"Atlee was a modest man, who has much to be modest about."

"Whenever I feel the need to take some excercise I lie down until the feeling goes away."

"There's fog on The Channel (la manche) Europe is isolated."

"Golf, is a good walk ruined."

Lady Astor said to Churchill: "if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee"

Churchill replied: "Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it"

Bessie Braddock to Churchill: "Winston, you're drunk!"

Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes."

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."

"She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech."

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."

"Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy."

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said don't be ridiculous - you've not met everyone"

"If you don't over indulge in drink, cigarettes and the pleasures of the flesh it's not that you live longer - it just seems longer."

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

"If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research."

Barbara Cartland was once asked by a television interviewer if social class barriers were less rigid than before. "Of course they are..." she replied "... or I wouldn't be talking to you."

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."

"A classic, is a book everyone wants to have read but nobody wants to read."

"It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than speak and remove all doubt."

"85% of statistics are invented"

"There's nothing like a good party and let's face it this is nothing like a good party"

A chat show guest once refered to her wrinkles as her laughter lines. The show's host replied "Madam nothing's that funny."

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'
- David Beckham

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.'
- Mark Viduka

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.'
- Neville Southall

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.'
- Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
- Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.'
- Peter Shilton

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.'
- Ade Akinbiyi

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
- Ugo Ehiogu

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough.'
- Jonathan Woodgate

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.'
- Stuart Pearce

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'
- Ian Rush

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.'
- Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.'
- Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.'
- David Beckham

The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'
- Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.'
- Alan Shearer

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.'
- Thierry Henry

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.'
- Les Ferdinand

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.'
- Gary Lineker

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.'
- Vinny Jones

'If you don't concede any goals you'll win more games than you lose.'
- Wayne Bridge

'Do you remember when we played in Spain in the Anglo-Italian?'
Shaun Newton