MORE LAPTOONS
THE
MOST
COMMON
LAPTOP
DISEASE
THE
OCTOPUS
SYNDROME


FREE
   AT
       LAST!


Let's Go,
OEMs, ISPs,
Developers,
Users, &
everybody else,
it's time to
crawl out from
under that boot.



LATEST HEADLINES


THE POCKET SENATOR


LATEST PORTABLE DEVICE
PALM HELD PORTABLE DEVICES THAT ONE CAN CARRY IN YOUR POCKET HAVE LATELY BECOME ONE OF THE HOTTEST NEW HARDWARE SELLERS. JUST RELEASED IS THE ULTIMATE IN POCKET DEVICES KNOWN AS THE

"POCKET SENATOR"
HEADLINE:
Sen. Gorton attacks DOJ antitrust suit against MS.
HEADLINE:
Sen. Gorton wants DOJ budget slashed.
HEADLINE:
Sen. Slade Gorton [WA] denies aiding MS



WEBSITES HELD HOSTAGE



PROBLEM:
New High-
Powered
Notebooks
which suck
Batteries
Dry.
SOLUTION:
Strap a
Generator
on your back
and carry
a 5 gallon
gas can.



AOL'S
NEW
SIGNIFICANT
OTHER

SNAIL
MAIL
COMES
TO
THE
WEB


Shakespeare's Take on Power Management

"Sleep no more:
Macbeth doth murder sleep"

From MACBETH__Wm Shakespeare
MS Murders Sleep
From WIN98/98SE__Microsoft

The 3 R's     &               
READING
REBOOT
WRITING
REINSTALL
'RITHMETIC
REFORMAT


Window's Critical Update Notification Revealed

WHAT IS?
THE HIDDEN ANSWER.

TYPICAL
DOS
SESSION
DEVIL'S    OWN    SYSTEM

C:\>

C:\> CD WINDOWS
INVALID DIRECTORY

C:\> C:\WINDOWS\WIN
CANNOT FIND WIN.COM

C:\> COMMAND.COM
INVALID COMMAND.COM

C:\> AUTOEXEC.BAT
BATCH FILE MISSING

C:\> CONFIG.SYS
UNRECOGNIZED COMMAND IN CONFIG.SYS

C:\> WIN
BAD OR MISSING COMMAND INTERPRETER

C:\> A:\
NOT READY READING DRIVE A
ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?
R
CURRENT DRIVE IS NO LONGER VALID

C:\> RESTORE D:\ C:\*.* /S
NO FILES FOUND

C:\> HELP
BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME

C:\>DIR /P
INVALID SWITCH

C:\> GIVE ME WINDOWS, PLEASE
NEVER

C:\> EXIT
HAVE A NICE DAY

WHAT MICROSOFT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE:

A JUNE WEDDING?
THE SECOND CHOICE



To get X-setup [FREE], see the link to it in the Poetry Corner under the Obituary section.
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