives be launched into theatrical
distribution, you'll learn a sh_t load about promotion
and more about excellence.

ARE YOU A GENIUS?

Another cheap asshat who wants you to work your ass off for potential dollars. Blah blah blah...

ARE YOU A GENIUS WITH PHP & HTML?
Reply to: job-48821594@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-11-13, 1:13PM CST

I am looking for an EXCELLENT, highly skilled PHP/HTML programmer to help with the customization of an amazing community lifestyle portal I originally created in 2000. It is NOT cheesy or generic, it is very ORGANIC and has UNLIMITED POTENTIAL, more than I can convey through a measly ad. I'm not just being dreamy here. Being involved in this site would not only be amazing for your resume, but could potentially make your career. Currently the site has 60,000 registered members, underground notoriety, and the potential to be a household name. It's not ready for the masses, but that's why I need YOU. I'm not a suit or a corporation and I'm NOT looking to fill a position, I'm looking for a person who sees my vision and wants to invest in it. If you are still reading and you have the skills – and I emphasize you must have a solid understanding of PHP and HTML (MYSQL and/or design skills are a major plus) Please contact me to discuss further.

Job location is Austin
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: Internship/Partnership
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK.

48821594

Cheap Bastards!

Everyone comatose and full of tryptophan?

Beautiful - not only are these fuckers paying next to nothing - you have to lug your own bleeding laptop over there because they're too cheap to provide a computer. File this one under "N" for "No thank you Billy." Oh yeah, fuckwit, 'laptop' is one word.

Graphic Artist
Reply to: wgk@kand.com
Date: 2004-11-17, 11:36PM PST

Temporary work full time or part time lap top required for graphic

My next career move

Here's some info that'll stick in your craw from our new buddy Joey. Check out his site for a nice graph illustrating the inequity.

The average American working person gets 10 days off a year. The average European gets 26 days off and the average German worker gets 30 days off. President Bush took the entire month of August off for vacation. Our elected congressional officials get 5 weeks of vacation and they "recess" for the enitre winter! Here's a look at how your work year compares to theirs.

Is this fair? Shouldn't the lawmakers of this country work just as hard as the rest of us? If they give themselves 5 weeks of vacation and the entire winter off then shouldn't every working American get the same?

Thank you for the opportunity

Would someone apply and then tell them to shove it?

Graphic Design Intern

Reply to: anon-49179523@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-11-16, 12:50PM EST

Company Description:

Fuzion on A is an Asian fusion restaurant, café, and lounge. Located, south side of Stuyvesant Town community, on the corner of Avenue A and East 13th Street, Fuzion on A satisfies the demanding tastes of New Yorkers by providing personalized, friendly and attentive service while offering creative dishes using the ingredients and techniques from Southeast Asian, Chinese and Japanese cultures. www.fuzionona.com

Job Qualifications:

The ideal candidate possesses a strong sense of visual style and graphic design experience. Graphic design or Art majors preferred but not required. Must be fluent and experienced with Photoshop, Quark and Illustrator. Must be responsible, reliable and able to meet deadlines. For consideration, please have an online portfolio that demonstrates your experience in online and new media design.

Job Description:

Assist with the development of concepts, typography, visuals, illustrations, layout, navigational symbols and icons for web and print. Pitch ideas for the design and development of various web and print graphics. This internship will provide valuable overall experience in graphic design within the hospitality/entertainment industry. We offer a flexible schedule where intern will be working 15-18 hours per week. This internship is unpaid.

Here's a little hint...

There's a lack of reply to your job post because you're an ass.

RE: WANTED - GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Reply to: anon-47671883@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-11-03, 12:38AM EST

We're looking for the brightest up-and-coming designers to come up with
a logo for the brightest up-and-coming Video Production company in New
York!

We can't pay you much($50), but this is the advertising opportunity
of
a lifetime!

We're baaaack

Hi everyone. We've been moving, and driving, and driving, and moving, and waiting for dsl. So, we're settled and here's a new crap job.

Photoshop / Graphics Designer
Reply to: hr@valetnoir.com
Date: 2004-11-02, 5:32PM EST

Photoshop Designer (Web)

Part-Time Creative Designer (NYC)

Responsibilities:

You’ll work on multiple projects Online (and limited) Print
disciplines for our marketing objectives, including web content email,
and advertising. You should understand the design issues and objectives
of a project, and be able to come up with a solution that is clean,
user-friendly, as well as be able to work within established visual
guidelines. You will respond to constructive feedback from the team,
other designers, or internal clients, and be able to provide
constructive feedback on other projects as well.

Frankenjob III

Warehouse/Bench Tech WLV Co that exports 2nd hand computers seeks hard working person to handle forklift & pallet jacks. Must be able to lift 50 lbs. Some computer skills helpful, will also refurbish computers.
Location: CA Date: 8/29/2004
Source: Ventura County Star

Je suis un perdant

Funny how one little bit of paper left in the ATM machine by the guy in line in front of you can make you feel like quite the underachiever. If this is his fucking checking account, imagine the rest of the bastard's finances. I swear he left it there on purpose for the next plebian loser to weep over.

You're Fired!

At least we know these 2 people don't have jobs now :)