Holy shit! I'm writing a book!

Partly fueled by my desire to give children the "wrong ideas about life," and partly fueled by contempt for trees, I have decided to write a book. I've been mentioning my "other projects" for months, and this is one of the big projects I've been working on. Here are some details:

Publisher: Kensington Books
Release Date: March '06
Page count: 144
Title: To be announced

The genre is still up in the air. The publisher wants to release it under "humor" but I'm pushing to have it released in devotional literature or self help.

There have been rumors for months that I've been writing a book, and a lot of people have asked for a mailing list for updates about it. While I still haven't created a general purpose mailing list, I've created one for the book. You'll only receive one or two emails, ever, and I'll only send out updates about the book (probably only the week before its release).

  Book Mailing list:
Enter email address:
Type the word you see to the right:

***Note: Yahoo mail blows. It seems that 50% of all confirmation emails are marked as spam in Yahoo. Check your spam folder if you don't receive confirmation in your Yahoo account.

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Stats Updated: Fri Mar 25 01:10:51 MST 2005

FAQ

Is this for real?

Yes.

How much of it will be new? Are you just going to print articles from your website?

100% of it is going to be never before seen. There are no articles from my site in this book.

Will your book be available in stores?

It will be available in every major book store: Barnes & Noble, Borders, Amazon, and Universities if they know what's good for them.

Are you going to spam me?

Why would I suddenly start spamming people after years of running my website free from banners, pop-ups and advertisements? Who gives a shit? I won't spam you, and I won't share your email address with anyone.

How can I be sure you won't spam me?

Don't trust me? Then don't sign up. It costs me time and money to do this, and if you're afraid I might start sending junk to your precious email address, then don't sign up. You're not doing me a favor by signing up, I'm doing you a favor by letting you.

Will your book be available in my country?

Probably; I'm pretty sure it will be available in Australia, United Kingdom, and Canada. I don't know where else right now.

How did this come about?

I've been talking with publishers on and off for over two years now. My editor at Kensington was one of the first to approach me several years ago, so I went with them. On a side note, this book almost didn't happen when I showed my editor my proposal. He called me in a panic saying that packing this much awesome in one book was unprecedented, so I suggested that we throw in a couple of blank pages every now and then to space things out. Seriously, you will be spent after reading this book. I showed my proposal to this bitch friend of mine who hates me and everything I stand for, and she was begging to polish my knob after seeing it.

Are you still working on the comic?

Yes, the comic will demolish your ass.

Does this mean fewer updates for your site?

No, in fact, you'll probably get more frequent updates. Before this I was working on another book with content similar to what you'd find on my site. That's why updates to my site were few and far between. Since I'm no longer writing that book, updates should be more regular now. The book I'm currently writing is similar in style, but different in content from what you'd normally see on my site. This book will kick so much ass that it may reverse progress made towards world peace during the last 50 years. Seriously, add yourself to the mailing list to find out.

I signed up for your mailing list, how can I tell if I'm on it?

Once you submit your email address, you'll receive a confirmation email with a link. You need to click on this link to confirm that you want your email added to the list. Look for an email from maddox@xmission.com and click on the link in the email body. That's it.

637,440 assholes can't wait for the release of my book.

maddox@xmission.com

Back to how much I rule...