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Dear Ladies,

Don't fall into the toilet. That is stupid.

I've heard some of you complaining that the men in your life leave the toilet seat up after they use the bathroom. It seems this perfectly normal practice somehow "causes" you to fall into the toilet when it's your turn to use the potty.

Have you noticed that men never seem to have this problem? In fact, no man has ever fallen into the toilet. And if one had, you would never know about it, and nobody would make a website out of it. This is because if a man ever admitted to falling into the toilet, other men would make fun of him and throw stones at his forehead.

You see, men are superior to women in one respect, and one respect only: we understand the mechanics of a toilet seat. This knowledge apparently eludes women, despite being the only ones to clean it, because women only operate the toilet while in the seat is in the "down position."

Now I will let you in on our secret. It's called the "Toilet Seat Check." It should be performed before every sitting.

Here are the steps to a proper TSC. The most important step is highlighted:

  1. Enter the bathroom and turn on the light.
  2. Close the door.
  3. Look at the toilet.
  4. Confirm that the lid is up, and the seat is down.
  5. If this is not the case, make it so.
  6. Proceed with toilet usage.

It is my sincere hope that this knowledge will help avoid domestic arguments, and instill in women the sense of responsibility, self-sufficiency, and humiliation that men have enjoyed for centuries.


Your friend

CheckTheSeat.org resources

Instructions for Women  Man's Bathroom  Warning: Check Seat  Warning: Common Sense Required

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