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A rough draft of the spiritual biography of Joseph B Wilson. The history that lead to Toteg Tribe.
Copyright 2005 by Toteg Tribe
- Joseph died August 4th, 2004 before he had a chance to finish his autobiography. The Toteg Tribe will
attempt, as time and resources permit, to fill in the gap between his final installment (part 33) to present. If
you have any information to contribute to Joseph's spiritual biography, or would like to take on the project
of doing the investigating and writing of it, please contact us by email.
This is a post Joseph made to the Visionings-L mail list on January 21st, 2003 for the Metista list.
SUBJECT: Introspection
- Religiously or spiritually I am an animist. The dictionary defines animism as [From Latin "anima",
soul, spirit, life, breath; "animus", reason, mind, spirit]: 1. The attribution of conscious life to natural
objects or to nature itself. 2. The belief in the existence of spiritual beings that are separable or
separate from bodies. 3. The hypothesis holding that an immaterial force animates the universe. I
do not believe in a personal God(dess) as "a being conceived as the perfect, omnipotent,
omniscient originator and ruler of the universe, the principal object of faith and worship in
monotheistic religions" though I do believe in the existence of gods and goddesses "beings of
supernatural powers or attributes, believed in and worshiped by a people, thought to control some
part of nature or reality," and other spirits, including an individual's personal genius (Roman
Mythology. A tutelary deity or guardian spirit of a person or place.) My spiritual and religious views
are the result of a lifetime of experience and are subject to modification as I continue my path of
"initiation".
I am a classical witch doctor (or shaman); I learn and absorb the skills to perform necessary tasks
to manipulate reality for the betterment of my people (both individual and collectively) and myself.
These tasks have included travel to the nonphysical worlds to interact with various kinds of spirits,
gain information, learn from spirits, and convince or force certain spirits to do various things as
and when appropriate, and perform spells for the accomplishment of numerous different goals. I
cannot do or be otherwise. I know, I've tried to discard and disregard this aspect of myself, and
have been forced back to face it and embrace it many times. I have been in training and
practicing for over 40 years, and am now an Elder in this respect, even though I will never
complete my training or finish learning. I do this whether I like it or not, and often whether I am
aware of it or not, under the control and direction of my Spirit, my "personal genius." "It is the
process of becoming" and it is continual initiation. Those who think it is ever over are deluding
themselves.
When I was offered this calling as a teenager I was a fool. I think I might have actually had choices
then. I was warned that this way was a difficult process, the alchemical process of turning the dross
of spirit into gold. I think I could have continued the way I was, become a minister, and lived a
happy if relatively uneventful life. Instead I chose the other way offered to me by Spirit and
answered the two questions posed to me in the only acceptable way for those who choose to
receive the gift of transformation. "What are you willing to give to become 'wise'?" Everything.
"What are you willing to do to become 'wise'?" Anything. Spirit immediately began taking me
through the process of initiation (see Part 4 The Elements of Initiation in 'So You Wanna Be A
Shaman, Huh?'). A part of the process is to strip absolutely everything away (particularly those
things you are least willing to give up) including beliefs and cultural mores and to replace them
over time with views that are often outside of cultural norms, but are based upon experience. This
is a severe rite of passage that leads one along the path to "wisdom" as it was called, or "adept-
hood." The only solution is to surrender to it; for continued resistance and rebellion leads to
madness and death. It took the life of one of my mentors back in 1966 when he was only 35 and I
was only 24.
I have been lucky. My rebellions have only resulted in the loss of my military career, four
marriages, deprivation of my children, and my accumulated life earnings. I have had to start over
from scratch five times in this life. The costs are high. But it is not without rewards The so-called
magical powers necessary to do the work assigned are side effects of the course, and could be
considered rewards by some. When surrendered to it Spirit provides all of the material things
necessary for life and the work as well as the mental stability necessary to accomplish the duties it
assigns.
I have been given the talents and tools of an organizer, an administrator, a teacher, and a trainer
as long as they are used in service of the tasks Spirit assigns me. I have also been given the talent
of writing that again only works when applied to the goals set for me by Spirit.
Along with those tools Spirit gave me a vision to follow. This is the primary job assigned to me by
Spirit. This is my compulsion. This is my specific and primary purpose in life. This is what I must
do or go mad or die. Sometimes it has been easy to describe that vision to others, other times it
has been difficult. Regardless the children of my following that vision are The Waxing Moon
network, Pagan Way, Pagan Movement (in Britain and Ireland), 1734, Temple of the Elder Gods
(TOTEG), and Metista. The grandchildren, great grandchildren and their offspring, of that vision
are too numerous to even begin to name.
I am an organizer, administrator, teacher and trainer. Those are the talents that spirit has given
me to use in fulfilling its purpose. When I cannot actively do these things I go crazy.
I am not a priest, minister, or spiritual leader of that nature although I have performed their
functions when I have had to. I do so only until I can find someone appropriate that I can assist to
fill those roles. When I find them I gladly give the tasks of priest, minister, saint, and spiritual leader
over to them. Those jobs are not my calling; they are not my specific and primary purpose. I am
not that kind of an Elder.
I am especially not an avatar and if anyone expects me to behave like one they are going to be
shocked and disappointed. I am not an Elder of that kind.
Metista is my youngest child. I love her most of all. She may be my last child. I am her father, and
Starrhawk is her mother. We both want what is best for her. I need, because of my calling, to do
administration, organization, and teaching regarding her. This is what spirit demands that I do to
help her grow. When I do not do these tasks, when I cannot do these tasks, or feel like I am being
prevented from doing these tasks, I go mad. It's then that my behavior is insane and I cause
problems.
Kethesa,
Joseph
"Action is the most sincere form of prayer."
