09 Apr 2005


Saving time

Reading this post over at Dave’s gave me a though. If the Pope is chosen by God, with the Cardinals merely acting as representatives of his will, then why do they need to go through all the rigmarole of election after election in the conclave to determine who to appoint?

Surely, with all those Cardinals gathered in one spot, the concetrated holiness and essence of God in the room would be among the highest levels ever recorded on Earth, and if he wanted his will carried out, it’d be remarkably simple. So, give each Cardinal a number and…release the balls! God, if he’s as all-powerful and omnisicient as they claim, will be able to influence what ball comes out of the machine (I’m thinking we get Eamonn Holmes to host this one) and the lucky Cardinal becomes the next Pope.

It’s simple, it’s easy, it allows God’s will to be shown without any possibility of human interference, and what’s more it’s good for TV - not that the Vatican is short of a few bob, but every little helps in their desperate campaign to raise enough money to ensure there’s nothing in the centre of Rome that isn’t gold-plated. God hates suffering, but he loves kitsch even more.


Nick got away with this at 10:02 am

1 Comment »

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  1. The rules don’t say the new Pope must be a Cardinal: all adult male Catholics are eligible. That’s a lot of balls…

    Comment by Will — 09 Apr 2005 @ 6:31 pm

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