COLLECTION: Mini-me Times Three

Sorry, I know it’s been a while and all… this week though, this is the week I get back to my twice a week schedule. Really.



Anyway, I’ve been a busy little bee recently. I went to the Maxim All Access weekend at the Borgata in Atlantic City.




Fat Joe, Bam Margera, Jet, Carmen Electra, David Lee Roth, the guys from Entourage… famous people were everywhere. As you can see, it was pretty exciting.




The view from my room was pretty cool too (and not just cause I like my own reflection).




Yup, breathtaking. Like I said, I was more than a little excited.




Then I went to Avalon (it’s a beach town) to visit my aunt and uncle.




That was cool too, but I left the weiner in the bag.




Wait a minute, you didn’t think…. Come on, this is a family show.




See, I was psyched to get the AC invite, but you can’t go to Atlantic City without a little dough in your pocket. Seeing as I’ve got no job and all, I figured it was time to clone a bone and find out what these things don’t fetch on the open market.









I mean, sure, I like saying “I’m the busiest guy in no business,” but the kid’s got to eat too, right?














I made two.




Then it was time for some chemistry.




24 hours later, my second and third wieners were born.




The only problem? I wouldn’t sell these guys to my worst enemy. Not only don’t they properly capture my true likeness, they’re all lumpy and porous like the bologna my high-school cafeteria used to serve. Gross.




One even had a foreskin…




Obviously I took care of that.




Forget sexy though, these things are kind of useless.



They make terrible chopsticks.






I’d envisioned using them to land planes, but that seems equally unlikely.








And I don’t think you could fend off an attacker either (I mean, maybe if the whole thing had come out right, but not like this).



Yeah, I know, too much free time, right? And I’m still a bit stuck in the money/career department.



Anyway, I’ve got a fun internship or two lined up for next week (can’t wait to share them with you—thanks for your emails)… keep an eye out, but I’m still waiting for someone to call saying they work for the morgue, or that they’re a mascot and I can come down and hang (Tessa you didn’t leave me any way of getting in touch)… Keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck.

PS—I just realized (well, someone just told me) that IF YOU CLICK THE "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" AT THE TOP, IT TAKES YOU TO THE MAIN PAGE. Cool.