Worth a Thousand Words

So, you've probably looked at the picture on this site, and said, "Sam, you sure look different in real life. What happened to the chiseled good looks? And why are you wearing a scarf!?"

Well, to answer your questions: 1) Sure I look different in real life. All the polygons your Xbox can muster can't recreate decades of sacrifice and duty to one's country, and 2) You're right... I'd never wear a scarf. Put 1 and 2 together, and you can plainly see that it's not really me.

As a matter of security, I can't reveal true pictures of me on this website. Besides, I tend to shy away from cameras, so it's not like I have a bunch of pictures to show you anyway. So I'm leaving it up to you, the Splinter Cell fans. I've created an online gallery on Yahoo.com, and I'll be posting the pictures you send me. Click on the "What's This?" link on the right to learn more.

I also created a Yahoo profile, which was a lot more difficult than it ought to be. I understand that "Sam Fisher" is not the rarest of names, but it's my name, and I'd like to be able to use it, instead of samfisher1001001 or samfishersamfisher or something. I settled for the_real_sam_fisher, just to make things as clear as possible.

Speaking of Yahoo, you should see some of the yahoos who create profiles in the likeness of me:

• the_splinter_cell03 claims to be a "Stealth Opretive" and says that "any wrong move will lead to your elimition." Sorry kid, I don't "elimit" people, but I do spell correctly.


• samfisher16 likes to play HALO and eat at HANKS. I don't know what they serve at Hank's, but whatever it is, it's obviously contributing to the decline of America's youth.


• This Sam Fisher needs to pull up his dungarees a bit. Nobody wants to see his 38th Parallel.


• Take a look at bugster_bummer's profile, and tell me -- is there a more pathetic thing to write on an online profile than "Marital Status: Single and Looking?" I mean, you might as well just say "Lonely and Desperate" or "Clingy and Alone, oh so Alone."

Look, people -- these are public profiles you're making here. Is this the way you want people want to see you?

Ranting aside, I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of pictures you all send me. Don't be shy -- mail me something. That's an order.