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The Autobiography of Velvet Tie Ashino Chen

In November of 1987, a couple in Illinois decided to buy their 7-year-old daughter a kitten for Christmas. The entire family gathered at a little pet shop called Jim's Pet World to select their new pet. Alas! The only cat in the shop was a lovely blond kitten already destined for another home. The disappointed family left the shop in dismay, but there was still hope. Later that day, the shop owner called with the joyous news that two new kittens had arrived. Our heroes rushed to Jim's Pet World, where they discovered two beautiful and utterly charming tabby kittens. They naturally selected the prettier of the two cats, the female kitten who grew up to become ME.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the story of how I met my adopted family. I have almost no recollection of my long-lost biological family, not even of the brother who accompanied me to the pet shop, and I am sure that he has forgotten me also after these 13 long years. I don't know if he is even dead or alive, but this is how a cat's nine lives go.

More About My Family

I am a very lucky cat. From the day I left the petshop, my mother has adored me. She carried me home instead of putting me in a box, she feeds me all the time, and she changes my litter for me. Whenever I indulge in any mischief, she is sure let me go unscathed. My sister is not as kind-- she doesn't feed me, and she sometimes even pokes fun at me-- but I know that she worships the ground I walk on and envies my good looks. Well, the part about good looks is a bit exaggerated. She knows that I'm extremely beautiful, as you can see from my pictures, but she's not bad-looking herself.

My father is an entirely different story. The very day I arrived at his home, he worried that I might carry fleas. Fleas! On a cleanly creature who probably has better hygiene than he does? I immediately expressed my indignation at such a shockingly rude notion. For at least one week I disdained to speak to him. He should have begged my pardon, but instead, he accused me of being a mute and spanked me to make me meow. In retaliation, I chose to exercise my claws on his furniture and curtains. Instead of capitulating, he constructed a wall of cardboard to enclose the curtains, indeed a very foolish plan. With my light and supple frame, I easily cleared the wall in one leap. Of course, my father has since then learned from his mistakes, and like everyone else, he now acknowledges me as one of the most beautiful creatures in the world. Of course he's not really as stupid as he seems-- he's actually very talented in physics, math, computer programming, and economics. He even published an economics paper that used to be online.

My Profile

  • Name: Velvet Tie Chen
  • Nicknames: Ashino, Wangshino, Torako
  • Age:13
  • Marital Status: single
  • Occupation: connoiseur of the finest foods
  • Education: entirely self-educated
  • Hobbies and other skills: eating, sleeping, birdwatching, scratching newspapers, looking cute, modeling

Created and maintained by Shang-Lin Chen