_________________________________________________
SO,
YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE
IT!
WHY??
BECAUSE:
IT'S NEWEVERYBODY ELSE IS GETTING IT
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUTWIN95 HAS GROWN SO BORING
YOU EVEN HAVE YOUR HELP FILES ZIPPED UPIT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE
IT'S THERE - IT'S HERE - IT'S A CHALLENGE
YOU ASKED FOR IT
YOU GOT IT
SO STOP YOUR WHINING!
_________________________________________________
SO, WHAT IS  ANYWAY?
It's a resource draining,
dll-thievin', hard-drive hoggin',
icon-changin', app-overwriting, driverless Operating System
ruled by
THE BIG BLUE E
_________________________________________________
History of E
Once upon a time
THE BIG BLUE E
was a lowly little
exe which was generally ridiculed and ignored. Those of the
"N" persuasion were especially cruel to this wanna-be-browser.
They sneered and jeered which hurt the young
E
terribly. It was
called "quick and dirty", "featureless" and "half-apped". Over
time the
E
grew bitter with this treatment and vowed to get
even. Slowly it grew bigger, stuffing itself on bytes and gorging
on dll files until one day it had taken control. Now, no one can
escape
E's
presence.
E
is everywhere and remembers everything.
_________________________________________________
Whining
On various WWW outlets, many of you have posted
complaints about problems with Windows 98. To all of you whiners:
YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!
If you bothered to read the
license agreement, it was clearly [but cleverly] stated that
you agreed to the following statement:
ALL ERRORS ARE USER GENERATED.
_________________________________________________
The Real Deal
Some of you have never learned the true nature of
Windows. It is not just an Operating System; that feature is
just a by-product of what it really is. It is a survival
game teaching us to conquer adversity, learn by error and experience,
and thereby make us better by surviving the ordeal. Some of you have
even wanted to sue Windows creator for non-performance. That's part
of the game too which can ony be over-come with labourious travail.
So get in the spirit of the game while
testing your patience and very sanity, driving you to drink, swear and
exhibit all other forms of self-destructive
behaviour. Then just as you finally survive and tame one version of Windows,
MS will put out a new
one to keep the fun game going. The whole trick is to never take any of this
seriously - just plod
along trying to solve one problem after another. Ya gotta love MS
- it has built the most sought after computer
game in town that we couldn't wait to buy just to stare disaster in
the face once more.
And we get to
gripe and moan and berate MS too. Love this game - it's one never ending
soap-opera filled with
tragedy and triumph. The hi-tech version of a Shakespearean play.
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