This is a personal testimony of Antti Huima, Finland. It may be freely distributed in any form for any purposes except for direct commercial benefit, provided that this notice is included in verbatim and that the whole text is faithfully reproduced without any modifications in the content. Excerpts may be taken, but the referer is asked to include somewhere in the presentation the quote is to be appear in a reference to a place where the original document can be found. The e-mail address of the author is: Antti.Huima@hut.fi.
Date: the 1st July 1996
For the glory of God
MY NAME is Antti Huima and I live in Finland, Scandinavia. I'm 21 years old for now.
It was in the Spring '95, when the Toronto Blessing came into Finland in power. There was a conference in Jyväskylä (one of the biggest towns in Finland) that Toronto people from the United States (Toronto, I suppose) came to, and excited visitors from Finland were all around. I didn't understand what was going on, though I was wondering why people were not allowed to pray during the ministry time and why it all was scary to some extent. I fasted for three days and searched for God. Our senior pastor had been in the conference and brought the phenomenon into our church, though it didn't break through very well. However, I weren't very alarmed and first tolerated the thing.
There is a church in Espoo that is called SHS for short (it's an abbreviation for some Finnish words). It was at least formerly a word-of-faith church. From Easter '95 on, TB was there in power and people flocked in to see and experience it. I too was drawn to it at last with one my friend.
The service began like any charismatic meeting with worship. When the pastor of the church was then speaking, suddenly something lika a deep darkness filled me. It felt like I was in a nightmare or had just woken from one. I wasn't able to pray and felt bad. That's the first thing I can remember. The second thing is, that the preacher (from USA) said (when speaking of the spirit) that
"...during the Noah's days, the springs of the deep burst forth and water flew on the surface of the Earth... now, when the spirit comes on you, in you too the springs of the deep shall open and the living water shall flow out... by the way, I have thought that there, where the springs of the deep were, was/is the Hell."
Later we went out, because I had to be in a Bible group meeting soon. I was still unable to pray, and opened the car's window to get fresh air, but it did not help my sick feelings. I tried to eat something, but it didn't help. Ultimately, in the Bible group, one of my friends asked if they should pray for me. I agreed, and we prayed, and there -- glory -- when I was appealing to the blood of Jesus Christ, the darkness was lifted away and deep peace and light came instead.
I was in SHS for another time. That time I had decided not to listen to any alarm signals I would get, because I had heard many wonderful things to happen through TB. I was there, and the same preacher from the USA was there. I felt bad, but tried to ignore my feelings. Then I felt that some force was pulling my legs backwards. I remember seeing one of my friends in the front of me, shaking on the floor in a way that resembled snakes. It was far away from the God I knew. Then I felt how some spirit was trying to break into me. It was around me, I could feel it, but I wasn't able to recognize it as the Holy Spirit. I was, however, going for the ministry, when I saw other friend standing and doing something that could be best described as something erotic (this isn't so new with TB). I decided to go out for fresh air becouse I felt bad. When I got out, immediately after leaving the building, all my senses cried: "Never! I never want that stuff!" and soon I left. When I later meet my friends, they asked why I was so pale. I told them where I had been.
I later spoke with a man who was in the New Age / occult before his conversation to Christianity. He told about having had similar experiences with spirits trying to break into people in New Age meetings. Remember this what he said then: "It's very, very dangerous situation. You can feel the spirit, and it feels bad, but when it gets in all the bad feelings vanish, and it feels very good indeed."
Later I felt almost physically bad often when the TB spirit was present. Sometimes I was not able to be in prayer meetings, because I felt so bad and had to leave. It didn't happen just once or twice and was very real. I believe that the Holy Spirit in me was signalling about a hostile spirit. It is a real force.
Then we had a camp in which about sixty of our church's youth took part. There were four people who had experienced a spontaneous TB experience a week ago, and were very excited about the change it had incorporated into their devotional lives [though they were young and wouldn't use such a term]. We had a prayer meeting. When the four people came in, I immediately felt something unknown and scary enter the whole room. I began to pray in tongues, feeling the pressure around. Later I was talking with some of the four. This is important. One of those told, that
"I feel some power working in me, but it does not feel just good. I feel there is something bad, and I am scared... one of us sees now Satan walking in the prayer meetings very often... that's why they were commanding it to leave. When I was in the prayer meeting, I could feel there were two kinds of hands above people. There were white hands that tried to bless people, but then there were black hands also that tried to perform [counterfeit] miracles too."
I told about these events to one of our church's elders who was there, but he didn't believe all this at first but said that people were imagining this. Some people have difficulties in understanding that the evil forces may indeed gain access even to Christians if they aren't opposed when necessary.
Then I was in the Summer Conference '95 of the Pentecostal Church Finland. I was to give a testimony in a big youth meeting. When I was praying for the testimony, I suddenly knew that I should speak about the false prophets in I Kings 22; and warn people about TB. It was very hard, because the majority of people in the Conference (and the preachers) were excited about TB. At least the number of people publicly opposing the movement was virtually zero.
Ok, I knew before the Lord that I should speak this very thing, and, comprehending it, began to weep, because I was scared. I (really) thought, that I will never get out of the Conference alive, because I was going to oppose a thing that wasn't opposed (at last publicly) by the pastors here. And more; the most excited people about TB were the young people, and this was a youth meeting where were all the guys who had promoted the thing during the Conference (TB was in force there!) And I began to get scared. It was Friday, and I prayed down that day and in the evening. I went to bed, but was not able to sleep. I felt sick, like I was about to vomit. It wasn't anything physical. From the moment I decided to speak about the thing I began to feel really real spiritual pressure, and this was part of it. Because I wasn't able to sleep, I rose up and stepped out of the place I was sleeping. I met the leader of our Youth Choir that was to sing in the meeting where I was to testify. He promised, that the whole choir would pray for me continuously until the meeting.
The pressure continued, it made it hard to pray and made me to scare. It continued into Saturday, and I can remember many times looking at the clock and thinking "praise God! Only two hours now... then I will have given the testimony, and all this pressure is over." One girl prophesied to me before the testimony and gave an encouragement from the Lord. Without it I probably wouldn't have had enough courage to do what I was supposed to do. Ok, I spoke, and all the pressure was gone. TB is a deadly serious thing. It's spiritual, and the forces behind it are very real.
In the Autumn '95, I began to get more information about TB. I saw horrible videos from Rodney Howard-Browne and Toronto meetings, where people were acting as demoniacs. What I saw was horribly real, and horribly far away from the acts of the only true God -- praise to His Righteous Name! One man in Finland wrote a book named "Powerful Deception -- The Toronto Blessing Compared to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, or How the Occultism got Into Christianity". It began to transform my that-far misty view of some perhaps bad thing to a vividly clear understanding of a powerful deception among the Christians.
I began to find articles in the Internet. I read, read, read. And the more I read (both pro and cons), the more I became convinced about that I should do something. So, after certain events, I wrote a memo named "A Short Memo on the Toronto Blessing" (it was about seventy pages, in Finnish) and shared copies of it to people who wanted them. Many people found help through it. Though many people in TB don't accept negative information about TB, it's however important to share the facts. If you are standing against the delusion, I want to encourage you to use some efforts to share the facts. If you do that in the will of God, you might be able to help some of His precious sheep.
Much has happened in Finland, and much of it is very sad. I have heard (but only heard) of two women kissing one another for more than an hour "in spirit"; people doing movements pertaining to sexual act "in spirit"; one woman getting naked; another masturbating in a meeting. People getting scared, having compulsory movements they cannot get rid of. People think that the glory of God is present when people shake on the floor and bark. The senior pastor of our church left when there was a difference of opinion about TB among he and the elders of the church. It's rumored, but I don't know for sure, that hundreds of people were leaving our church in summer '95 as they couldn't stand TB.
One woman in our church saw a vision years ago. She saw the feet of Jesus. She saw only the feet, but was sure that she was looking at the Lord's feet. Then, in the vision, she began to look upwards. She saw the Lord's waist and chest, and was sure she was looking at the Lord. And the "person" she looked to, she said, was just like Jesus. Only one thing was different. She told, "he" had eyes like the eyes of the Devil.
This vision was then interpreted as to warn people about Satan who "masquerades itself as the angel of light" and tries to enter the Church in the form of Jesus Himself.
Before the camp I mentioned earlier, I was told about a woman who was in a TB-style meeting. Suddenly she felt a power in her hands, felt them shaking and heat in them. She wondered what was going on when she saw Jesus who said to her: "I want to give to you the gift of healing." The woman considered this for a while, and then said: "Show me your hands, please", as she wanted to see the scars left by the nails on the cross. "Jesus" disappeared. There came another Jesus, who said: "If you had received that power, the same things you see happening there in front would have begun to happen through your hands too."
This is really possible, and we've got to be serious about the false Christs and false prophets, different spirits and different gospels the Bible mentions.
I reject the Toronto Blessing. I don't believe it's from God. I testify, that opposing TB has in no way injured my personal relationship to the Lord -- praised is His Name! People who say to you that if you oppose TB, or even discern it, you are opposing the God Himself, and will be under judgmenet, are lying to you. Lying. Do you think that God will judge you if you weigh the things as He has commanded?
They will say that you are a Pharisee and perhaps stop talking with you. It was somehow sad to meet the wife of the former senior pastor of our church (he who left) and greet her without getting any response (the Short Memo on the Toronto Blessing was read by the elders of our Church and somehow contributed to the situation, and she knew it).
They will say to you that millions of people are involved, and that they cannot be wrong. I say that they, sadly, can. Read Luke 7:13-14.
I want to convince you, that in everything I have done I have tried to be honest to myself and to God. I have no personal reason to oppose Rodney Howard-Browne or any other people involved.
But as far as I understand: it's a deception. A real, dangerous deception. People are experiencing same manifestations as people in occult, for example, in Kundalini energy. The same manifestations are also experienced in hypnosis. The phenomena are unbiblical and many give an unholy impression. As John Wimber has said, "many of these phenomena would have formerly addressed to demons." The doctrinal barriers are crushing down too fast, so that false and deadly doctrines get into the churches.
I have been called to love God and His Truth. Because I do it, though very weakly, I have rejoiced much of the passage Habakuk has written:
For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea. (Hab. 2:14) (NIV)
No matter what happens even to me, I know that ultimately the truth of the Lord shall fill the Earth and I already rejoice now. It's wonderful. Praised is the Lord of Hosts!
Prayer request. Please, remember me some day in the front of our Lord.Antti Huima