Korea Life Blog - At the Hagwon (3)

It was another exciting week at the Hagwon. It is good and bad that I only teach each class one time during the week. The good side is that I can use the same lesson every time and do whatever I want. Nobody watches me or cares. The kids mostly like me so the boss is happy. I'm not really expected to teach English, I think. I'm just expected to look like a foreigner and make the kids laugh. The bad side is that I've become utterly lazy. How I ever made it a year at my previous school in Ulsan, is beyond me. There I taught 6-8 classes per day, each class 2-3 times a week. Each class had well over 10 students and they were off the walls and my boss made me use a stick to discipline them. Everyday I dreaded that place. After work, I would go to the health club and pump iron to work off the stress (the only good thing that came from it) then go home and down a bottle of soju and maybe a few beers besides (a really awful thing that came from it). I wish I had started my blog back then. I have a lot of stories about that time. The only reason I stayed there was because my boss paid me 550,000 Won every Friday after class and paid all my bills. Also, I had already quit 2 other jobs, and so he had to pay a chunky bribe to get me the visa. Anyway, now I have a great job, albeit not without pitfalls - the biggest being that I live in Nowhere-dong where it's quiet and peaceful, yet very boring. As I've said, though, I only teach 3-5 classes/day, there are less than 8 students in each class, sometimes as few as 3, and they are all pretty good kids. I don't have to discipline them, thank God. They are actually really cute and innocent kids out here (I took a bunch of pics of them yesterday and will post them soon). However, because of the set-up, it's impossible to make progress with the kids as far as them learning English. There is no coordination between what the Korean teachers are doing and what I do. And by the end of the week, I'm pretty sick of the lesson I started with on Monday.

This week's lesson: what do you do in the morning? I start the week fresh and ready. I spend the first half of each class teaching the sentences and making the kids actually speak. They ask each other the question and give answers. I comedically (hey, wow, I invented this word just now) enact the various morning rituals and make the kids laugh to the point of tears. They copy the sentences into their notebooks only one time. Then I give them this handout:


Yes, it's time to draw again, kids. But since I actually taught you for awhile, there isn't much time. So I tell them to draw Jorla-man, stick figures. This is one of the best and most creative examples. All the scenes are pretty funny.



As the week goes on I spend less time teaching each class and more time making them write and draw while I read. Since there's more time, they can color. "Get up" is funny. I'm not sure if he is able to get up after the fall. "Take a shower" is cute. Drawing stars around the boy's clothes is pretty creative. Also I love his breakfast: chicken, fish carcass, rice, and green penis? soup. Mmm....



This one is also pretty funny. They often think "get dressed" means to wear a dress, which is a little embarrassing for the boys. After he puts on his dress, he takes another shower then gets "dressed" again. Mmm, more fish for breakfast then off to school still wearing his dress....hahahah.



This is another one of my favorites. I'm considering hanging all of these on my wall (I need better decorations than a photograph of three cows). The shower scene is pretty funny. I also like "get dressed" - very creative. His face when he's brushing his hair is cute and note his attention to detail: he's even drawn decorations on his shirts.



By Friday I no longer care about teaching. I walk into each class, write the sentences on the board with the Korean translation so they don't bother me, make them copy it into their notebooks 5 times, give them the handout without any instructions, then sit down and read the newspaper. Needless to say, my students on Friday don't really like me much. I thought I should throw in an example drawn by a girl. I drew the arrow in there between "eat breakfast" and "brush my hair" before I took the pic. By the way, I'm not sure what's actually going on there at the breakfast table but it made me laugh.


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - Korean Dessert

While I love Korean food and can no longer imagine living without it, I have never really liked Korean sweets. I say "sweets" because Koreans don't usually eat dessert. In fact they consider dessert to be coffee, tea, cola, orange juice, cider, or some other drink. Deok seems to be the most popular of sweets. Others include anything filled with sweet mashed beans and breads with cream in them (I remember one time I bought "rolls" and made hamburgers, only to find out the rolls had whipped cream in them...yuck!) I sometimes miss blueberry pie, brownie sundaes, and real chocolate cake. Mmmm....



A picture of two kinds of sweet deok. My boss's wife sometimes brings these in for the Korean teachers who utterly love it. I smile and eat a few pieces out of politeness, but I don't really like it much. It's kind of chewy and slimy. (Any Korean person reading this is probably gasping in astonishment right now...)

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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul



The 1988 Summer Olympics were held in Seoul. This tiger was the mascot. Starting to show his age, he ramains today lining the walls of the Dongdaemun Stadium Station downstairs where you wait for the train. I'm glad they left these. They make you think about what that time must have been like here. As with most Olympic mascots, he looks a little odd. I'm not sure what that is exactly on his head. If anybody knows, please share. Also, if anybody has any memories to share about that time, I'd like to hear about them.


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - KLB Stats


SUMMARY STATS
Page views today: 465
This hour: 45
This week: 2123
This month: 8770

My blog seems to be gaining readership, receiving between 350-500 hits per day. Thanks everyone!


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Korea Life Blog - Japanese Style Mandu and U-dong



This is one of my favorites. I used to eat it more when I lived in Pusan. I could get the mandu dish for 2,000 Won near PNU compared to 3,500 here. First you mix the sauce and vegetables together. Then you take a little clump and put it on one of the fried mandu pieces, fold it over (kind of hard if your not good with chopsticks) then chomp it down. On the left is U-dong, Japanese style noodles in broth. Both dishes are delicious. There are many tasty and inexpensive dishes to sample at this commonly styled restaurant found throughout Korea. I'm not exactly sure why, but even though they're set up like any normal restaurant, you are required to pay upon ordering your meal at these places. Anybody know why that is? I can understand at fast food restaurants, but here you have a menu on the table and a waitress. The practice feels a little offensive to me, call me sensitive if you'd like.



As an added bonus to this already action packed post, I've included for you a stunning photograph of a highly delicious specimen of kimchi. Note the nicely cut size, the perfect proportion of cabbage and sauce, the slight glistening. Also notice the brilliance with which I hold the kimchi perfectly between the chopsticks while snapping the picture. I must say I have come a long way since the days when I used to hold one chopstick in each hand...


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - Tyson Punch


Mike Tyson, since going bankrupt, has now moved to Korea and is teaching English at Wonderland. Unfortunately he's not having much luck finding any privates. To make extra money, he is setting up punching machines across the nation. However, he hasn't enough money yet to hire an artist that can draw him with even a subtle hint of accuracy.


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - Park it Here - No Problem! (1)

One of the (many) reasons I'm afraid to drive in this country is because of the serious parking problem. There are entirely too many cars and not enough space to park them. Not only that, but Korean drivers, believe it or not, are not always the most considerate people when it comes to their cars. (How many times have I been using a crosswalk and a car zooms up in front of me to make a turn causing me to have to walk around him so that he can arrive to work 2.1 seconds earlier?) However, to give credit where credit is due, Koreans have developed a kind of parking art, so to speak. They must be the most adept parkers in the world, able to fit their cars into the most unthinkable spots you can imagine. A talent borne out of necessity, for sure, but a true talent nonetheless.


One of my kind readers sent me this picture and it gave me an idea for this new series: Park it Here - No Problem! I just love it when people park on the sidewalk. (Better still is when some maniacs drive down the sidewalk - which I saw tonight but didn't have my camera ready.)


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - Subway Scenes (1)


Here we have two well dressed grandmothers engaged in a conversation during their commute. At this precise moment the grandmother to the right is gabbing away and the one on the left is thinking about something. Unfortunately I can't understand Korean, and even more unfortunately I can't read minds. However, it's sometimes fun to pretend I have those abilities. Here are a few examples of what I came up with.


1.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
In order to get a seat on the subway you have to be very quick. If you see an open spot but someone is beating you to it, quickly throw your purse on the seat (or at the person). If there is no seat, however, find a young man and scold him until he gets up.


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
Personally I think light green goes better with purple, but maybe I won't tell her.



2.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
I'm thinking about opening a deokboki and o-daeng stand. There's only 3 of them on my street. I know my deokboki is better than theirs.

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
She really needs to do something about her hair. That style went out years ago.


3.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
Young people nowadays have no morals. Just today I saw a man and a woman holding hands outside.

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
I'm in love with you and you don't even know it.


4.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
Foreigners are ruining this country. There's one over there with a camera. I bet he's trying to take a picture of young girls.

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
Where am I and how did I get here?


5.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
Young people these days have no style. Look at their plain clothes. Honestly, I don't know what they're thinking.


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
Say it again, sister.


6.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
Wait, is it me or does that guy with the camera look a little different? I'd better see the doctor.


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
I smell garlic.


7.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
In the old days we used to put the kimchi in jars and bury them in the ground until it fermented. Do you remember that time? That was when kimchi was really kimchi. A few years ago my son-in-law bought me a kimchi refrigerator, can you believe it? It's a refrigerator that's supposed to speed up fermentation. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but the kimchi is, well, a little bland, and...

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
Oh no, not this story again...


8.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
(panting) I told you we'd get a seat.

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
(panting) I told her we'd get a seat.


9.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
I don't care how much an apartment costs in Gangnam. My grandchildren deserve the best education. My son-in-law...


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
She dyed her hair again. Who does she think she's fooling?


10.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
When I went to Los Angeles to visit my sister, I went to McDonald's a few times. They have this hamburger called the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Just looking at it made me full. It came with enough french fries for 6 people. And I needed two hands to drink the cola. And they have a breakfast menu. I got this sandwich with sausage, egg and cheese. It was delicious. So I asked myself, why don't we have this at McDonald's in Korea? And milk - let me tell you. They sell it in gigantic plastic jugs. How much milk does a person...


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
She forgot to take her pills again. She's delirious.



Now it's your turn. Click on the comments link and give your versions of the scene. It's a lot of fun and readers all over the world will laugh along with you.


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - Sacre Bleu!


La Vie Blog De la Cor�e


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - Douner Donuts?


Of all the fast food chains, the one that gets ripped off the most is Dunkin Donuts. In fact, they are the only one that gets ripped off like this. Just look at the blatant copy. If you didn't look carefully you wouldn't notice the difference, except for the colors. In fact, you tend to overlook the name itself as you've seen it so many times. It's the shape, font, and arrangement of the words that you notice. You would, however, notice a difference in the quality of the donuts. In fact, I wonder if this might really be run by Dunkin Donuts. Maybe they use this chain to sell off their 2-day old inventory to unsuspecting customers. One thing is for sure, getting suckered into eating these stale tasting donuts is definitely a real "douner".


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - Planet of the Ape Machines



Hmm, looks like the crazed soldier has put on his glasses and transformed himself into a suave ape. Either that or he got punched one too many times. I actually saw a crowd of drunk Korean guys gang around this thing at 2:00 AM, each waiting eagerly to give the ape a whack. I wanted to snap a picture, but it's best (especially for a foreigner) not to draw the attention of extremely drunk, ape bashing maniacs, so I waited until they had gone.


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written by shawn matthews   -|link

Korea Life Blog - Yi Sang: The Wings


If you would like to sample some well written Korean literature that's been translated into English, pick up a copy of this book. It features three short stories by Yi Sang, a posthumously famous author of short fiction and poetry. If you're in Korea you can find it at any of the larger books stores with an English section or you can order it off the net at Amazon.com. I've read it several times, each time stirred by the author's haunting portrayal of his mental state while suffering from turberculosis during the time of Japanese occupation. Read below for an account of the author and a short synopsis of the stories.





Yi Sang was trained as an architect during the period of Japanese occupation of the Korean peninsula. He was a controversial poet in his own time, and continues provoke readers to this day. Incorporating a range of tone from the surreal to the hermetic, from the comic to the scientific, he is perhaps best known for his subversive blending of these sources with a more native Korean idiom. He was the author of numerous short stories and poems collected in various posthumous volumes. Arrested in Tokyo for "thought crimes" in 1936, he died in Japan of tuberculosis shortly after his release.

Book Description
The three stories gathered in this volume display Yi, Sang's inventive manipulation of autobiographical elements, a method which expands his intensely private narratives into broader meditations on love, life, and death. "The Wings," a dark allegory of infidelity and self-deception, probes the ambiguities of perception and language through an unreliable narrator who bears an uncanny resemblance to the author himself. "Encounters and Departures," a tale of ill-fated love revolving around erotic passion and physical illness as metaphors presents a female protagonist modeled on the woman who was, in real life, the author's muse and femme fatal. Similarly, in "Deathly Child," Yi, Sang offers a witty, incisive examination of sexual mores through a fictional reenactment of his ambivalent feelings toward the woman he married toward the end of his life.

The Wings


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written by shawn matthews   -|link